I counted on the fact that during my withdrawal, I’d miss smoking after eating, or when I first woke up, but I have been surprised at the strange things I’m missing since quitting.
I went to sharpen my pencils for a drawing and realized that I didn’t have the ashtray next to me anymore to put little bits of trash (like pencil shavings) in. I realize it’s not there whenever I pick a piece of lint off something, or whatever, just little stuff I always threw in the ashtray. I haven’t figured out what my alternative trash bin will be yet, but I’m sure I’ll think of something better than an ashtray to use. Maybe I’ll use one of my souvenir ashtrays or something? But I hate to have something sitting there looking like it’s waiting for a cigarette, so I guess I’ll have to go back to the drawing board on that idea.
When I took my husband to his doctor, we drove past the hospital. It dawned on me the many times while I would be stuck in the hospital with a loved one, and I’d use a smoke break as an excuse to leave the room for a while. I didn’t really need the smoke, I just needed air and some time away from the sadness or boredom, of hanging out in a hospital room all day. Now what excuse am I going to have to come up with if I’m stuck in the hospital with my mom or some other loved one, and I just need to get away? I guess if I keep eating as much as I have been this past week, a trip to the cafeteria or vending machines might work?
I began smoking at the age of 10, so at 55, my quit comes after an entire lifetime of smoking. I’m sure I’m just beginning to see all the ways nicotine slithered into my life in the past. I’m just grateful it’s going to stay there now - in my past - as I refuse to give up! I’m a non-smoker for life!
I can’t take credit for writing this, just repeating it:
Every minute, hour and day without a cigarette is a GIANT STEP toward becoming a happy, healthy non-smoker with a lot MORE MONEY in your pocket. KEEP GOING, DON’T LOOK BACK. You are STRONGER than those tiny rolls of paper and leaves and poison. GO DO SOMETHING ELSE. Make something. Read Something. Organize Something. KEEP ON BEING WHO YOU KNOW YOU ARE INSIDE. A healthier, happier NON-SMOKER.
Yesterday, when I woke up and decided to just throw my cigarettes and ashtray in the trash, I recalled the familiar saying “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” - well, I survived yesterday, so today is the second day of the rest of my smoke free life. When I suffer from a craving for a cigarette, I don’t think how great the cigarette would be, what I think is “did I really suffer thru yesterday for nothing???” Tomorrow — it will be did I really go thru two days, or three days, until I’m finally over this withdrawal and stop thinking of one.
Odd, what I didn’t expect is the desire for a cigarette last just seconds, multiple times a day, but the thing I didn’t see coming was this super hyper activity. My poor husband keeps asking me to please just quit talking! If I’m not talking, I’m singing, tapping my fingers or toes, or something. It’s like I can’t sit still.
I’m glad I don’t have to work, or really do anything important today, because my concentration is completely lacking as well.
But it will all be worth it - to be free of the horrible addiction to such a filthy habit. Hurray for the Second Day of the Rest of My Life!