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Laughter is the Best Medicine

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        Every time I go to a medical appointment, they seem to ask about an advanced directive. You know like, what if something goes wrong?

So I've been thinking about this in it's simplest form.

 

You should have read the first one. 

Move to Massachusetts.

They've banned all vaping for the next 4 months.

In 4 Months, you'll be out of or nearly out of No Mans Land.

Pack up the Juul-haul!

 

Here's how to beat the cravings!

When You Get The Urge To Smoke? 

Put Up An Image And Let's See Who Gets Blocked

(Keep it Clean    )

Too Bad. They don't have my size.

NEED TO WATCH WITH SOUND, AND KEEP YOUR TISSUES NEAR (FOR THE LAUGHS)!!!

 

 

HAPPY FRIDAY ALL!!!

Just what is the last day before a colonoscopy 

you can eat Oreos?

And, what about corn?

 

Daniela-3-11-2016

Aliens

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Jun 22, 2019

As my husband is currently attending the National Annual Alien Convention in LA, I decided to dedicate the weekend laugh to them.

Enjoy, and have a wonderful weekend!

Image result for funny alien jokes

Image result for funny alien jokes

Image result for funny alien jokes

Image result for funny alien jokes

Image result for funny alien jokes

Why did the martian throw beef on the asteroid? He wanted it a little meaty-or.

How do martians eat their ice creams in space? In floats! 

What is an aliens favorite place on a computer? The space bar.

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien? A Mars-upial. 

Where would an alien park his space ship? A parking meteor! What did the alien get the baby to go to sleep? He rocked-it (rocket).

What do farmers need to create crop circles? A Pro-tractor.

What kind of currency do aliens use? Starbucks

What do you get when you cross a weeping willow and an UFO? A crying saucer.

What do you call an alien spaceship that goes from planet to planet to planet? A UF-hoe.

What do you get when you cross an airplane with a magician? A flying sorcerer.

Have you heard the one about the flying spaceship? Never mind its over your head.

What did the alien say to the gas pump? Take your finger out of your nose while I speak to you.

What kind of music do planets sing? Neptunes.

What do aliens like to read? Comet books!

What do you call a martian that can sing? Bruno Mars. 

When asked by a young patrol officer, "Do you know you were speeding?"

This 83-year-old woman gave the young officer an ear to ear smile and stated:-

"Yes, but .... I had to get there before I forgot where I was going."

The officer put his ticket book away and bid her good day.

Daniela-3-11-2016

Friday smiles

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Jun 14, 2019

I decided to make this about our beloved pets; they enrich our lives, make us better people for caring for them, but I will never know if I do for them as much as they do for me!

Enjoy, and Happy Friday to our pets and us!

 

Image result for smiling pets

Image result for smiling pets

Image result for smiling pets

Image result for smiling pets

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1. “Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.” 
Colette

2. “Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
Groucho Marx

3. “In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
Terry Pratchett

4. “If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.”
Mark Twain

5. “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
Winston Churchill

6. “Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
Sigmund Freud

7. “The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
Charles de Gaulle

8. “To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you… They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.”
Bill Bryson

9. “Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.”
Eddie Izzard

10. “If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman’s pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.”
George Bernard Shaw 

11. “No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.”
Kin Hubbard

12. “Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?” 
Jerry Seinfeld

Daniela-3-11-2016

I used to...

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Jun 9, 2019

Post uplifting jokes every weekend, it seems I have been slacking lately, catching up today...

Please smile, it is a crave buster: 

Image result for new jokes in english

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Related image

Image result for new jokes in english

Image result for new jokes in english

Image result for new jokes in english

short government jokes

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Image result for new jokes in english

We have a choice to let time distance us from smoking

or cling to it like it does/DID to our clothes.

I won't be thinking about a cigarette when I take my last breath. You?

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength. NIV Proverbs 17:22

 

Bebe Winans - Laughter Just Like A Medicine ft. Korean Soul - YouTube