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178 Posts authored by: indingrl.01.06.2011

Cheering for EVERYONE today - I am taking the SUGGESTIONS presented to ME years ago and sharing MY experience strength and hope - to give it all away -  so I can keep it - MY NON SMOKER LIFE STYLE TODAY - the suggestions offered - so please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - SUGGESTION was made to educate - MYSELF -  about MY nicotine addiction only - NOT anyone else's - also to get a NEW MINDSET - to throw away all my old nicotine addict FEELING THINKING - to be willing to remain open minded and be taught by those here on this site and at whyquit.com by Joel - here it was SUGGESTED -  I go there and watch the early death video's at that site and to read Joel's book - which I did read and the recovering FAMILY here SUGGESTED - that I read the book by Allen Carr - which I read too - I was as desperate as the dying may be to receive - HELP to STOP - using MY DRUG OF CHOICE - NICOTINE - to cope with - MY insides - to be wiiling to learn and grow and heal inside of ME - to grow up and take responsibility for MY CHOICES and consequences about living life on life's terms - without smoking at people - places -  things - circumstances - situations  - the suddenly that life throws at ME - MY brother in love killed by a drunk driver -at that time I had 3 months living as a non smoker - or the SUDDENLY of MY friend's son 27yr old killed in a motorcycle accident - I was 8 years living as a NON SMOKER  - I was 7 years living as a NON SMOKER and watching the long suffering of MY sister in love - dying slowly of lung cancer- that's LIFE -  I was told to deal with it - LIFE happens to EVERYONE - in MY PAST LIFE - I handled-  MY DAY - by sucking on 50 DEATH STICKS a day - just to cope with ONE day  - that's MY OLD DEATH LIFE! Just for TODAY - I was TAUGHT to live in - TODAY only -  I was taught to encourage MYSELF by saying out loud - to MYSELF - through out MY DAY- all day long - say over and over  - never take another puff ever  OR  smoking is not an option OR not one puff ever OR do the pledge with those here -  just for TODAY -  I will NOT smoke OR to blog about whatever - blog to just to vent - just blog -  BEFORE - I take that first puff over ME - I prayed for the willingness to be willing to accept others teaching ME to grow in their SUGGESTIONS of NEW ideas and NEW ways of coping with ME and MY insides to handle MY DAY - to STAY in this DAY - as a non smoker by -  HELPING others just like I was HELPED - give away the suggestions given FREELY to ME and pass the HOPE on to the next suffering NICOTINE ADDICT - HOORAY FOR EVERYONE TODAY -  CONGRATS TO EVERYONE TODAY - WAY TO GO EVERYONE TODAY FOR CHOOSING TO LIVE NICOTINE FREE -  as a NON SMOKER just for TODAY -  it is ALL WE HAVE this DAY - TODAY - so GOOD JOB EVERYONE - YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you -  It came to 3250 NICOTINE FREE DAYS only by MY God's grace and the support of EACH INDIVIDUAL person here on this site - DAY after DAY after DAY after DAY after DAY in MY Lord Jesus name - the first 30 DAYS life hit HARD - family member killed by a drunk driver - I believe it was his 3rd arrest yet MONEY talks- this is what I learned DAY after DAY after DAY after DAY of living 3250 DAYS as a NON SMOKER - there is NOTHING new under the sun - same POOP different DAY - life on life's terms - MY personal choice and MY decision DAY after DAY after DAY to live THIS DAY ONLY - for ME - I GOTTA pray to God FIRST and then TRY to come here in HIS love and service to HELP the next SUFFERING NICOTINE ADDICT to Hear.Other.People.Experience. H.O.P.E. - thank YOU EVERYONE here for 3250 DAYS teaching ME to learn and grow from YOUR EXPERIENCE DAY after DAY after DAY after DAY after DAY - FYI whoever got up THIS morning of THIS DAY has the longest NICOTINE FREEDOM - thanks for letting ME SHARE  

indingrl.01.06.2011

MY SMOKEMARE!!!!

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Nov 26, 2019

Please I am talking about ME - not anyone else - please take what helps and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you MY SMOKEMARE -  I was smoking with this man and I knew him since 1987 and we were smoking like chimneys - one after the other - that's how I use to smoke at the end of MY using nicotine addiction lifestyle - we were splitting up the cigarettes - 2 for YOU and 2 for ME - there wasn't many left in pack and the cigs were fatter than usual cigs with white filter and they reminded me of -  Kent cigarettes - they were all white looking - then I was I was thinking of a way to get this man to marry ME- THEN I JUST WOKE UP  -  the man in MY SMOKEMARE has been dead for YEARS - he died from a massive heart attack - from his own personal chain smoking lifestyle - I woke up so GRATEFUL - MY SMOKEMARES have come and gone through MY NON SMOKER LIFESTYLE - YIKES - this SMOKEMARE - scared ME - smoking with a man that has been DEAD for YEARS from SMOKING - so I was taught in the BEGINNING - to tell about MY SMOKEMARES -  right away -  so NO seeds are left to plant in MY mind by ignorance on MY lieing to MYSELF - THINKING maybe after ALL these 8 YEARS - I will smoke just ONE and be OK - well this SMOKEMARE cleared that FAKE seed of a LIE - it's -  OUTTA MY MIND  -  just ONE will kill ME - I was smoking with a DEAD MAN - I knew HIM-  he owned HIS own business -  heat n cool company was married - who cares -  I was after HIS money to keep ME in MY cigarettes - that's what I thought when I woke up - ADDICTION knows no morals OR gives a crap - I stole money from MY mom when I was 15 years old to get MY cigs - If I stole from MY mom then as a USING NICOTINE ADDICT - I will steal YOUR money too - to get MY fix - please I am talking about ME - I made sure I had MY smokes BEFORE I brought food for MY kid's - it is a known FACT - an addict will steal YOUR wallet and HELP YOU LOOK FOR IT  - MY WARNING -  SMOKING STILL KILLS AND JUST ONE WILL KILL ME  - I thank MY God that by HIS love and grace and tender MERCIES for ME in MY Lord Jesus and by MY Holy Comforter by MY PERSONAL belief - I will REMAIN a NON SMOKER NOW to eternity in Jesus name amen - I was taught a SMOKEMARE is a warning - to go tell on MYSELF thoughts of using just ONE death stick - and to REMEMBER - to thank God - I am a NON SMOKER - just for TODAY - it is all I have to live through - TODAY- only by HIS grace and I am given - ONE DAY at a time to live -  THIS day ONLY fighting the good fight of faith - MY BATTLEFIELD OF MY MIND - not anyone else's - whoever got up the earliest - TODAY -this DAY ONLY -  has the most SMOBRIETY - FOR THIS DAY ONLY- IT IS ALL WE HAVE - THIS DAY - THIS 24 HOUR DAY -  yesterday is gone and tomorrow ain't promised to NO ONE! Thanks for letting ME share MY experience strength and HOPE - TODAY

indingrl.01.06.2011

Facing MY face

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Nov 18, 2019

I got a flu shot in 2007 - ONE of the side effects is bells palsey - it is the 7th nerve paralyzed - like a having a stroke - so for 12 YEARS  I have been suffering with it and when Missy asked if she could paint ME - I was frightened to show MY face - in MY MIND - I am the face of the ugly witch with bulging eyes - anyway- I prayed while she painted that God would paint through her hands -  I sent Missy this picture of ME - the one shown above  and her painting has shown ME the beauty Missy caputured on her canvas -  God painted MY face I believe by using Missy to show ME HIS love on facing MY face - I believed MY God answered MY prayer - MY eyes are filling with tears and MY heart bursts with MY God's grace - I look at MY portrait - the bells palsey is hardly noticeable - I thanked God and Missy for giving ME a beautiful face to face - I just kept thanking Missy for a job well done - WOW GOD'S GIVEN TALENT TO MISSY- thanks for letting ME share

indingrl.01.06.2011

NOW

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Nov 16, 2019

Now is MY time to say - congratulations to EVERYONE - just for TODAY - I was taught - it takes 21 DAYS to break a habit - 21 DAYS to live a NEW habit - CHOICES - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - I have also learned to fast and pray to MY God for others - the fast and pray is called a Daniel fast which is eating -  veggies and salads and drinking water only - I was taught to lift OTHER'S in pray - in fasting I am letting MY God know that I am serious about praying for this person and to discipline -  MYSELF for 21 DAYS for this specific person in MY Lord Jesus name amen - NOW is the -  21st day - TODAY and NOW - all I am concentrating on is - TIME to fly by and wanting it to be - ONE minute after midnight to eat - ribs - burger - turkey - pork - bacon - sausage - chicken wings- fish - tuna - I don't want to see a vegetable or lettuce for awhile  - thanks for letting ME VENT MY hunger for MEAT -  gentle hug

TODAY -  only by God's grace -  I have 3230 DAYS as a NON SMOKER!!!!! Yahooooooooooo - WAY TO GO indin grl and GOOD JOB indin grl please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - a gentle hug to MYSELF with a kiss on each side of MY face - I would like to thank - MY Daddy God and MY Lord Jesus and MY precious Holy Comforter - FIRST - for without THEIR love and grace in ME - I would be DEAD from smoking for 38 YEARS - I would be DEAD from SUCKING ON FIFTY DEATH STICKS A DAY -  to cope with MY inside issues - I PRAISE and THANK MY Lord Jesus -  HOORAY FOR JESUS HEALING ME I thank God for Doris who taught ME everyday to thank God - Doris who is in heaven NOW - she would vist MY page every NEW day back ON THE OLD SITE in October 2010!!!!!  - I would like to thank JoAnne who taught ME to send love to everyone here and share HOW I stay a NON SMOKER - ONE BREATHE at a time - I thank the good OLD boys with some TIME in THEIR NEW MINDSETS -  Thomas and Dale and Tommy and RickI thank Dakota grl who taught ME to smile each DAY the best I could with MY paralyzed face from getting a flu shot and boy did I hate to pray for the DOCTOR yet I did and do pray for him - that doctor who told ME - NOTHING -  about side effects from a FLU shot - NOW 12 YEARS LIVING with a stroke face!!!! It is written - VENGEANCE is mine saith the LORD- I hate the flu shot and that DOCTOR money grubber- yes I do God's will for ME and pray and love and forgive that doctor by faith in MY Lord Jesus in ME by faith and MY Holy Comforter teaching ME to pray for those I resent by faith in Jesus name amen - please I am talking about ME not anyone else -  yet I NEVER took ONE PUFF over ME or any of MY life on life's terms - it won't give ME back - MY smile   I deal with MY EMOTIONS and live in MY REALITY - so if you don't have a paralyzed FACE - smile and let YOUR face know YOUR in RECOVERY from NICOTINE - PRAISE MY God I am a  NON SMOKER - TODAY 3230 DAYS I would like to thank Aztec who taught ME to keep honoring God and HELP others and thank you legend aka Christine who taught ME to keep loving the spiritually bankrupt humans who are ignorant of living with bells palsy from the FLU shot I got out of MY ignorance and to keep moving forward in Jesus name amen and I thank mother goose aka Connie who taught ME to eat more veggies and jojo who got a DOUBLE lung transplant - WHO gave ME her WISDOM - I  remember one DAY I was wanting to SUCK on DEATH - I didn't want to be responsible for MY CHOICES - I wanted to die by SUCKING on DEATH STICKS again - I was feeling thinking - sitting on MY pity pot - getting another ring around me butt - sitting in MY OLD ADDICT habits and patterns of emotionalism and twisted OLD mindset - stinking to high heaven and I remembered -and I CHOSE to blog instead - MY VENTING BLOG -  MY woes about how I wanted to smoke again and jojo said she lived with stage 4 LUNG CANCER - her consequences from smoking at that time- BEFORE she got a miracle from MY God  - she told ME to put a plastic bag over MY head and then SMOKE - that was HER life at that time - stage 4 LUNG CANCER - she said - her SLOW suffocation as NON SMOKER LIFE - ONE BREATHE at a time - she NEVER TOOK ANOTHER PUFF EVER and I did not smoke that DAY- I CHOSE to believe jojo and NEVER TOOK ANOTHER PUFF EVER  - I remained open- minded and teachable - no matter what MY life threw at ME and I continue to blog - BEFORE - I take that FIRST PUFF OVER ME - jojo got a gift from MY God - a double lung transplant - she doesn't come here anymore - I thank God for Joe Spitzer at whyquit.com - Joe has been teaching NICOTINE ADDICTS for YEARS - he has dedicated HIS life to HELPING NICOTINE ADDICTS -  from HIS HEART -  Joe taught ME to -  NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF over ME ever -Joe taught ME - that NICOTINE leaves the body in THREE DAYS- PHYSICALLY  - then I need to - LEARN a NEW way of THINKING -  not feeling thinking - I need to keep learning NEW ways to handle MY thoughts and MY feelings  -  to COPE with MY one - DAY ONLY - not anyone else's DAY - that I learned from MY God - other human's are - NONE OF MY BUSINESS - I surrender ALL human's to MY God - they are HIS BUSINESS   gosh it is wonderful to be a NON SMOKER RECOVERING from MY big babyism - TIME to grow up - that's what I was taught by those STAYING NON SMOKERS - oh please forgive ME - I don't know how to @  names - so if your name isnt printed in MY blog - please don't be offended - this isn't about you-  thank you TODAY is MY attitude of GRATITUDE to MY God for those people who taught ME in MY EARLY DAYS - this ain't a popularity contest - this is learning to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER - taught to ME by Joe at whyquit.com - these people here -  SUGGESTED -  I go there and EDUCATE MY self on MY NICOTINE ADDICTION ONLY - not anyone else's -  I am CELEBRATING MY DAY of LIVING as a NON SMOKER for  - 3230 DAYS -  of learning and growing and being HEALED inside of ME in Jesus name amen - I learned the hard way -  NO ONE will do it for ME - I was taught by Joyce Meyer who celebrated recently 40 YEARS LIVING AS RECOVERING NICOTINE ADDICT in Jesus name - HIS WAY - HIS TRUTH and HIS LIFE for ME - not talking about anyone else - please and thank you - one DAY at a time- Joyce Meyer - SUGGESTED to ME  - to STOP and to THINK what I am THINKING about - so I STOP when I get babyism - MY pride in ME rears its ugly head and tries to convince ME to play God in other people's lives - NOT TODAY - there is a God and I am not HIM   I continue to PRAY and I thank God for MY God and HIS tender mercies for I know only by HIS love and grace and tender mercies -  I live just for TODAY in Jesus name amen - gentle hug 

indingrl.01.06.2011

CRAVINGS

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Nov 9, 2019

Please take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - please remember - I am talking about ME - NOT anyone else - thank you - CRAVINGS - for ME -  I craved ATTENTION -  since I came out of MY mother's womb - from her - MY MOTHER - she is a mean and vile woman - who said -  I should of been a born a boy -  because of ME -  her life is ruined - the Catholic married man didn't divorce his Catholic wife - because of ME - I was born a girl - so to punish ME - this woman that I respect and honor and give the title of MOTHER - I FORGIVE her and in God's love - I love her too  - because of MY Lord Jesus - in HIM - I love her - I don't like her for handing ME to her husband - I was 6 years old and letting him rape ME until I was 15 YEARS old - I have received professional therapy and have had a Bible based child rape survivors support group and have been HEALED and made peace with God and MYSELF and MY MOTHER - she has told ME - she was sorry - she didn't do anything for ME as a child and I accepted her sorry - MANY YEARS have gone by and WE are still are progressing in MY CRAVING FOR A MOTHER and her love in this HEALING process in OUR-  MOTHER and daughter -  relationship - at least it is a - REAL relationship between us- TODAY - 2019 - it ain't fake -  I don't like her and she don't like ME - WE LOVE one another - God's miracle and God's GRACE upon grace in MY Lord Jesus name amen  - MY next CRAVING for ATTENTION  -  relationships with other humans - TODAY - I used the excuse CRAVING NICOTINE when I am hurting - wounded or just plain FEELING  - NICOTINE is just an excuse  - for ME - it is MY CRAVING - MY REAL longing -  to be loved and have friendships -  from other humans and CRAVING the attention to be their friend or to be noticed by them - to be included in the -  CLICK - to be with those - called by society - the in crowd - to be number one and popular - the CRAVING to be talked with or missed by someone - I CRAVED a loving MOTHER - she hates herself - I CRAVED friends - I didn't know how to be a friend - I CRAVED love from abusive men and women - then that ALL CHANGED for ME - November 6 , 1986 - I became born - again - I accepted Jesus as MY Savior and Lord and wouldn't YOU know - HE used ME to invite that MOTHER of MINE -  to receive HIM as her Savior and Lord too - so I CHOSE to obey HIM and TODAY - I do not CRAVE the love of a MOTHER - who is incapable of love - I do not CRAVE NICOTINE - to lie to MYSELF - as an excuse to be immature and not grow up and become responsible for ME and MY NON SMOKER LIFE - to cope with MY insides - TODAY in Jesus love and name amen - I do not CRAVE other humans love - who are incapable of love - CRAVINGS for ME - are FEELINGS -  that I NEVER felt as a child or accepted to FEEL them and let them have their way with ME and to release them-a feeling is just that a feeling - they come and go and they are fickle and many more will come and go -  to LEARN a NEW way -  to NOT let MY feeling-thinking lead ME - NOT TODAY - I no longer CRAVE as immature little VICTIM TODAY - I ask God in Jesus name to HELP ME be a good WOMAN -  fully mature in ALL areas of ME - to love ME and be MY own friend in HIS way and HIS trurh and HIS life in HIM and to keep asking God first for what I need - NOT humans incapable of meeting their own needs  - TODAY - I am a NON SMOKER who knows her OWN HEART TODAY and I no longer CRAVE - abuse or popularity - for I know for a FACT - I am DEEPLY loved and highly FAVORED and richly BLESSED by MY Daddy God by MY Savior and Lord Jesus by MY Holy Comforter - it is written - by grace you have been saved it is NOT of yourselves it is a gift of God - please do NOT take MY word on it - read it for YOUR self - get a Bible - go to 1 Corinthians chapter 15 verses 1- 4 - God loves YOU - read it for YOUR self - YOU will NO longer CRAVE - for YOU will CHOOSE for YOUR self - the love freely offered by God in Christ Jesus - MY Lord  - YOUR CHOICE - thanks for letting ME share - MY experience - strength and HOPE - gentle hug

indingrl.01.06.2011

WAITING

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Nov 7, 2019

Please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - TODAY. - Waiting is so comforting for ME - TODAY - in MY past - I would use NICOTINE - to COPE with having to WAIT ..........WAITING.........WAIT...... some more WAITING .....I would GO outside in MY PAST - experience with sucking on death sticks back in MY PAST.....I was referred to as  - smoking like a chimney....one after the other and MY foul mouth spoke - ONLY death in MY life -  to complain and moan and get so wound up about NOTHING - TODAY .......Waiting for MY daughter's MRI to be done - just a check up per doctor's request - I am grateful she is HEALED and so grateful to lunch with MY husband and daughter and ME - it is MY husband and ME only - are in the 13th day of OUR - Daniel fasting and prayer commitment - to lift a blood family member in prayer for 21 days - this 13th day of this fasting and prayer is spent - WAITING - TODAY for 45 minutes - WAITING - there are so MANY - TONS of people - WAITING to get an MRI - the WAITING room is PACKED .....I am watching people down on the street from the 3rd floor window - walking fast in this cold weather ....I can hear all the city noise - I am listening -  to the cars blowing their horns....sirens blowing their LOUD noises too......I am sipping on hot water - November 17th - I am having a MEAT PARTY -   veggies n salads for 21 DAYS is tough for ME - I do NOT want to see a salad or any veggies for awhile - TODAY -  I prayed to remain grateful - I am a NON SMOKER ...just for TODAY WAITING with a grateful heart for life on life's terms in MY REALITY ...grateful that MY fingers are no longer STAINED BROWNISH YELLOW from using MY DRUG of choice - NICOTINE- so grateful to MY God for NICOTINE FREEDOM -  all these YEARS - ONE day at a time - thanking God - HE BLESSED ME  in MY Lord Jesus name amen - gentle hug 

Friday is a day for ME that centers MY mind on GRATITUDE to MY God for HIS love and tender mercies NEW to ME every morning - HE gives to ME -  by HIS breathing into ME - more of HIS love and peace and joy - in the midst of MY NEW DAY - to REMEMBER ALL God has done for ME - I smoked for 38 YEARS - at the end of MY using NICOTINE - MY drug of choice - talking about ME not anyone else - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - at the end of MY smoking - I smoked 50 DEATH STICKS - a day - I took MY inventory of -  how many times in 38 YEARS of smoking to COPE with life on life's terms - I TRIED TO NOT SMOKE - since 1988 - I tried the nicotine patch - the nicotine gum - the free seminars with panels of people telling their NICOTINE stories of RECOVERING from NICOTINE ADDICTION - I tried with smoking less nicotine - I tried filter and not filter - I tried and failed - I kept trying binge quitting - YET - smoke and smoke again and again was MY dilemma - then I finally admitting -  that since I was a born again Christian and had already given up tons of other sins - I could smoke - I wasn't as bad a sinner as OTHER'S - I told MYSELF anythng to keep SUCKING on DEATH -  I would convince MYSELF that other people get CANCER NOT ME - I am saved and NOT like THEM- I Bible read and study everyday - I go to church - I volunteer to HELP elderly - I give money to charities -  I don't use alcohol anymore to COPE with MY insides secrets - I go to support groups - so I don't live other people's lives - I am a RECOVERING person who WAS addicted to people approval - I dealt with MY childhood rape by MY father - ages 6 to 16 yrs old - PROFESSIONAL therapy and have a bible support group for child rape survivors - I eat healthier - I exercise daily - I deserve to smoke because I am a good person - I have changed and I am God's beloved daughter in Christ Jesus - I would tell MYSELF all this - to remove any guilt or REAL TRUTH - that I was addicted to NICOTINE and I COULDN'T quit on MY OWN - I was powerless over NICOTINE  - then one morning I took a SUGGESTION - made to ME to go watch EARLY DEATH video's. - about NICOTINE addiction at whyquit.com - Bryon's video -  brought ME out of MY LIEING TO MYSELF - MY denial - Dont even know I am lieing to MYSELF - MY DENIAL WAS FULL OF RELIGIOUS HAUGHTY PRIDE- remember I am talking about ME not anyone else - thank you -  I emailed - his family THANKING them for saving MY life through SHARING Bryon early DEATH from using NICOTINE - I tried to quit using NICOTINE on MY own - while reading the blogs here in October 2011 - I went from using 50 DEATH STICKS a day to 1 or 3 a day and then BACK TO 50 A DAY -  MY vicious -  PRIDE  -  I - I - I -  that said -  I WILL QUIT ON MY OWN -  I didn't - then in January - I fell to MY knees and prayed - Dear Jesus.s - if you don't take these cigs from ME I will smoke then until I drop dead in Jesus name amen - then the next morning on January 6 , 2011- COLD TURKEY QUIT - I NEVER TOOK ANOTHER PUFF over ME or MY life on life's terms - ONLY by God's grace  - that's WHY November 1st 2019 is GRATITUDE MONTH for ME - I pray and lift up this SITE and ALL THE PEOPLE and surrender ALL to MY Lord Jesus and continue to thank MY God for MY NON SMOKER LIFE in MY Lord Jesus name - ONE day at a time and MY CHOICE to break down MY DAY to minutes - YESTERDAY MY sister in Christ - her husband passed into heaven - dying from cancer - thanks for letting ME just be ME - gentle hug

indingrl.01.06.2011

GOD COMFORTS ME

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Oct 25, 2019

God who is the Creator of ALL - comforts ME in HIS beauty of nature - as tears fill MY eyes and fall out of MY eyes-  I look up at ALL the BEAUTIFUL leaves - yellows and reds and brown and orange and green - these colors brighten MY out look - while I am dealing with MY reality - MY poor ME attitude - I prayed - I was thinking better than a wave of emotions HIT HARD - so I prayed and went to MY support group to share poor ME - then I was thinking better - then another wave of EMOTIONS - so I cried and I was relieved of MY poor ME - then I made MY GRATITUDE list and I was thinking better again - it is up to ME to CHOOSE -  positive THINKING -  not feelings - for they come and go - feelings are fickle and there will be many more to come in ME TODAY - I am responsible and I tell MY FEELINGS what to do - MY feelings no longer lead ME - I have 3 blood family members very ill and 2 of them saying - They will not be here much longer - and the other is just quietly SUFFERING - MY husband hours at work were CUT down to NO OVER TIME and money is CUT too - so now comes MY FAITH test - WAITING ON MY GOD -  WITH HIS JOY AS MY STRENGTH - not once was sucking on a CARTON of deaths sticks MY solution TODAY - MY solution was running to MY God FIRST and then to BLOG letting NEWBIES know - life on life's terms HAPPENS -  day by day into MY moments when -  I CHOOSE to ask MY God to fill ME with HIS love - joy and peace in MY Lord Jesus name amen-  gentle hug   

indingrl.01.06.2011

Traveling by CAR

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Oct 11, 2019

Traveling out of state - MY mama said she isn't going to make it much longer - MY sister who lives with her since high school is her caregiver and wants to go on vakay with her fiance - MY other sister asked ME to go with her to keep her company - I already made MY goodbye trip - I said for HER -  I would go with HER - I remember YEARS ago -  I was 3 months NICOTINE FREE- MY brother- in- love was killed by a drunk driver and it was MY 1st time traveling - as a NON SMOKER in March of 2011 - I came here for HELP - and was taught HOW to travel out of state without using MY DRUG NICOTINE to cope with driving - cheeeezee Louise - I really believed at that time in MY RECOVERY from NICOTINE driving was impossible - NOW when I drive TODAY using MY drug nicotine doesn't enter MY mind - I have learned to let everyone know where I am in RECOVERY - I am only ONE PUFF away - I have a brain TODAY and I use it - only by God's grace still a NON SMOKER heading out this morning - October 2019 -  8 YEARS and 9 MONTH'S as a NON SMOKER enjoying each DAY - MY God blesses ME with each NEW day and  I still come here each NEW day to HELP the next suffering NICOTINE ADDICT to HOPE - just like I was given HOPE back then and still given freely - TODAY - thanks for letting ME - REMEMBER the lesson of driving is possible as a NON SMOKER  - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF OVER ME OR DRIVING  - no matter what and please take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - for letting ME be ME - gentle hug 

Just a love note to MARK - OUR ON SITE MANAGER - WHO LOVES US AND KEEPS THIS SITE UP AND RUNNING WITH HEALTHY BLOGS FOCUSED ON - HUMANS RECOVERING FROM NICOTINE -  I VOTED MARK - OUR MOST VALUABLE PLAYER  - by HIS actions - to manage this site -  with ONE main objective- in UNITY -  to keep the PEACE  - to control the sharing in the blogs - respect - honor - love - sharing NON SMOKER LIVING - experience - strength - HOPE - with the freedom to blog by letting EVERYONE be themselves -  by YOU Mark - to make sure all needs are met in being HELPFUL to other's that desire to quit smoking - I believe YOU - Mark have been -  open minded with a willingness to accept EVERYONE -  with tons of personalities -  with tons of inner issues - in each human being - and YOU also allow all types of peoples and WELCOME ALL of them - and to just be themselves - RECOVERING NICOTINE ADDICTS  - YOU - MY beloved Mark - make sure each INDIVIDUAL - is seeking HELP for their personal NICOTINE issues and share their experiences - YOU very sincere in HELPING to point individuals in the right direction of their choice of RECOVERY -  that works for them individually in HELPING them to learn about NICOTINE ADDICTION- from the Mayo clinic EXteam information - and the peoples here from all over the WORLD - what a job and YOUR DOING GOOD handling all addictive personalities that clash every now and again and to let us work it out for OURSELVES - offering YOUR HELP when necesary to keep the PEACE and LOVE  -  I believe YOUR love of service - to those who are SUFFERING from NICOTINE addiction is -  AGAPE LOVE -  please know -  YOU - Mark are much appreciated and respected by ALL YOU do for EVERYONE here - a thankless job at times from humans who are selfish at times - yet I have experienced personally how YOU HELPED ME to grow up and NOT take offense as YOU taught ME - how to correct MY immature behavior in MY EARLY RECOVERY - when I was ignorant of spiritual boundaries set for this on- line support group for NICOTINE RECOVERY -  which is to remain focused on STAYING quit - NOT -  on winning a popularity contest - I grew up with YOUR HELP and I am so grateful that YOUR OUR ON SITE MANAGER -  gentle hug

indingrl.01.06.2011

ANONYMOUS❤

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Oct 2, 2019

Watch YOUR thoughts - they become YOUR words - Watch YOUR words - they become YOUR actions - Watch YOUR actions - they become YOUR habits - Watch YOUR habits - they become YOUR character - Watch YOUR character -for it becomes YOUR destiny - BY ANONYMOUS -   hmmmmmmmm - let ME pray BEFORE I open MY mouth in MY Lord Jesus name for HIS will - HIS plan - so HE will live HIS life through ME by HIS faith in ME by MY Holy Comforter leading and teaching ME amen - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you -   FACT -  I try to read ALL the blog's here to KEEP learning to grow and deal with MY reality of life on life's terms - as I choose to LEARN from YOUR experience to live in TODAY just like YOU and NOT TAKE ONE PUFF OVER ME  - hmmmmmmmm- what spiritual tool did ALL of YOU teach ME -  SUGGESTIONS - to say out loud to MYSELF for MYSELF - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER - N.O.P.E - SINAO - ONE day at a time - blog BEFORE I take that first PUFF over ME - come here FIRST and VENT to Y'ALL because I am a NON SMOKER - I am a NON SMOKER - MY destiny to STAY and REMAIN this MOMENT - HELPING pass on the HOPE - that TOGETHER in UNITY - NOT ONE PUFF EVER - Yahoooooooooo .- thank you ALL - bestest teachers ever! gentle hug

MY history of - MY NICOTINE ADDICTION - first puffs of NICOTINE for ME was from cigarette butts I collected off the street for MY grandma - directed to STAY on the NATIVE American side of town ONLY - I wasn't allowed on the WHITE people ONLY side of town - I grew up to LEARN -  to be a racist - against ALL races - THEY-  became the watch word  -  which became - any other peoples -  IF you weren't NATIVE AMERICAN -  I WAS NOT ALLOWED NEAR YOU - I learned to use alcohol and drug NICOTINE and perverted sex - all by age 4 - I was raised in this evil wicked vile dsyfunction by MY blood family which taught ME all I know from age 4 to age 62 yrs YOUNG in 2019 - God in HIS tender mercies had been transforming ME inside to be more Christ-like by MY Holy Spirit doing ALL the INSIDE work by rooting out litlle by little -  MY ingrained habitual patterns and habits - sometimes I become as DRY ADDICT and treat MYSELF mean and call MYSELF names -  just like they did when I was little - heathen - dirty little girl - fat little pig - fat cow - no good for nothing - I wish you were born a boy - MY mom said - I ruined her life- ALL these names and life training came from MY blood family - drunks - whores - drunk day and night - smoke filled houses and cars and raised in bars - these were MY learning places - I never understand when people ask - what story did YOUR mom-  read you at bed time - NOTHING - bedtime was rape time at 6yr old I was given to a 48 yr old man - MY mom married and I was his piece of ass - until I left the house at 16yr - this is MY history of using NICOTINE to escape -  to cope - to deal with memories of this crap TODAY - to STOP using MY  DRUG NICOTINE - I became a born again beliver in Christ Jesus MY Savior and Lord and MY Daddy God had to save ME from ME -  I would NOT -nor did I want to quit USING MY DRUG NICOTINE - I prayed -  Dear Jesus -  if YOU don't take these cigs from ME - I will smoke them until I drop dead in Jesus name amen - I went to bed and woke on January 6 - 2011 - COLD TURKEY QUIT - since then I am LIVING as a NON SMOKER - I have had to face MY immaturity and autopilot of OLD ADDICT behaviors - ALL rooted in MY INSIDES from MY childhood - sometimes I am NOT wiiling to admit complete defeat YET I have come to the end of MYSELF - I used NICOTINE to SMOKE at others- to SMOKE at change of life's - funerals - weddings - birthdays - problems - money woes - bills - accidents that happen and people end up dead  - I use to smoke 50 death sticks a day at everything - I lived in fantasy  and illusions - IF I smoked I REALLY believed -  life's issues would - GO AWAY - I would convince MYSELF after SMOKING -  50 death sticks in a day and I made it to bed - that night- I DID IT YAHHOOOOO I LIVED THROUGH THE CRAP OF THE DAY- I didn't think SMOKING was killing ME slowly - I thought I was LIVING and handling MY OWN life- Thanks to MY God and all of YOU - MY RECOVERY from NICOTINE family - using drug NICOTINE DOESN'T enter MY NEW MINDSET -  TODAY - I pray to God and by HIS grace and love HE gives ME - MY Lord Jesus to strengthen ME by MY Holy Comforter leading ME to deal with life on life's terms -  this month of October 2019 - for ME has had many deaths - IT HAPPENS- yet ALL these deaths are in MY family - ALL at once - I don't understand it ALL YET I will continue to TRUST in MY God no matter what - people say to ME - no one gets out of this world alive -  somtimes just being grateful to God was ALL I could DO for ME -  when I was born to this very minute - walking and STAYING MY age 62 and STAY grow up on the INSIDE - get professional HELP for other issues - this RECOVERY site - cannot HELP with other issues -  this RECOVERY site is to learn coping skills to - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER and to share MY experience - WHAT I use to be like and when I used MY DRUG NICOTINE to escape and cope over and over getting sicker physically - hacking cough - spitting out hunks of mucus - NOT TODAY - I was taught - HOW I STAY a NON SMOKER - TODAY. - by following - ALL YOUR examples - thank you ALL so much for HELPING ME to remain - open minded and to keep -  learning and growing and only by MY God's grace and love - MY God HEALING ME in HIS love and service to HELP the next suffering NICOTINE ADDICT to HOPE - IF WE CAN STAY NON SMOKERS SO CAN THEY - just choose for YOUR self in MY Lord Jesus name amen please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - thanks for letting ME just SHARE - gentle hug  

indingrl.01.06.2011

D.E.E.R.

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Sep 28, 2019

In the beginning of learning a NEW mindset -  i was learning to live as a NON SMOKER - and during this past week of going threw MY grief  -  I was over whelmed SUDDENLY  -  by a ball of EMOTIONS -  all at once - because I saw a Kawasaki motorcycle at the stop light - I remembered - MY adopted son Carlton was killed - end of August 2019 at 9pm in Oak Harbor, Washington - BAM!!! MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT-  DIED  - I went - TODAY - to MY support group for GRIEVING - it was SUGGESTED to ME - keep this in MIND when OVER stressed - physically - emotionally - mentally and spiritually - to BE gentle and kind to MY self -  and REMEMBER to take care of YOU - D. E.E.R. - the D is for Drinking WATER - the E is to EAT - the E is to EXERCISE - the R is to REST - D.E.E.R. - I needed simple solution to HELP ME - I get confused - I want to stay in bed - I want to sleep the GRIEF away - it is SUGGESTED to take care of ME THROUGH MY grieving - I NEVER think of using drug NICOTINE to cope- I BEEN A NON SMOKER TOO LONG TO USE MY EXCUSES OF OLD ADDICT MIND - NOT TODAY - MY NEW MINDSET - thinking is for ME - asking for HELP -  from those who have EMPATHY because THEY too have grieved loss of loved ones and remained NON SMOKERS - walking in their REALITY THROUGH the PAIN to heal and keep moving forward - to HELP others to learn - grow - heal and the pass on the love and solutions to unexpected GRIEVING - in this MOMENT - to let GRIEVING have its way and go THROUGH the pain - Drink water Eat Exercise Rest - D.E.E.R. while GRIEVING - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is my only aim - thank you - gentle hug

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