Sick of my negative posts?

Blog Post created by minihorses on Sep 6, 2019

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I seem to only blog the negative things in my life. There are SOO many things going on right now that ARE negative that I don't want to complain about them here. I know it won't help a thing to smoke but I really want to right now. What the heck, the rest of my life is in the toilet so why not go back to the demon? Because I am completely wholly committed

to never smoking again. I really want to unload some baggage but don't want to be the sad sack, whiny, b++++ that I seem to excel at lately. Maybe if something positive happens (yeah right) I'll blog that. It's already started to be yet another s***y day in paradise! I'm going to go cry somewhere alone and try not to punch holes in walls. Maybe I'll blog t about the hell going on at a later date. Until then I'll try to be positive and helpful to the EX community!

Julie

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22 Comments

GyorgyiM Sep 6, 2019 11:14 AM
They say (whoever "they" are) ...
You ARE who you hang with..............
Well your hanging with US, which means you have people with real names, and real issues and real love who want and choose to "listen" to you.
Sometimes "advice" isn't always the answer....but to "listen" and allow you to vent is.....
Sometimes we find the answers in "silence" after we've raved on and on and on....
and by "answers" I mean "peace of mind"...
But what do I know?

Listening....

Miles of smiles..
Gyorgyi
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- minihorses @ GyorgyiM on Sep 6, 2019 4:01 PM
  You DO know. Thanks for the lift up!
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indingrl Sep 6, 2019 11:14 AM
JULIE your NOT ALONE - I too don't handle MY self pity or martyrdom perfect - I admit it and seek God for MY solution in less then 12 hours we received news of 2 deaths - 75yr old brother in- love and 23yr ols son of MY friend of 24 years - then MY husband's mom 95 yr high blood n enlarged heart n on 24/7 oxygen sent home yesterday becuz the medical professionals have done all they can for here - so it is OK to vent a blog just say venting a blog and everyone DOES understand Julie with our EMPATHY for WE are where YOUR at or we BEEN where YOUR at OR WE will SOME day be where YOUR at so PLEASE dont take YOURSELF so seriously and REMEMBER it is OK to feel what YOU feel and to be OVER whelmed at this MOMENT of YOUR day to cry out JUST for GIANT EARS and love and acceptance - so blog to vent and STOP telling YOUR self to be quite when YOUR self is asking just to be heard - NOT fixed NOT rescued NOT taught NOT anything but HEARD CUZ YOUR HURTING - IT IS OK JULIE I HEAR YOUIN HIS LOVE I LOVE YOU AND BOY DO I HAVE EMPATHY TO GIVE UNCONDITIONALLY in OUR Lord Jesus name amen WE are heading to Indiana for first funeral of these 2 deaths - BE KIND TO JUILE TODAY gentle hug
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- minihorses @ indingrl on Sep 6, 2019 3:59 PM
  Diane Joy you have so much love to give even in the worst times for you. I'm so sorry to hear of all the losses you've endured. They're so many in your life, more than most people would ever have to deal with. God has given you the greatest gift - Knowing Him, Living in Him, and passing His word and His love to others! You are always there for everyone in their time of need. Remember to be in yourself sometimes and take care of yourself. That way you can continue to serve our Lord Jesus the way that you do. Your sister in God and in Love!
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  - indingrl @ minihorses on Sep 6, 2019 10:54 PM
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Christine13 Sep 6, 2019 12:14 PM
Sometimes we just can't feel positive when things look so bleak. I hear you! You can vent anytime you need to.
That's what we are here for. Great work keeping your quit!!
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sweetplt Sep 6, 2019 12:19 PM
Hi Julie...here’s to hoping and praying that things will look up soon for you...Gotcha in my thoughts ~ Colleen 277 DOF
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Bonnie Sep 6, 2019 1:06 PM
Julie, I think all I did was pretty much whine here for my first year, but looking back I received only love and support from my EX friends and was so sensitive and raw that sometimes the responses seemed not-so-nice. But that was MY perception. I want to tell you that it's OK to come here and vent. We understand as fellow nicotine addicts. I haven't looked back on all my blog posts but I know that releasing and venting and all that was definitely part of my journey. Life can be soooooooooo hard sometimes (a lot of the time) but you have folks here who care and understand. I know I could never have made it without EX in my corner. And looking back I realized that everyone has their own perspective and personality here. I just focused on the most gentle responses to my raving posts and those really helped me hang on to my quit.
Here's a big cyber hug for you from me....Hang in, darlin', and please don't smoke...it will NOT make ANYTHING better.
If everything else ends up in the toilet, your quit will always be on the PLUS side of your life.
Bonnie 607 DOF
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- minihorses @ Bonnie on Sep 6, 2019 4:06 PM
  Thanks Bonnie I needed that. I don't mind the not so nice comments because sometimes someone should get out the "a$$ kicking machine" (as my mother calls it) on me.
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  - Bonnie @ minihorses on Sep 9, 2019 10:18 AM
    It won't be me, darlin', but I understand. Life keeps handing me "surprises" that I don't need lately. I used to tell my family--not out loud--just to give me 3 months drama-free and I could kick my nic habit. Well, THAT never happened, LOL! Now things have calmed down on the family front, FINALLY, but now I'm doing my own "drama" deal. I probably will write a post 'cause I need SOMEBODY (besides God) to know all that's going on with me! So vent away! I do! AND DON'T SMOKE! I won't! Hugs, Bonnie 608 DOF
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DavesTime Sep 6, 2019 1:47 PM
Julie, not everything you have posted is negative--I've seen you respond to people, both in their own posts and in the daily pledge, very positively and helpfully. You are special to us, and we know you are going through a tough time. I want to celebrate our one-year victory next week, so just remember a cig will NOT help at all. AND--feel free to unload your baggage through a PM. Take care!
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- Sootie @ DavesTime on Sep 6, 2019 8:45 PM
  I agree with DavesTime I read all of your posts and comments.....you are no more negative than we all are at times. Sounds like LIFE to me. Struggles end when life ends.................so keep on struggling.
  Anyway----this is not a cheerleading forum..........you blog how you feel and we will listen and help if we can. If we can't....we WILL listen.
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Gwenivere Sep 6, 2019 4:14 PM
Julie, I say let it out. You can only be who you are at the time. That’s what support is all about. You could at least type it out. I have days I can’t even do that much. Please keep reaching out. Do whatever it safely takes to validate the emotions. There’s nothing worse than having to face a world that minimizes what we go thru on these quits. I totally get the what’s the point feeling, sarcastically calling days paradise, etc. And wanting to cry? I’ll share my Kleenex with you. If it were required to be happy happy joy joy half this place would disappear. BE YOU! You are loved here.
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Giulia Sep 6, 2019 6:30 PM
I'm sorry you're going through such a crappy time. And it's totally understandable that you want to smoke. The bugger always appears when we're weakest. But that's one of the not crappy things, the fact that you're coming up on a one-year quit anniversary in 5 days. DESPITE what's been thrown at you. That so not crappy! Sending vibes for a better tomorrow
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elvan Sep 6, 2019 9:04 PM
I agree with all of the above, not only are all your blogs NOT negative, many are hilarious...you go back and forth with people and you always make me smile. Life is not easy and sometimes, it seems SO HARD that it is unimaginable. Vent here...we all care, Julie, every one of us. I am going through some crap too and I can't be trying to spread encouragement when I am exhausted all the time but your blog stood out and I wanted to connect with you.
Loving hugs,
Ellen
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- minihorses @ elvan on Sep 8, 2019 4:55 PM
  Thanks Ellen! I do like to make people laugh. I have an 'off color' sense of humor that can get me in trouble so I'm glad you see the sarcasm delivered with a smile.
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JACKIE1-25-15 Sep 6, 2019 11:19 PM
You can always come here and blog about what is going on and how you feel. It is amazing how writing what is going on relieves so much stress. If you feel guilty post under this group. It's Our Party and We'll… We will see it anyway. lol If no one wants to read it they can always SCROLL lol.
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mireya223 Sep 6, 2019 11:26 PM
I hear you. My anxiety has been so uncontrollable lately that it’s been crippling and unbearable some days. I have some job interviews coming up (I haven’t worked since April) and the stress and anxiety about those has really been getting to me. And having quit nicotine 5 days ago the withdrawals are only making it worse. I feel like coming on here to vent every second of the day. But life is what you make of it as corny as that sounds, it’s true. I’m trying a new medication for the anxiety. I’m sorry for everything you’re going through. Sometimes it feels good to just say it all out loud. I’m scared and anxious and really depressed recently but I want to get through it so bad and I know I’ll be better able to without being addicted to nicotine. You’re in my prayers! Stay strong.
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- elvan @ mireya223 on Sep 7, 2019 9:08 AM
  mireya223 You will be a much more desirable hire as a former smoker than as a smoker. Just keep in mind that they have to sell YOU on a job, it's not all about you selling them. I interviewed for a job in 2008 when my youngest graduated from high school, it was the first interview I had had since 1996 when I was forced to stop working as an RN due to Rheumatoid Arthritis and recurrent pneumonia and multiple broken ribs. This job was at a university bookstore, I had never worked in retail, I had never been a cashier...EVER but I figured it had to be somewhat less stressful than working in an ER or ICU, I was not terribly confident that I could do it but the interviewers never saw that. I made them laugh, I was honest and I was myself. I GOT the job and it was down to two people in the end, the other one was very young and had lots of retail experience, turned out that the interviewers liked my honesty and the fact that I made them laugh. I am not a comedienne, I just really wanted a non-stressful job. I loved it and worked for over two years before I ruptured three discs in my back and I could not do ANYTHING for a while. Just be yourself, cigarettes do not define you, they stuff your feelings down, they hold you back.
  
  Quitting is not easy but it IS worth it.
  Ellen
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PrimeNumberJD Sep 7, 2019 12:14 AM
If this is any consolation prize, I Love You! That was the rawest, most earnest, and realest blog ever! All the expletives, I could feel your emotion, and you don't even need to tell me what it is, I'm angry for you!

Keep on keeping it real (without smoking any cigarettes)!

Man your awesome, thank you for that vent.
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JACKIE1-25-15 Sep 7, 2019 12:19 AM
Bottom line you have come to far to throw your quit in the toilet.
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jonimarie Sep 7, 2019 8:18 PM
I think as quitters we are so conscious of trying to stay positive, that we do not allow ourselves to say sometimes life flat out stinks.
So I do not see your blog as negative, you are just stating life stinks right now
And it would stink with or without a cigarette ...it would only be a lot more stinky with a cigarette
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