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Laughter is the Best Medicine

35 Posts authored by: Daniela-3-11-2016
Daniela-3-11-2016

Quarantine over?

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Jun 7, 2020

HAPPY SUNDAY EVERYBODY!

Sorry, the banner function still not working, I had a nice, huge pile of TP for the Banner...

 

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Last week, I was walking with my niece (4 years old). On the playground, she met a boy who was her age. They were playing, talking, and laughing. When we went home, she said, “Thank God, I found a guy.”

 

— Mom, what are your favorite flowers?
— I like lilies, and also daisies.
— Show me what they look like.
I’m looking for a photo and my son continues:
— When you’re dead, I’ll bring them to your grave.
I had no idea what to say. This was definitely an unusual way for him to show he cares. 

 

My daughter (6 years old) was eating soup and I suggested adding some onions or garlic.
Daughter: I don’t want that.
Me: Onions and garlic kill germs.
Daughter: I wish chocolate killed germs. 

 

My grandmother and I came home and saw my daughter (4 years old).

My grandma asks:
— Are you home alone? Where is your dad?
My daughter shook her head and pointed to the bedroom:
— He is putting me to sleep in the bedroom.

A boy, who was about 6 years old, was having a conversation with his dad:
Dad: Don’t go into the puddle — your feet will get soaked. Look both ways, or a car might hit you. Don’t climb the fence, you might fall. Don’t jump off the deck, you’ll break your leg.
The boy: Dad, you are a coward! 

My child brings home a new toy car from kindergarten. I ask him:
— Where did you get the toy?
— Oh, Jason and I traded...
— He gave you a car and what did you give him?
He thought and replied:
— I kicked him. 

 

We were having lunch and my daughter wasn’t behaving.
Me: Jane, stop this already! You’re behaving terribly! Your grandparents are coming and I’m going to tell them how naughty you are being!
Jane: Please don’t tell them! I want it to be a surprise!

Ann (4 years old) asks me:
— Have you found a job?
— Not yet.
— You’re doing it wrong. I’ll teach you. You take me to the kindergarten and Ashley’s mother takes her there too. Then, she goes to work. You can follow her and she’ll take you to work too!

 

My son invites me to eat cereal with him. I refuse because I want to lose weight to look beautiful. And he is sincerely surprised:
— Mom, you should wear a neckless to be beautiful, not lose weight.
This phrase became a motto at my work! 

 

We went to the store and parked our car under a tree. While we were in the store, some birds who were hanging out in the tree left some “presents” on the roof and the hood of our car. Because of this, I had to go to the car wash. After washing it, my son looked at the car and said,
— So, the birds are going to look at the car and say, “We did all the poop and it was all for nothing!” http://det.org.ru/?author=Panaramix

 

Dad: We should make our son try red caviar and we’ll let him watch cartoons in return.
Let’s go to his room.
Mom: Mark, do you want to watch cartoons for 15 minutes?
Son, looking at both of us: What do I have to eat? http://det.org.ru/?author=Kassia

 

Daughter: Dad, don’t go. Please, don’t go!
Me: I’m going to work.
Daughter, grabbing me: Please, can I go with you?
Me: What are you going to do there? This is my job!
She screams: I will work too!
Me, lost: What exactly will your job be?
She, looking embarrassed: I will be... My dad’s sweetheart.

 

I’m doing my makeup before a party: eye shadow, mascara, lipstick...

My son: Mom, why are you drawing on your face?
Me: To make myself very-very beautiful, honey.
My son: It won’t help...

 

My daughter and I are playing in the bathroom. I’m a princess and she is a mermaid. She is going to marry the prince.

Me: Well, if I’m the princess, I’m supposed to marry the prince.
She: So, what... I have to marry a diver?! 

15 Inimitable Children That Speak Better Than Some Adults

 

My 6-year-old son and I were looking at a scene where a 7-year-old girl was lying on the floor, begging her mother to buy something. My son asked me:
— Mom, is she stupid?
I said,
— Yes, honey.
The daughter’s mother yelled at me, “You’re stupid!” And my son said that now he knows that genes matter. 

 

Bonus: This is optimism.

They should go visit Marilyn

 

15 Inimitable Children That Speak Better Than Some Adults

Daniela-3-11-2016

Turkey day funnies

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Nov 28, 2019

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HAPPY TURKEY DAY, AND DON'T FORGET TO BE THANKFUL!!!

NEED TO WATCH WITH SOUND, AND KEEP YOUR TISSUES NEAR (FOR THE LAUGHS)!!!

 

 

HAPPY FRIDAY ALL!!!

Daniela-3-11-2016

Aliens

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Jun 22, 2019

As my husband is currently attending the National Annual Alien Convention in LA, I decided to dedicate the weekend laugh to them.

Enjoy, and have a wonderful weekend!

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Why did the martian throw beef on the asteroid? He wanted it a little meaty-or.

How do martians eat their ice creams in space? In floats! 

What is an aliens favorite place on a computer? The space bar.

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien? A Mars-upial. 

Where would an alien park his space ship? A parking meteor! What did the alien get the baby to go to sleep? He rocked-it (rocket).

What do farmers need to create crop circles? A Pro-tractor.

What kind of currency do aliens use? Starbucks

What do you get when you cross a weeping willow and an UFO? A crying saucer.

What do you call an alien spaceship that goes from planet to planet to planet? A UF-hoe.

What do you get when you cross an airplane with a magician? A flying sorcerer.

Have you heard the one about the flying spaceship? Never mind its over your head.

What did the alien say to the gas pump? Take your finger out of your nose while I speak to you.

What kind of music do planets sing? Neptunes.

What do aliens like to read? Comet books!

What do you call a martian that can sing? Bruno Mars. 

Daniela-3-11-2016

Friday smiles

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Jun 14, 2019

I decided to make this about our beloved pets; they enrich our lives, make us better people for caring for them, but I will never know if I do for them as much as they do for me!

Enjoy, and Happy Friday to our pets and us!

 

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1. “Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.” 
Colette

2. “Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
Groucho Marx

3. “In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
Terry Pratchett

4. “If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.”
Mark Twain

5. “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
Winston Churchill

6. “Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
Sigmund Freud

7. “The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
Charles de Gaulle

8. “To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you… They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.”
Bill Bryson

9. “Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.”
Eddie Izzard

10. “If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman’s pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.”
George Bernard Shaw 

11. “No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.”
Kin Hubbard

12. “Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?” 
Jerry Seinfeld

Daniela-3-11-2016

I used to...

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Jun 9, 2019

Post uplifting jokes every weekend, it seems I have been slacking lately, catching up today...

Please smile, it is a crave buster: 

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short government jokes

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Daniela-3-11-2016

It's Friday

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Mar 22, 2019

And even if my working day hasn't even started yet, it's still a working day, but what a Day, a Friday!!!

 

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Happy Friday Jokes

 

May this Friday be filled with love for all of us!

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And why isn't every doctor prescribing the same concoction for the prep for it???

5 years ago, I had to drink a huge glass in the evening, and another in the morning, and it was perfect clean up.

 

Now I am using another, started drinking at 6pm and will have to finish at about 9 (and that is 3/4 of a gallon of stuff).

Needless to say, my time is split between 2 important rooms in the house, and I let you guess which they are!

 

I decided to laugh at my own fear of not reaching the right room at the right time, and make it a game.  

So far I am winning.

 

Looking forward to be treated like a queen tomorrow, and getting an infusion of Michael Jackson's juice, too bad the procedure does not last too long.  That's good sleep!!!

 

For now I am still...

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And I need some serious lift up my spirits, since my darn knee still hurts after a first shot, another one coming in a week from tomorrow (the shot, not a knee). 

Till then, the monsoon season is taking the toll on old or injured joints...

 

Let's smile a little, I figured, based on Missy's joke today, I'll target couples this time: 

Laugh away and Happy Friday!!!

Jennifer-Quit-05-01-14 these are for you lady,  I hope they make you smile, and have a great weekend!!!

Daniela-3-11-2016

Need a smile?

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Jul 6, 2018

NOTE: some of the pictures might create fear of the future, please understand we are all going in the same direction...

 

 

And then something to look forward too!!!

 

HAPPY FRIDAY ALL!