PastTense

My Valentine  71/90

Blog Post created by PastTense on Feb 14, 2020

My husband and I met each other 10 years ago and got married five years ago. We had both been married before and brought all our past baggage with us into the relationship. We both had our own families, our own houses, and our own Christmas ornaments. We started our married life with 3 couches, 4 Crock-pots, and 6 kids.

We also started out with assurances from me that I was quitting smoking. I have spent at least the past 16 years in some degree of quit, so this was a true statement. I don’t know if it was entirely in good faith, however. Somehow I went from “I will quit smoking” to “I will hide my smoking” without hesitation. Junky thinking. Addict rationale.

We gave away couches, blended our families, and put up 2 Christmas trees. What we didn’t have was a real smoke-free environment. Even during the weekends, when I didn’t smoke – and didn’t have cigarettes, I was thinking about smoking. Sunday afternoon I would start getting very cranky as withdrawal started hitting the high notes. My husband and family filled my heart and my life, but smoking had my brain.

This Valentine’s Day I can truly say that I am committed to just my husband. I ended my affair with nicotine. I will be able to kiss my husband when I get home from work without first making a detour to brush my teeth and change my clothes.

There are many benefits to being a non-smoker. This is one of the best.

Keep the quit

PT

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