Give and get support around quitting
I have used cigarettes as self-medication for stress and depression for so many, many years. I have trouble processing sadness and anger, and tend to be very demanding of myself. It's also hard for me to reach out for help or support. On the outside, I appear very calm and grounded (which reflects how I usually feel)...BUT, I run like the wind to smoke when confronted by (what seems to me) overwhelming stress. The irrational thoughts go something like this: "I cannot possibly survive this without smoking. Smoking is the only thing that will help me."
I know this is addiction speaking. I know this is wrong. For example, over the past year, I have dealt with an opiate addicted son moving back home again (with all the accompanying chaos and heart-break) and my mother dying unexpectedly. And then a million smaller stressors. I'm not special. Everyone has stress in their lives. But not everyone feels like the only way to get relief is to slowly poison themselves by smoking.
After a relapse ( usually only for a day or 2, before I come to my senses), I have no illusion that smoking helped.
I don't want to continue to repeat this insane cycle. There will always be stressors and crises. I want to learn how to live life without smoking.
Anya
day 2
Thank-you elvan. I appreciate your empathy and support.
A couple of things to read which may help: https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/people/PirateQueen/blog/2017/05/16/focus-and-diffuse-shifting-per... ; My Chill Pill ; https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2017/02/15/stress-and-resilience?com... Stress can be managed. We just have to learn the best techniques that work for us. Which requires homework and practice. Quitting is a skill which can be learned and so is stress relief. (Cutting back on caffeine during stressful times can also help, as caffeine can create symptoms similar to stress.) Keep working it!
Thank-you Giulia, especially for encouraging me to write and reach out. I bookmarked all your links. I think that because I have few cravings, for weeks or months (I tend to be "lucky" that I mostly feel the benefits of not smoking very early on).....but I struggle with growing depression after a couple of months. And like I wrote, I am slammed with cravings when there are huge stressors. I have a lot of practicing and growing to do. I want this to be THE QUIT THAT STICKS!
Thinking about you stressing out over quitting is stressing me out! But I'm not going to smoke over it. I'm going to go look at a picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head instead. I have come to the conclusion that THAT is the meaning of life. Smoking has nothing to do with it.
I prefer to think of it with a waffle!
;0)
Everything is clear to me now.
yeah but didn't bring enough for the whole class unless there's a trailer somewhere.
What do you mean, there's not enough for the rest of the class?
Hahahahaha...small class but very, very funny.
Guinea One please