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I just read a post from Ron from 2002 and 

No Mans Land Days 30 to 130 (approximate)


The following is a link to a study that confirms the extra strong cues to smoke after the first month quit and into the next few months. 

Also yesterday, 11/19/19 I read an article from LA Times 

Juul took a page from Big Tobacco to revolutionize vaping - Los Angeles Times 

Not sure if the link works, but it's there. What i am trying to do is to educate myself about how I got hooked as a kid. 

"A review by the Los Angeles Times of more than 3,000 pages of internal Juul records, obtained by the Food and Drug Administration and released to a researcher through the Freedom of Information Act, found that the concept behind the formula that makes Juul so palatable and addictive dates back more than four decades — to Reynolds’ laboratories".

Anyway, long story short, what ever I am addicted it, it is an addiction, and it is prudent for me to read as much as possible on it. So if anyone can share any other resources, I would appreciate it. Thank you

      This post is intended for you to share what you are going through right when you see it, whether a week or 5 years from now.  Whether you're having a good day or you wanna run away.

      Go ahead, try it out. I guarantee people will respond to you and give you something you need at the time.



     Today I'm taking the day off. I did a little cooking. There were things I could have done that will keep for tomorrow and, if I died tonight, what do those things matter?

We have someone interested in leasing the upstairs. Keeping our fingers crossed.

I'm still waiting to schedule a cat scan.

I've been writing lyrics sporadically the past week.

      When you have medical decisions you occasionally realize you aren't as close to life as you are to death.  My dad has always been amazed at how happy I remain after everything I've been through. Life is a gift. 

      I believe my love for life comes through creativity. I believe we all have gifts.

Find them. Use them. Be Happy.

         How's your life today?

There are a number of ways to deal with it.

You don't want to magnify it.  That only makes you want to smoke more.


1 Realize it will typically last a few minutes and ride it out. 


2 Detach yourself by stepping outside that focus and realizing it's all in your mind and snap out of it.


3 You can jump up and down on some twinkies (if you can find any) screaming "why have you left me?"


4 You can bite into a lemon, skin and all, stick your head in a freezer and breathe the cold air, Run in place, Splash water on your face, eat a bug, clean your rug, give someone you love a hug.


5 Put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it as a reminder. (not too hard, it's only meant to sting a little)


6 Let an ice cube melt in your mouth.


7 Laughing out loud may draw a crowd but it will shoo that crave right out.


Fortunately the reminders of smoking fade away but, it takes time.

You can make them leave you alone quicker by using self talk.

Say "I don't do that anymore" every time you get a crave.


You didn't smoke for a week or a month did you?

YOU SMOKED FOR YEARS, RIGHT? So give it time. Time distances you from your ties to smoking. 


please add what is working for you to the list AND


if you feel like you are being overtaken?

Come here and post the word HELP and wait for responses.

Remember that first day that you really entertained the idea of quitting? If you’re like me, the main thing noticed on that day was an intense and in reality, unfocused fear just at the thought of it. A kind of shudder in the deepest parts of our very beings. And from that feeling, we usually hit a wall for a while. I mean to an addict, the idea of giving up the main thing that that our entire life revolves around is perceived as an impossible task, and it takes a bit of time to turn that thought into a reality.


The thing is all we had to do was THINK about quitting and  suddenly there it was. The first experience with the internal argument. The moment I thought about quitting, it was like I’d just turned my entire world upside down! I didn’t even notice that argument in the background at first simply because I still smoked. Simply because once again, I hadn’t yet acted on the thought.


A few days later, when I’d finally convinced myself that I was going to do this and picked a date and started tracking my cigarettes, the infamous internal argument became more intense. When I decided that I was no longer going to smoke when I drove (one of my biggest triggers), the voice began telling me how hard it would be to concentrate and the voice was correct because rather than thinking about my driving, I was listening to this maddening internal voice telling me that something was wrong. Something was missing.


This was the first time I began listening to that voice, and it appeared to actually be a kind of whisper always in the background and at the same time it seemed to be more of an impulse then a thought. I looked deeper and realised that I was the one giving these impulses a voice. That I was deciphering them into the internal argument that we all feel. I think it was how my mind made sense of these impulses. By giving them a voice.


Over time, I found that conversing with this voice was a good way to get the impulses or urges to stop, or at least to lesson in intensity. I named these impulses the addict within and when those urges were the strongest and I could focus on what I saw as a screaming toddler throwing a temper tantrum, they seemed to become less intense.


And there were times when I used visualization to see my journey as something tangible. Something with a defined beginning and end. As many of you already know, I called that journey Mt. Freedom. Also over the course of my quit, I learned to assess my mood upon waking and if my mood wasn’t the most productive for the coming day, I’d close my eyes again and use visualization to go to a quiet place of my own creation. And this is something I still use to this day to keep my day a positive one.


There were so many changes that I had make both internally and externally in order to change my life for the better and you know what? I still use all of these things every day of my life! My preparation was much more than preparing to quit. It was also preparing to live a new life.


This is why I’ve always considered those first days. Those learning days; days of wonder. I know if you’re in the middle of a quit, you might not see these first hard days as days of wonder but you will!


As the addiction calms within our minds and we begin to see the incredible and positive changes to our world. When we can look back at what we’ve created and achieved without fear of relapse. This is when we can see that our quit was indeed an incredible journey experienced in all levels of our psych. This is when we can see that what we chose to do on that first day would end up creating so much more within us that we get to keep forever!


So the next time you feel like this is all a waste of time. The next time that you think that quitting is just to hard. Try to remember that change can be amazing! And yes life can be wonderful! All it takes is a desire to see it, to experience it. To dream it and fight for it!


And when it’s all over and you can look back with a confident smile on your face. That’s when you’ll know that those first hard days really were wonderful.


Fight on my friends! Fight on! I know it’s worth it and it won’t be long before you know it too . . .






A Few Points

Posted by Mike.n.Atlanta Nov 27, 2018

I feel the need to post these few points.


  1. Understand your addiction. Education is key to everyone’s success here. Don’t try to cut corners. This is your life we’re talking about. Your very survival depends on your knowing.
  2. Use this support system. Your brothers and sisters at Ex want nothing more than for you to succeed. Read and post. We help ourselves by helping others.
  3. One puff, one cigarette or feeling that you can control it after a short quit is still smoking. One cigarette turns to two and two turns into a thousand. You can’t control smoking but you can control your addiction just by practicing NOPE. Not One Puff Ever.
  4. This is a process not a procedure. A procedure has a beginning and an end. This process is an ongoing learning and growing event. Be patient and take it one day at a time.
  5. Make a sincere commitment to your quit. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t feel ready so make the most of it and give it a chance. Too many are looking for that magic bullet that will let them stay quit for a lifetime without any discomfort. Guess what…it doesn’t exist. Do the work, feel the pain and be rewarded.
  6. There is never a valid reason to smoke. There are excuses but they’re pretty lame and if you get right down to it that’s all they are…excuses. Smoking will do nothing to improve any crisis that is in your life.
  7. Get serious about your quit. This IS a matter of life or death.



Happy but Sad!

Posted by Sandy-9-17-17 Jul 30, 2018

I had a heads up phone call last night, and it made me feel rather sad, but still happy to be heading off to Florida for a trip I earned from not smoking and saving over $1,600 this coming weekend.

My ex sister in law, let's just call her my sister, as she was so much more my sister then my brother who mistreated her when they were together....called me to give me the heads up on her now spouse!  Here I am bragging to her that I quit smoking, and she calls to tell me that he has been struggling and has now taken up smoking!  She was calling to give me the heads up as she doesn't want me to be in shock when I get there.  And I would have been, because I have never known him to smoke.  Well, I learned that he is like me when I was a smoker, he is considerate, and walks away as he doesn't want anyone who does not smoke to have to smell it.  I know that I will be fine, smoking is not an option for me, not now or ever!  But I feel for him, and will always hope he finds his way back to being a non smoker!  


Newbie Advice

Posted by Thomas3.20.2010 Jul 5, 2018

We have a saying here that I first heard from my friend indingrl.01.06.2011

Take what you like

And leave the rest...

to be helpful is our only goal!


We don't all agree, In fact we agreeably disagree on many, many things.

For example: once an addict always an addict.

Or you have to want to quit for it to work. 

Or NRTs vs. Cold Turkey vs. Smart Turkey.

Take your time to learn before you quit

vs. Quit Today! And fill your quit time with knowledge.

Commiserate with a relapser vs. Tough Love.


Well, this is just a small sample of how we each have our own opinions. And I can understand how this might be confusing to a newbie but in actuality, it's this diversity that makes our Community so dynamic!


The final word is yours! It's your Quit Journey. It's your LIFE! It's your Recovery - which means reclaiming yourself and starts out by not following anybody else's opinion more than your Own! By listening to various points of view you know what your options are. I have a saying - if you don't know that you have a choice - well, you don't! This diversity gives you choices!


Own your Quit! 


Talk the Talk

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Jun 4, 2018

The constant #1 question in our mind when we first quit is how long will the thought of smoking last. Sometimes the thoughts can be so strong you can actually see and feel that little man on the shoulder.  I know I did.  I had to knock him off a couple of times.  Literally.   When is this going to end?  Some sooner than others but the constant pull can be agonizing.  I was amazed how the addictive brain can really pull to make you think you have to have a cigarette.  I use to tell myself that every day 10 times a day for over 40 years, so that thought was ingrained until I learned to reprogram it.  I learned to debunk that thought by using self-talk.  Often I would tell myself  "no I do not need or have to have a cigarette".  Committing and making a vow to not touch another cigarette will help.  When you take the option to smoke off the table you obligate yourself to do something other than smoke when the urge comes.  It is not easy but it can be done if you plan and prepare to protect your quit. 

You will often hear "this too shall pass".  In order for it to pass you have to be willing to get through it  by any means necessary.  If you have to scream...SCREAM!!!   We are no different from any other drug addict going through withdrawal.  Say NO! out loud. Holler if you have to get through it.   Are you going to talk the talk so you can walk the walk.   Create your own mantra that you can relate to.  Mine was "not in my hands, not on my lips, not on my tongue, not in my lungs, not in my throat, I will not choke".  I had my mind made up. I was not turning back. Tell yourself Yes I can, Stop saying and thinking I can't.  If necessary change the people, places, and things. 

A wise elder once told me not to be "too" confident in the quit.  It is great to be confident but don’t become complacent and think that you are not vulnerable.  Stay connected.  If you have a problem, come here first.  Be willing to take some advice before you relapse.  Be persistent, determined to persevere, no matter what NOPE. Not one puff ever.  Don’t be tricked by that little guy on the shoulder telling you that "just one" is okay.  One puff will do you IN and END a perfect quit.  Quitting is the easy part.  Staying quit is the work.  Use self-talk, it works.  

I copied this in the early days of my quit and thought it might be helpful to the newbies on the site.  The document was noted as written by Nancy Smith.

Nicotine's chemical properties are addictive. If you take that nicotine away from your body, it will miss it and you will experience physical and mental withdrawal symptoms.

These symptoms surface after three-five days of quitting smoking and linger for approximately two weeks. We list out some of these symptoms to help you prepare for these side-effects to smoking cessation. Rest assured that these symptoms, while some are unpleasant, will only be transitory and once you're rid of them, will leave you feeling much better after quitting smoking.

Emotional withdrawal
Depression: You may feel low, sad and hopeless. Hence,  it is important to surround yourself with people, preferably non smokers and friends who support your decision to quit smoking.
Anger: Emotional upheaval can make you angry. Others may not be aware of it, but you know what's happening to your body. The age-old remedy of counting to10 isn't such a bad idea. Stop, think, regain your calm and composure before losing your cool.
Boredom: You may have noticed that when you were bored, tired or depressed you tend to smoke. Now that you are on your way to a smoke free life replace these voids with hobbies or get involved with people around you. Pay more attention to your loved ones.
Loneliness: Withdrawal of smoking can make you feel lonely, impatient and irritable. If your friends are busy, take up a dance class or cooking class. It is important to expect these feelings of loneliness, so stay prepared.
Mood swing: Tempers will flare and tantrums will increase. These are not exactly PMS symptoms. Nicotine was once your evil friend but now you have to bear with the loss of the addiction. This will throw your emotional reactions to daily happenings into a tizzy. Most quitters will need help with these mood swings. Replace the smoking placebo with something else. Invest in some great music and strong coffee, maybe?

Physical withdrawal
Nicotine obstructs the flow of oxygen and nutrients to various parts of the body. Now that you have quit smoking, your body has to hit the reverse button to detox.
Bowel discomfort: It's time to change your diet and fitness once you quit smoking. Quitting smoking can cause cramps nausea, flatulence and constipation, therefore it is important to increase roughage and exercise your body.
Nasal and throat problems: When you stop smoking, your nose and throat will try to clear the mucous that has accumulated over the years. You may experience coughing, dry throat and mouth. Fluids are the key to clearing this process.
Increase in appetite: Craving for cigarettes can be confused with hunger cravings. The best way to stay healthy is to consume fluids and low calorie snacks.

Headaches: Lack of nicotine can lead to headaches, the way out of it is with massages, plenty of water and rest. Gently massage your temple, drink water, take a hot shower and take a deep breath.

Lack of sleep: You may experience insomnia after you quit smoking. Take a hot shower before you hit the sack, do breathing exercises too and most importantly avoid caffeine close to bed-time

Restlessness/lack of concentration: You feel like there is energy bursting in you; transfer this energy into something constructive. In these situations smokes would calm your nerves, but now switch off that thought and cultivate a new habit. You may feel you can't concentrate too; try listening to music or take a break from your routine life.
Weight gain: Increase in craving can lead to weight gain, especially if you indulge in unhealthy food. But don't be dejected, you can cut it out with exercise and the right diet.

Sweating and shaky hands and feet: You will feel that your hands and feet tremble. It is a passing phase that will stop. If you experience these withdrawals you know your body is simply shedding an addiction and leading you to a much healthier life.
Skin trouble: While quitting smoking is associated with healthier skin, the period of withdrawal will cause some skin trouble. Some people with sensitive skin might break out into a fresh acne case or suffer from some ulcers in the inner-cheeks, tongue and mouth. The reason is simply that your body is letting go of the toxins and leveling up.

Instead of losing motivation after reading these withdrawal symptoms, the one thought any quitter must focus on is this: The fact that your body is changing so much when quitting, simply showcases how much it is continuously changed and affected while you still smoke. Avoid poor health and dangerous diseases - stay quit!


I've said it before but it needs said again

You put holes in your armor each time you give in.

Don't Burn it! Don't Do It!

Come Here And Let Us

Talk You Through It.

*we'll get an email and normally get right with you.


There was once a time when I was beyond being a smoker. When I was beyond ever finding a way out of my addiction. A time when I was totally confident in the lies that I told myself. I was more hooked than any other person in the world was!


LOL. I think we all thought that when we first decided it was time to quit. But the bottom line is that so many have found their way through the cloud of addiction to the freedom that lies on the other side. Really, it’s hard to believe that so many of us who quit so long ago could ever have been as addicted as you.


But we were. We all believed the lies of addiction, mostly because we wanted to. It was just so much easier than the alternative of quitting, right? I mean, why would we want to take away what has become the most important facet of our lives? Why would we want to feel the tension and confusion that comes with a quit if we don’t have to?


But then comes that day when we look on the other side of the coin. The day that we understand that the thing we love most is killing us. For me, the fear that I felt the moment I thought I might actually quit was incredibly strong. I was shaking and had sweats just from thinking that I might actually quit.


But once I got over that, I decided that if I was going to do this, I was going to spend every waking moment preparing to succeed. But what to do? How to start? I really was confused and the addict within had no intention of making this easy.


But over time, I found ways to ignore the fear so that I could learn about what I decided was my number one enemy in this fight. My number one enemy was myself and my own addicted thoughts. I had to get past all of the years of lying to myself. I had to get past the fact that my addiction had woven itself into the very fabric of my being. I had to get past the fear of change and I had to find a way to convince myself that I wanted freedom more than I wanted a slow, agonizing death.


It takes time to get the mind where it needs to be. It takes time to learn all about how we interact with the addiction. But it’s time well spent.


All I can say is that the happiest day of my life was the day I put out the last cigarette well over six years ago. The day that I peered through the cloud of addiction and saw the world the way it really was for the first time in a long time. And I never looked back!


My point is that though the fight may seem hard, it’s still a fight that’s doable. The hard part is that it takes time. And it takes commitment. And it takes a love for life and freedom! Always look ahead to the freedom that awaits you!


Learn all you can about yourself and seek the advice of others because one thing’s certain. It’s a fight that’s better fought with others, even if those others are on line, for when it comes to the heart there really is no distance. That’s one of the things that makes EX so wonderful. We can come here with our fears and share them to perhaps make them a little easier. We can learn all that others had to learn on their own journeys. We can feel like the world is collapsing around us because we feel so strange when we start the quit. But that’s OK. We’ve all been there and understand.


So never think you have to be alone. Never believe for even a moment that you cannot take your life back. It’s within you, just like it was within all of us. It starts out as a single thought and with a little nurturing becomes a full fledged quit.


Go for it!! There’s so much waiting for you, if you can just take that first step. The freedom awaits you and it’s worth every bit of discomfort that it takes to get there. Stay true to yourself and before long you’ll be smiling a smile like you've never smiled before, for you will be smiling a smile that can only come from freedom!!







Posted by Thomas3.20.2010 Sep 30, 2017

The name of this Website is BecomeanEX. At first I didn't get it. I thought it was just another name because nobody could think of a better one. 

Now, I believe there was a ton of science behind this name: Become an EX!

Becoming is a process!

It doesn't happen in one day or with one decision. It happens with perseverance, persistence, and willingness to become but also a vision. In order to become we make a clear image of what we are aiming to become - giving us a direction, a goal and end game. Otherwise how do you know where you're going?

This may be confusing to a Nicotine Addict - because they still look at what they're giving up - they sometimes don't see where they're going but it's vital to your success to envision where you're going and what it will look like once you get there! Your vision may not be perfect or play out exactly the way you expect but it is your Road Map!

Now that you know what you think EX-Smoker looks like - how it feels, how it lives - the next step is to Fake-it-till-you-make-it! It's uncomfortable, it feels dishonest, it's foreign - outside of my comfort zone! Even professionals who get a promotion go through this stage of becoming. They feel like a fraud, a phony, an imposter and hold their breath that they aren't discovered! But this is the transition of becoming! So when you're in No-Man's-Land expect to feel uncomfortable, recognize that it is normal, and just keep going!

Now comes the next stage, believe! You don't just wake up one day and think, "I believe I'm an EXer!" It's hard work! You may or may not experience belief as a light bulb moment. Or you may just slowly realize that you're not faking anymore - you really are that person you created in your mind all those days ago. Well, maybe not exactly - in some ways you're even better than that image! But you have definitely arrived! Belief is taking a step into the unknown. There will be questions: "How do I know I will like the person I am becoming?" There comes a time when you mentally shift  your thinking knowing that I am the Master of my own Destiny! The decisions I make every single moment of every single day define who I am - and Our Creator gave us mere humans the right and FREE will to decide! Decision is one of the many things we willingly gave away to our Addiction. Now we reclaim it for ourselves! Decision is the ultimate Personal Power! 

You have become!

It all sounds so linear but it isn't!  Every single day of Recovery, every shift in our mentality creates a new vision, a new process of adjusting our fake-it-till-you-make-it, a new illumination of, "I get it!", a new belief in the possible! A new reaching out to fulfill our God given potential - to become the best me I can imagine. That's the process and it gloriously never ends! Becoming is such a powerful word! Subtly it's loaded with all of these messages and even more. This just represents what - so far - I have been able to capture after 7 1/2 Years of Becoming an EX! I look forward with enthusiasm to discovering even more secrets to becoming! I pray that this process will last a lifetime! In fact, I believe it will! I wouldn't have it any other way!

Become anEX!


A Slip is not a Fall

Posted by rollercoaster831 Champion Sep 20, 2017

This for anyone who may be struggling with one smoke on a great quit.


There once was a man.  He walked for 90 days.  He walked hills and valleys. He crossed oceans and deserts.  He helped many people and many people helped him.  As he was trudging along, he was collecting stones.  He planned on using these stones to build a house.  He found a lot of stones.  He knew exactly how many stones he needed to build his house.  


After walking for 80 days this man came upon a bridge. Under this bridge there lived an evil troll.  The troll did everything he could to make the man fall into the water.  The man held on to the railings with all his might and didn't fall in!  But the troll did manage to cause the man to slip.  When he slipped, he lost a stone.  Just one, mind you.  It fell in to the water.  Lost forever.  The man was frantic.  He was so upset with himself!  How on earth could he build his house without that stone?  He just didn't think the other 4,074 stones mattered without the one he lost!


He started walking again, despondent and alone.  For 10 more days, the man walked.  Ten days.  During that time he considered dropping all the stones, one at a time.  But something made the man hold on.  Those stones had cost him too much to accumulate.  He thought of those first days when the hills were steepest and the oceans widest.  He had worked so hard to accomplish this gathering of stones.  But still, the loss of that one stone caused him so much despair that he couldn't see the amazing thing he had accomplished!


90 days after the man first set out, he came across a group of his friends.  These friends helped him to see many things about his stones.  Each stone had its own value. Each one was important in its own right.  If he had had to pay for these stone, they would have cost him $869...the one he lost was less than 22 cents.  That meant he was 99.9876% successful!!


Do you know what that man did?  He set to work trying to figure out how he could make his house without that one stone!  He decided to just leave it out of one of the walls!  The absence of that one stone meant the man had a window to see through!  Oh, and the things he could see!  The opportunities he now has!


If you look carefully, you can see him now leaning out his window and talking to his friends. Without one stone, you can still build a pretty strong damn house and sometimes it even let's you see things you never would have noticed.

I would have chosen a walk in the park instead of a smoke

I would have ignored my bullying smoking Uni colleagues instead of picking one up so I can fit in

I would have chosen to dip my feet in the waves instead of looking for a hidden place at the beach

I would have ignored my smoking family when I first quit instead of giving in to their making fun of me

I would have looked up to my non-smoking parents instead of judging them as the “old generation”

I would not have started instead of having to quit

I would have not picked one up after 6 months of being sober and had to smoke 15 more years before I quit

But now I know, if I want to remain an Ex, Ex thought me it is as simple as…








Dear Cigarettes -

Posted by stephanie1067 May 27, 2017

Dear Cigarettes - 


You were my first love when I was 17.  Very quickly after our first couple of dates, I became addicted to you.  I actually, as a young girl, felt sexy with you and loved having you by my side and in my company.  You gave me confidence at first and and made me feel mature.  I loved how you felt between my fingers and the rush you would give me after being apart for a short time.  It seemed like so many of my friends and family were in similar relationships and they were all fine.  What was good for my grandparents and my father and my best friends was certainly good for me also. So I became more and more attached as we spend more time together.  I had to have you the minute I woke up, every time I got in the car or on the phone, we spent time together after meals and enjoyed each others company during the relaxing quiet of the evening.  We became the best of lovers, or so I thought......


Fairly quickly into this relationship, I must say, I began to feel that you were not right for me.  I'm not sure why it has taken me 30 plus years to be honest with you about this.  I have hung on for so long but felt more and more like an outcast for being with you as time went on.  Having to sneak away to be with you when others have the freedom of just staying put.  Having to rush out on a dinner or a visit or meaningful time spent with my kids. You have taken over my mind and I can't enjoy a movie or a vacation or a trip to the zoo or the park or anything wonderful without wondering when we can be together again and how long I can last without you.  I feel like my mental health suffers from being with you because I am in a constant state of worry each time we're together.  Will I have a heart attack?  Will I develop cancer?  Will I end up on oxygen not being able to breath?  What color are my lungs?  What is that little pain I have today in my back or yesterday in my chest?  I have seen you take the life a my aunt and my best friends sister.  I have realized that my kids viewing me in hospice on my death bed is NOT something I am willing to put up with for being in a relationship with you. 


It has been very hard the past 13 days that we have been separated.  I have mourned you and felt alone and quiet and nervous and anxious.  I have cried and complained and become depressed.  But then I have also caught myself smiling at something and realizing I will be happy again.  It's like being reborn and learning happiness will still exist without you.  Life will go on and be better with out you and be a lot longer without you.  I have felt jealous of seeing others get to be with you until I realized you are just easy and will go with anyone and I bet my lungs are looking a lot healthier than theirs.  So I am here to tell you I am taking this separation to the next level and dumping you for good and forever!


This is where I say good bye!



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