What you'll need to quit
A sleeveless shirt
A super loaded danish pastry (extra filling and icing.)
An UNOPENED pack of cigarettes.
Put the Danish and the unopened pack on a table and take a seat.
Pick up that sticky Danish with both hands and tear it in half.
Now, rub the Danish in your right hand in your left armpit and the Danish in your left hand in your right armpit.
Rubbing it in your armpits just guarantees your hands are plenty sticky.
(You can rub it in your hair if you prefer.)
Now, just try to open that pack. Stuck to your hands, eh?
Can't open it, eh? Wish your hands weren't covered with Danish, eh?
Wish you weren't stuck to the table when you tried to get up, eh?
Hey! If you manage to release yourself from the grip of the Danish, wash your hands, but don't dry them.
Wet cigarettes won't light or burn.
See? Right there are two ways to quit.
The Danish and the wettish.
Repeat as necessary.
Here's a Danish quit smoking ad for your examination.