PastTense

The 90th blog 90/90

Blog Post created by PastTense on Mar 13, 2020

Writing a blog every day for 90 days is a bit of a… chore. Let’s be clear about that up front.

I love reading and I love a well-crafted phrase. I will stop in a book and just re-read a paragraph because it is so elegantly expressed. Because I love words, I have a completely unrealistic expectation for my own writing.  I am not a natural writer. This quote by Gen Fowler sums up writing for me; “Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.”

But I wrote anyway. I understand my world through words. I needed to understand my addiction through words. I used my words to figure out that I have a problem. In fact, I figured out that I have many problems. And I figured out that I needed to address or at least acknowledge those problems in order to extract myself from nicotine. I wrote about anger, and lack of self-control, and my wayward (yet, utterly adorable) inner child. I wrote about gaining weight and losing my mind.

Writing 90 blogs in 100 days is intense, public therapy. I am relieved to be finished. I think I have finally figured out most the things that have kept me a serial quitting. Knowledge is power and power keeps a quit.

I would also like to thank the folks who read and commented on nearly every post and lent their support. Barbscloud, Youngatheart, Elvan, sweetplt, 5jacks, and SuzyQ411. I counted on your support. Thank you for your never ending generosity with it.

I will still be writing here, and sharing the support I have received. SuzyQ411 is hoping to start a group for everyone in No Man’s Land, and has invited me to participate.

Signing off on 90 blogs

Keeping the quit

PT

Outcomes