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21 Posts authored by: Fee33

Hey y'all

Posted by Fee33 Dec 4, 2017

I've been doing good between my son's choir practice church and husband staying out of jail every other week I've been super busy plus Christmas is coming up an I've been doing some shopping and I haven't even got my Christmas tree up this week it will be my oldest is doing very well the one who's in a military group home he might have a home pass for Christmas I really hope he does. I miss him so much I got their rooms set up met his new probation officer he seems real nice got bunk beds for my other two an johnathan now has my room I just have a busy life I'm trying to keep it all together it's hard at times but I'm doing okay health has improved with stomach issues been on Prevacid it's help d alot I can't go without one everyday I am still 71 days clean from cigarettes not messing up my quit days for nothing or nobody got a new puppy y'all like her name is Milly Mae Cook she's a weenie dog /dashund!!!! Y'all have a great Christmas an New Year I will be back later on love y'all all  

Just Me

Posted by Fee33 Nov 6, 2017

Been real down a few days now I'm missing my oldest son I haven't heard from him since October 12 then on top of that stomach issues then on top of that my mother was diagnosed RA ritutoid arthritis her hands swell toes fingers she barley can walk she's only 53 and also my scope for a camera to be put down my stomach Wednesday and Thursday my court date to be off probation I'm nervous about everything haven't smoked a damn cigarette that's for sure I don't think about them at all like it's not a issue at all to me my dad came yesterday an brought me a big bag of back strap and deer sausage patties I cooked it last night with some good ole butter biscuits Everyone enjoyed them even "me" I told God this morning I said "God I don't know your plans for me but I'm trusting you anyways" just wanted to say love y'all all if it wasn't for y'all being so stern on me an being there with me through all the rants an raves hahahaha...I'm sure all remember them I don't think I could of got through my craves plus reading a whole lot too 42 DOF whoorahhhh!!!! Thank y'all for taking time to read my blog will keep all updated when I come back Wednesday from my appointment remember they or gonna sedate me so y'all gotta wait til I can be normal enough to speak on here have a great day!! 

Feeling Unpretty

Posted by Fee33 Oct 27, 2017

So of course I'm on a laxative an I manage to put makeup on anyways I never wear it an I'm trying to be happy an look alive but I feel just dead an my kids r off from school an all an weekends we usually well I usually cook all kinds of snacks I don't have the energy to do any of it an I know they understand I'm on a laxative this laxative so strong it makes not even wanna drink liquids why bc as soon as I drink something  I'm running it goes right through me my doctor was not playing when he prescribed this **** I'm just feeling down y'all  

White Powder Substance

Posted by Fee33 Oct 27, 2017

Don't like this new powder laxative it literally is draining me I feel like depressed Because I can't stop using the bathroom I can't wait til I get the scope done so I can get back to normal again I hate this so much and my husband has to go spend 2 days actually tomorrow night in jail for two days his PO found out he was drinking on his bday but he wouldn't admit it and they gave him two days in jail well drugcourt did so there you go! Today has been tiring an I don't feel like doing anything today but I have two bright shiney faces who depend on my smile an depend on my good Southern food I go to stop feeling sorry for myself woman up and do what I suppose to do. It said on my app 33 days of Freedom but I quit the 24 of September 2017 can y'all tell me how many days I've been clean from cancer sticks??

Update on Appointment

Posted by Fee33 Oct 26, 2017

Okay so I have to do a EGD on Wednesday on November 8th at 10:45 he said the ammonia is least of his worries that's nothing to worry about also what he's worried about is my labs show platelets being high he said don't worry we will figure it all out and find out why your stomach bloats an why your labs r always abnormal he said you been tested for hemp abc I said yes he said yes I seen all negative he said okay you have a history of stomach cancer on your dad's side of the family I said yes I do my mawmaw passed away from it he said okay when you come back for this test I will have answers for you. So I will be sedated so I need a driver lol who wants to drive me hahaha jk jk my husband is gonna be there with me y'all all keep me in yall prayers

My Gi Appointment Nerves Bad

Posted by Fee33 Oct 26, 2017

This morning is my Gi Appointment leaving by 9:30am doctor appointment at 11:45 so I am up this morning has been so interesting it's so much going on since yesterday situation but I really hope I don't get any bad news today at all I am ready to just get better get back in church bc I've been missing church due to be on a laxative everyday lactulose is what my doctor put me on anyways I hope it's nothing to serious just asking everyone to keep me in yall prayers Tuesday night I decided to marry Chris we both been going to meetings together I'm supporting him more and when he has a meeting I go everytime no call on jobs yet also trying to see about working at Walmart filled app out an everything doing over night stocking it's laid back hopefully someone calls me. Y'all all have a blessed Thursday 30 DOF Felicia aka Fee

My deepest feelings

Posted by Fee33 Oct 20, 2017

As I go to bed I think man I had hell all day with a man who is so hopeless an so lost if I wasn't in his life i really can't tell you where he would be you know we went  to see my friend tonight thats like 20 miles away from us and I had to drive back home bc he was so drunk and I told him he's not driving an he didn't argue for once with me I also feel I'm to forgiving too it's so late and Im just feel real deep into the situation about how my life is gonna be with a Alcoholic an literally his consequences or jail time not rehab he done went there an completed it an he's been 3 months sober now he's relasping after a relaspe and I'm totally enabling him why bc I drinked the first time I found out my son was getting sent to a military group and I couldn't handle none of my emotions an I said I'm drinking to forget even if it's for a second r a minute i took it really hard. He was my first born child an going Into a military group home at the age of 13 noone knows how I felt when that happened an the last words I heard was I love you Mama pray for me anyways I drinked an what my ex do drinked too bc he said he couldn't handle the situation either an since then he's been relasping over an over an I feel it's all my fault bc if I didn't take that first drink he would of never relasped but I am not a Alcoholic I drink I'm done with it him he don't know when to stop he was so drunk his breathlizer was showing stroke range an he was as calm as a cucumber acted sober seriously but breathlizer said different that didn't even scare him!!!! I'm scared he's gonna drink one day an just die!!!! It's so much going on tonight in my head..we been through so much an he's lost wo me but I do know for him to stay sober I have to stop drinking to even when I'm stressed don't drink but I'm such a cheap drunk like I can drink 2 shots an I'm messed up why bc I'm not a drinker at all! Lol I never really cared for it at all just did it an done never kept on drinking an drinking that's what he does he doesn't know when to stop bc he doesn't like to detox so he drinks small portions to keep him from detoxing an that never helps him he thinks it does til they really hit hard then he is miserable I knowwww I took care of his detoxing nights an days puking screaming raging cussing at me why bc I wouldn't let him get a bottle I wouldn't let him drive to get more alcohol I told.him you just gotta get through it an I'm not going anywhere I gave him cold rags fan blowing on him bc he's sweating beads of sweat down his face an body soaked the sheets now he weighs 250pds imagine how heavy he was for me to get him off the floor an to the toilet to puke an then in shower to shower it's miserable yall have no clue unless you delt with a Alcoholic yourself then you can understand why I'm explaining all this bc I've been there an done it an went through it with him an I'm still here hoping something will change Aalon I actually went to a meeting once when I lived out of my home town I wish they had one close by me but they don't but I'm sorry this is such a long blog but I do appreciate you stopping by to read my blog I'm going through so much an I feel it's all my fault at times. Well have a goodnight y'all 

Feeling so unappreciated

Posted by Fee33 Oct 20, 2017

By Everyone today my soon to be husband bday today an I been up since 9am to cook his bday supper fried chicken an pistoletes and fries an then a German cake for his bday hes a drunk an he doesn't listen to me he doesn't care how bad he hurts me and I'm marrying him um no I took my ring off an there's not gonna be a wedding at all! I'm feeling like smoking y'all like real bad craving like just throw my hands up an say f it an just smoke bc he's drinking an he told he he wouldn't at all an he's back drinking but doesn't want me to smoke at all but he's not holding up his end of the bargain at all I'm done y'all forral done 

Can I say Impressed!!!

Posted by Fee33 Oct 19, 2017

So I'm chewing minty gum usually this makes me wanna smoke a cigarette uh no craves to at all I'm like thinking to myself your mind is your worst enemy like seriously I always had a piece of gum in my mouth when I smoked bc my husband would say your breath smells like a ashtray I'm like what!!!!!! He's like seriously babe well since I've stopped smoking even smelling it makes me nauseated and then im wanting to tell them hey y'all don't know it but those cigarettes stink an you don't realize it til you stop smoking like yes your clothes really stink your breath Everything just stop for a few days an you will regret ever smoking js....but then I'm like I might offend them by just going up randomly saying those things lol just imagine me telling strangers hey those things stink hahahahaha....that would be bad lol but yes I can chew a piece of minty gum and it doesn't trigger me to smoke at all I'm so impressed an feel all giddy inside lol thanks for reading my blog! Xoxo Felicia

You got to want to quit

Posted by Fee33 Oct 19, 2017

When I say this I'm meaning this if you don't wanna quit smoking cigarettes you want I realized something about myself yesterday all the nicotine out my system now I think it wasn't the nicotine I missed it was something to put in my mouth an between my fingers was something I was addicted to most of all bc when I think about smoking my stomach burns an I'm like saying NOPE NOPE I mean over an over again and then I ask myself felicia you been 24 DOF WO SMOKING why would you wanna mess that up you came so far an y'all know what I don't want a cigarette anymore like it instantly leaves my mind so fast! So my blog today is this when I quit smoking cigarettes it's because I wanted to quit smoking not because I had too I wanted this more then anything an I prayed about it and then just did it an today an may not seem alot to y'all that I have 24 days of Freedom of nasty cigaretts but it means so much to me I seen elders an their DOF an I'm like wow I so wanna be there to!!! So everyday without a cigarette is how I'm continue my journey of becoming smoke free for life. Thanks for taking your time out to read my blog xoxo Fee

Flu shot an Ammonia

Posted by Fee33 Oct 12, 2017

Yes I'm getting the flu shot tomorrow and I'm feeling a little better an when I say a little better  my nose is unstopping slowly an now it's all in my throat and my glucose levels was high an I have ammonia  in my blood stream an I'm just a sick sick woman they put me on a laxative due to clear up ammonia in my blood stream this is the second time does anyone know what this means an why this keeps happening? And he's referring me to a GI specialist! He thinks it's my liver Because my liver enzymes was elevated this is not the first time you guys an NO I don't drink alcohol an years ago I did but wasn't a heavy drinker. 

Flu meds

Posted by Fee33 Oct 11, 2017

Okay so I'm like way worst today I've been drinking thereflu however you spell it with some whiskey fire ball a tsp aka hottie toddie my head is Killing me so bad please keep me In your prayers as you go about your day today I am laid up on my couch with my comforter an pillow my kids r getting ready for school it is 6:41 am here I'm on antibiotics aleve an therflu drink and cough drops an alot of tissue for my raw little nose I'ma a sick mama I'ma gone to sleep love y'all all! 17 DOF "felicia 

Oh Nooooo

Posted by Fee33 Oct 8, 2017

So my sisterlaw came over yesterday stayed till 7pm she's a smoker well shes like Felicia wanna come outside well I've been quit smoking for almost two weeks and I was like she's family let's just test the waters so she was smoking and it didn't bother me like as in wanting to smoke too I was like so proud of myself an she even mention I need to stop smoking these cigarettes r high I said yup I'm glad I quit but the kicker is this I guess smelling all that smoke got me sick my throat is so scratchy an it's like agravating scratchy throat I never Harley get sick but I just checked my son's temp my baby cj temp he's my 9 year old his temp is 99.7 he's running low grade fever so yes I got some sick little boys an Jeron was sick when I got him with a stopped up nose but he's getting better now I'm sick but I don't drink r eat anything after cj r my other son jeron either its my time to get sick I guess r the smoke what y'all think might be??? Any comments accepted

Well here is Sunday

Posted by Fee33 Oct 8, 2017

Getting ready for church with my family Jeron is here  he's been here since Friday and he's just so happy to be here on 14 DOF well all I'm doing good I want be on here as much but I will check in from time to time an let y'all all know how I'm doing being smoke free have a blessed Sunday Everyone

12 Days of Freedom

Posted by Fee33 Oct 6, 2017

Yes I can say I am on 12 DOF I am so thankful an blessed to say I am smoke free now that's something to brag about yes ma'am an yes sir my parents or so happy with my quit my soon to be husband is even happier with my quit and especially my son's they can't believe it I have to pinch myself at times an say Felicia is this true and I say yes it is!!! Woohrahhh!!!! 

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