I want to explore a little deeper the thought of “just one”. “Just one” has been the undoing of all my attempted quits and I suddenly have House of the Rising Sun playing in my head. Dammit. Now it’s in your head, too, and I apologize. @Youngatheart.7.4.12 reminds me that you can never have just one-because they travel in packs. That made me snort laugh.
I’m trying to be serious here, because if I don’t break this trigger, I will never be smoke-free. I cannot spend the rest of my life quitting. I cannot stay on the fence, sneaking smokes, searching out safe places and easy excuses for grabbing the clandestine cigarette. That is the life of the closet smoker and I truly hate it. I can’t become the closet quitter.
The problem I have may be the self-talk I am using. When I get the thought of having just one; my brain automatically tries to shut it down and say NO – you can’t have that. Which immediately triggers my inner child to respond “You aren’t the boss of me”. Hands on hips, chin out, attitude large. Sometimes I can reason with Inner Child and sometimes I can distract Inner Child with a cookie, but she won’t be bullied and disdains adult supervision. I suspect that I won’t succeed unless Inner Child grows up or I somehow convince her to be part of the quit.
I liked @Barbscloud ‘s suggestion to say “We don’t do that anymore”. That sounds gentler than NOPE or CAN’T. Perhaps I can placate Inner Child with more soothing words.
It’s either that or use a pacifier at this point.
Keep the quit
PT
Thanks for sharing - good blog SHARING - YOUR dealing with YOUR old habits and patterns about YOUR NICOTINE ADDICTION - thank YOU for YOUR self honesty and experience by learning from YOUR choices - please I am talking about ME not anyone else - I know for ME - the pacifier is accurate for ME - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - I got professional HELP for MY inner child issues in 1988 and for the BIG baby in ME pitching a fit - because I am NOT getting MY OWN WAY - I used to be FILLED with tons of fears and insecure inside an ADULT body early 30's - I sought PROFESSIONAL therapy because people SUGGESTED I needed PROFESSIONAL HELP to make peace with God and MYSELF and MY evil chikdhood issues so I will choose to make peace with others in God's love and HIS will for ME to - STAYING a NON SMOKER - the hand to mouth fetish -I learned from those here - who knew of the hand to mouth fetish and overcame it - I learned a NEW MINDSET to TAKE the SUGGESTIONS - given here by those with YEARS under their belts - I used the dum dum suckers - I used buckets of double bubble gum and chew on straws and used cinnamon sticks and sucked on lemons and BLOGGED VENTING - how MY inner child at age 4 physically - had MY first puff off the cig butts - I picked up off the streets with another boy - we were 4 years old and sent out to collect cig butts off the streets on OUR rez in South Dakota - MY grandma sent us out to pick them up for her - and she got the tobbaco out of them and rolled her own DEATH sticks for ALL THE SMOKERS in OUR HOME - the House of many evil perverted addictions -I had to make peace within - MY SELF - YES it has been tough - YET - just for TODAY and ONLY by MY God's grace - continuous I have 9 YEARS - as a NON SMOKER - inside and out - finally in MY heart at the age 63 YEARS - young inside and out spiritually mature walking by FAITH in MY Lord Jesus name amen
thanks for letting ME share