broken hearted

Blog Post created by indingrl.01.06.2011 on Nov 27, 2017

When I was 3 months nicotine free in 2011.....SUDDENLY MY WORLD SHATTERED......I received news that my brother in love was killed by a drunk driver.... A DRUNK DRIVER how ironic for I am a recovering alcoholic by but for the grace of God go sister asked me to speak at the grave site by reading a Native American Prayer her husband love....only by Gods grace was I able to make the first time travel driving without smoking like a chimney....FIRST THINGS FIRST....newly recovering from nicotine what did they suggest for ME to do....THINK...THINK...THINK....I came here in 2011 and BLOGGED FIRST before I used nicotine of this storm..... that just broke my heart...I blogged and got tons of suggestions...what to pray.... what  to do.....what to read...what to snack on...what to drink......what to bring...and most of all to stay in contact with this site...whenever I needed to blog to vent and just whine.....complain of life sucking at moments and all the emotions that were coming and going so tears that were burning my cheeks and then dry eye for I had no more tears to cry......or yell a blog out of my broken heart with all my mixed emotions for I wasn't here for a popularity contest I was here to save my nicotine FREE life...I was taught to breathe through the emotions and pray through the mind thoughts that tried to sort out the old thoughts weave of snakes to take me to use nicotine during a broken heart from my past and the new way of thinking blog first before you use nicotine over you...I choice to pray and blog and do as was suggested so I will remain staying quit no matter what I thought or felt and I  thought I will never get pass this horrible....broken heart and powerlessness to save my sister from her intimate loss to save her from the pain of loss and the aloneness she must face thank you all for being there for me in 2011 and still today 2017 when TODAY one of my beloved friends heart is broken by life tearing one of his loves out of his arms SUDDENLY..... So I share my experience in my NEWBIE recovery from nicotine life at 3 months nicotine free...3 MONTHS!!! I was taught by those with YEARS of nicotine freedom and experience that it is possible to deal with life on life's terms knowing I am not alone and a lot of people suffer losses and do not escape and use nicotine to die.....they shared with me how the came here and shared the loss to receive the love that was given to them freely.....they blogged and shared the hurt and their broken hearts to help that is suffering worse because they only know using nicotine to escape their broken heart.....but for the grace of God go I and I thank God for his gift of love all of you who got me through in 2011 and who get me through today.....A gentle hug to all who are suffering loss of loved ones during this time of the silly seasons in life or just in life on life's terms....poop happens..... when it suddenly tries to pull you back to using nicotine instead of blog and share....CHOICES.... in the deepest of broken ask God to rise above and to think of others in Jesus name amen.