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Hard Days

Posted by Chuck_Quit_2-20-2011 Jul 31, 2019

Hello my friends,


 I sure wish this could be a positive post but things just keep getting worse for my wife and I. This weekend, my brother decided that my grieving has interfered with the job to much and he told me I was nothing but lame since my son died. We dissolved our partnership and now on top of everything else, I’m unemployed.

 He then called the police and had them do a welfare check on me, I assume just to mess with me. A counselor came by the next day and handed my wife and I a diagnosis of PTSD. Also, both of our vehicles died in the same week so I don’t even have a way to look for work except online. I’ll get through this. Sometimes when it looks the bleakest is when we see the rainbow.


 On the upside, still smoke free. And to me, that’s a huge positive! I can’t even imagine how much I’d be smoking right now if I still did because as addicts, even in the worst of times we’d find ways to feed the addiction. But that little impulse that used to be so strong when I first quit just doesn’t exist anymore and that is one part of my life that I’m very grateful for.


So never believe that you can’t get to the point you were before addiction. At least for me, I can attest that it can be done. I’ll be back soon to post a more positive post soon. In the meantime, strength is requested. Miss you guys!





I haven't been coming to EX as often as I used to and it's for a lot of reasons, but I need to say pfffft to those reasons and come on back. I've had way too many urges, strong urges!, and smoking dreams lately and I wonder if part of it is that I'm not as obsessive about my quit as I was? 


For that very reason, I figure I need to keep reading here (daily!) and posting here (probably not as much as I used to) to keep my head in the quit smoking game. I do not smoke and do not want to weaken to the point where I lose my resolve. That ain't happening. I live with a sister who has COPD and a husband who quit 20 years ago and still has his last pack (he's amazingly strong and says he has to keep it to prove to himself that he's truly quit). I see the ravages of smoking every single time I brush my teeth and go for more dental implant surgery. And I just don't smoke.


Now to get these stupid urges and dreams out of my life. I know it will still take some time and that they will pop up whether I want them to or not, but I'm so done with quitting. I want to be quit, kaput, over it and have that be my new habit.


Even though we know it's not the right or smart thing to do and would be contrary to all our hard work, but do any of you ever just wish you could have just one, on the deck with a cup of coffee, watching the birds, hanging out in the sun? Of course, just one would get me dizzy, so I'd have to have another one to really enjoy it and oh, wait, that was so good that I'll have another, and just like that, my brain changes and turns them into something I want instead of something I abhor. Argh. Rhetorical question. 



Day 224


Wow just one❤

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 27, 2019

Today we went to the lake county fair at 11:15am and left at 2:15pm - WOW - HOURS FOR ME - JUST ONE NICOTINE user -  IN MY SIGHT- she was selling jewelry - I was looking at her rings for sale and noticed her sucking on death stick- it was on our way to the 4H club auction  - it was so wonderful in MY NON SMOKER HOURS to live with others in a moment of MY time with ONLY ONE NICOTINE DRUG USER- I think that's a WOW in 2019 with vaping being popular in the world and with all the vaping putting some people in comas- it was on the news last night here in Illinois-  a young man vape a toke and is in a coma they do not know if he is gonna make it - this other vaper who shares he quit cigs 20 years and is vaping now and each vile of NICOTINE is stronger and when he vapes he noticed it is so much stronger NICOTINE liquid sucking on so he only inhales very little - he is scared - continues to use - that's NICOTINE addiction - it is still killing people - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest-to be HELPFUL is MY only aim thank you-  I thank MY God for a beautiful hours of MY day at the fair - WOW - thanks for letting ME share a WOW moment of HOURS MY world with tons of strangers outside and inside ALL NICOTINE FREE - except that one lady - lifted her in prayer - just now - thanks for letting me share- gentle hug❤

Thank you ALL for your prayers in MY Lord Jesus name amen - MY daughter's liver is healed - PRAISING MY GOD ! WE went yesterday for this GOOD news from the liver doctor's - who told her and us that she will NOT need a transplant - her liver numbers went from 29 -  40 is the worst and TODAY her number is 18 and the best is 6 - which is ALL human's healthy liver number  - the liver doctor's - SUGGESTED -  she stick with her RECOVERY FROM ALCOHOL support groups - and they will see her again in October and the liver team strongly SUGGESTED for her to get a alcohol counselor - to keep learning how to COPE with her mental and emotional issues so she does NOT use alcohol to COPE with her life on lifes terms -  day by day - they want her to keep going to her support groups and keep doing on line recovery assignments and to get her insurance switched to blue cross - the liver team wants to get her approved to get on the list - just in case and she is still NOT approved to get on the list - still needed to fulfill all the liver team requires and the liver doctor said - IF you choose to drink alcohol again -  why should we waste a new liver if YOUR going to drink alcohol and die - when we could give it to someone who wants to live - stated gently with FACTUAL TRUTHS - none of us took offense because she needed to be confronted with the FACTS and the truth from the liver team with ALL their bases that need to be covered - if she needed them - so WE are still thanking and PRAISING GOD- in MY Lord Jesus name amen- gentle hug❤ 

I am not leaving; I can't leave. This is my home and heart of my support and my quit. But at the moment, the biggest need in my life is to bring my diabetes into control and keep it there. Now that I'm not sick, I have the wherewithal to do that. I'll be seeing my doctor again in a month. Between now and then, I need to bring my sugars to where they need to be by exercise, good food, and sleep. My new doctor also took me off one of my BP meds, which I'm happy about, but I need to keep up the not smoking and other health strategies.


In short, I need to focus on diabetes for now. I always will be on guard with the nonsmoking. I am a quitter, but I'm never forgetting that it's a process.

Anyway, I won't be super active on EX for a bit.



Day 216 - unbelievable but true!


Quit day is tomorrow

Posted by Netty03 Jul 21, 2019

Okay, I am not used to sharing online but here it goes. I set this quit day about 2 weeks ago, so I could gradually get ready to quit. I was so pumped. Yet now that the day is coming I feel so sad, anxious and full of doubt??? 


Day 132

Posted by hattonc Jul 20, 2019

Good Morning... Checkkng in.. I haven’t gotten on in a few days .. not staying as close to the site as I should just get so busy I guess .. I’m at 132 days and still doing well. Some stress these days doesn’t let up but yesterday I had a little crave but I know it’s a trigger from stress ,, I think under the circumstances I’ve been doing very good .. thank you again for the support I get on here .. hope everyone is doing well.


Doctor stuff, take 2

Posted by DonnaMarie Jul 19, 2019

I did my establishing care visit with my new primary care doctor this morning. I have to say I'm pretty impressed. The doctor I was going to before seemed to lose his interest in his profession and was concerned more for his license than the care of his patients. It took us a while to find a new doctor, but I think we hit the jackpot.


Diabetes is my number one issue and we're going to hit that head on again. I like his plan and am willing to stick to it for a month, when I go back to see him. Otherwise, I'm all good. Blood work is amazing. BP is down from quitting smoking and I'm off one of my two BP meds for a month's trial. Weight is up, but I'm okay with that.

Now I continue to kick diabetes' ass.


And not smoke, of course!



Day 214


One doctor down....

Posted by DonnaMarie Jul 18, 2019

GI doc told me to get outta there. Well, not really, but I'm done with them until my next old people exam up the wazoo.


Tomorrow is my regular doc and then I'm done with doctors for a while.


What Is New Is Often Messy

Posted by anaussiemom Jul 18, 2019


Catching up

Posted by DonnaMarie Jul 17, 2019

Lots of good things happening in my life. Nothing spectacular, but when you consider that we're all waking up every day, it's all good, right?


I go to see the GI doctor tomorrow for the LAST time. The theory about my stomach issues being a side effect from a diabetes med is turning out to be true. I couldn't be happier. I was not happy being "sick."


Friday, I go see my new doctor (primary care) for a yearly exam and to get to know him a bit better. He's been directing traffic with the GI doc, so I have seen him, but this was supposed to be our establishing care visit.


Being the Bird Lady of Hospice House is working out also better than expected. They pretty much just turned it over to me. I'm totally independent. I'll take it.


The probation office has me working the front desk again while they interview for and hire someone to do the job part time.


Then, after July 31, I get to go back to the pool.


And I'm not smoking! And this is how I did it:



Day 213


August 12th or sooner

Posted by RevTerrie Jul 15, 2019

I once quit for 4 years and still find it hard to believe that I ever started again. I used to be a pack a day smoker a year and a half ago, but I've gotten into a habit of smoking about 4 cigarettes everyday and have been stuck there. It's not even enjoyable anymore because I have a digestive disease since August of 2017and smoking definitely affects how bad it can be and how I feel. I'm not really digesting food very well right now so I can see a difference right after I smoke a cigarette. There are many times that I only smoke 2 cigarettes in a day. I've always been a stress smoker. That's when I have the most trouble. I know it's more of a habit than anything because in the morning after my bathroom routine, showering, brushing my teeth, dressing... all the normal things I go to the kitchen to smoke a cigarette and there are lots of times that I don't really even want it. It's just part of the routine. Stress is where I'm going to have to find a replacement. Aside from that I think I can do it because I don't smoke away from the house and at home I smoke at one spot in the kitchen, no where else. I have to do this for myself because I've lost 150 pounds and have been malnourished from this digestive disease and it has to get better.

I want to thank everyone for the congrats on my 5 year Smokefree anniversary WOW it's amazing looking back into my smoking days and thinking that I'd never ever quit smoking in a million years I remember joking about being buried with a Cigarette in my mouth BUT when I was diagnosed with mild copd that's when I realized that I wasn't invincible and my desire to live a Smokefree Life became much stronger than my desire to continue to Smoke so I found this site and did a bunch of reading and decided to bite the bullet and took back my life and thankfully with commitment and perseverance it's absolutely Doable and totally worth it so if you're struggling with remaining quit please know that we're all here to help you in any way we can BUT you must believe it and keep moving forward stacking up those precious DOF - Days Of Freedom so each evening you can say YAY for another Day WON.....

it doesn't matter where we are in our quits whether it's day ONE or ONE thousand and one as long as we all stick with N.O.P.E and vigilance we'll continue to move forward and reap the benefits of Smokefree living...... It's NOT easy in those early weeks by any stretch of the imagination BUT boy oh boy it's so worth it to be Free.....

TODAY YOU Marilyn are the Star - TODAY is YOUR VICTORY DAY July 14 .2019 - TODAY IS YOUR 5 YEARS NICOTINE FREE DAY !!!!!! I want to thank YOU Marilyn for ALL YOU blog to HELP ME TO NOT TAKE ONE PUFF EVER - TO KEEP DOING IT IS DOABLE AND TO REMEMBER - N.O.P.E.- NO MATTER WHAT LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS HAPPENS IN A DAY- IT IS DOABLE TO WIN ONE DAY AT A TIME - TO NOT TAKE ONE PUFF EVER -so sit back relax and enjoy YOUR COFFEE Marilyn- TODAY'S YOUR DAY - YOU WON ONE DAY ATVA TIME - 5 YEARS AS A JOY FILLED AND DETERMINED NON SMOKER LADY WHO HAS WON ! THIS ONE DAY- ❤ please take what HELPS and leave the rest -  to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you -  FOR ME-  I thank MY God for ALL YOU DO Marilyn for EVERYONE here - YOUR love- YOUR BLOGS  - YOUR time - YOUR experience strength and ALL the HOPE YOU Marilyn give ME and ALL who read YOUR blogs to keep learning and growing and healing to HELP the next suffering NICOTINE addict to believe - if Marilyn can STAY a NON SMOKER so can WE- in UNITY TOGETHER - NOT TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER because it is DOABLE - ONE DAY WON!  I thank God most of all for YOU Marilyn - MY beloved sister in recovery from NICOTINE - shine on in MY Lord Jesus name amen -  WAY TO GO MARILYN - Yahoooooooooo and GOOD JOB! gentle hug❤

Please I am talking about ME - not anyone else - please take what HELPS and leave the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - "IT" happens to ME regardless of how long I been without using MY DRUG of CHOICE NICOTINE - I been 8 YEARS clean since January 6, 2011 and 6 MONTHS- BREATHE- only by God's grace for ME -  MY - "IT"  - will be anything I use as MY excuse to react OR respond in MY day - for ME - the "IT" is MY pr-I-de -  I just learned about ME - in MY heart - when any person in - Authority - gives a compliment to SOME people - I - get jealousy INSIDE of ME - the ROOT cause - people approval - since I was 4 years old MY mother rejected ME -  she put ME in a Catholic orphanage for native American children to be raised Catholic and  white speaking their way at age 4 - I remember so clearly when she told ME at 22 yrs old in her alcohol heart  - her reason - that I wasn't born a boy - in her alcohol soaked mind - heart and soul - MY mother really believed - if I was born a boy the alcohol soaked sperm donor would of divorced HIS Catholic wife - who had 3 sons already and married MY mother - it's 2019 and I am 62 years old and MY mother 88 YEARS old and she still believes this is HER victim dry drunk heart to this very moment- she is a very mean woman and victim lead in HER dry drunk heart - I have forgiven MY mother and visit her NOW - I went to professional therapy dealt with MY ROOT causes as an adult and have made peace with God and ME - I noticed yesterday in ME - I was walking home and this man on MY way home was chasing a dog - calling HIS name and the dog was young running from him and the dog would run and stop and start walking toward him slowly and then run away - I was laughing inside of MYSELF - then the man was standing in the middle of the sidewalk - so I went to walk around him and he ASKED ME to ask the man in the garage for a ball for the dog - so I quickly said out loud as I walked to the garage and loudly - said hello YOU in the garage - he answered and I said YOUR friend wants a ball for the dog - then he says how the hell did he get out - then the other guy starts answering him and I walk away and continue walking home - then I said out loud to God - did you see how quickly I obeyed that stranger - the garage - the men - reminded ME of MY father raping ME in the garage - one of HIS favorite places - NOW throughout MY LIFE- for ME- MY FACT not feelings-thinking - know that using MY DRUG NICOTINE OR NOT- I have always been addicted to people pleasing - read a good book - addicted to people approval by Joyce Meyer - who I been taught by since 1993 - most excellent Bible teacher and does walk her talk for over 40 YEARS and NICOTINE FREE for 35 YEARS - just sharing - MY pr -I - de has revealed to ME - how quickly MY "IT" will happen - the man on the side walk - his character was that of a bully - the man in the garage - the same - by HIS tone of voice - YET I knew I was safe I was in control of ME - I CHOICE to HELP - all the rest of ME - MY past mixing with the present - I had to straighten out in MY heart of hearts - MY pr - I - de always tries to get ME to - re -  ACTOR - to play a part that is DEAD to ME - like using MY DRUG NICOTINE to handle this moment of MY DAY filled with overwhelming FEELINGS all mixed up like poison - ready to spit out in the faces of innocent people in 2019 - I ain't 4 years old - I aint 6 years old OR 11 years old - then this AUTHORITY guy gave a HUGE compliment to one person in MY support group and I was jealous and I wanted to out do his project of HELPING - I WANTED TO BE THE ONE - I WANTED to be number ONE - ALL MY life I WANTED someone to notice ME- this 6 year old victim child feeling-thinking tried to take over MY 62 year old adult in ME yesterday evening at group and I prayed for the fruit of MY Holy Spirit - self- control - HIS gift to ME -  IF HE pleases to give it to ME - HE has given and I confess to HIM and ALL of YOU - MY "IT" - MY  pr - I - de - I surrendered to MY Lord Jesus and put on the cross and ask forgiveness and to be released from MY self - will and ask for HIS will in MY NON SMOKER LIFE TODAY - to live fully present in this DAY - MY prayer was answered for none of the OLD ME came out - the NEW ME in Christ Jesus My Lord came out and MY motive was free to celebrate with the one who was complimented and in MY heart pure joy was given to ME deep down in MY soul - I prayed for MY self and MY mom and those men and the Catholic family from MY forgiven childhood where I was found innocent - so MY "IT" happens and I dealt with ME inside out to say - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER OVER ME - no matter what MY pr - I - de tries in MY Lord Jesus name - HOORAY FOR JESUS- amen - gentle hug❤  

This is how I chose to start smoking at the age of 15 years old - I was in high school - it was between classes - there was this popular tall skinny girl with long blonde hair and beautiful -  I wanted to be just like her- I was native american - short and fat - NOT popular either - we were in the bathroom - she lite the cigarette and started smoking it - she asked ME - do YOU want one - I said yes - I lite it and just copied how she smoked and then the vice principal came in and I was the ONLY one caught smoking and I got a 3 day in school suspension and that's how I CHOSE to continue having a 38 YEAR relationship with MY LOVER DRUG NICOTINE - TODAY - July 12 , 2019 -  I heard another confess how he had his offer to use his drug nicotine- the seed planted to share MINE -- only by God's grace - I am so grateful to be divorced  -  I wrote the goodbye letter which was SUGGESTED by those here that wrote their letters and it worked for them - please I am talking about ME- not anyone else - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - gentle hug❤

I'm definitely a broken record but I want everyone here at Ex to EXperience the Freedom that comes from kicking the nicotine poison to the curb permanently and I want everyone to reap the benefits of Smokefree living I don't want anyone including myself to ever become lazy and complacent and relapse because that would totally suck big time No more Day ONES for any of us BUT each and every Day WON is pure freedom.......Our lives literally depends on us to stick with N.O.P.E - Not One Puff Ever and vigilance N.M.W - No Matter What .....

 Here's coffee humor   I love my morning cup or two or three

Sometimes a record can be a good thing  don't you think? 


Day 120

Posted by hattonc Jul 8, 2019

Good Evening..

i hope everyone had a great 4th of July .. I know I did .. smoke free of course.. the only smoke I saw was from the fireworks   !!.. just taking one day at a time ... Have a great evening.. 

I smoked to ease the loneliness - I smoked to make the feelings keep quite - I smoked to remove the feelings of emptiness - I smoked to shut out all the pain - I smoked to hush all the voices that constantly reminded ME of ALL the mistakes - I smoked to help ME calm down and breathe - I smoked one after another just to keep moving - I smoked to calm the rage - I smoked to cry - I smoked to talk and tell the deep black secrets in professional therapy - I smoked until I was smoked out - I could smell the NICOTINE coming out of MY skin when I would sweat - I smoked when cried out to MY Lord Jesus because I wanted to kill MY self when I found out that 2 of MY 3 kids were raped by MY husband in 1991  - I smoked to put him in jail - I smoked when he was sent to prison - I smoked when he was given 15 YEARS for raping MY children - I smoked when he got out in 7 YEARS for good behavior - I smoked over every single thing and person and emotion and thinking and breathing and eating and coffee drinking - I smoked when the flu shot I got because the doctor said YOUR 50 yrs old YOU need a flu shot - I smoked when the side effect of that flu shot gave ME bells palsy - 7th nerve paralyzed - like having a stroke- I smoked when I got up and stopped because it was bedtime- I smoked when I failed at quitting smoking - it didn't last long - off and on for YEARS off and on trying to QUIT - NEVER WANTED TO QUIT - until - I finally proved to MYSELF - I WANTED to QUIT but I couldn't do it - I would get down to 2-3 cigs and then go right back to 20 a day - I throw them away and try to quit again and again brought another pack - this was all while being on this site - since October 2010 - I saw EX t.v. commercial - a guy kept missing his mouth trying to drink a cup of coffee and then an announcer said - in the beginning of quitting smoking it can be hard to drink that cup of coffee as time passes YOU can do everything without smoking- I laughed and said poor man as I smoked - I read the blogs here and smoked - I am a born again believer since 1986 - I smoked 50 cigs while reading and studying the bible everyday -I smoked while I had been eating healthier since 2005 more veggies less white sugar - I smoked while I was exercising since August 2010 every day - aerobics walking with Leslie Sansone at home dvd- then on the evening of Jan 5, 2011 - I got on MY knees and prayed. - Dear Jesus if you don't take these smokes from ME I will smoke them until I drop dead in Jesus name amen and I went to bed - I woke up on Jan 6 2011 with a cold turkey quit and I still continued coming here reading and blogging and at with Joel - I watched all the videos and Bryon's early death video opened MY eyes to my denial - I accepted and knew I was a NICOTINE addict .- recovering ONE day at a time - I stayed on this site everyday - ALL day long - at 3 MONTHS as a NON SMOKER - I received a call that MY brother in love was killed by a drunk driving in Tennessee - I came here and wrote a blog on what happened and asked for HELP to learn how to travel out of state without smoking - EVERYONE who had down this miracle action- traveling out of state- taught ME how to do it- TODAY -  I still come here for HELP on how to STAY a NON SMOKER in moment to moment living because I am in pain and hurting trying to remember to pray and be positive while dealing with MY negative emotions- letting them express themselves in and through ME without being judgmental and mean to MYSELF for being a human WHO is ALIVE and IT IS OK TO BE NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE - in MY OWN skin - ebb and flow and growing up inside and continued learning to deal with acceptance with MY reality - a daughter with stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver who is doing good - her meds working and she happy strong and working 2 part time jobs - enjoying her 16yr and 12yr kids - taking good care of herself and them - I am healing inside of ME to keep believing MY Lord Jesus - praying for HIS will not mine being done in MY life -  TODAY - it's not about smoking for ME TODAY - it's about HELPING others above MYSELF - it's MY continued living as a NON SMOKER by EVERYONE here - everyday  - to give H.O.P.E. -  Hearing Other People's Experience - just like I was given - in HIS love and service -  to let love lead and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER -  in UNITY - TOGETHER - gentle hug ❤

I am grateful to God for this site - TODAY - God has given ME - I lift EVERYONE here - ALL who work here and keep this site for recovery from NICOTINE addiction with the FREEDOM from- do this OR don't do this OR woulda or coulda or shoulda - EACH individual is given FREE WILL CHOICES - whatever works for YOU PERSONALLY to - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF over YOUR self - the FREEDOM here to read ALL the HELPFUL information and experiences - then YOU CHOOSE for YOUR OWN SELF - NON SMOKER living in YOUR own skin - life on life's terms - and choosing to GET out of YOUR self and HELP other's - just like YOU were HELPED to believe and to HOPE - if y'all can stay in NON SMOKER living ONE day at a time - so will I - thanks EVERYONE for teaching ME - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - YOUR OWN -  personal choices make YOUR NEW NON SMOKER LIFE STYLE - enjoy YOUR OWN PERSONAL FREE WILL CHOICES  - it's-  ALL on YOU -  CONGRATS and WAY TO GO! gentle hug ❤


it keeps getting better

Posted by tonyc6066 Jul 6, 2019

hi all sorry I have not checked in I was in the UK Wales and Scotland on vaca great time had by all well lets see its now been 94 days 15 hrs smoke free I am no longer on the patch I finished nicoderm patch step 3 in England and once In a blue moon I get a crave but nothing I cant Handel you know I hear people say change your routine up like if you have coffee while watching TV don't watch TV or don't have coffee I did not do that change up thing I think if I did I would have smoked because when you change up your routine you are now giving up something else that you like it seems like you are giving up everything just to quit smoking so when those urges did hit I stood strong and said hell no I wont go back I know its not easy for everyone my wife says I am just strong willed and stubborn and once again no mans land does not scare me in one little bit its like the boogie man it only exsist in your head have a great summer guys and gals and i hope we cann all make it through this journey


200 daggum days!

Posted by DonnaMarie Jul 5, 2019

I mentioned to my husband last night that today was 200 days. He said, "How did that happen? The first 100 days took forever." He's right. It seems like the second 100 days went by quicker than I ever thought they could. I'm a quitter, dangit!


My life has changed so much since I quit. I was sick when I quit and decided that smoking wasn't helping. So I stopped. Then I found out recently that I'm not really sick, that it was side effects of a med. In that period of time, I started a new volunteer gig, retired, had shoulder surgery and the PT that followed, and started a second volunteer gig. I've been feeling healthier in the weeks since I quit the med that was causing my stomach and esophageal problems, and am getting some stamina and energy back. It's just phenomenal. By the end of this month, I'll be able to swim back stroke again, a goal of mine. Without smoking, I may be able to swim farther and for longer than I would have if I were still abusing my lungs. I don't expect perfection, but I expect to be able to build up my time.


Quitting is good stuff, people. If you are struggling with day 5 or 25, keep going. Though I have a crutch in my car (cinnamon sticks), I don't use replacements anymore. I have had so many days 1, as have so many of us. This may be the last time I have a day 1. I'm 99.99% sure about that. I'm an addict; I can't say 100% yet.


I encourage anyone who wants to quit to stick with it. Every minute, hour, day, week, month is a building block to freedom. I'm 200 days into my freedom and plan to watch that number grow! Next stop is the big one year!




Day 200



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 5, 2019

I am growing each day God breathes HIS breathe into ME - I am NOT what I was 8 YEARS ago - God has changed ME inside to believe HIM to keep trusting HIM and most of ALL for ME to keep believing in HIM and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF over ME or MY life on life's terms - I am growing by accepting I am right where I am suppose to be - it has NOTHING to do with using MY drug NICOTINE anymore - that craving dissipated 3 DAYS after God blessed ME with cold turkey quit - NOW 8 YEARS have passed and I thank God I ain't what I use to be- MY mind set on using MY drug NICOTINE to cope with ME - it was NEVER God or people - I was the problem - the child victim feeling thinking - trying to get ME to use again - TODAY - I learn from others that have been through what I am going through TODAY - I am growing by believing their words - their experience - and stepping out by faith - IF they can decide to live a non smoker life style and have self discipline on all YOUR insides and GROW UP - so can I -  YOU have given ME HOPE TODAY - I am growing just like y'all - this DAY only - to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF OVER ME - to keep growing and be spiritually mature in ALL I do - in HIS love and service - I thank EVERYONE here for HELPING ME to grow and to keep learning by YOUR experience and to be healed - just like Y'ALL- gentle hug❤ 


STAY .....

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Jul 4, 2019

I was told to STAY and give MYSELF a chance to learn a NEW way of thinking - STAY- to learn a NEW way of being responsible for MY feelings - when it came to WANTING to escape MY feelings - MY situation -  MY circumstance - MY family - MY FACT REALITY- in MY early recovery - I had a really rough time accepting MY self in admitting - I knew NOTHING about accepting ME as I am - ignorant of God's unconditional love - I was NEVER taught to be OK -  loving MYSELF- making MY mistakes and accepting - MY failures by admitting and accepting ME as being a HUMAN mother - WHO is filled with God's love to be of service to MY daughter in stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver disease- STAY - walking out MY OWN PERSONAL NON SMOKER LIFE STYLE- STAY - and don't run to comfort food - STAY - remember  - a NEW thought- a healthy feeling OR WANTING a NEW ME inside - deep down inside- where I held MY confusing thoughts and MY thinking and MY feelings about MY self being a mother - of a child who has a disease -  called ALCOHOLISM - a disease like diabetis OR cancer - except -  this world with some PEOPLE - who have their OWN judgements and criticisms of ALCOHOLISM as a REAL disease- which they are entitled too - free will and free choices - they do NOT consider it a REAL disease - some say - those people are weak - they can quit drinking alcohol - IF they stop drinking or smoking - SOME said the same to ME about ME in MY using days  - sucking on 50 death sticks a DAY - that was then and NOT TODAY- yahooooooo- yet in MY unforgiving heart -  I held criticism and harsh judgements against MY self for NOT changing her or fixing her or curing her - STAY - don't run away - pray and ask God for help and let God love ME - it is written - God is love - it is written - Love is God- that is written in HIS Holy Bible - please read it for YOURSELF - to accept the FREE gift of eternal salvation- 1 Corinthians chapter 15 verses 1-4 - just believe what YOU just read - take God at HIS word ❤ - please I am talking about ME not anyone else - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest -to be HELPFUL is MY only aim -  thank you - STAY - has been taught to ME - since 2016 when I first receive the FACTS about MY daughter having cirrhosis of the liver- the gift of MY Holy Spirit in ME by MY faith -  has given - ME HIS -  fruit of patience - aka -  long- suffering - for ALL these YEARS - July 2016 to July 2019 - STAY DO NOT RUN AWAY - MY REALITY FACTS - the doctors - the medicines - the procedures to keep her alive and as healthy as medicine can HELP her  - the hospital ER visits in between - the hospital stays- everything coming closer to death - blood poisoned by infections - medicine changes - blood transfusions- the whole month of May spent in ER - hospitals over nights - ending up days and weeks - STAY in the moments of this situation or this moment of time - cry and STAY - I  STAY on this site - for ME- and then go back out to STAY and NOT escape MY REALITY FACTS -  I received for Mother's day a STAY - 12 days in hospital with MY daughter and WE watched together - her body swell so large from the effects of stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver called ascities - her lower legs had water coming out of her skin - STAY be strong for HER - don't escape - breathe and pray to deal with REALITY- I was told to put these girdle socks on her calves to HELP with the swelling - then -  WE played bingo and won - she got a heart shaped key chain - crystal clear in color with Chicago written in red letters- I framed the bingo cards and a coloring book page she colored for ME it hangs in MY living room - STAY - NOW - July 2019 - she is at a celebration with her 16yr daughter and 12 yr son - living her life - her new waters meds are working - blood drawn every week to watch  liver levels which are good at 20 - she went out and got - two part time jobs - a place for her and kids and HELP with food and this week she finally received medical disability - STAY and pray - trust God not doctors - STAY and accept life on life's terms - while she fulfills the requirements of the social worker assignments for a recovering alcoholic - on line AA assignments each week to be faxed to social worker -  proving herself sober and willing to DO all the liver team requires - social worker has the say so - for daughter-  to GET ON TRANSPLANT LIST- she still trying - I go to MY support group to live MY OWN LIFE- only by God's grace I stay and pray Deard Daddy God I come to sit on your lap and rest MY head on your chest and ask for YOU to hold ME as I STAY - for YOUR out come in both of our separate lives - yet TOGETHER in YOUR love -  please HELP ME to STAY - in this DAY only in Jesus name amen- thanks for letting me STAY and BREATHE- gentle hug ❤  


Happy Fourth

Posted by Chuck_Quit_2-20-2011 Jul 4, 2019


 Hello all. I hope all is well with you. Me? I’ve been doing better than the day before and better than the day before that and so on. I just wanted to say that holidays can really be a rough time for a person who’s losing an addition. 


 It doesn’t have to happen that way, but sometimes it does.The interesting thing about holidays is that they bring us memories of the past. Sometimes, past memories can be harmful to us, especially if we start thinking about how much the cigarette related to our holiday happiness.


 All I’m saying is that as addicts, we can still have fun, we just have to temper it with caution. No matter where you are in your quit journey, it’s always wise to be extra vigilant on those days that can bring us past memories. It’s the sneaky memories that’ll get you sometimes. 


 The thing to remember is that for most, this journey of addiction does end. The light at the end of the tunnel is real, even if it’s hard to see right now. The fourth of July is a holiday about freedom. Perhaps for us addicts, we can celebrate our personal internal freedom as well. After all, anyone choosing to lose an addiction deserves to celebrate that every time they can.


 Always remember that if this day was hard, the next time you face it it will be easier. Time cures all, both my personal grief and that of addiction, which are both based on loss. Although we’ll always be addicts, the important thing to remember is that with time anything is possible so long as we never give up on our quest for freedom. After all, isn’t that a big part of why we quit in the first place? To see and feel freedom?


 Whatever our reasons for quitting, the important thing is that we did and that’s something we can celebrate for the rest of our lives!






Happy birthday America!

Posted by ShawnP Champion Jul 3, 2019

Wishing everyone a Happy and safe 4th of July! Don't forget the bonfire is Saturday and Sunday on here. Watch for my blog. See you then.


Day 198 - New events

Posted by DonnaMarie Jul 3, 2019

A friend asked me how long it has been since I quit. I had to come here to check! I guessed 200; I was close.


I did my first day as the Bird Lady of Hospice House today. I've never worked outside other than in my own yard. I was a hot, sweaty ass mess when I was done washing and filling five bird baths and filled the feeders. On the way home, I went to a friend of mine's home who has a pool, took off my shorts and bra (and shoes), and went in with tee shirt and unkies. It was great! If it had been nighttime, I betcha I'd have taken off the shirt and unders too.

They have rain barrels for watering plants with a trickle hose. This is four of the feeders and a suet feeder. Any client in any bed can see bird feeders from their room. I think it's wonderful. If looking at things is all you have left, birds are a beautiful sight.


This is the other side of the house with another barrel for rain water and a bunch of feeders. The bird baths are scattered around the edge of the woods. The volunteer gardeners do a beautiful job. I saw untold numbers of butterflies and lizards, and tons of birds. I might have found just the right thing for me to be doing.


I toyed with applying for a real job at the probation office; they told me about a half-time opening I would be interested in, but to tell the truth, after sleeping on it, I realized that I don't want that. I would have loved this particular job 10 years ago, but nope, not now.


I apologize for being scarce. Life off line has picked up so much lately. Not doing anything special for the fourth; I'm home till the weekend is over. My town is full of tourists at the moment


Have a great smober holiday.



WAY TO GO Tommy - gentle hug - thank you for teaching ME to think about celebrating other's NICOTINE FREEDOM DAYS and for ALL the train rides celebrations for US ALL - YOUR the bestest conductor - ever ❤

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