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Newbie Quitters

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Fighting is exhausting. If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you fight about an issue, make up, fight about that same issue, make up, again and again…you get the picture right?". It's the same thing when you continue to go back to smoking/vaping/chewing.  Fighting depletes your energy. It wears you down causing guilt, depression ,low self esteem and feelings of failure.  People make up without finding real resolutions and that is why people give up and go back to smoking. The energy is not in the right place. Most of us don't like change which is why we "struggle".  Of course, as I have stated many times I try not to use the word struggle. Clearing my throat as I say that. Hmmm  My vocabulary calls it a "challenge". There are some things we can not change but the things we can takes courage-strength in the face of pain and grief. It takes courage to quit smoking. The truth is sometimes life is hard and sometimes life is easy. Sometimes life feels bad and sometimes it feels good. The same way with withdrawal from nicotine.


The best way I’ve found to stop fighting myself is to embrace what is and a lot of this has to do with the perspective we choose to take. For example, several weeks ago my internet was down. It was at a least convenient time, especially on top of all other stressors but it happened. I will not tell you that I handled it as gracefully as I could have, (long hours on the phone with customer service showed impatience) but I did finally accept it. I realized that I would get through that crisis just like I’ve gotten through all other difficult moments in my life but I had to make changes and do things differently in order to proceed.  (As a side note, it ended up being a blessing in disguise, as many things often are.) 

The reality is that we encounter challenges in our lives whether or not we embrace them makes a difference on how we react . However, when we fight our EXperiences, we create suffering for ourselves. The amount of energy we expend fighting ourselves is astonishing. Once you stop resisting what is, space seems to open up. The ride seems to be a little less bumpy, the views maybe a bit more crisp.  You become freed up to take action in ways you couldn’t before. You have new space and depth to feel and relate to the issues at hand. We even start to breathe easier and relax.


If you’re encountering something difficult in your life right now I encourage you to embrace it. If you’re wondering what that really means, it means sit with your feelings and let it be ok. If you have to cry, cry. Don’t tell yourself there’s something wrong with you because this or that is happening. Don’t push your feelings away by telling yourself  to be strong.  Sometimes in our weakest moment we are stronger.  True strength comes from being with your feelings which we learn to better adapt to and deal with when we quit smoking.  In other words, stay connected to yourself. Do something kind for yourself. Take a hot bath. Read a book. Meditate. Go for a run. Practice yoga. Tell yourself you are loved just as you are. Believe it. Give love to your discomfort. Give love to your circumstances. Allow yourself to recognize the slight chance that this challenge might be your greatest ally. You’ll see it all more clearly when you get to the other side. But while you’re in it, stop fighting. 


From my life EXperiences I have learned it is a choice to try and accept the painful EXperiences of life. (divorce, death etc.) or be caught up in the pain and grief and not able to move forward. To accept the things that put me in precarious positions and make changes to deal with them, to accept the fear that these occurrences give rise to and acknowledgement  that this moment really isn’t that different from all of the other moments I’ve gotten through but just a new EXperience and even so, I will get through this moment as well because that’s what human beings do. We prevail Prevail in your quit by being diligent, kind, mindful and loyal to YOURSELF. If need be one moment at a time.  Never give up Never give in. Love yourself..  We all are a work in "progress" . As one of myquit buddies use to say.

Don't quit on your quit"  2183 DOF

Stop fighting yourself an... | Quotes & Writings by Mehak Jain | YourQuote


30 Inspirational Quotes For When The Going Gets Tough - Blog

I'm so thankful that quitting smoking and remaining quit is doable it's definetly not easy by any stretch of the imagination in those early days and weeks of quitting smoking BUT as long as we are willing determined and totally committed to succeed then there's no way any of us will FAIL! I remember only too well how horrendous it was in my early weeks and I hope that we all will remember and N.E.F~Never Ever Forget~because None of US ever has to ever go back to another Day ONE Ever~Vigilance is key to remaining Smokefree plus Relapsing isn't the answer EVER! 


Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

– George Bernard Shaw

I am sure we have heard the phrase. "Do the right thing".  In the 80'st Spike Lee produced a movie with that title  I think that movie help make the phrase famous. I still tell my adult children if you can't do the right thing be careful.  Everyday we have to make choices. What to eat, wear, do. the list is long. I have a problem when it comes to choosing snacks.  Sometimes I don't get it right and regret that I have  made the wrong choice. What a feeling of guilt that overcomes me and I have to keep starting over.  It would be easier if I did not buy them but with a young man in the house that is difficult. I believe that is my EXcuse to eat the chips and cookies. Bottom line making the right choice is not always easy. How can we make it easier.  I could make it easier by not buying the snacks.  Let him buy his own. lol.

      Seriously.  When it comes to smoking we have to realize it is and will always be a choice.  The smoke or not to smoke. Simple.  It takes  time and practice of doing it over and over again not to smoke un til making the right choice becomes automatic. Every time you say no you become stronger which over time makes it easier .

      Anyone who has been on this journey any length of time realizes that quitting smoking isn't just about quitting smoking. It is about changing the mind to make the right choice and believing that one can  It takes debunking years of programming that you have to smoke. Quitting requires a change in your brain to "unwash the brainwashing". It takes relearning our thinking. @SELF TALK.  can help get you there. 

      There is a brighter future to envision for not smoking. New opportunities, new freedoms, doors that were closed open.  Your family life will become much happier. The stigma and low self esteem of being a smoker is removed .  You become very proud of yourself and realize that if you can quit smoking you are capable to accomplish many other things.  The financial relief is so much of a blessing the savings is phenomenal. You will also feel spiritually cleansed and grow in other areas of your life.(e.i. emotionally)  You become stronger mentally, the cloud of confusion is lifted.  Some of us finally get a “backbone” and learn to say no more often. Which is a good thing. We no longer feel like a second class citizen.

      Anything worth having requires work and so does changing your mind .With a I don't do that anymore mindset and NOPE not one puff ever NMW no matter  Dig Deep   Take smoking offer the table and  no longer an option SINAO smoking is not an option. and quitting is DOABLE.   By coming here reading the suggested material you can learn about nicotine addiction and how to deal with craves to put you on a clear path to freedom. . 


Today is the day to do the right thing, change your mind. make the right choice.  Choose Freedom.  Hang tough, stay close, don’t quit on your quit, protect it. 

Do the Right Thing (1989) | The Criterion Collection

Quitting is Easy When We're in the Mood   


Dealing with mate /friends that still smoke 


Your Quit Is Not Here 




When I first came to this site I used a lot of my time reading the elders blogs.  They had EXperieince.  Even though I may not have always agreed with them I learned that my addiction was at time defensive and did not want to hear the truth. The truth will set you free and that is what you will find in these blogs the truth. Read and Feed. More to come. 


Message from an Elder

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Dec 22, 2020

This is for the newbies.  This blog is seven years old. It was a great inspiration to me early in my quit.  The author SkyGirl is not available to be on the site at this time. I think some of the newbies would be inspired as I was.

I am 1 month away from a 6 year quit.  This blog had a major impact on how I viewed at my quit.  Please take the time to read it. To All Newbies: How to Care for a Newborn Baby Quit 


Coloring helps!!!

Posted by Latimer-2015 Oct 28, 2020

Ok guys so I have figured out that another way to fight my cravings to smoke is color!!! “Color?” Your probably saying but believe it or not... the app that I have downloaded... you are able to create beautiful pictures and because you become eager to see the finished product... you don’t think about anything else but that!!! If you want to try it please do, and let me know!!!
This is a picture of many that I have done!!! I love it!!

**For anyone who wants to try this the app is called “Gallery” you can download it for free for iOS and Android!!**

This quit smoking thing can be really rough at times.  So many ups and downs but the reward outweighs the hard spots.  You start, you mess up, you start again.  You get frustrated, tired, angry, and you go through so many emotions that you normally dull with smoking you just don't know what to do. Now you are on this journey and you think you have got it right this time.  Oops, that little man on the shoulder comes when you are upset about something or just out of the blue and he whispers in your ear and says....just one.  Say NOPE (Not One Puff Ever) Is the key to battling the nicodemon.  Don't be fooled.  Shake it off.  Knock it off your shoulder and Stomp on it! Tell that little old man that you are not going to smoke no matter what! NMW  NOPE Say it Out loud!  NOPE  You have to forge on and not look back one day at a time. ODAAT. 

Sometimes it may seem to take all of your energy but it is worth it.  Do it by any means necessary to get to the good place of not smoking.   NMW  Guess what! You will not die. Smoking will kill you. You can make it if you "Keep it Simple"...  You can make this work if you NEVER GIVE UP.  If one thing doesn't work, 101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke try another but never ever take a puff. NMW  No matter what!  Take smoking off the table, SINAO smoking is not an option.  Do something different, and keep forging to do something different.

Stand firm in your commitment.  Repeat after me.  Not on my lips, not on my tongue, not in my lungs. Not in my nose.  Not in my clothes Not in my throat, I will not choke because I will not smoke. If you are in a situation that may be stressful, step away from it.  Practice this Breathing Exercise, it worked for me.  Self-talk. One of the greatest tools you can use  Never give up never give in hang tough. You can do this.  Believe that you can.  Say I am a nonsmoker.  Keep forging.


Words have power.  What you are telling yourself is very important in life as in quitting smoking.  Anyone who knows me understands that I hardly ever use the word struggle.  I prefer to replace it with the word challenge.  Which sets your mind up to be willing to meet the challenge.  I am not saying that we do not have struggles in life but your perception can put a lot of weight on the trials, temptations, and weaknesses that we EXperience. 


Let just look at those two words for right now.

Struggle- make forceful or violent efforts to get free of restraint or constriction.

Challenge -a call or summons to engage in any contest, as of skill, strength, etc. something that by its nature or character serves as a call to battle, contest, special effort, etc.:

Which one will make it easier?  Not easy but Easier!

What you say to yourself matters.  Whatever you tell your brain has a major impact on your life and your quit smoking journey.  If you are constantly feeding your brain negative thoughts.  What will you get? ….Negative results

As a wise elder once said, "It is what's between the ears".  The writer James Allen states, "As a man thinketh so is he"

The goal is to Debrief, Debunk  Deprogram the thinking that you need or have to have a cigarette. We have told ourselves that so many times  It is time to deprogram those thoughts. In order to do that, imagine washing your brain of that brainwashing thought. One way to do that is through self-talk.


Let’s just look at a few.

 “I can’t do this”. ( you have already given up).  Say: Yes, I can do this!

“This is hard”.  (That is a reality when it comes to quitting smoking.)   Yes, it is hard but I can do it!

“I am struggling”. (Sounds like you will never make it). This is a "challenge" that I can meet.

 “I will never make it”.  Keep telling yourself... I am going to make it. No matter what!

“I never could do anything right”.   Say I can do this!  I won't give up.  

“I am so stupid”.  (You are doomed if you keep saying this one.)   What a man thinks so is he.

The more I live, the more I learn.  I am becoming more firm in my belief that there is a reason for everything.  I started writing this several days ago and today 8/26 this blog popped up with a like on my response.  It was confirmation for me to continue this blog and that I was on the right track in helping those who "struggle".

Here is a blog from Barbscloud early in her journey. If you re struggling make it a challenge to make it easier.…  

Change what you are telling yourself and change your life.

Some of you may know me, some may not.  I have not been here on a regular basis as I use to. I won't make EXcuses.  It just is what it is.  I had been mentally exhausted. I felt a disconnect because I did not have much to say that I already had not said.  I go through things just like the rest.  How I deal with them is still a learning EXperience for me.   Over 5.5 years ago I used cigarettes as my crutch.  I had not developed the skills of dealing on life terms without the immediate hit from a cigarette.  These last few months have been up and down emotionally but thank God He has given me friends and family to help me through it along with the knowledge that I do not have to smoke.  That it is my choice and my commitment, to honor it.  No matter how old we get, life is still a learning EXperience.  I think I am young until an old lady at the pier called me ma'am  ( just a little side joke) There were days that I would be in despair but knew that I would be okay because of my faith and the life that my sister and father lived. Normally I take the bull by the horns and charge forward.  I did not have that energy for EX.  Being honest and keeping it real.  I had to protect myself from the Pandemic and deal with all of the images of violence was at times draining. Through prayer and understanding, I/we will be okay.   


Anyway, the point that I would like to relay is if you are new at this quit thing, please, please don't give up. No matter what you are going through you do not have to smoke. Life is going to happen and if you stick to NOPE you can make this quit thing a reality.  It can be hard at times but just keep telling yourself that you can make it and do the things you need to do to stay smoke-free.  It is called WORK.  In time to have a smoke will not be that important.  If you hang tough and never give up one day no matter what you are going through will never be a reason to smoke but an EXcuse.  Sure you may have thoughts but in time the thought of smoking will be a glimmer that floats into nonexistence.  Be aware of your triggers and work through those moments.  One moment at a time.  You will survive.  You will not die if you do not smoke.  You will die if you continue to smoke zit all boils down to a choice.   Somethings are easier to get through than others but in time no matter how great the crisis you will make it through and smoking will not be part of it.   Sometimes it is the little things that can cause you to slip, so know what those little things are. and BREATH> If is a person, place or thing learn how to work around it.  If you have to smoke if you are around smokers don't be around smokers.  If you have to smoke if you drink don't drink.  "Keep it Simple"...  Stay true to your quit.  It is yours and worth saving.  I hope this does not sound rhetorical. I also have learned it can get that way when you are trying to help someone realize they do not have to smoke. Thanks for all those who reached out to me during this season of my life.  Love back at you. The journey continues...


The Process

Posted by Christine13 Jun 3, 2020

This is all a process to go through.  From the first few days, to the first week, 2nd week, 3 week, one month.

Two months, 3 months on onward to permanent freedom.  I will be patient with the process.  And my days will add up like pearls on a string.  Quitting is a journey, not an event.  I understand that now.


I'm Ready

Posted by imepiphany May 19, 2020

Thirty years and thirty attempts...

That's how long I've smoked and how many times I've tried to quit.

I know the dangers.  Watched my grandmother defeat lung cancer twice only to die of emphysema-related COPD.  It was horrible watching her struggle just to breathe.

This time, I'm getting prepared to be successful, first by joining this site.

I know I need the support, encouragement, tips, motivation and accountability.  

The second by beginning to take Chantix.

I've been holding onto this prescription since last summer, afraid of the side effects.

My quit date is one week from today so I took my first dose yesterday.

So far, so good and I feel great.  

My quit plan is complete.

And I just ordered flowers to arrive next Friday, to congratulate myself for making it through those first three days.  


I occasionally read my archived blogs to NEF.  I woke up early this morning.  It was earlier that what I thought.  I looked at the clock wrong so here I am as I use to be, at EX reading in the wee hours of the morning. I was reading a blog in which I quoted my dad about quitting smoking. He said, “You can do whatever you set your mind to do”.  That was years ago and I still remember it. Of course, I have used those words of wisdom in other areas of my life but I never applied them to quitting smoking.  It may sound cliches but believe it!  With the right mindset and education, you can be successful in quitting smoking ...and anything else.  Along this journey, you may hear a lot of cliches but many are so true.  Believe it Achieve it.  Deep breathing... on and on.  With a support system like the EX community, quitting is so doable.  However, you must remain focused on your decision (e.i.commitment, vow, pledge) and not allow anyone, anything, or reason to pick up a stinkin’ cigarette ever again you will remain free. 

I try to look at the brighter side of life, including this quit smoking thing.  Quitting smoking is the beginning of experiencing real life without a cigarette. Some days it is up and some days down  It can be rough.  Some call it a real live roller coaster. In fact, in the beginning, it may not feel so grand as we go through cravings, urges, withdrawal, fears, anxiety, raw emotions, and discomfort. Some equate quitting as the end of a friendship, or lovers breakup.  To me, it was a “new beginning”.   In my mind, It was “my cleansing”.  With every crave, I felt my body cleansing the toxins/drugs.  At times it was tense and other times a newfound euphoria that only "cleansing" delivered. Whew!  Blowing thinking it about it.  I believe that this mindset made it easier for me.  I was EXcited to be on a brighter path of living that I could be my own best friend.  I learned to love myself more without a "stinkin’ sickerette".   I  began doing things I thought I couldn’t do or had procrastinated doing.  It did not happen overnight it is a continuous process of changing my mind even up to just 20 days away from a 5-year quit. Thank God for the transformation. 

I made up my mind that I would literally never ever touch a cigarette ever again.  I remember reading here someone made a vow never to touch a cigarette lighter therefore they would not smoke.  I went further with my vow. Some of you may know my mantra>  "Not in my hand, not on my lips, not on my tongue, not in my lungs, not in my throat, I will not choke.  A vow not to ever smoke no matter what.  Adhering to your vow is an effective mind tool. You have made up your mind and nothing is going to change it. PERIOD.  NOPE (Not One Puff Ever) says that neither death, divorce, heartbreak, sickness, injury, accident, loneliness, home or job loss _______________ ( fill in the blank). is not an EXcuse to smoke. Make up your mind that you will not use EXcuses.  Get started with a made-up mind to prepare your tool kit.  Implement a plan with a made-up mind. Make a vow to ensure you will protect your quit by any means necessary.  Take smoking off the table and do something different. 101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke Smoking is not an option SINAO. Make up your mind that you can do this no matter.  It is okay if you have to cry, stomp, scream, moan, sing, pray, dance or laugh your way through it.  With a made-up mind, you will not fail. Make up your mind that you are a nonsmoker and you just don't do that anymore! Another thing my dad would always tell me.

"There is no such thing as “can’t”.   BTW my dad just celebrated his 98th BD

Hang tough, never give up, never give in, stay close. 

SELF TALK.  Defeating Self-Talk


WAIT !!!!!!!!!

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Oct 20, 2019

Maybe that's too many EXclamation marks but I wanted to get your attention so you would get the point.  You say your world is falling apart and you just have to have a puff.  Your mind is telling you that you need or want a cigarette.  NO!  WAIT.  Think about it.  You are stronger than a dead leaf wrapped in paper dipped in thousands of chemicals. It's just a cigarette.


Think about it.  Is it going to bring your world back together again?  Logic:  NO! 

The addiction will lie to you and say yes but don't fall for it.  WAIT! Change your Stinkin Thinkin

NO, you do not have to smoke.


Whether, happy, sad, lonely, tired, hungry, angry, anxious, depressed, sick, stressful, griefing, breakup, job loss, taxes and on and on. Logic: Can a puff from burning dead leaves dipped in poison solve the problem? Hmm, I hear you saying hmm. "Just one".  It is not the one cig but the one puff that will lead to another, 

  A wise Elder once said,

"we are only one puff away from full-blown relapse". 

The addiction to nicotine is the problem. Know the LAW! No matter what. NOPE (Not One Puff Ever). Get past it. Breathe deep and WAIT.  Of course, the thought of smoking will come but if you WAIT, in time those thoughts will be few and far in between.  No matter where you are in your journey be WILLING to WAIT.  Yes, you have to go through withdrawal but this is key...if you WAIT you will be able to stay on a forever journey of freedom from nicotine. 

Don't let the addiction create EXcuses for you. UNDERSTANDING EXCUSES 

 Breathe deep, take out your handy quit kit Quit kit and WAIT. 

Focus on something else. 101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke 

I learned to ride the wave.Surf the Waves!    It is not a fight. Let it flow and WAIT. 

Mentally prepare your mind to WAIT. 

Never give up, Never give in, hang tough, Stay close. Protect your quit.


Early upon joining the EX Community, I heard that phrase frequently. It made a lot of sense to me and caused me to think about how I was going to travel on this journey.  Whether in fear, negativity, failure, and doubt or with confidence believing that I could. What you think and what you say to yourself plays a major role in all aspects of our lives. Even in quitting smoking.  We can come up with tons of EXcuses not to quit Let' s start saying and believing you can. It is our choice whether we win or lose.  So grab this good thought and hold on to it. Grab it!  Hold it!

If you do it will make your journey so much easier. You still have to go through to get to a good place in the quitting process.  There are no miracles just tools to use to make it easier. 

The best and most effective Quit Tool is right between your ears and it's FREE!

READ READ READ! Thomas3.20.2010  4/1/18

Here are a few takes by elder jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 on the subject. 

.Friends, Smokers, Everyone...Lend Me (What's Between) Your Ears  

Don't Lose Your Marbles, Use Your Marble! 

The Cure For Smoking Is Between Your Ears 

The Power To Succeed Or Fail Is Between Your Ears


 I preach it too. What are you telling yourself?

Talk the Talk 

and so does

AnnetteMMDefeating Self-Talk 


"Keep it Simple"...

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Aug 14, 2019

* Education IS the key to a successful quit

      Read the suggested material:

        Allen Carr's Quit Smoking on pdf on the web. No link allowed


*Start with a plan: when and how you are going to do it

    My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX 


*. Study your triggers and prepare for them

   Getting Ready to Quit | My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX 


*  Be willing to do whatever is necessary to not smoke

   101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke


Be willing to change people places and things if necessary


*   NOPE no matter what, when where, how or who

Make a vow and commit to it.

Develop your own mantra.

    " I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me."

      Connect to your hight power. 


* Come here often Research, Read, Study, Blog\, Get Involved.

      Pledge Daily 

    Daily Pledge

Ask questions, and offer support by telling your experience

Type HELP if you need it someone will respond

Blog your journey it helps, your written history, you will not regret it.


* Learn self Talk -  e.i. "I don't do that anymore"


Hang tough, it is doable if you never give up, never give in. NMW (no matter what)

Make a vow no matter what NOPE, not one puff ever.

Believe that you can and you will,  one day at a time


One urge at a time, one craving at a time, one success at a time.


Just BREATHE your way through it

   3 Deep Breathing Exercises to Reduce Stress & Anxiety - YouTube 


This is a journey, not an event but life-changing

Be willing to relearn your thinking and behavior

Learn that you do not have to smoke


Be willing to do the work to protect your quit

Quitting is the easy part, staying quit requires the work


If you drink alcohol and need to smoke, do not drink

If you have to smoke if you are around smokers don't be


No turning back know the law. Freedom's "The Law of Addiction" thread: Page 1 


Foundation For A Successful Quit