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Become

The name of this Website is BecomeanEX. At first I didn't get it. I thought it was just another name because nobody could think of a better one. 

Now, I believe there was a ton of science behind this name: Become an EX!

Becoming is a process!

It doesn't happen in one day or with one decision. It happens with perseverance, persistence, and willingness to become but also a vision. In order to become we make a clear image of what we are aiming to become - giving us a direction, a goal and end game. Otherwise how do you know where you're going?

This may be confusing to a Nicotine Addict - because they still look at what they're giving up - they sometimes don't see where they're going but it's vital to your success to envision where you're going and what it will look like once you get there! Your vision may not be perfect or play out exactly the way you expect but it is your Road Map!

Now that you know what you think EX-Smoker looks like - how it feels, how it lives - the next step is to Fake-it-till-you-make-it! It's uncomfortable, it feels dishonest, it's foreign - outside of my comfort zone! Even professionals who get a promotion go through this stage of becoming. They feel like a fraud, a phony, an imposter and hold their breath that they aren't discovered! But this is the transition of becoming! So when you're in No-Man's-Land expect to feel uncomfortable, recognize that it is normal, and just keep going!

Now comes the next stage, believe! You don't just wake up one day and think, "I believe I'm an EXer!" It's hard work! You may or may not experience belief as a light bulb moment. Or you may just slowly realize that you're not faking anymore - you really are that person you created in your mind all those days ago. Well, maybe not exactly - in some ways you're even better than that image! But you have definitely arrived! Belief is taking a step into the unknown. There will be questions: "How do I know I will like the person I am becoming?" There comes a time when you mentally shift  your thinking knowing that I am the Master of my own Destiny! The decisions I make every single moment of every single day define who I am - and Our Creator gave us mere humans the right and FREE will to decide! Decision is one of the many things we willingly gave away to our Addiction. Now we reclaim it for ourselves! Decision is the ultimate Personal Power! 

You have become!

It all sounds so linear but it isn't!  Every single day of Recovery, every shift in our mentality creates a new vision, a new process of adjusting our fake-it-till-you-make-it, a new illumination of, "I get it!", a new belief in the possible! A new reaching out to fulfill our God given potential - to become the best me I can imagine. That's the process and it gloriously never ends! Becoming is such a powerful word! Subtly it's loaded with all of these messages and even more. This just represents what - so far - I have been able to capture after 7 1/2 Years of Becoming an EX! I look forward with enthusiasm to discovering even more secrets to becoming! I pray that this process will last a lifetime! In fact, I believe it will! I wouldn't have it any other way!

Become anEX!

Tags (1)
14 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

Wow, Thomas, just WOW!

I think you may have outdone yourself with this one!  Kudos!

Nancy

Mortalzeus
Member

"Becoming is a Process"  Beautiful and so True!

Darren

Daniela2016
Member

Thank you Thomas, it feels right now that you spelled it out for me!  I did not recognize the steps, I came here while in NML; all I knew at that time was that I wanted to accumulate the DOFs to get out of that uncertain, sensitive, risky land... And once I did, I thought to myself: "Yes, look at me, I made it, I am an EX", well...not so fast.  I am still becoming one, after 568 DOFs I am still building to that status of being an EX.  But you know what?  I don't mind it, while I am still becoming one, I feel compelled to come back here, share, learn, smile and cry, for me, or my partners here, and it is all part of the becoming.  I like becoming...

ahkhippiechic
Member

That there is some beautiful writing.  Thank you!  Good direction and wisdom !  Groovy...

JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Another great blog.  Thank you for an EXcellent guide on how to become!

elvan
Member

I AM becoming the person I was supposed to be, I was supposed to learn to deal with life without becoming an addict.  At times, I actually prayed for my free will to be removed...just for a while, until I felt a little stronger.

This is a magnificent blog, Thomas.  Truly magnificent.

Ellen

MarilynH
Member

Wow Thomas, beautiful I'm so happy that I found this Ex community and educated myself by reading everything I could about quitting smoking and Remaining Quit and meeting everyone here which helped to strengthen my resolve to stay smokefree and continue living a life of Freedom and it's the best thing I've ever done besides bringing my children into the world is  become an EX!  Thanks Thomas for another awe inspiring blog post, life just keeps getting better and better as an Ex Smoker.

Giulia
Member

Never ever thought of the name of this website in those terms.  You have made so many light bulbs go off for me in my head over the years I've "known you."  And they just never stop coming.  What a blessing you are to this place, Thomas.  Thank you for your constancy here.