indingrl.01.06.2011

MY SMOKEMARE!!!!

Blog Post created by indingrl.01.06.2011 on Nov 26, 2019

Please I am talking about ME - not anyone else - please take what helps and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you MY SMOKEMARE -  I was smoking with this man and I knew him since 1987 and we were smoking like chimneys - one after the other - that's how I use to smoke at the end of MY using nicotine addiction lifestyle - we were splitting up the cigarettes - 2 for YOU and 2 for ME - there wasn't many left in pack and the cigs were fatter than usual cigs with white filter and they reminded me of -  Kent cigarettes - they were all white looking - then I was I was thinking of a way to get this man to marry ME- THEN I JUST WOKE UP  -  the man in MY SMOKEMARE has been dead for YEARS - he died from a massive heart attack - from his own personal chain smoking lifestyle - I woke up so GRATEFUL - MY SMOKEMARES have come and gone through MY NON SMOKER LIFESTYLE - YIKES - this SMOKEMARE - scared ME - smoking with a man that has been DEAD for YEARS from SMOKING - so I was taught in the BEGINNING - to tell about MY SMOKEMARES -  right away -  so NO seeds are left to plant in MY mind by ignorance on MY lieing to MYSELF - THINKING maybe after ALL these 8 YEARS - I will smoke just ONE and be OK - well this SMOKEMARE cleared that FAKE seed of a LIE - it's -  OUTTA MY MIND  -  just ONE will kill ME - I was smoking with a DEAD MAN - I knew HIM-  he owned HIS own business -  heat n cool company was married - who cares -  I was after HIS money to keep ME in MY cigarettes - that's what I thought when I woke up - ADDICTION knows no morals OR gives a crap - I stole money from MY mom when I was 15 years old to get MY cigs - If I stole from MY mom then as a USING NICOTINE ADDICT - I will steal YOUR money too - to get MY fix - please I am talking about ME - I made sure I had MY smokes BEFORE I brought food for MY kid's - it is a known FACT - an addict will steal YOUR wallet and HELP YOU LOOK FOR IT  - MY WARNING -  SMOKING STILL KILLS AND JUST ONE WILL KILL ME  - I thank MY God that by HIS love and grace and tender MERCIES for ME in MY Lord Jesus and by MY Holy Comforter by MY PERSONAL belief - I will REMAIN a NON SMOKER NOW to eternity in Jesus name amen - I was taught a SMOKEMARE is a warning - to go tell on MYSELF thoughts of using just ONE death stick - and to REMEMBER - to thank God - I am a NON SMOKER - just for TODAY - it is all I have to live through - TODAY- only by HIS grace and I am given - ONE DAY at a time to live -  THIS day ONLY fighting the good fight of faith - MY BATTLEFIELD OF MY MIND - not anyone else's - whoever got up the earliest - TODAY -this DAY ONLY -  has the most SMOBRIETY - FOR THIS DAY ONLY- IT IS ALL WE HAVE - THIS DAY - THIS 24 HOUR DAY -  yesterday is gone and tomorrow ain't promised to NO ONE! Thanks for letting ME share MY experience strength and HOPE - TODAY

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