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Gai.C

Today is the Day

Posted by Gai.C Jan 14, 2020

If you're on the fence about Quitting.  Please Read All the Blogs about COPD And Lung Cancer.  If not if it's Win. Please Stop Today.  If U need Support I'm here. PM me Anytime.  I'm a GreatPrayer Warrior.  My God listens . 

Gai.C

My Daddy

Posted by Gai.C Jan 14, 2020

My Brother sent a text this morning. It said stage 3 lung cancer. My Daddy know he will go to Heaven so no worries about that. I.just feel like I'm loosing it at this point.  I.dont like to take medication but I refilled tha Paxil the Doctor gave me in the beginning of my Quit.  

We got the call to go to ER for MY daughter - with her liver shutting down bit by bit - unknown WHAT is going on NOW - scare and full of dread  - I had to wait for MY husband to get home from work - I didn't have enough gas to use MY car - so I prayed to MY God - please I am talking about ME not anyone else - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - MY daughter is trying to get on liver list - she has NOT completed the requirements and being a RECOVERING alcoholic - they have said to her face - WHY would WE give YOU a liver if YOUR going to drink again - so she had two more requirements to fulfill - her LIVER not WORKING and the ER visits closer and closer -  brings her to a liver appointment on January 28th - 2020 at 11 am to look at what stage her liver is at NOT working - ALL levels of her blood are WHACKED - the ER staff do the best THEY can and send her home to live the out her OWN LIFE the best she can - she goes right back to work and takes care of herself and her kids in keeping a JOB and FOOD and getting them to school and paying the heat to STAY warm - I REALLY am STAYING in learning -  to live this DAY ONLY -  by NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER over ME and MY REALITY of the unknown OUTCOME of cirrhosis of the liver OR SUDDEN death from cirrhosis of the liver OR HEALED from cirrhosis of the liver by MY Lord Jesus - WHO is MY God - her is MY PROBLEM- ME and MY pride - I want to demand that MY God -  DO -  what I want with MY 34yr ADULT daughter - she is NOT a 7yr child - YET I treat her like that until she says MA!!!! it gets MY ATTENTION so I say I am sorry for treating YOU like a child - please forgive ME and she has so far and I am thankful for her kindness and love and understanding - It is HARD on MY heart as her mom and she said it's OK MA - so it was SUGGESTED to ME - toTODAY<img src='https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/images/emojis/1f496.png' class='jive_emoji'/> LET GO and TRUST MY God for the OUTCOME - so I CHOOSE to take that SUGGESTION - and enjoy MY DAY

PastTense

Nose Business  35/90

Posted by PastTense Jan 13, 2020

This post will be a little graphic; it’s all about sinus troubles since quitting.

I have always had allergies. I spent my life sniffling. I’ve done the tests, taken the shots; I even moved away from Texas. I would have tried anything short of snorting Draino to clear my sinuses and breathe again. Anything except quit smoking, of course. I have always known that my allergies couldn’t possibly get better until I quit.

In fact, fixing my allergies is a main motivator for my quit. Smoking gives me sinus headaches for days. I hate waking up to the smoked-too-much-yesterday headache. I hate the constant coughing. I hate that my throat clogs up as soon as I start talking or even worse, singing. I hate the puffy bags under my eyes.

Quitting has made some symptoms even worse as my sinuses struggle to clear themselves of decades-worth of smoke residue. I’m doing sinus irrigation every day to help clean out the guck. It’s pretty gross. I found a product that claims to tin out the mucus and it appears to work.

I’m wondering if my sinuses are sloughing off their old lining and replacing with new. That sounds like it would be a good thing unless you have to live through the sloughing part.

It is a slow healing process and it is hard to stay patient. I am keeping my fingers crossed that all the nastiness is just the first step.

PT

PastTense

Cautious Optimism  34/90

Posted by PastTense Jan 13, 2020

I woke up in a much better mood, thank goodnes.  It's pretty bad when you don't even want to be around yourself. 

Oddly enough, taking the pledge made me feel better! 

The one thing I can control today is my commitment not to smoke.  Just reminding myself that I AM IN CONTROL lifted my spirits. 

Now it's off to work and the myriad tasks ahead.

Wishing all of you a most excellent day

 

PT

PastTense

Disgruntled  34/90

Posted by PastTense Jan 12, 2020

adjective

displeased and discontented; sulky; peevish:
Disgruntled is the word of the day.  I feel it.  I look it.  If it had a scent; I would smell like it.
I have been churlish and grumpy all day.  I even fussed at my husband (who spent all day working on the house).   
We have a weight loss challenge at work which started on Monday and I have been very careful about what I eat and logging my food and I still gained a pound.  So not only am I disappointed at not losing weight, everybody in the office will know.
I'm going to bed.  I know it's only 7pm and I'll probably be wide awake at 4am.  
Tomorrow is another day
PT
Julie1960

Working on day 12

Posted by Julie1960 Jan 12, 2020

Working on day 12. Been craving some.  Will I ever feel better?  I no the Strom before the calm.  I am proud of myself for not smoking.  But I don't like the crabby ass and being tried not sleeping at night.  But I do like the fact I am not smoking.

Please I am talking about ME not anyone else - Please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - MY reality - we were playing 500 rummy after enjoying a wonderful supper - then SUDDENLY - MY daughter is in pain and confused and out of her MIND so WE experinced this episode in December near death due to potasium level 2 and NOW simular symptoms with the out of her mind - spiked fever and confusion - she went from calm to berserk - at 730pm we are heading to ER with MY daughter - I prayed the word of GOD out loud the whole 20 minute ride - MY husband thanked ME - MY daughter reached for MY hand and the peace of GOD filled each of us - MY adult daughter - who at 34 yrs YOUNG has a body that is failing due to her diseased liver from alcoholism - it is a disease of a 3 fold in nature - the body and spirit and soul - this TIME her heart is getting weaker and her blood sugar is 49 - dr said this was NEAR FATAL for her and due to her diseased liver - her body is working out on all the rest of her internal organs overworked - in a nutshell - 49 blood sugar - they gave orange juice and jello and a sandwich to eat quickly - blood sugar 1 hour later - 188 and it will rebalancing will take place - now her potassium levels 3 - dr gave 2 potassium pills by mouth and iv potassium drip which takes 2 HOURS in vein - next WAITING -  this is the hardest for ME as a mother of an ADULT child to watch and WAIT - MY youngest - of 3 ADULT children - who's body is falling because-  she chose NOT to take her meds - 4 days off potassium causes COMA and DEATH - she has NOT taken the steps required to get on liver list - her CHOICE - I can't change her OR cure her and I did NOT cause this disease - YET this is where I must .- WAIT ON GOD'S OUTCOME -  NOW 2 times - she has CHOSEN to -  NOT to take her postasuum 4 days - EACH time - will bring FATAL results- an anonymous person said NO ONE KNOWS THE PAIN IN ANOTHER PERSON'S HEART - we were released at 1230pm - we offered her to spend night - she chose to drive home and is at work decorating 4 cakes TODAY - YES she is a CHEF decorator of baked goodies - then at the same time - same friday night around 7pm - MY husband sister is at ER - at another hospital - appendicitis needs to come out - surgery scheduled 6am on Saturday and WE went to be with his sister and surgery 6am  cancelled until noon - they took her in and total time 2 hours and then back to room and rechecked and dr said she will go home - ONLY by prayer and MY Daddy God's saving grace in MY Lord Jesus - I kept reading and praying HIS word - I asked for HELP - I received HELP from MY friend who prayed for ME to let go and trust God with HIS beloved daughter in Christ Jesus and with MY husband sister too - BELIEVE - TRUST and OBEY - knowing the OUTCOME for BOTH of OUR loved one's is in God's hands - I BREATHE deep - I cry with the long suffering since 2015 - dealing with this disease of body spirit and soul of MY precious daughter nearing death and I ask MY Holy Comforter to lead and teach ME to LET GO AND LET GODand the GOOD NEWS- NEVER TOOK ANOTHER PUFF over any of MY REALITY in MY Lord Jesus name amen it is written I can do all things through Christ Jesus which strengthens me- amen   

PastTense

Weight Gain  33/90

Posted by PastTense Jan 9, 2020

There is no denying that quittting smoking causes weight gain. 

There are two forces at work against us when we quit smoking; first there is effects of nicotene which increases your metabolism, and then there is the snacking that replaces smoking.

 

There seems to be an silent agreement in the Quit community to not dicuss weight gain - especially with new quitters.  I have seen the suggestions to keep "healthy snacks" on hand to counteract a craving.  ("healthy snack" is an oxymoron, btw; if it's healthy, it isn't a snack).  Or drink water. Saying "Here, eat this thing you HATE instead of having the smoke you Want!" It's probably good advice, but not particulary practical or helpful.  I only have so much willpower available to me.  I can avoid cigarettes OR I can avoid M&Ms; but I can't do both. 

 

I have also seen many posts reminding us that smoking is far worse for our health than being over weight.  An absolute fact.  Most of us have already admitted to turning a blind eye towards our health when we smoked.

 It is no small thing in this society to gain weight.  Especially for women.  We are judged by our girth first and foremost.  The struggle to stay quit when your clothes no longer fit is REAL.  The struggle to reduce calories when you're already on a diet-for-life is REAL.  The shame and anger when looking at new rolls of fat in the mirror is REAL.

 

I don't have answers. I think we do quitters a diservice by not addressing this more openly. 

 

PT

PastTense

Side effects  32/90

Posted by PastTense Jan 8, 2020

Quitting smoking is the best way to find out all the systems in your body that were affected by nicotine.

Seriously. We have all seen the health risks associated to smoking.  Everything from diabetes to migraines is linked to smoking.  I used to grumble that if I got a hangnail, my doctor would tell me it's because I smoked.

 

Then I quit - and you know what?  EVERYTHING is affected when you use nicotine.

My digestion couldn't figure out what the heck was going on and just shut down. 

My sinuses have turned themselves inside out and have possibly molted.

I got headaches, I got light headed, and had days on end of being in a mental fog.

I couldn't sleep.  I couldn't wake up. 

Coffee tasted funny.  Water tasted funny.

Let's not even discuss mood swings.

 

Withdrawal is good indication of where nicotine was doing its dirty work.

And it is very, very dirty

 

Keep the quit

PT

PastTense

Non Smoker 31/90

Posted by PastTense Jan 7, 2020

I truly wish I could just be a non-smoker.  I've had enough of quitting.  Right now, I'm still a smoker who doesn't smoke.  I would love to feel like a non-smoker.  Somebody who has never smoked.  Someone who has never even wanted to smoke.

I don't know that I will ever feel that way.  But I do know that every day I spend not smoking, feels better than any day addicted to a stinky, filthy, expensive habit.

Keep the quit

PT

PastTense

Taking the pledge 30/90

Posted by PastTense Jan 6, 2020

For me, for my quit; there is no better way to start the day than by taking the Pledge. My first task when I get in to work is to sign in and take the pledge. It is my reminder that I made a commitment to become a non-smoker.

I love the imagery that we create of chain of support for everyone on the site. We take a hand for support we need; we extend a hand for the help we can give. Each one of us lifts up another.

I know I need to take the pledge every day. Weekends and holidays are hard because I don’t usually log in to my computer first think in the morning. I can feel the tug on my resolve on days that I haven’t pledged. The days I don’t pledge are always the days I need it the most.

So take the pledge

Keep the quit

 

PT

PastTense

Back to work 29/90

Posted by PastTense Jan 6, 2020

The first full week of work after the holidays.  I'm looking at stacks of files and piles of paper and trying to get motivated to dig in.  I was hoping that things would slow down after the holidays, but I think they have sped up.

I don't know why anything would feel different, but it does.

Breaks over and it's back to work for me.

Keep the quit

indingrl.01.06.2011

9 YEARS TODAY 

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jan 6, 2020

Hello - MY name is Indin grl - AKA - DIANEJOY - and - TODAY -  January 6th 2020 -  I am a RECOVERING NON SMOKER and I have 9 YEARS - TODAY - January 6th 2020 - I AM - living a JOY filled life in - MY DAY -  filled with MOMENTS of love and joy and peace- ever growing in long suffering and gentleness and goodness - taking the gains and losses of MY NON SMOKER DAY and - I stayed in prayer - ALL MY DAY - seeking MY God's will for ME and received more faithfulness and kindness and self control -  in MY Lord Jesus name and ONLY by God's grace in HIS love - I still come here EVERYDAY -  to give away ALL -  to keep it - that saying was taught to me in October of 1986 -  in one of MANY - 12 step support groups - MY God blessed ME with and still that saying - YOU gotta give it ALL away to keep it - works TODAY- January 6th 2020 - I was taught to keep an attitude of GRATITUDE- ALWAYS - and I have something to be GRATEFUL for EACH DAY - NO MATTER WHAT - life on life's terms HITS ME with - in the midst of family funerals - celebrations or just a boring DAY  - I attend more funerals this PAST year and learned that - now at MY young age of 62 - this PAST YEAR- so MANY of MY family are OLD and are going to heaven - 3 family members went to heavrn -  in a matter of DAYS of each other - it was over whelming this PAST YEAR - I was told - DEATH happens more NOW -  that I am 62 years young and more will take place - deal with it - life goes on - it happens to EVERYONE - that is LIFE on life's terms -hmmmmmm - TRUTH - FACTS - TOUGH LOVE - this is MY medicine that teaches ME to keep growing up and be RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE - NOT anybody else's - MY God's grace and TENDER mercies on ME to BELIEVE TRUST and OBEY MY God - until HE calls ME home - I pray in Jesus name HE finds ME working by faith in HIS service -  NOW to eternity - EACH DAY HE gives ME - to keep moving forward  - to keep thanking  MY God daily - for blessing ME - with ALL of YOU - here on this site - I CHOOSE to include ALL  -  EVERYBODY - EVERYONE - to thank -  ALL - EVERYONE -EVERYBODY - here on this -  RECOVERY FROM NICOTINE SITE - MY NON SMOKER family for teaching ME to keep -  learning and growing and healing - amen - please I am talking about ME - NOT anyone else - so please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - it is on this site that I met Doris and she would love ME- every day - by sending love graphics on MY page - EVERYDAY-  until I could love MYSELF - EVERYDAY she would visit MY page beginning - in October 2010 until the day she went to be with MY Lord Jesus - I miss her so much and I know -  I will see her again!!!!!! LIVING one day at a time - TOGETHER - is MY God's gift of unconditional love to ME - I have been coming here ALMOST everyday to STAY GRATEFUL and in HIS love to HELP the next suffering NICOTINE ADDICT to HOPEMay God continue to let ME be of HIS SERVICE to ALL those who need HIS love and joy and peace to BELIEVE - to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER - to NOT ONE PUFF EVER - ONE BREATHE at a time  

PastTense

Shopping 28/90

Posted by PastTense Jan 5, 2020

I love scrolling through websites and looking at stuff.  I rarely buy.  I don't need more things (unless we're talking about shoes).  I just like browsing.

What I like are things that cannot be bought.

Things like fitness.  Money helps with gym memberships and equipment, but it takes personal effort to exercise on a regular basis.

Education is the same.  Sure, it takes some bucks to go to college; but there are a lot of ways to become educated and libraries are free.  It takes personal effort to read the books, take some notes, and maybe go to a museum.

Here comes the metaphor.

Quitting smoking can't be bought.  You can't hire somebody to do it for you.  You gotta quit your own quit.  You gotta power through the craves.

While we do our own lifting, we have a lot of cheerleaders.  All the folks here are happy for our success.

PT

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