indingrl

UP 

Blog Post created by indingrl on Jan 10, 2021

I am SOOOOO grateful to be UP and moving by placing one foot in front of the other and remembering to NOT hold MY breath - OLD HABIT from MY evil childhood - I just tell MYSELF let GO

I am SOOOOO grateful to be a NON SMOKER

 

Gosh I remember when I was here EVERY waking hour of EACH day because I did not WANT to smoke - I STAYED on this site EVERYDAY for FIRST 90 days of learning to WALK as a non smoker inside and NOT to let MY FEELING THINKING LEAD EVER and - ALL DAY - I read and read and read - reading EVERYTHING offered here by EX and at whyquit.com - I love Joel - please I am talking about ME only - not YOU or ANYBODY else - I loved reading the personal blogs - sooooo filled with wisdom for STAYING A NON SMOKER - it was MY choice to learn by picking out -  MY OWN QUIT TOOLS and -  to be willing as the dying maybe to BECOME a non smoker day by day and - I was on this site ALL day - EVERYDAY - because - I did NOT WANT TO DIE - I smoked 50 cigs a day -and I tried on MY own to STOP smoking - example -  I would stop smoking 50 a day and ALL BY MY SELF WILL run riot - I got down to 2 or 3 a day - then BAM - 50 a day AGAIN - I learned that I was a NICOTINE ADDICT and I was EXpecting that I could STOP on MY own - then it was SUGGESTED to surrender to MY Higher Power WHO for ME is MY Daddy God - please I am talking about ME not YOU or anybody else - so I put as much into - STAYING a NON SMOKER - as I did into - SUCKING ON 50 DEATH STICKS A DAY- SUGGESTION was made by those here with YEARS of walking as NON SMOKERS FILLED with love and serving others and I took their SUGGESTIONS

I stayed on this site EDUCATING MYSELF about MY triggers and patterns and habits and ideas which were for ME - ALL ROOTED IN FEELING THINKING- MY old addict mindset - I WANT a cigarette - I have NEVER had A cigarette - I FEEL like a cigarette - MY FEELING THINKING lead ME around to SUCK ON DEATH for 38 YEARS and I SUCKED ON DEATH ALL DAY LONG - hence - the reason that I STAYED on this site -  ALL DAY LONG - I am sooooo grateful to MY Daddy God for EVERYBODY HERE and - it was SUGGESTED -  to STOP and take 3 deep breaths BEFORE I take action to DO anything - to ASK questions - is - MY auto feeling thinking LEADING ? I want and I think and I feel BIG BABY trying to play God in others peoples lives by MY FEELING THINKING trying to run the world by what-  the great ME is FEELING THINKING - MY PRIDE saying - that I know YOU or ANYBODY - better then THEY know themselves ? HMMMMMM - I STOP and pray and then say to MYSELF - Did YOU or ANYBODY ASK for ME to DO something for THEM????  No - NO - they did NOT ask ME - so I learned to take MY OWN SIN inventory and ONLY by MY Daddy Gods grace -  I am STAYING A NON SMOKER and enjoying MY life day by day -  as I wait for DEATH to call on MY mama who is in HOSPICE - FYI - I do NOT handle DEATH well and -  as I live this day ONLY in love and service to OTHERS -  by SHARING-  MY truth about MY experience at STAYING a non smoker this DAY only and -  by the EXamples of EVERYBODY here - just living ONE moment at a time and each day waking UP and moving - one foot in front of the other and by ME minding MY own business - and giving the HONOR for ALL others to live as they WANT and remembering there is a God and I am NOT Him -in MY Lord Jesus name amen - please I am taking about ME not YOU or anybody else - and - YES - ALL of Heaven is rejoicing and clapping and saying - FINALLY she surrendered -and I am -  LAUGHING WITH THEM AND I AGREE

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