Blog Post created by indingrl.01.06.2011 on Sep 13, 2020

I have been practicing drawing the head of brown hawk for MY daughter Jaime - she asked ME in September and in 2 attempts from on line utube art teacher - today I am sharing MY artwork with Y'ALL - I am very grateful for MY Daddy Gods grace - to allow ME to draw now and enjoying MY NON SMOKER LIFESTYLE with learning NEW art with lead pencils and now with the brown pencil and utube has art teachers on line willing to teacher for FREE


 I got frustrated because - I am dealing with enjoying MY God given talent ONE drawing at a time -  without living backwards in MY thoughts as I draw  - these twisted thoughts about living in MY past with victim perfectionism and twisted hurts from other's ignorant remarks to ME as I was growing up age 14 year's old trying to draw - these ugly remarks come back - suddenly and very subtly - FYI - I worked through these issues in professional therapy 1988 -  yet in 2020 - some memories seem to HIT ME - out of no where and I must STOP and think -  what I am thinking about - I remember OLD addict victim feeling thinking -  before NICOTINE recovery -  I would just cope with this crap victim feeling memory thinking by SUCKING ON 3 PACKS OF DEATH STICKS a day and TODAY - SINAO - SmokingIsNotAnOption - N.O.P.E. - NotOnePuffEver over ME -  I pray in MY Lord Jesus name and ask MY Holy Spirit for help and to teach ME - to regroup - and stay in this DAY ONLY - in the NOW moment - with a clear positive thinking about MY drawing at age 63 years young and say to MYSELF - NO ONE IS PERFECT ONLY MY LORD JESUS - your progressing nicely and then - I wait and practice another day


 This is MY 2nd attempt at brown pencil drawing - this one is better concentration on September 12th - the one above this is one is the 1st attempt at drawing with brown pencil on September 9th utube teacher calls the lesson a brown hawk head perspective drawing  -  I was praying and asking for MY next attempt at drawing this hawk head - maybe later this month - to draw more intimate details - and maybe deeper shading here and there and then draw finer feather touches here and there - no worries I will share FINAL drawing here when finished - thanks for letting ME share