Last week, I was walking with my niece (4 years old). On the playground, she met a boy who was her age. They were playing, talking, and laughing. When we went home, she said, “Thank God, I found a guy.”
— Mom, what are your favorite flowers? — I like lilies, and also daisies. — Show me what they look like. I’m looking for a photo and my son continues: — When you’re dead, I’ll bring them to your grave. I had no idea what to say. This was definitely an unusual way for him to show he cares.
My daughter (6 years old) was eating soup and I suggested adding some onions or garlic. Daughter: I don’t want that. Me: Onions and garlic kill germs. Daughter: I wish chocolate killed germs.
My grandmother and I came home and saw my daughter (4 years old).
My grandma asks: — Are you home alone? Where is your dad? My daughter shook her head and pointed to the bedroom: — He is putting me to sleep in the bedroom.
A boy, who was about 6 years old, was having a conversation with his dad: Dad: Don’t go into the puddle — your feet will get soaked. Look both ways, or a car might hit you. Don’t climb the fence, you might fall. Don’t jump off the deck, you’ll break your leg. The boy: Dad, you are a coward!
My child brings home a new toy car from kindergarten. I ask him: — Where did you get the toy? — Oh, Jason and I traded... — He gave you a car and what did you give him? He thought and replied: — I kicked him.
We were having lunch and my daughter wasn’t behaving. Me: Jane, stop this already! You’re behaving terribly! Your grandparents are coming and I’m going to tell them how naughty you are being! Jane: Please don’t tell them! I want it to be a surprise!
Ann (4 years old) asks me: — Have you found a job? — Not yet. — You’re doing it wrong. I’ll teach you. You take me to the kindergarten and Ashley’s mother takes her there too. Then, she goes to work. You can follow her and she’ll take you to work too!
My son invites me to eat cereal with him. I refuse because I want to lose weight to look beautiful. And he is sincerely surprised: — Mom, you should wear a neckless to be beautiful, not lose weight. This phrase became a motto at my work!
We went to the store and parked our car under a tree. While we were in the store, some birds who were hanging out in the tree left some “presents” on the roof and the hood of our car. Because of this, I had to go to the car wash. After washing it, my son looked at the car and said, — So, the birds are going to look at the car and say, “We did all the poop and it was all for nothing!”http://det.org.ru/?author=Panaramix
Dad: We should make our son try red caviar and we’ll let him watch cartoons in return. Let’s go to his room. Mom: Mark, do you want to watch cartoons for 15 minutes? Son, looking at both of us: What do I have to eat?http://det.org.ru/?author=Kassia
Daughter: Dad, don’t go. Please, don’t go! Me: I’m going to work. Daughter, grabbing me: Please, can I go with you? Me: What are you going to do there? This is my job! She screams: I will work too! Me, lost: What exactly will your job be? She, looking embarrassed: I will be... My dad’s sweetheart.
I’m doing my makeup before a party: eye shadow, mascara, lipstick...
My son: Mom, why are you drawing on your face? Me: To make myself very-very beautiful, honey. My son: It won’t help...
My daughter and I are playing in the bathroom. I’m a princess and she is a mermaid. She is going to marry the prince.
Me: Well, if I’m the princess, I’m supposed to marry the prince. She: So, what... I have to marry a diver?!
My 6-year-old son and I were looking at a scene where a 7-year-old girl was lying on the floor, begging her mother to buy something. My son asked me: — Mom, is she stupid? I said, — Yes, honey. The daughter’s mother yelled at me, “You’re stupid!” And my son said that now he knows that genes matter.
I decided to make this about our beloved pets; they enrich our lives, make us better people for caring for them, but I will never know if I do for them as much as they do for me!
Enjoy, and Happy Friday to our pets and us!
1.“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.” Colette
2.“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” Groucho Marx
3.“In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this.” Terry Pratchett
4.“If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.” Mark Twain
5.“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” Winston Churchill
6.“Time spent with cats is never wasted.” Sigmund Freud
7.“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” Charles de Gaulle
8.“To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you… They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.” Bill Bryson
9.“Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.” Eddie Izzard
10.“If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman’s pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.” George Bernard Shaw
11.“No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.” Kin Hubbard
12.“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?” Jerry Seinfeld