New to Community; 6 days to Quit Day!

Blog Post created by tsmith6105 on May 22, 2018

Hi all! I'm 44 years old, recently divorced with 2 young kids and I'm getting ready to quit on 5/29/18... 6 days to go. I started smoking 30 years ago, quit for 2 years in my late 20's and then started up again about 15 years ago. I have been a pack/day smoker ever since. I've tried a few times to quit in the past few years but never made it past day 1. 


For the past 4 days I've been cutting back each day in anticipation of my quit date and I've been taking zyban for a few weeks. I'm down to about 8 cigs/day and today I've only had 2 so far and it's 11:00am.  I'm pretty scared about quitting especially since my life has been kinda falling apart at the seams lately but I also feel more determined than I ever have in the past. I feel like I'm actually doing it for me this time and I feel confident that it's really going to happen but at the same time grieving in a strange way that I'll be giving up the only thing that's been consistent in my life for so long.


My reasons for quitting are many: but really I just don't want to be a slave to it anymore and I want to be around to see my kids grow up... they're 8 years old and I've told them I'm quitting after Memorial Day. Plus; I live in the SF Bay Area and smoking just couldn't be more intolerable here. 


I hope to rely on this community in the coming months/years and honestly hope I'll be in a position to give back at some point down the road after I get a little time under my belt. Everyone I know (therapist included) has told me not to try and quit right now because I'm going through so much emotional stuff with my recent divorce and stress etc. but I feel like my life will always have something stressful going on and I might as well just do this now. 


I'm freaking out a little but at the same time I'm glad I've found this community and look forward to going through this journey together with all of you folks. Thanks for reading!