Skip navigation
All Places > Conversations > Blog
1 2 3 4 5 Previous Next


1,074 posts

I love someone who has COPD. I've mentioned it before. Yet, they show no signs of either wanting to quit or quitting. 


Every day, I hear a juicy cough, sometimes worse than others, and most of the time triggered by their lighting and smoking a cigarette.


I cannot make anyone do anything, but I can sit here and not understand the why.


Perhaps, as my husband suggested, they've given up in their desire to quit, the damage having been done. 


This person has done other things to help their situation - going to Silver Sneakers classes at the Y and occasionally taking meandering walks. They eat properly for the most part, though the body weight says there's some snacking going on somewhere   (Also guilty of that one myself!)


I did ask what stage of COPD they had and the answer was "I don't know." I've done some research on COPD as it may be my future for all I know. I smoked off and on from the 70s till almost a year ago, with an 8-year quit in there somewhere. 


Anyway, I'm at a loss right now. I can't help. I can only offer an occasional bravo for lifestyle changes going in the healthy direction.


This person is almost 70. Maybe that's it. Maybe their thinking is that they've gotten this far while smoking that there's no reason to quit.


Yep, I love a person with COPD and I can't do a damned thing about it.



Day 301


300 days

Posted by DonnaMarie Oct 13, 2019

300 days doesn't sound like much. It's not even a year. It's a drop in the bucket when you think of your whole lifespan. It's a fairly small number in the big picture. 


But 300 is a frickin HUGE number to me. 

See? It's a BIG number!


For the last 300 days, I have not smoked. Not even one puff. I am zeroing in on a year. Can you imagine? I couldn't. But here I am, telling the tale.


This seems cliche, but if I can do this, anyone can. It took a lot of work, a lot of friends, the world of Ex (a gigantic part of my quit), and lots of tricks of the trade to make it happen, and it did. I am a quitter. Oh yes I am.



Day 3-frickin-hundred 


Traveling by CAR

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Oct 11, 2019

Traveling out of state - MY mama said she isn't going to make it much longer - MY sister who lives with her since high school is her caregiver and wants to go on vakay with her fiance - MY other sister asked ME to go with her to keep her company - I already made MY goodbye trip - I said for HER -  I would go with HER - I remember YEARS ago -  I was 3 months NICOTINE FREE- MY brother- in- love was killed by a drunk driver and it was MY 1st time traveling - as a NON SMOKER in March of 2011 - I came here for HELP - and was taught HOW to travel out of state without using MY DRUG NICOTINE to cope with driving - cheeeezee Louise - I really believed at that time in MY RECOVERY from NICOTINE driving was impossible - NOW when I drive TODAY using MY drug nicotine doesn't enter MY mind - I have learned to let everyone know where I am in RECOVERY - I am only ONE PUFF away - I have a brain TODAY and I use it - only by God's grace still a NON SMOKER heading out this morning - October 2019 -  8 YEARS and 9 MONTH'S as a NON SMOKER enjoying each DAY - MY God blesses ME with each NEW day and  I still come here each NEW day to HELP the next suffering NICOTINE ADDICT to HOPE - just like I was given HOPE back then and still given freely - TODAY - thanks for letting ME - REMEMBER the lesson of driving is possible as a NON SMOKER  - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF OVER ME OR DRIVING  - no matter what and please take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - for letting ME be ME - gentle hug 


those initial days....

Posted by green1611 Oct 11, 2019

The small food joint, and behind that little hiding place. There are two undergraduate colleges in front, nice six floor buildings old construction, looking fresh still. Yes, thats my place when I was studying undergraduate.


And two roads join in a corner. That was the place, I had my first puff, second puff, then thrown the cigarette. My friend scolded at me, and picked up that invaluable half burn cigarette, and taught me how to smoke !!. I learnt quickly. It was fun, absolutely fun those days.!!! Completion of undergraduate, finding out ways to earn money, etc all is the history.

I became five a day smoker. For more than thirty five years.....


And I happened to be there, yesterday, for some work, passing on, so stopped....

And looked at the hiding place, it was there, may be little better now, students are ...yes.. learning undergraduate..

Initial smokers, fun smokers .. I saw, they were there like me,  some 35 years back.

I remembered my journey...... I wanted to tell them, do not touch this demon, no no no... but I did not.

Had some elderly person told me 35 years back, would I listened to him? do not know.


Now looking back after 2145 days of smoke free, (big thanks to this community), I felt that the girls and boys there ? will they sometime join Ex Smokers ever? or keep trying? or will keep smoking, and slavery of nicotine? who know..

Prayed they do not get addicted..


I came back, and followed my way to the work. On wheels, started driving the car !


Importantly, I realised later that it did not come to mind, not minuscule inducement, that ....let me have a one puff, in the reminiscence of olden days of undergraduate, old friends...


NOPE. Great !!

My mother, my father, and my boyfriend are all smokers and none have the desire to quit at all. I don't want to be one of those holier than thou ex-smokers who complains about something that I did for 30+ years. The boyfriend is being almost overly considerate. The parents not at all. 


My mother works for me so we carpool to the office. She continues to smoke in my car. I honestly don't mind much. Being around people who are smoking doesn't bother me. Oh but my oh my how she wreaks when she gets in the car. And it's not just her. The dog's couch, the turtle tank, the cat box, the sink drain, that road kill I passed... 

I know increased senses of taste and smell are supposed to be a good sign but man, the world just smells awful.

Just a love note to MARK - OUR ON SITE MANAGER - WHO LOVES US AND KEEPS THIS SITE UP AND RUNNING WITH HEALTHY BLOGS FOCUSED ON - HUMANS RECOVERING FROM NICOTINE -  I VOTED MARK - OUR MOST VALUABLE PLAYER  - by HIS actions - to manage this site -  with ONE main objective- in UNITY -  to keep the PEACE  - to control the sharing in the blogs - respect - honor - love - sharing NON SMOKER LIVING - experience - strength - HOPE - with the freedom to blog by letting EVERYONE be themselves -  by YOU Mark - to make sure all needs are met in being HELPFUL to other's that desire to quit smoking - I believe YOU - Mark have been -  open minded with a willingness to accept EVERYONE -  with tons of personalities -  with tons of inner issues - in each human being - and YOU also allow all types of peoples and WELCOME ALL of them - and to just be themselves - RECOVERING NICOTINE ADDICTS  - YOU - MY beloved Mark - make sure each INDIVIDUAL - is seeking HELP for their personal NICOTINE issues and share their experiences - YOU very sincere in HELPING to point individuals in the right direction of their choice of RECOVERY -  that works for them individually in HELPING them to learn about NICOTINE ADDICTION- from the Mayo clinic EXteam information - and the peoples here from all over the WORLD - what a job and YOUR DOING GOOD handling all addictive personalities that clash every now and again and to let us work it out for OURSELVES - offering YOUR HELP when necesary to keep the PEACE and LOVE  -  I believe YOUR love of service - to those who are SUFFERING from NICOTINE addiction is -  AGAPE LOVE -  please know -  YOU - Mark are much appreciated and respected by ALL YOU do for EVERYONE here - a thankless job at times from humans who are selfish at times - yet I have experienced personally how YOU HELPED ME to grow up and NOT take offense as YOU taught ME - how to correct MY immature behavior in MY EARLY RECOVERY - when I was ignorant of spiritual boundaries set for this on- line support group for NICOTINE RECOVERY -  which is to remain focused on STAYING quit - NOT -  on winning a popularity contest - I grew up with YOUR HELP and I am so grateful that YOUR OUR ON SITE MANAGER -  gentle hug


Quick Big Victory

Posted by Exvape Oct 6, 2019

Just had a call with a BIG & Difficult client....when we speak I get anxious and very nervous and want to vape...none of that happened this morning...I was still nervous and anxious BUT minus the nicotine. Just goes to show me that good and bad happens...stress happens....BUT I don’t need to attempt to reduce the anxiety or stress with nicotine - it doesn’t work! The nicotine just elevates my heartbeat & blood pressure and just creates an illusion of anxiety/stress reduction,

Anyway I can’t say i’m feeling great at this moment - I’m still nervous from that call (I didn’t deliver any good news to the client) but I didn’t vape. I will take that as a major accomplishment.



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Oct 2, 2019

Watch YOUR thoughts - they become YOUR words - Watch YOUR words - they become YOUR actions - Watch YOUR actions - they become YOUR habits - Watch YOUR habits - they become YOUR character - Watch YOUR character -for it becomes YOUR destiny - BY ANONYMOUS -   hmmmmmmmm - let ME pray BEFORE I open MY mouth in MY Lord Jesus name for HIS will - HIS plan - so HE will live HIS life through ME by HIS faith in ME by MY Holy Comforter leading and teaching ME amen - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you -   FACT -  I try to read ALL the blog's here to KEEP learning to grow and deal with MY reality of life on life's terms - as I choose to LEARN from YOUR experience to live in TODAY just like YOU and NOT TAKE ONE PUFF OVER ME  - hmmmmmmmm- what spiritual tool did ALL of YOU teach ME -  SUGGESTIONS - to say out loud to MYSELF for MYSELF - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER - N.O.P.E - SINAO - ONE day at a time - blog BEFORE I take that first PUFF over ME - come here FIRST and VENT to Y'ALL because I am a NON SMOKER - I am a NON SMOKER - MY destiny to STAY and REMAIN this MOMENT - HELPING pass on the HOPE - that TOGETHER in UNITY - NOT ONE PUFF EVER - Yahoooooooooo .- thank you ALL - bestest teachers ever! gentle hug

MY history of - MY NICOTINE ADDICTION - first puffs of NICOTINE for ME was from cigarette butts I collected off the street for MY grandma - directed to STAY on the NATIVE American side of town ONLY - I wasn't allowed on the WHITE people ONLY side of town - I grew up to LEARN -  to be a racist - against ALL races - THEY-  became the watch word  -  which became - any other peoples -  IF you weren't NATIVE AMERICAN -  I WAS NOT ALLOWED NEAR YOU - I learned to use alcohol and drug NICOTINE and perverted sex - all by age 4 - I was raised in this evil wicked vile dsyfunction by MY blood family which taught ME all I know from age 4 to age 62 yrs YOUNG in 2019 - God in HIS tender mercies had been transforming ME inside to be more Christ-like by MY Holy Spirit doing ALL the INSIDE work by rooting out litlle by little -  MY ingrained habitual patterns and habits - sometimes I become as DRY ADDICT and treat MYSELF mean and call MYSELF names -  just like they did when I was little - heathen - dirty little girl - fat little pig - fat cow - no good for nothing - I wish you were born a boy - MY mom said - I ruined her life- ALL these names and life training came from MY blood family - drunks - whores - drunk day and night - smoke filled houses and cars and raised in bars - these were MY learning places - I never understand when people ask - what story did YOUR mom-  read you at bed time - NOTHING - bedtime was rape time at 6yr old I was given to a 48 yr old man - MY mom married and I was his piece of ass - until I left the house at 16yr - this is MY history of using NICOTINE to escape -  to cope - to deal with memories of this crap TODAY - to STOP using MY  DRUG NICOTINE - I became a born again beliver in Christ Jesus MY Savior and Lord and MY Daddy God had to save ME from ME -  I would NOT -nor did I want to quit USING MY DRUG NICOTINE - I prayed -  Dear Jesus -  if YOU don't take these cigs from ME - I will smoke them until I drop dead in Jesus name amen - I went to bed and woke on January 6 - 2011 - COLD TURKEY QUIT - since then I am LIVING as a NON SMOKER - I have had to face MY immaturity and autopilot of OLD ADDICT behaviors - ALL rooted in MY INSIDES from MY childhood - sometimes I am NOT wiiling to admit complete defeat YET I have come to the end of MYSELF - I used NICOTINE to SMOKE at others- to SMOKE at change of life's - funerals - weddings - birthdays - problems - money woes - bills - accidents that happen and people end up dead  - I use to smoke 50 death sticks a day at everything - I lived in fantasy  and illusions - IF I smoked I REALLY believed -  life's issues would - GO AWAY - I would convince MYSELF after SMOKING -  50 death sticks in a day and I made it to bed - that night- I DID IT YAHHOOOOO I LIVED THROUGH THE CRAP OF THE DAY- I didn't think SMOKING was killing ME slowly - I thought I was LIVING and handling MY OWN life- Thanks to MY God and all of YOU - MY RECOVERY from NICOTINE family - using drug NICOTINE DOESN'T enter MY NEW MINDSET -  TODAY - I pray to God and by HIS grace and love HE gives ME - MY Lord Jesus to strengthen ME by MY Holy Comforter leading ME to deal with life on life's terms -  this month of October 2019 - for ME has had many deaths - IT HAPPENS- yet ALL these deaths are in MY family - ALL at once - I don't understand it ALL YET I will continue to TRUST in MY God no matter what - people say to ME - no one gets out of this world alive -  somtimes just being grateful to God was ALL I could DO for ME -  when I was born to this very minute - walking and STAYING MY age 62 and STAY grow up on the INSIDE - get professional HELP for other issues - this RECOVERY site - cannot HELP with other issues -  this RECOVERY site is to learn coping skills to - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER and to share MY experience - WHAT I use to be like and when I used MY DRUG NICOTINE to escape and cope over and over getting sicker physically - hacking cough - spitting out hunks of mucus - NOT TODAY - I was taught - HOW I STAY a NON SMOKER - TODAY. - by following - ALL YOUR examples - thank you ALL so much for HELPING ME to remain - open minded and to keep -  learning and growing and only by MY God's grace and love - MY God HEALING ME in HIS love and service to HELP the next suffering NICOTINE ADDICT to HOPE - IF WE CAN STAY NON SMOKERS SO CAN THEY - just choose for YOUR self in MY Lord Jesus name amen please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - thanks for letting ME just SHARE - gentle hug  

Good day all,


 Just thought I’d check in. All in all, things are well in our little world. My new job is going well, though I really had to get in shape to perform it. Getting there as well. Since the loss of our son, we’ve been kind of in a shell of our own choosing. One that was both comforting and at the same time, confusing. We’ve given some thought to the upcoming holidays as these will be firsts for us without him. Those times when we must face things that were always comforting and yet now are different.


 It’s in those kinds of moments that we can find wisdom. A way to cope with things that have changed. For us this year, we’ve decided to change our traditions. To do things on those special days a little differently simply to ease the burden that naturally comes with those firsts in our lives. As I thought of this, I realized that once again this was a problem I’d encountered before. A thing that had to be overcome in my past because you see, I was an addict. A slave to nicotine and with that slavery came the things that seemed to be normal to me, even as I created this normal with every endulgance into the addiction.


 I created traditions that helped to feed my addiction with every passing day. Things that I expected to have happen such as the after dinner smoke or the coffee and cigarette on the deck in the mornings. The cigarette that gave me the confidence to walk down the road or drive. My days were filled with the traditions that I’d created as I continued defining myself by my belief in my addiction and the traditions that go with it.


 And when I decided to quit, I found that for me finding ways to change those traditions was an important key to my freedom. For every time that I allowed myself a chance to smoke, I attached a kind of tradition to it. It was something that was expected in my mind not because it was written in some kind of cosmic stone but rather because that’s what I’d always done, and over time I had an expectation of this.


 I found that by changing that expectation I was able to move more easily on from it and embrace something new because of it. Soon these new traditions WERE my traditions because my expectations of an event had changed. Sure it had to be learned but so too did the traditions I created in the first place. Like a holiday, the day itself is insignificant. It’s the expectation that we add to the day that makes it special, and because of this that expectation can be changed.


 So never believe that your life is written in stone. Never think that what you expect to happen has to be your reality. We decide our traditions by the importance that we attach to them. To change that, all we have to do is change the expectation. Just a thought I had that I thought I’d share with all of you dedicated people.







Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Sep 28, 2019

In the beginning of learning a NEW mindset -  i was learning to live as a NON SMOKER - and during this past week of going threw MY grief  -  I was over whelmed SUDDENLY  -  by a ball of EMOTIONS -  all at once - because I saw a Kawasaki motorcycle at the stop light - I remembered - MY adopted son Carlton was killed - end of August 2019 at 9pm in Oak Harbor, Washington - BAM!!! MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT-  DIED  - I went - TODAY - to MY support group for GRIEVING - it was SUGGESTED to ME - keep this in MIND when OVER stressed - physically - emotionally - mentally and spiritually - to BE gentle and kind to MY self -  and REMEMBER to take care of YOU - D. E.E.R. - the D is for Drinking WATER - the E is to EAT - the E is to EXERCISE - the R is to REST - D.E.E.R. - I needed simple solution to HELP ME - I get confused - I want to stay in bed - I want to sleep the GRIEF away - it is SUGGESTED to take care of ME THROUGH MY grieving - I NEVER think of using drug NICOTINE to cope- I BEEN A NON SMOKER TOO LONG TO USE MY EXCUSES OF OLD ADDICT MIND - NOT TODAY - MY NEW MINDSET - thinking is for ME - asking for HELP -  from those who have EMPATHY because THEY too have grieved loss of loved ones and remained NON SMOKERS - walking in their REALITY THROUGH the PAIN to heal and keep moving forward - to HELP others to learn - grow - heal and the pass on the love and solutions to unexpected GRIEVING - in this MOMENT - to let GRIEVING have its way and go THROUGH the pain - Drink water Eat Exercise Rest - D.E.E.R. while GRIEVING - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is my only aim - thank you - gentle hug

If anyone asked me if quitting smoking was easy? I'll be saying HELL NO!!!! BUT if you asked me if quitting smoking was worth it? I'm saying HELL YES!!!! If you stop and think about how decades upon decades you smoked then it only stands to reason that it's bound to take time to relearn life without the smokes because every blessed thing we did was wrapped around them talking on the phone, before a meal, after a meal lighting up before starting the car for a drive, because your angry, stressed, sad, happy any emotion would do for that crutch like a job well done thankfully  I finally wised up and made the decision to quit after 40 years of slavery of smoking at least 30 a day with at least a half dozen failed attempts at trying to quit with the help of this community I made it through and so can everyone because with the right Mindset we can do just about anything we put our minds to and quitting smoking is DOABLE and it's definetly the best gift that any of us will ever give ourselves which is the gift of LIFE!!!!!


Hovercraft :)

Posted by nevergiveup Sep 25, 2019

Nothing to report really. Just sort of lingering (and perusing) the site when I can. Reached out to Quit 4 Life yesterday as an additional resource through my employer. Hanging onto music as an outlet.


First time for everything

Posted by PastTense Sep 25, 2019

I went out for a beer with a co-worker after work yesterday.  Driving home later that night I had an absolutely INTENSE craving.  This startled me; I'm at day 55 and clearly no longer in withdrawal. I couldn't understand where it came from.

Then it hit me: this was the first time I had gone out since I quit smoking.  So this was the first time I got hit with the after-drinking trigger.


My number one trigger is driving.  I have resisted that one at least 100 times, so that particular habit is broken (or at least fading).  I haven't had to resist the after-drinking trigger before, so it was full-color.  It will probably take me a few more times of pushing through that trigger before it fades to nothing.


I was pondering other situations where I got hit with a trigger "out of the blue"; like going to a certain store.  I used to smoke in that parking lot (trees for shade).  The first time I went back there after I had been quit maybe a week, was really tough.  I was practically hyperventilating.


The lesson for me is to be aware.  I don't know how many triggers I have out there, laying in wait, ready to pounce.

The price of liberty is eternal vigilance.



Day 56

Filter Blog

By date: By tag: