Fighting is exhausting. If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you fight about an issue, make up, fight about that same issue, make up, again and again…you get the picture right?". It's the same thing when you continue to go back to smoking/vaping/chewing. Fighting depletes your energy. It wears you down causing guilt, depression ,low self esteem and feelings of failure. People make up without finding real resolutions and that is why people give up and go back to smoking. The energy is not in the right place. Most of us don't like change which is why we "struggle". Of course, as I have stated many times I try not to use the word struggle. Clearing my throat as I say that. Hmmm My vocabulary calls it a "challenge". There are some things we can not change but the things we can takes courage-strength in the face of pain and grief. It takes courage to quit smoking. The truth is sometimes life is hard and sometimes life is easy. Sometimes life feels bad and sometimes it feels good. The same way with withdrawal from nicotine.
The best way I’ve found to stop fighting myself is to embrace what is and a lot of this has to do with the perspective we choose to take. For example, several weeks ago my internet was down. It was at a least convenient time, especially on top of all other stressors but it happened. I will not tell you that I handled it as gracefully as I could have, (long hours on the phone with customer service showed impatience) but I did finally accept it. I realized that I would get through that crisis just like I’ve gotten through all other difficult moments in my life but I had to make changes and do things differently in order to proceed. (As a side note, it ended up being a blessing in disguise, as many things often are.)
The reality is that we encounter challenges in our lives whether or not we embrace them makes a difference on how we react . However, when we fight our EXperiences, we create suffering for ourselves. The amount of energy we expend fighting ourselves is astonishing. Once you stop resisting what is, space seems to open up. The ride seems to be a little less bumpy, the views maybe a bit more crisp. You become freed up to take action in ways you couldn’t before. You have new space and depth to feel and relate to the issues at hand. We even start to breathe easier and relax.
If you’re encountering something difficult in your life right now I encourage you to embrace it. If you’re wondering what that really means, it means sit with your feelings and let it be ok. If you have to cry, cry. Don’t tell yourself there’s something wrong with you because this or that is happening. Don’t push your feelings away by telling yourself to be strong. Sometimes in our weakest moment we are stronger. True strength comes from being with your feelings which we learn to better adapt to and deal with when we quit smoking. In other words, stay connected to yourself. Do something kind for yourself. Take a hot bath. Read a book. Meditate. Go for a run. Practice yoga. Tell yourself you are loved just as you are. Believe it. Give love to your discomfort. Give love to your circumstances. Allow yourself to recognize the slight chance that this challenge might be your greatest ally. You’ll see it all more clearly when you get to the other side. But while you’re in it, stop fighting.
From my life EXperiences I have learned it is a choice to try and accept the painful EXperiences of life. (divorce, death etc.) or be caught up in the pain and grief and not able to move forward. To accept the things that put me in precarious positions and make changes to deal with them, to accept the fear that these occurrences give rise to and acknowledgement that this moment really isn’t that different from all of the other moments I’ve gotten through but just a new EXperience and even so, I will get through this moment as well because that’s what human beings do. We prevail Prevail in your quit by being diligent, kind, mindful and loyal to YOURSELF. If need be one moment at a time. Never give up Never give in. Love yourself.. We all are a work in "progress" . As one of myquit buddies use to say.
Don't quit on your quit" 2183 DOF