I have been practicing drawing the head of brown hawk for MY daughter Jaime - she asked ME in September and in 2 attempts from on line utube art teacher - today I am sharing MY artwork with Y'ALL - I am very grateful for MY Daddy Gods grace - to allow ME to draw now and enjoying MY NON SMOKER LIFESTYLE with learning NEW art with lead pencils and now with the brown pencil and utube has art teachers on line willing to teacher for FREE
I got frustrated because - I am dealing with enjoying MY God given talent ONE drawing at a time - without living backwards in MY thoughts as I draw - these twisted thoughts about living in MY past with victim perfectionism and twisted hurts from other's ignorant remarks to ME as I was growing up age 14 year's old trying to draw - these ugly remarks come back - suddenly and very subtly - FYI - I worked through these issues in professional therapy 1988 - yet in 2020 - some memories seem to HIT ME - out of no where and I must STOP and think - what I am thinking about - I remember OLD addict victim feeling thinking - before NICOTINE recovery - I would just cope with this crap victim feeling memory thinking by SUCKING ON 3 PACKS OF DEATH STICKS a day and TODAY - SINAO - SmokingIsNotAnOption - N.O.P.E. - NotOnePuffEver over ME - I pray in MY Lord Jesus name and ask MY Holy Spirit for help and to teach ME - to regroup - and stay in this DAY ONLY - in the NOW moment - with a clear positive thinking about MY drawing at age 63 years young and say to MYSELF - NO ONE IS PERFECT ONLY MY LORD JESUS - your progressing nicely and then - I wait and practice another day
This is MY 2nd attempt at brown pencil drawing - this one is better concentration on September 12th - the one above this is one is the 1st attempt at drawing with brown pencil on September 9th utube teacher calls the lesson a brown hawk head perspective drawing - I was praying and asking for MY next attempt at drawing this hawk head - maybe later this month - to draw more intimate details - and maybe deeper shading here and there and then draw finer feather touches here and there - no worries I will share FINAL drawing here when finished - thanks for letting ME share
TODAY - please I am talking about ME not anyone else - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - TODAY - I draw with joy and I am ok to be full of nervousness and kindness and excitement - to draw where I NEVER drew before - MY 1st wolf EVER pencil drawing - TADAH - I am living as a NON SMOKER and I had to LEARN to let go and remain open minded to learn NEW habits to DO with MY hands - I am drawing with different lead pencils and ONLY by God's grace - I started this wolf drawing and also tried calligraphy too - in July 2020 - MY daughter Courtney asked ME to draw her a wolf and I finally finished it TODAY - I love when I finish - I wanted to SHARE this wolf drawing with MY best encouraging RECOVERING from NICOTINE family - thank all of YOU who encouraged ME to draw and to SHARE - I REMEMBER - all the DAYS I wasted SMOKING - I would be SMOKING ALL DAY - one cigarette after another then another - complaining from a victim child within - what MY Ma said to ME at 14yr old - I got HELP for that issue and NOW - MY OLD habit - SMOKING has been replaced ONLY by God's grace - wirh this NEW habit - picking up different lead pencils - I ask MY Daddy God in prayer for ME - to create something to leave behind for MY beloved daughter's and other's who have asked ME to draw for them - I am still very tender in MY heart about MY drawing or any art that I create - MY wound of childhood is NOW a shinning scar and I am bringing glory to MY Lord Jesus - when I face MY fears and draw anyway as MY Lord Jesus fills me with HIS courage and strength to know HE is with ME in MY heart and soul and spirit - OH - how beautifully and loving and kind is MY Daddy God -for HIS love and grace - when I stepped back and looked at the finished work - I just started to weep tears of gratefulness and JOY - I cried tears of thankfulness in prayer to know for MYSELF -that I have God given talent to pencil draw - I am HIS one of kind artist who creates as I draw - I am NOT a victim to MY 14 yr child heart feelings anymore - MY Lord Jesus has set ME FREE from MY past victim childhood in many many many areas - I am under MY Daddy God's construction NOT people anymore - HEALED people pleaser every now and again - I am God's work in progress - NOT MY perfection anymore - I praised HIM for HEALING ME - inside MY heart - to become one with 14yr old girl inside who was wounded by her mother's ignorance and to be wholly HEALED and TODAY MY NEW habit has made ME a GRATEFUL - 63yr old woman of God who is becoming fully mature in different areas of ME in MY Daddy God's perfect timing - in my body and soul and spirit in MY Lord Jesus name amen - thanks for letting ME share MY NEW habit - pencil drawing
Just SHARING - calligraphy is tough yet after practicing - I believe I will turn out a nice piece - this name in MY Whapton Sioux tongue means - first born son - MY daughter Courtney requested - it took about a week of practicing - letting it dry then put finishing touches on and frame and WAH LAH - done and done - NOT one puff over it NOT being perfect
On May 21st of last year Ex. lost one of our own. Smorgy8513, AKA-Sharon.
I personally never met her but I had read many of her posts. She was very special to many here and will always be remembered. In her honor I wanted to make sure she was added to the Elders Paintings. This photo was blurry and a bit difficult to paint but I worked all day today on it. I think it will need some more work but I guess its okay for now. I will probably fuss more with it in the next few days...
The people on this site touch my soul. Sharing your hearts and helping each other....it just does not get any better than that. Sharon started a blog on Loving yourself and I wanted to post one from that blog that spoke to me, in hopes it will lead others struggling with their quit-their life or whatever...that they may turn and love themselves. I highly recommend going back and reading all of that blog on 'Loving Yourself'.
Good morning to my lovable friends here at the EX!
Why is it important to learn to love ourselves?
Let's talk about that, ok?
I think (for me) a big one is that if I don't love myself I won't believe that I deserve good stuff! And being smoke free is REALLY good stuff.
I smoked for so many years and now have cancer to show for it. But I am blessed in that they found the cancer because I had bronchitis....not because I was so far gone that I have symptoms of the lung cancer.
So.....back to my reason.....I need to love myself so that I won't go back to smoking (1302 DOF today!)
I just finished MY first pencil drawing - MY daughter in Florida asked ME in November if I could draw this from a pic that was painted with spray paint and paint - I said OK NOT thinking and it looked easy - it wasn't easy and I cried tears of GRATITUDE to MY God for HEALING MY child heart from the abusive words from a woman with the title MOTHER - so today when I finished I told MY inner child age 13 in MY 63 yr body - you are a good color pencil ARTIST and YOU are good too - I let MYSELF cry for ME - age 13 little girl in ME and comforted MYSELF - thank you all for letting ME SHARE MY NEW art learning and growing and God healing ME inside MY heart
I have joined the artist group to show MY beginning NEW at home art pencil drawings - I received a Christmas present from MY sister - a book titled drawing for dummies and tons of paper and pencils - a beginner's artist kit - thanks for letting ME share - I have taken this NEW hobbie instead of emotionally eating - when snacking 2020 I eat raw veggies - 3rd DAY raw veggies and drawing - MY husband said this is GOOD for 1st time - so I was encourage to share it - thank you