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233 pounds 

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Apr 30, 2020

Please I am talking about ME not anyone else - so please take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim thank you - 225 pounds in March and April is ending with ME weighing 233 pounds - to COPE with MY life -  I made poor CHOICES personally - to comfort MY FEELINGS of powerlessness - I CHOSE to eat ice cream and cookies and pies and cakes and donuts - YET I did keep exercising day by day - I use to say - I smoked on DEATH STICKS to stay skinny - I stayed skinny because I would not eat for 3 months - I just lived off a ton of white sugar and creme in a little coffee - it was the white sugar that -  I am ADDICTED too - just like I was to NICOTINE - MY.NEW MINDSET just for TODAY -  I sat after weighing MYSELF and reading the scale - I felt the FEELINGS of disappointment of 233 pounds - it was MY TRUTH - which I had already knew in MY heart - since no one forced cakes OR pies OR cookies OR ice cream in MY mouth  - I am the PROBLEM. - so I took inventory and sat while listening to a speaker talking on a spiritual answer for ME and I made wise choices today eating - I didn't go to - OLD idea's -  like another diet OR fasting to lose wt - I prayed for TODAY - I am GRATEFUL to share MY ups and downs of ACCEPTING MYself and MY choices wise or unwise to still love MYSELF just as I am and be ok with EACH day I learn in 1987 that  - GOD DON'T MAKE JUNK and to speak kind and loving to MYSELF while learning -  each time I failed to lose weight - to CHANGE MY FEELING THINKING to just STOP and think what I am thinking about on the inside and with God's love - I choose to eat more veggies instead of white sugars -  when I get emotionally deranged while admitting MY truth of running to FOOD for comfort doesn't work for ME - I have tried to escape from MY emotions all MY life - THROUGH MANY thing's - now I SHARE MY mistakes - MY unwise choices with anyone - to give HOPE  - I am GRATEFUL to set a NEW goal on HEALTHY eating without escaping to sucking on DEATH STICKS - thanks for letting ME release MY TRUE EMOTIONS of MY immaturity to accept - I am a healthy 233 pound NON SMOKER who is willing to admit MY weaknesses and NOTTAKEONEPUFFEVER and keep being much MORE aware when I am about to eat MY FEELINGS to journal on paper until they are ALL released without running to food - hmmmmmmm - let go and let God - love MYSELF through - hmmmmmm- live and let live - ask MYSELF questions - am I hungry - if NOT - what truth about ME am I trying to run from OR am I just missing HEAVEN MY true home - hmmmmmm- I will choose to sit quite and WAIT and watch for God's miracles -  hmmmmmm - like coming here and blogging MY sadness and HOPE that there are other's just like ME - who experienced some days are just that -  a LEARNING day and from MY experince - I know that cancer will happen by choosing to suck on DEATH STICKS over gaining weight - that is NOT the solution for ME - making a NEW wiser plan -  like writing down FEELINGS -  instead of stuffing them down with white sugars is better than SUCKING ON DEATH STICKS -  I am learning and God is healing ME INSIDE and Y'ALL HELP ME to continue to grow and KNOW MY greatest enemy is ME - hmmmmmmmm- this too shall pass       


Self Talk

Posted by nevergiveup Apr 28, 2020

I'm sure someone else has to have had this heading before but so be it. For all I know I might have already used it...didn't check. Lol 


My middle name seems to be Restart and, that's okay. I've used my phone a friend option today. Her name is Jill aka Angel in case I haven't mentioned her here before. Although I was hoping to talk to her by phone a little later tonight it happened earlier but that too is okay because it helped. Every so often I seem to have a tendency to mentally slip into my old way of thinking. And while yes, I believe nicotine addiction is pretty darn brutal, I'm not convinced it's always the drug talking. Addiction = mental control, or lack thereof in my opinion. Simple theory, not always easy to break as with any cyclic behavior...again only my opinion.


When I crawl in bed tonight the determined me will have been smoke free for a total of three days again. Hesitant and a little embarrassed to blog but much better out than in. I've got a plan and also a little stash bag I now carry with me when I go which, right now is, pretty much to the post office cause you know, we're all living in this organized chaos of this apocalypse. Seriously though, I have at least one list of things to do instead of smoking nearby, am getting outside frequently (no cancer stick in hand) and have started walking my dog once a day. Will keep on keepin' on. Thanks for listening, as always. Yeah, I know my count is off. I'll get around to fixing it.


Quitting smoking isn't fun but it's much, much better than the mirage of lighting up the just one that no longer exists.

Grateful, thankful, blessed.   Martha

Gosh it is so wonderful to not HAVE to use NICOTINE - In MY PAST - I sucked on DEATH sticks because I got up - I had to suck on DEATH STICKS because I had to poop - I sucked on DEATH STICKS because I had to talk - I sucked on DEATH STICKS because I had to go to the store - because I had to drive - I sucked on DEATH STICKS because I will NOT let out MY true feelings about MYSELF or all person's in MY life out - I sucked on DEATH STICKS to keep ALL secrets and feelings and thoughts inside - I sucked on DEATH STICKS because I didn't know how to share MY inner most secrets of MY evil childhood - I sucked on DEATH STICKS because I drank alcohol to cope with childhood rapes at age 4 years old until I was 16 years old - TODAY I am FREE from NICOTINE - TODAY I am free from food - white sugar and greasy fried anything addictions and chocolate and caffine and alcohol and drugs and people pleasing addictions - and MANY more miracles in MY Lord Jesus- also in MY PAST - I was an ADULT - yet inside I was a 4 year old and filled with self hate and SELF twisted perspectives of a God - that other's taught ME and with an obsession to eat and suck on DEATH STICKS - 50 DEATH STICKS A DAY at the end of MY sucking on DEATH   to COPE and survive day by day this rotten life of MINE - the OLD ME is dead - I am reborn with a NEW MINDSET -  NEW THINKING not feeling thinking - NEW ideas from NON SMOKERS living their lives and willing to teach ME - I ACCEPT SUGGESTIONS - I no longer live TODAY in MY past - TODAY - I am grow up on the inside - TODAY - I live in the present MOMENTS of MY DAY - I still am willing to ask for HELP and to learn from other's and to grow and let MY Daddy God heal ME inside and set ME FREE in MY Lord Jesus by HIS love and grace and tender mercies brought to ME by ALL of YOU here - who are now MY beloved family and WHO teach ME - by being examples of living life on life's terms  - TODAY - YES TODAY - I do NOT HATE MYSELF - I am 63 YEARS YOUNG inside and out -  I am no longer a prisoner of SELF victim bondage living in MY past -  I accepted MY Daddy God's free gift of Salvation by taking the SUGGESTION - to read the Bible for MYSELF - to read 1 Corinthians chapter 15 verses 1 - 4 - the Gospel of grace - for MYSELF - make MY own decision to believe or not believe God  - I have FREE will and by just believing - what I read and taking God at HIS word by faith - I BELIEVE God's word just for ME and I accepted God's FREE gift of eternal Salvation - it is that simple - I got PROFESSIONAL therapy for CHILDHOOD issues and TODAY - I am 9 YEARS LIVING as a NON SMOKER - I live ONE day at a time and I made peace with God and MY inner SELF - I no longer suck on DEATH STICKS for any reason - TODAY I ask God for HELP and HE blesses ME - day by day with this support group and many others  - MY recovering loving NON SMOKER family TODAY I dance and praise and thank MY Daddy God for FREEDOM from bondage of SELF and FREEDOM from NICOTINE - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Apr 27, 2020

TODAY is nice for ME because I woke up in FREEDOM from MY OLD NICOTINE lifestyle - MY FREEDOM TODAY - I thank MY God and I thank ALL of YOU here for teaching ME -  to live in this DAY only and to HELP others above MYSELF - to just BLOG first and SHARE - this I was taught 9 YEARS ago - it is still working - BLOG to share OR help OR just to do it - because it was SUGGESTED to ME to HELP others above MYSELF - so I would be HELPED too - thanks EVERYONE - Y'ALL are the BESTEST NON SMOKERS living FREE examples - YOU like YOUR personal DAY of FREEDOM - TODAY is all I really have to enjoy - be happy - be JOY filled in MY heart - I have a loving recovering family that WALK in God's love - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is my only aim - thank you that's what keeps ME coming back - YOUR love for one another in UNITY to - NeverTakeAnotherPuffEver -and - to stand together in -  NotOnePuffEver - ONLY by God's grace it is working in ME - TODAY'S  3399 DAYS of FREEDOM -  in MY Lord Jesus name amen - HOORAY FOR JESUS

It's amazing looking back into our smoking years Mark smoked for 43 yrs and for at least the last 2 yrs or so I was very concerned about his coughing especially at night so he finally saw his Dr and had xrays done and another set with the markers and then a ct scan by the time Mark saw his Dr for results he'd already had over a month quit thankfully he only had mild emphysema in the meantime I continued to smoke outside of course believing I was just fine BUT at a Dr's appointment after listening to my lungs he sent me for a breathing test which showed mild copd which shocked me at first BUT after 40 yrs of smoking what did I Expect! I realized most of my coughing and choking were in the mornings where Mark coughed more at night anyway it's a wonder that neither of us didn't hork up a lung or possibly even both BUT thankfully not anymore because WE DON'T DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE!!! Everyone can be Smokefree it's a choice and it's definetly the best choice anyone of us will ever make AND it's definetly the best gift that any of us will ever give ourselves which is the gift of LIFE.... if you haven't quit YET now is the time to bite the bullet and take back your life and if you're struggling with remaining quit stay close because we're all here to help you in any way we can you can do this quit believe it deep breaths and keep moving forward stacking up those precious Days Of Freedom so each evening you can say YAY for another Day WON it's definetly not easy by any stretch of the imagination BUT thankfully it's DOABLE.....


We will perservere through whatever life throws at us N.M.W - No Matter What because in order to live a Smokefree Life then we must choose to stick with N.O.P.E and vigilance PLUS it's up to us to look after ourselves because if we don't nobody else can do it for us and our lives literally deserves the very best that life has to offer and that is Freedom from the clutches of the dreaded nicotine poison....



How about a blonde joke hee hee LOL! 

Sticking with N.O.P.E and vigilance N.M.W. will give us a LIFE of Freedom....

 I choose an attitude of gratitude to MY Daddy God for HIS love and grace upon grace to breathe HIS BREATHE into ME by FAITH in MY Lord Jesus and I stand in MY personal faith that I am being lead by MY Holy Spirit of MY own free will to BELIEVE MY Daddy Gods Holy Word to share - God's GOOD news - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - God's good news is in HIS Bible in 1 Corinthians chapter 15 verses 1- 4 - that is called the Gospel of grace for all who choose to just believe what YOU just read in YOUR OWN HEART - it's ALL on YOU and take God at HIS Word - now TODAY is EARTH day -  so if YOU choose to spend some saved money YOU have - since YOUR not SUCKING on DEATH STICKS TODAY - and plant a tree so OUR next generations will BREATHE cleaner air - or plant a tree - for WHATEVER or whomever YOU CHOOSE to honor in remembrance of the love they passed on to YOU - please it is just a SUGGESTION - in HIS love and service - NeverTakeAnotherPuffEver over ME and let's STAY FOCUSED on this DAY -  in UNITY - loving each other to NotOnePuffEver



Posted by Thelastquit2019 Apr 21, 2020

I have been doing some reflecting and I think I have come to the conclusion that Although I’ve already done a lot of first things smoke free .There are still a lot left to experience .I couldn’t figure out why I had some strong smoking thoughts recently.But now I realize that this is my first spring/summer ,I had my first birthday this week smoke free as well .Now I know what’s going on I can recognize it and instead  be extremely happy I have more smoke free experiences under my belt  with many more to come .Please remember to always stay connected to your quit and you will never loose it .Thats what I’ve learned this week .Thank you to everyone ,you have all played a part in my continued quit .


6 months and counting

Posted by Augustus44 Apr 21, 2020

I hadn't realized it until a few moments ago. I've made it for 6 months today. Thank you to all who have encouraged my quit. I know that there may be trials ahead, but I really feel confident that I can continue. I hope that everyone is well during this pandemic. I'm at risk being 75, but without the cigs clogging my lungs and messing up every other organ, I'm just cocky enough to think that I have what it takes to beat this thing. I've never been so healthy in my whole like. I'll continue to take precautions, and follow guidelines, but dammit, I'm tough now--I no longer worry whether or not, those damned cigarettes are going to get me. If you are like I am, congratulations--we done good!!!!!!!



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Apr 20, 2020

I started yesterday walking -re-training MY body to walk again from being a couch potatoe - please talking about ME -please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you  -I want to enjoy walking in MY NEW orthotics gym shoe - breaking them in is tough for ME - aches and pains - some even NEW pains - muscles ain't been used in a while - except to lay on one side and then flip to other side - laughing - I am proud to be 63 years YOUNG in good shape too - I have been exercising with Leslie Sansone on dvd at home since August 2010 - yet lately I been lazy - just doing strecthing with Donna Flagg Lastics 3x a week on dvd at home - Leslie dvd once in a while - caught an ATTITUDE of who cares and emotionally ate instead NOW I suffer the consequences of MY personal CHOICES  - TODAY I saw a total of 8 other humans - two SUCKING on DEATH STICKS - I thanked God I don't SUCK on DEATH any longer - I prayed for all 8 human's and I am here to check on Babette - a newcomer and to BLOG on overcoming MYSELF  - here in MY neck of the woods the sun is out - trees in bloom - MY new orthotic gym shoes are ok - still breaking them in - walked 20 minutes - pacing MYSELF to take it easy - it is only MY second time out walking - thank you ALL for teaching ME - remember to NeverTakeAnotherPuffEver - over MY 20lbs gained or MY new shoe pains or MY muscles waking up from a deep sleep  - to put other's above MYSELF and to HELP some ONE to HOPE - if WE stay NON SMOKERS enjoying the day - so maybe they will WANT what I have - FREEDOM from NICOTINE beautiful tree I seen and SHARING is caring - 



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Apr 18, 2020

MY family has made ANOTHER week and gathered supplies for ANOTHER MONTH - staying in house - per government in MY state it's been snowing for the last 2 DAYS - TODAY - NO snow - in MY area it will be - 60 degrees - grateful to God for HIS love - for good health - nice weather TODAY and STAYING in HIS love and grace as a JOY filled NON SMOKER - AHHHHHH -  resting in Saturday's blessing and thanking and PRAISING MY Daddy God for EVERYONE here in MY Lord Jesus name - I thank all of YOU for teaching ME - smoking is NOT an option and to STOP and THINK what I am thinking about and to REMEMBER to - NeverTakeAnotherPuffEver - and TOGETHER - WE - will stand in the TRUTH of N.O.P.E- in love for one another in UNITY - to STAY NICOTINE FREE - TODAY 4- 18- 20



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Apr 17, 2020

I am so grateful TODAY is FRIDAY and ONLY by God's grace I am 3389 NICOTINE FREE DAYS We go out for supplies TODAY - I am relaxed inside and out and MY HEART is soaring in HIS love NOW at this very moment - I am at home - by MYSELF - laughing out loud - praying I remain PEACE filled - when I actually GO out and run into those other humans out there that is MY test -  the PEOPLEplease I am talking about ME not anyone else - please take what HELPS and let go ot the rest- to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - remember - NeverTakeAnotherPuffEver - over MEN.O.P.E- NotOnePuffEver


News LarryG 

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Apr 15, 2020

Glorious news from MY-  friend -  Evie from the NOPE365 support group - said LarryG in hospital with knee trouble and stated that - LarryG said - he is hopeful he will be out in a few days

keeping our minds occupied during these EXtra stressful times is vital to our health and well-being which in turn will keep our quits in tact which is a must in order to continue living a Smokefree Life Dale says keep them away from your face and the only way out is through which is 100% truth .....

Whew I cut my bangs over the weekend and I have to say they look A OK!  I'll manage without the dog groomer LOL...


Not One Puff 

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Apr 13, 2020

NOT one puff - those word's seems silly to say out LOUD - I SPEAK them anyway -  yet for ME -  those word's are life saving in this TIME of cv19 germ warfare - MY REALITY with tons of FEELING thinking and tons of wild FEELINGS that come and go - ebb and flow as I direct MY FEELINGS they do NOT rule over ME or lead ME into silly decisions in MY LIFE TODAY - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - please I am talking about ME not anyone else - thank you  -  each of MY friend's tested for cv19 recently - the test results - came back NEGATIVE and one of MY friends the doctor tested twice - result NEGATIVE again - he was sent home to his assisted living - locked down in his room - the REALITY in the whole world is cv19 germ warfare is taking lives in ALL the known world - NOW for ME -  it is up close and personal - FACT not a FEELING THINKING -  it is a REALITY of the UNKNOWN who will survive for ME - the extremes in MY thought processing becomes wildly insane FEELINGS of death and doom and gloom YET I say out LOUD NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER OVER MY FEELINGS - I go to MY God first and MY prayer is - HELP and the answer is simple - speak LIFE word's  - MY CHOICE to speak LIFE word's - I speak to take fears out of MY heart and say - NOT ONE PUFF - over cv19 OR  any person OR place OR  thing OR situation OR circumstance OR FEELINGS - CHOICES - CHOICES - CHOICES - it is TOUGH deciding what word's to speak - so I personally pray and ask MY God for HELP -  to speak LIFE words in MY Lord Jesus name amen thanks for letting ME share MY word's of HOPE - NotOnePuffEver over ME I then choose to encourage MYSELF with LIFE word's and humor to bless ME through MY REALITY and REMEMBER I trust MY God and all is well with MY SOUL in Jesus name amen



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Apr 12, 2020

Perspective -   please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - MY OLD perspective -  I REMEMBER in MY past - active smoking DAYS -  to COPE with everything in ME - I smoked - 50 DEATH STICKS A DAY - perspective - TODAY I COPE with blogging and sharing - MY insides of fears and insecurities - in MY life with prayer and BREATHING in and out admitting MY fears and insecurities - just like - ALL of YOU SHARE - it is HARD for ME to adjust in MY personal life in America TODAY -  FACT - to go out ONLY if I need food or gas - I am cooperating YET I go to get food at where MY daughter works and I THINK why is it ok for MY daughter to be out in the deathly germ vc19 EVERYDAY - perspective - it is her JOB - she has a food job -  an essential JOB - MY husband is out in the deathly germ vc19 EVERYDAY - perspective -  it is his JOB - he HELPS -  the farmer in the agricultural area of growing food - perspective - I will keep MY faith and BELIEVE as I adjust and STAY home and do MY part - perspective - this too shall pass- I will NeverTakeAnotherPuffEver over MY perspective or their job's and I will NotTakeOnePuffEver over ME to cope with ME -  perspective - I will continue MY GRATITUDE list day by day - perspective - HELP other NICOTINE ADDICTS to HOPE - perspective - I will pass on breathing exercising at home - walking dvd at home - stretching exercising at home - eating at home - at home - at home - perspective GRATEFUL to MY God for ALL of YOU teaching ME everyday to STAY a NON SMOKER at home - no matter what and keep praying in MY Lord Jesus name amen



Smoking is gross

Posted by SisBB Apr 9, 2020

I had a breakthrough today! I saw someone smoking on TV and instead of being jealous I found it to be totally gross. That made me really happy. 


I’ve never spent so much time alone in my whole life and I’m learning so much about myself. 



Posted by bonnie.s Apr 9, 2020

I had to go to the grocery store and while In line at the customer service counter I overheard the cashier telling a lady in front of me that they were out of her brand.  The lady was discussing other brands she'd smoke instead.  The cashier said they were selling out fast.  That made me stop and think about the panic I myself would be in right now if I still smoked.  I'd be out right now trying to hoard cigs like toilet paper!  I'd have no concern for mine, or possibly my daughters safety right now.  Cigs would be my priority.  Sad thought!  I can feel empathy for that lady.  I'm so glad that isn't my reality anymore.  


Just For Today 

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Apr 9, 2020

Just for TODAY I will NotTakeOnePuff


Message from Linda Mustafa

Posted by ShawnP Champion Apr 3, 2020

It’s the 4th of April and I’m celebrating 6 years of smoke free yeahhh <img src='' class='jive_emoji'/><img src='' class='jive_emoji'/>
Do you mind if you share this little post on EX for me please and say hello to everyone <img src='' class='jive_emoji'/>


Hello everyone on ExFamily .
I hope that you are all well and coping in this situation .
For people who don’t know me I’m Linda and I live in London .
Today I’m celebrating 6 years of smoke free <img src='' class='jive_emoji'/>free from poison , addiction and potentially a lot of damage to my health if I was still addicted during this pandemic situation.
Every doctor has been advising of the dangers and harm the Corona virus can do to the lungs so for me and all of you guys our decision to stop inhaling poison into our lungs might just save our lives .
I must admit , although not sure as to why but I’m guessing the time nearer to the big anniversary as it sometimes happens during those occasions I’ve been thinking of the past and that did include my addictive past and there was somewhat a tendency to entertain the thought which I quickly diverted to the reality as something nonexistent and not doable at all from my part .
The brain does fully understand that the addiction is in the past yet the pandemic situation has brought up a situation that was extremely new to me and to the rest of us and all of a sudden the anxiety , fear , uncertainty have risen so much that the other senses -the coping mechanisms were alerted and hence the various thoughts came back because as we know we’ve used our addiction to cope even though at the time we probably weren’t aware of it .
To begin with I couldn’t understand why but then as I was thinking about it I was sure of it and remembered when Dale at the beginning of my quit used to say that we have to experience everything once or twice for the behaviour to change so I guess we are experiencing this new thing now as full on as anything else we’ve experienced.
All of us are going through this together no matter the country , race , gender -we are all in this together and we will get through it .
Stay strong , cherish your quit because it’s literally saving you , try and be positive , don’t read or listen to a lot of negative news , try and enjoy your time at home perhaps doing things that you never had time to do in the past or learning something new .
My best wishes to all of you and especially to my dear EXFamily friends -you all know who you are -I love you , I miss you and wish only the very best for each and every one of you .
Thank you ever so much for always supporting me and being there when I needed you .
Take care and God bless us all in this time of need <img src='' class='jive_emoji'/><img src='' class='jive_emoji'/>
Linda 2190DOF
6 years of freedom


Do Not Fear 

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Apr 3, 2020


 I will NeverTakeAnotherPuffEver and SINAO - SMOKING.IS.NOT.AN.OPTION - N.O.PE - NotOnePuffEver - JUST FOR TODAY- and ONLY by God's grace - I received 3375 NON SMOKING living days- TODAY  - thank you EVERYONE here for teaching ME by YOUR examples  - Y'ALL taught ME to keep in MY HEART - an attitude of GRATITUDE -  will keep ME in the NOW constent moment of MY DAY  -  HELPING and encouraging OTHER'S -  to blog -  BEFORE -  taking that first PUFF over MYselfjust for TODAY - please choose to BLOG - I know I am POWERLESS to make any human change OR cure humans from their ADDICTION TO NICOTINE OR cause humans to SUCK ON DEATH STICKS - OR make any HUMAN to DO anything -  yet it is MY HOPE YOU would BELIEVE those with continuous YEARS living NICOTINE FREE and COPING with LIFE on life's terms and  - if - WE -  can STAY NICOTINE FREE - TOGETHER -   YOU too can CHOOSE for YOURself because -  YOU believe for YOUR self - YOUR worth NICOTINE FREEDOM - yahoooooooo -



Posted by nevergiveup Apr 3, 2020

Not sure if I've always been this way but probably at least to a certain extent. So quick react. Not necessarily outwardly by physical action but rather mentally. Been on my mission to successfully quit for good a little over a year. Do I/have I thought about it too much? Yep. New goal is to redirect my focus and energy into action. Caught somewhere between wanting to sleep all day & wanting to save the world...or at least my lungs. As for wanting to save the world, well, that is obviously a whole different HUGE issue to say the least. So surreal. That is all for today really. 



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Apr 3, 2020

When I sucked on DEATH sticks - MY thoughts were .....ahhhhh now I am calm.......or I thought I hate.......when MY sentence began with those words -  I would smoke a pack in a second...over MY FEELING THINKING.......MY OLD ADDICT thoughts - were MY FEELINGS - leading ME -  into believing - that I needed to SMOKE - that I enjoyed SUCKING ON DEATH STICKS .....I REALLY believed that in MY HEART and soul and MY OLD I wouldn't let ANY of these mean and nasty FEELINGS out - because I would HURT PEOPLE - with MY FEELINGS -  TODAY I have a NEW MINDSET based on FACTS -  please I am talking about ME not anyone else - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - FACTS and not MY FEELINGS leading ME OR MY FEELING MOUTH - it is SELF DISCIPLINE -  that I learned from other PEOPLE who were using their personal free will to CHOOSE how they wanted to live TODAY -free from NICOTINE ADDICTION -  I am an ADULT TODAY - after YEARS abd YEARS of admitting deafeat and I needed PEOPLE to HELP ME LEARN proper perspective of a God of MY understanding and of MYSELF and of PEOPLE in general and  inside MY heart and mind and will and emotions - MY SOUL - it is easy to people please and say what other's want to hear - TODAY - I don't people please TODAY - I share MY experience and  strength and MY RECOVERY from MY DRUG ADDICTION TO NICOTINE - to be HELPFUL and NOT for a popularity contest - TODAY - I SHARE MY TRUTHS and the lengths I went to suck on DEATH STICKS - how I chose NOT to be responsible with ALL of ME just so -  I could smoke at people because inside of ME -  I hated what HAPPENED to ME as a child - I hated ALL the things I was taught as a child by sick and evil people and TODAY ONLY by God's grace I pray for PEOPLE - I think of PEOPLE above MYSELF because of. MY God who is love and peace and joy and faithful and good and gentle and long suffering and kind and self- controlled and WHO teaches ME to allow ME free will to CHOOSE each day - I choose tough love and be honest and courageous with other's out of MY God's love in ME and God gave ME free will - I ain't HIS robot - HE HEALED ME inside and I CHOOSE to speak LIFE speaking words NOT DEATH words to other's - I choose LIFE - to tell the truth about NICOTINE ADDICTION - and to talk about what I did to SUCK on DEATH because I was a VICTIM of other's WRONG teaching as a child and with the HELP of God and receiving-  HIS free gift of eternal Salvation written in 1 Corinthians chapter 15 verses 1- 4 - please get a Bible and read it for YOUR self - thank you - it was SUGGESTED by PEOPLE that I get -   PROFESSIONAL therapy - to deal with being raped as a child from age 6 to age 15 and it was SUGGESTED by PEOPLE that joining other 12 step SUPPORT groups for MY MANY addictions - I would receive MORE SUGGESTIONS on how to grown up INSIDE and STOP blaming PEOPLE for MY CHOICES on HOW MY life was turning out TODAY - it was MY responsibility to LEARN and to be responsible for MY OWN FEELINGS and to feel them and admit them and NOT let them RUN MY LIFE by ALWAYS saying...I feel PEOPLE are...I FEEL like......I FEEL your.....I FEEL like SMOKING.....I had to THROW away ALL MY OLD ADDICT feeling thinking and feeling habits and feeling patterns and start to pay ATTENTION to the WAY I was SELF talking to ME - then AFTER 33 YEARS of MY God working INSIDE of ME - TODAY -  I am filled - INSIDE MY HEART with a NEW MINDSET - it is written - I have the mind od Christ - I STOP saying - I feel like smoking -I feel like.....- and TODAY -  I think FACTS ......I believe in FACTS - not MY feelings which come and go and are fickle and I will have MANY more FEELINGS coming and going - TODAY I am responsible and I CHOOSE to spread peace and love out of GRATITUDE to MY God for keeping ME in HIS peace and love - to pass on to ALL other's for I BELIEVE MY God bless ME with ALL YOU PEOPLE - I need YOU ALL to HELP ME to continue to LEARN and GROW and as God's HEALING peace and love in ME day by day - I CHOOSE to give peace and love away to STAY a NON SMOKER enjoying peace and love each MOMENT of MY NOW BECAUSE Y'ALL keep me LEARNING and growing BY YOUR examples of - NeverTakeAnotherPuffEever and N.O.PE - NotOnePuffEver over ME 



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Apr 1, 2020

THE battlefield is in MY MIND - please I am talking about ME -  NOT anyone else - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - I thought smoking was relaxing ME - I thought smoking kept angry words quite inside ME - I thought smoking was cool - I thought smoking helped ME to cope with MY life - I thought smoking ......the thoughts of MY OLD MINDSET of excuses could go on to Infinity - TODAY MY battlefield in MY mind is getting a proper perspective - dealing with MY feelings and reactions and choosing to respond OR just use curse words because I am to immature and lazy to structure a proper sentence to communicate as a mature adult - all this goes on in MY mind and I have NOT yet let any words come OUT of MY mouth -  YET  - the battlefield in MY MIND wrestles with medical facts - about a friend of mine who quit smoking 17 YEARS ago - and is now SUFFERING -  the consequences of lung cancer and pneumonia - and was also tested for ccv19 - the test came back NEGATIVE yesterday. - TODAY he is getting put on a ventilator - due to LUNG CANCER and pneumonia - it started a while ago in his body with a tooth infectio and the ripple effect from bacteria going into his blood from an infected tooth -  plus high blood pressure - plus diabetes - plus extreme obesity - he lives life in a wheel chair from his weight - ADDICTIONS of all sorts - but for the grace of God go I - plus bad kidneys - plus all stemming from medicine's - he has taken to live - plus with each pill - with it's side effects from each pill - put the medical FACTS not feelings TOGETHER -  for year's he has been taking them to live and NOW come to - FACTS not feelings - as each ADULT in his life the ripple effect how his life touches so many other's lives - the single mom's that tell his grandchildren age 17 13 and 11 - about their grandpa and the consequences of HIS CHOICES  - and MY battlefield -  in MY mind -  is to continue praying and thanking God for HIS love mercy and grace - asking MY Holy Spirit to teach ME - to let EVERYONE -  do their part and for ME to rest in God's plan and outcome for all individuals involved - and NOT once was MY THOUGHT of OLD addict nicotine nature - MY NEW MINDSET .- was to think of other's above MYSELF and be a BREATHE of fresh air and encourage - MY daughter's - that they are GOOD mom's and teachers to their children TODAY and. always - to BELIEVE their Dad will be ok - because HE is in God's loving hands in OUR Lord Jesus name - BELIEVE their Dad is in God's OUTCOME - amen - this NEW MINDSET of mine has been working for 9 YEARS as a NON SMOKER by MY Lord Jesus faith in ME  - ONE BREATHE AT A TIME -  for ME - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER - over ME OR emphysema OR pneumonia OR a ventilator - ALL happening to MY friend in Jesus - who is MY Lord and  I BELIEVE in HIM and I TRUST in HIM and I will continue OBEY MY Holy Spirit in ME through HIM - NO MATTER WHAT



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Apr 1, 2020

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