Blog Post created by indingrl.01.06.2011 on Aug 2, 2020

I would smoke through EVERYTHING - please I am talking abour ME not anyone else - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - thank you - I SMOKED for MY - living and walking - talking - feelings deranged from childhood memories of being raped by MY drunken parents and breathing in HATE and emotionally twisted in HATE from a child victim from age 4 to 34 years old - MY perspective was so twisted -  ALL the time -  I would say -  I hate this life - I hate her - I hate him - I hate MY ma and dad for what THEY did to ME since I was 4 years old - I hate you - most of ALL - I HATED ME - I would SMOKE CARTONS of cigarettes over ME and everytime the memories came of those Catholic nuns in the orphange who - taught ME HOW THEIR God HATED NATIVE American children who spoke Sioux language and I was taught to hate since I was 4 - I SMOKED MY first cigarette butt at age 4 - I picked it up off the streets - MY grandma sent ME and MY sister out with a coffee can to collect all cigarette butts off the street - me and this boy SMOKED some of the butts -  I was NATIVE American - a Whapton Sioux from Lake traverse reservation and the Catholics took ALL children and beat us into white speaking Catholic forced religion into us by beatings and HATE out of THEIR mouths to us heathen children  - WE became HATE FILLED Catholic children - I HATED ALL THE TIME - long story short in 1988 - I went to PROFESSIONAL therapy and sorted out the PEOPLE and MY Daddy God operated in ME - to cut ME out of the lives of other's - I was NEVER created to live other's sins - I still HATE the sin in some Catholics nuns and Father's that rape children TODAY in 2020 -  now TODAY - in God's TIME HE has been cleansing ME in MY Lord Jesus blood for 33 YEARS by MY Holy Spirit bringing REAL truth about ME and ME only - to own what was MINE and surrender ALLthe rest to MY Daddy God - for HIS vengeance on those in MY CHILDHOOD - I am HEALED in alot of area's in MY heart and soul -  I learned HOW - to cope with ME and MYSELF and MIRACLES have happened to ME HEALED of cirrhosis of the liver in 2005 - miracle I was that I was SOBER 18 YEARS at that TIME and miracle in 2005 at the same TIME -  doctor's diagnosed to remove MY gallbladder - HEALED of cirrhosis and HEALED gallbladder - on MY medical record's - 4 doctor's shocked and they sent ME home at night - I no longer SMOKE to hate MYSELF - I no longer SMOKE to hate YOU - I NO longer HATE - MY Daddy God gave ME a FREE gift of HIS love - 1 Corinthians chapter 15 verses 1- 4 - the free gift of eternal Salvation - to just BELIEVE -  no WORKING for it is ALL by God's grace - I had to read in the Bible for MYSELF - try it for YOURSELF - read it and choose to believe God or NOT - so I did on November 6 , 1986 - I believed God and took HIM at HIS word - I am a NON SMOKER - TODAY filled with God's love in UNITY for ALL here with ONE main objective - I will NOT smokr over YOU not SHARING on MY blog because YOU HATE YOURSELF - I will NOT take ONE PUFF over YOUR rejecting YOURSELF - I will continue to SHARE - God is love with any whosoever and ONLY by God's grace -  MY childhood memories of MY rape - no longer holds ME a victim - I made peace with MY Ma and MY dad in 1986 and MYSELF also and with MY Daddy God -  to believe - TODAY - I am loveable and worthy to live FREE -  no longer living for people approval - I am joyful and with peacefulness in knowing -  I am recovering NICOTINE ADDICT- ONE DAY at a time  -  who is set FREE - because ONLY by God's grace - I am deeply loved and highly favored and richly blessed in Christ Jesus finished work on HIS cross for ME - I NO longer SMOKE over anything OR YOU and for this I am GRATEFUL- it is written - God is love - and MY belief is MY Daddy God blesses ME with ALL of YOU here to teach ME - NeverTakeAnotherPuffEver - to ME - some of  Y'ALL are MY God with skin on - in UNITY -  together -  WE - N.O.P.E