Holidays

[Elle047]

I am on day 4 of not smoking! Yay! However, my entire family smokes and I’m nervous about the upcoming holidays. It’s going to feel so weird not being outside smoking with all of them like I have done for decades now. I think I will feel like I’m “missing out” not being with them. They spend a lot of time smoking together and talking. Any suggestions?

[Tabbiekat]

Every one smokes? Even if it is the one relative you don't know, guess what? you will have every reason to get to know them this year. It is hard. I was the "outcast" during my family gatherings as I was one of the few who smoked. I would recommend just spending short stints with them, let them know you have quit, maybe someone will be wanting to join you in your quit, even if for a few hours. Be the helper by going around collecting trash/dishes attending to meal prep ect.

When I was a smoker among a lot who did smoke with a few who didn't I would seek out the non smoker, not light up for a few minutes just so they felt included. When I was a smoker I respected those who didn't smoke and either stepped away myself or at least tried to make sure they were not downwind. If someone does not automatically respect you for not smoking ask them if you can stand on the other side of them and if the smell is too much just excuse yourself to go to another area.

Your desire to hold tight to your quit, your accomplishment of having quit might actually help those who are on the cusp of quitting themselves. Be proud, be strong and hold tight to your quit as the next couple of months pass.

As I look ahead toward my thanksgiving dinner with the family, in years past I would always step out with the handful of smokers, this year I plan on getting to know some of the in-laws

[Elle047]

Thank you Tabbiekat     I appreciate that. 

[Tabbiekat]

You, me, everyone else new to the quit and those who have years doing this, can make it through the holidays as non smokers

[crazymama_Lori]

get yourself some vicks and put it under your nose or get some methol cough drops.  What I did with my first go-around on the holiday season is found something to keep my hands busy, made a game plan beforehand.  and if it got to be too much, just remove myself from the party, take a few deep breaths, relax and got back at it.  Main thing is to steer away from alcohol.  Grab some mints, gum, flavored toothpicks.  Sometimes our anticipation of an event is far worse than it turns out to be.  I think shashort‌ could give you story on her first family gathering

[Elle047]

Thank you for the advice. I didn’t even think of some of those. Especially, avoiding alcohol. But you are so right. I don’t think that would be in my best interest. 

[elvan]

Welcome to EX, Lori is absolutely right, you need to avoid alcohol and you might want to not worry about things that you are missing.  Your relatives are not smoking because they want to, they are smoking because they HAVE to, their addictions still have them.  I went back to work not long after I quit and I was terrified because one of my closest friends worked at the same place and we always went outside to smoke.  I told her that my quit was my priority and that I HAD to protect it at all costs...I could not go outside with her for a while.  I could tell she was annoyed with me but we, seriously were the only two smokers and it meant that she had to go alone.  I was able to go eventually but it was weeks into my quit and I never sat on the "smoker's" bench, I always stood so I wasn't downwind of her smoke.  I wanted to protect the days I had quit above all else.  Oh, I also talked about my quit and about EX and about how important it was to me and still is. Please remember that smoking really does not do anything FOR you, you can still talk and laugh with people, you can still express yourself, you do not NEED to smoke.  You are on a beautiful journey, you are at the beginning of that journey and you really will reap rewards you never even considered.  You will grow more self confident, you will not feel like you have to hide your addiction because you are in recovery.  I used the mantra NOPE, Not One Puff Ever...constantly...over and over and over again.  I reminded myself of how far I had come until I didn't have to any more.  Smoking doesn't fix things.

I strongly suggest that you stay close to the site, I came here every morning and every evening and I still do most days.  We are all here to help and we all want you to succeed, we all started in the same place.

Best to you,

Ellen

[Elle047]

Wow, seriously. Thank you. I imagine I will be reading your reply for days to come. Not smoking means so much to me. It’s wonderful to see other people where it means so much to them as well. It inspiring to see such strong people. It gives me hope. 

[elvan]

You can do this and every person on here wants that for you, I am happy that you are here.

Ellen

[shashort]

Hi Elle047  I thought I responded to this but guess I didn't hit the post button or something.  Well sorry late to respond. Hope your holiay went great. I wrote a blog on my holiday last Thanksgiving if you want to read it, think that may be the story crazymama_Lori  was referring to. Trigger hit fast and in the begining you have to be on your toes on how to react.  The big key for me in the beginning of my quit was to be prepared with a quit tool box (gum, mints, water bottle you will see mine even had a whole lemon in my box for emergency) and have a exit statedgy plan ro get away when the tough gets going. You CAN do this. We want to see you succeed so stay strong and keep with NOPE and you can't go wrong.