I used smoking in the past as a method of self soothing. It has been a challenge to figure out other ways to sooth.
I was thinking about this yesterday as we drove in the freezing fog for 10 hours. Why would smoking be soothing? I've heard many people (raises hand to be included) who have said that they smoked when stressed. That is calmed them down.
I've seen the actual science on this, and know that smoking actually increases stress.
So why would so many of us feel like smoking helps with stress? Probably because of withdrawal.
I know I was never in a position to be a chain smoker. I could only smoke every 3 to 4 hours. Your body goes into withdrawal almost immediately after you finish a cigarette. By the time I could smoke, the withdrawal was intense. That first puff on a cigarrette brought immediate relief from the withdrawal symptoms. That feeling of relief is just like a feeling of comfort. We have conditioned our bodies to seek a cigarette when we want stress relief because smoking gave us releif from withdrawal.
This was an AHa moment for me, because I am still looking for the feeling of comfort and relief.
Not sure how I am going to fix this - or maybe it's just a matter of outlasting it.
Knowing is always helpful.
Merry Christmas, all y'all
Keep the quit
PT
I too was a very emotional smoker...especially to relieve emotional pain and gain some comfort.I know it is all a lie, but it sure did seem to do some of that...well, it probably just stuffed the emotions temporarily. Without the cigarettes I feel like a duck out of water. I have no skills to self-comfort. I try to by meditating or relaxing or trying to reason with myself, but it doesn't get the job done.so as off late I am wired for sound all the time. My rational mind knows a smoke is not going to make it any better. I know you cannot reason with addiction, but I do talk back to it with the I don't do that anymore. I have been in abusive relationships before and addiction seems to be no different...it knows all the weak spots, what buttons to push, and is unrelentless. I just have to believe the people who say the longer away from the last smoke the better it will get. I know some of the programming {well, a lot} of the programming from abuse sticks around a long time or maybe I should say It has for me so sometimes I just get tired of the battle. That is when I lose site of the fact I am quitting smoking for me because I no longer want to abuse myself in that manner...I want to be more loving to me. So then I need to remind myself about being in it for the long haul and thinking it through not just the immediate gratification.
I also have to be realistic. I quit drinking 35 years ago, and even though I am grateful I do not do that anymore my life never got wonderful because of the sobriety. I think it will be the same with smoking so I need to keep the expectations in check. Because I waited so long to quit and the effects from smoking are so great I think there will be some benefits like not dying of copd so soon, proving to myself I can be a non-smoker, not being a leper and feeling ashamed all the time because I was still smoking with the copd and making myself sicker everyday. I am never going to recover the lung capacity I lost...that makes me sad but it is what it is. Actually most people think I am real trooper because I do as much as I do in spite of the copd. Those would be huge benefits, but I can get stinkin' thinkin' about it is not enough...I want more. Actually the better thinking is it is a miracle I am still alive because in all reality I should be dead. So obviously I have a lot of jumbled thinking in my head..
I would like to get a little more acceptance and not so much resistance...I cannot force that though. Anyway, I am rambling again. Thanks for the post and thanks for listening.