Today is day 1114 of my nicotine-free life:
This is very synchronistic in my life TODAY...I made a hard decision to step away from a family situation that was feeling hurtful to me and that I was wasting needless energy on; trying to stay in my people-pleasing, nurturing-others, careful-of -others-feelings, cheerleader mode. I needed a break and I took it. A brand new approach for me...at first it felt uncomfortable, but the more time has passed since I made that decision (AND FOLLOWED THROUGH ON IT) the lighter and freer I felt to be the "real" me, the "true" me, my "authentic self."
You can't move forward if you're stuck in a rut. For me, the rut was the role I played in my family all my life--the one who took care of everyone since she was 5 years old. I don't want to be that person anymore. So I had to break free. Simple, but not easy. Time will tell if the relationship(s) will survive. If they do, they will be healthier. It's not in my control.
MY thoughts, words and actions ARE what are in my control. And I'm choosing to move forward...one decision that will change my future. For the better...it's like a huge weight was taken from my shoulders...I feel lighter...
As far as the ONE DECISION to QUIT SMOKING, I was always waiting for my life to get less stressful, for my family drama to stop (I thought, "if they would just give me three months without a crisis!"), for me to "get my act together" ,(whatever THAT meant), for me to be less stressed, more spiritual, less lonely, more happy, and THEN I would quit. Well, folks, THAT never happened (I got a frig magnet like below as one of my 3-year-smoke-free gifts to myself):
So I had to make the DECISION, in the midst of my messed-up life, to QUIT NICOTINE FOREVER...and you know what, my life from the outside hasn't changed that terribly much since I made that decision,....but I'VE CHANGED...and that has made my life SO MUCH BETTER!
ONE DECISION to make your life better. GUARANTEED. And...it may affect your relationships. BUT...YOU ARE WORTH IT! JUST DO IT!!!! And follow through...I PROMISE you'll never regret it!
Bonnie (an improved version of myself from 1115 days ago 
)
Hey - you quit smoking - you can do ANYTHING to which you set your mind. So glad you are finding your authentic self. It is also another benefit of not hiding behind that cloud of smoke. They seem to go hand in hand, sometimes.
Glad you are FREE!
