Two years is inching up on me for being quit. Another few months and it has finally arrived. A lot of people ask me why I am even active on the site at this point. I should be past that by now. I shouldn't be needing support any longer. After all, it's been almost two years. You don't get paid for doing this. Why do you go on there every single morning and sometimes many times during the day?
The simple answer to that is because I need to give back. If I can write one thing that rings true with someone or helps them in this journey, that's my goal. I need to follow in the footsteps of all of those that have helped me along the way. Many have still remained that helped me move forward. Some have disappeared from the site. Some have gone back to smoking. Some have started and stopped and started back on their quits. I wonder to myself if that's because they thought there was a badge that you earned, a course you completed and you're done. You're cured.
I think when it finally got easier for me is when I realized that this is a lifestyle change I had to make. This is something I will have to live with and comes to terms with. It doesn't go away in a week or a month. It doesn't go away by only taking a pill. It's something I will deal with for the rest of my life. I'm just one of those people in America that has a problem with nicotine, the ultimate rush. Some have problems with gambling, drugs, alcohol, but really does it come down to simply replacing something in our lives that we need to change or hide? Or is it simply that we are impulsive, craving to be one of the crowd or we're just looking for something to make us feel good, that hit of dopamine?
I don't have to consume massive quantities of caffeine any longer to get going in the morning chain smoking one cigarette after the other. I've discovered many personality traits that smoking covered up, some good and some bad. Once the smoke finally cleared, the dust settled, and everything fell into place, this new life has been a very interesting ride. It's nice not to be tied to a lighter any longer, always searched to see if I have enough to last the day because I didn't want to go the store and blow money again.
It's always a beautiful sunrise as well as a beautiful sunset. Hang in there, stick with it. Be selfish and learn about yourself. Discover what you used smoking for. Take the initiative to find something to replace it with. Make a commitment, dig your heels in. For some people visiting Celebrations & Events every day and pledging in the morning not to smoke and yelling out your days of freedom on the Freedom Train every night helps. Give it a try. Find what works for you. The important thing is to never give up and never give in. You never know what you may find....