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All Places > Laughter is the Best Medicine > Blog > 2018 > July
2018

What you'll need to quit

A sleeveless shirt

A super loaded danish pastry (extra filling and icing.)

An UNOPENED pack of cigarettes.

 

Instructions:

Put the Danish and the unopened pack on a table and take a seat.

Pick up that sticky Danish with both hands and tear it in half.

Now, rub the Danish in your right hand in your left armpit and the Danish in your left hand in your right armpit.

Rubbing it in your armpits just guarantees your hands are plenty sticky.

(You can rub it in your hair if you prefer.)

Now, just try to open that pack. Stuck to your hands, eh?

Can't open it, eh? Wish your hands weren't covered with Danish, eh?

Wish you weren't stuck to the table when you tried to get up, eh?

 

Hey! If you manage to release yourself from the grip of the Danish, wash your hands, but don't dry them.

Wet cigarettes won't light or burn.

 

See? Right there are two ways to quit.

The Danish and the wettish.

Repeat as necessary.

Here's a Danish quit smoking ad for your examination.

And I need some serious lift up my spirits, since my darn knee still hurts after a first shot, another one coming in a week from tomorrow (the shot, not a knee). 

Till then, the monsoon season is taking the toll on old or injured joints...

 

Let's smile a little, I figured, based on Missy's joke today, I'll target couples this time: 

Laugh away and Happy Friday!!!

Mandolinrain

Caught!

Posted by Mandolinrain Jul 26, 2018

A guys sitting in his easy chair reading the newspaper and his wife walks in and clunks him over the head with a frying pan.

 

He says to his wife

" Why the heck did you do that"?

 

She says

" I was doing your laundry and this slip of paper was in your pants pocket with the name 'MARYLOU' on it".

 

He says to his wife in response :

AW honey, thats from the racetrack. Marylou is the name of the horse I was betting on".

 

An hour or so later, the mans wife walks back into the room with an even bigger frying pan and cracks him again on the head.

 

The man jumps up and says :

"Now what was that all about"?

 

The wife glares at him and says:

" Your horse just called"

Jennifer-Quit-05-01-14 these are for you lady,  I hope they make you smile, and have a great weekend!!!

Hi, woke up this morning, as I was coming downstairs my first thought was for a cigarette.  I was able to shake it off and go and get my coffee and water.  I had a couple of cravings, but made it through.  At last I am doing this.

Went outside to check the weather, sitting outside and drinking my water with no desire to ruin it by smoking.

There is hope for me yet!!!

So does the person tailgating me.

Daniela-3-11-2016

Need a smile?

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Jul 6, 2018

NOTE: some of the pictures might create fear of the future, please understand we are all going in the same direction...

 

 

And then something to look forward too!!!

 

HAPPY FRIDAY ALL!