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Laughter is the Best Medicine

76 Posts authored by: jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007

        Every time I go to a medical appointment, they seem to ask about an advanced directive. You know like, what if something goes wrong?

So I've been thinking about this in it's simplest form.

 

You should have read the first one. 

Move to Massachusetts.

They've banned all vaping for the next 4 months.

In 4 Months, you'll be out of or nearly out of No Mans Land.

Pack up the Juul-haul!

 

Here's how to beat the cravings!

When You Get The Urge To Smoke? 

Put Up An Image And Let's See Who Gets Blocked

(Keep it Clean    )

Too Bad. They don't have my size.

Just what is the last day before a colonoscopy 

you can eat Oreos?

And, what about corn?

 

When asked by a young patrol officer, "Do you know you were speeding?"

This 83-year-old woman gave the young officer an ear to ear smile and stated:-

"Yes, but .... I had to get there before I forgot where I was going."

The officer put his ticket book away and bid her good day.

We have a choice to let time distance us from smoking

or cling to it like it does/DID to our clothes.

I won't be thinking about a cigarette when I take my last breath. You?

Don't make a mill hole out of a tame moose

you can't make a sows purse out of a silk ear

 

Add one of your own?

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat & closed his eyes.

 

As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone & started talking in a loud voice:

 

"Hi, sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train. Yes, I know it's the 6:30 & not the 4:30 train, but I had a long meeting. No, honey, not w/that Kevin from the accounting office.

It was w/the boss. No, sweetheart, you're the only one in my life. Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!"

 

Fifteen (15) minutes later, she was still talking loudly.

 

When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over & said into the phone, "Sue, hang up the phone & come back to bed."

 

Sue doesn't use her cell phone in public any longer.

jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007

SEX

Posted by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Jan 31, 2019

is better without a cigarette in your mouth

or the need to shorten your afterglow

because you need a ******* cigarette.

I was given 4 bowls. They are shallow and 8 or 9 inches in diameter.

Perfect for a huge salad.

 

I gave two away.

I didn't look to see that one of the two I kept had a big chip in one edge.

 

I use the one with the chip in the edge.

Why?

I have two possible reasons.

Tell me why I do it please.