Toughest Friday

Blog Post created by green1611 on Dec 21, 2020

I am seven years plus from smoking ....However I remember the day 10 and 11 of my quit. 


I was away from my family for my job, and used to fly down to home alternate week end. So the Friday, I am mentioning now, that was the toughest Friday.


This Friday I was not travelling, so at my residence, alone !  Generally I used to go out for walk on Friday evening (when I am not travelling to home), then have good dinner and a couple of cigarette smoke. The next day morning, i.e. Saturday, I would get up, make tea/coffee and go out for smoke (designated place), followed by reading book. I used to love reading books on history, psychology etc. After having read for say three hours, I will make one more tea/coffee, and go out for smoke. (Never smoked in the house where I stayed). Come back, relax and enjoy Saturday, and following day Sunday. Since I was alone, this was my “best practice” to push boring a week (or weak) end, which was away from family.


That Friday, since morning, I had huge cravings. It was day 10 or 11. I was absolutely confused, made errors in my work, not able to drive, could not attend phone calls etc etc. I did not eat proper food whole day.  And as the sun settling down the earth, I felt like I myself went below earth.  Absolutely stunned, could not do any thing… just sat on chair with tears in my eyes. The mind was busy, what do I do next morning? My most favourite program of tea/coffee/smoking and reading has no place at all.  I was feeling that I am lost (the previous evening itself), I will not be able to tolerate quit on the very first Saturday where I am away from my family. The mind was asking, if you can not sustain, then go out now... and smoke a one cigarette. Just go, go go there out on the corner where you used to smoke. Go go go go....ten million times..go go....!!


I did not go to smoking designated place. No. I sustained the quit. Instead I went out for brisk walk. Walked five miles. Came home, had my usual favourite tea. And something happened, my inner voice softly said, don't smoke.. you will not smoke!!! You will be able to sustain Saturday away from family without smoking ...... keep it up !




And I saved myself from relapse on that day !!!