Inner Child 81/90

Blog Post created by PastTense on Feb 24, 2020

I want to explore a little deeper the thought of “just one”.  “Just one” has been the undoing of all my attempted quits and I suddenly have House of the Rising Sun playing in my head. Dammit. Now it’s in your head, too, and I apologize. @Youngatheart.7.4.12 reminds me that you can never have just one-because they travel in packs. That made me snort laugh.

I’m trying to be serious here, because if I don’t break this trigger, I will never be smoke-free. I cannot spend the rest of my life quitting. I cannot stay on the fence, sneaking smokes, searching out safe places and easy excuses for grabbing the clandestine cigarette. That is the life of the closet smoker and I truly hate it. I can’t become the closet quitter.

The problem I have may be the self-talk I am using. When I get the thought of having just one; my brain automatically tries to shut it down and say NO – you can’t have that. Which immediately triggers my inner child to respond “You aren’t the boss of me”. Hands on hips, chin out, attitude large. Sometimes I can reason with Inner Child and sometimes I can distract Inner Child with a cookie, but she won’t be bullied and disdains adult supervision. I suspect that I won’t succeed unless Inner Child grows up or I somehow convince her to be part of the quit.

I liked @Barbscloud ‘s suggestion to say “We don’t do that anymore”. That sounds gentler than NOPE or CAN’T. Perhaps I can placate Inner Child with more soothing words.

It’s either that or use a pacifier at this point.

Keep the quit