Shoulder buggin me and day 141

Blog Post created by DonnaMarie on May 7, 2019

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I'm at that point in physical therapy where the shoulder is being activated a lot; therefore, there's a small level of pain for about 24 hours beyond that. Ouch. I've been lucky not to have much pain so far. The nice thing is that there is a painful period and then it gets better, so it's nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, I apparently have pretty good motion. I've have weeks ahead of me, but I'm good with it. You may have noticed that I'm not a fan of the post surgical part of the rotator cuff thing!

Today was volunteer day at the probation office. Often, people are outside smoking while they wait to see their officers. They were not out there today. Normally, I wouldn't even notice, but I really didn't want them there today. It's been one of those days (maybe because of fatigue) that I've wanted to smoke (I won't). I even heard a song on the radio going home called "Nobody Smokes," there the singer laments he doesn't have anyone to ask for a light and that nobody smokes anymore. I'm not sure if it was tongue-in-cheek or not.

Anyway....

I made it through getting up, showering, volunteering, physical therapy, and then a quick stop at the grocery store and did not smoke. Again, I won't and I'm close to 100% sure of that. It does annoy me that I still have urges and as with the urges today, they can be right lengthy.

Oh, my PT asked me how the VA Beach weekend with with the quit smoking people. LOL I guess I've talked about it coming up a lot?

Donna

Day 141

Outcomes

12 Comments

Daniela2016 May 7, 2019 10:06 PM
You are doing great, thinking about it, it's ok as long as you don't act on it.
Would you believe if I told you I still think about it after more than 3 years? And if I recall properly, not long ago Nancy YoungAtHeart had a dream about smoking. I still like the smell of fresh smoke, not the stale though.
We are and always be addicted to smoking.
But what makes the difference between before and now is our mindset which is switched to OFF for smoking. We committed to NOPE, we keep doing that, we are safe!
As for PT and the ride while doing it, it is a little like quitting smoking, isn't it? The ups and downs till eventually you still feeling good about the new state you are in
You had a productive day, and doing what it takes to stay an EX, so proud of you!
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- DonnaMarie @ Daniela2016 on May 8, 2019 8:24 PM
  I won't give in.
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elvan May 8, 2019 2:04 PM
I want to hear that song, LOL! I can tell you, from personal experience, that the times when I most want to smoke, even now, are the times when my pain is at its worst. It can be back pain, shoulder pain, generalized joint pain, it can be ANY pain that is taunting me. It's really crazy because I KNOW that smoking never REALLY helped but boy oh boy, did that addiction hang onto me with its claws...telling me that it WOULD help. When I first quit, I had more pain in my hands because I actually had circulation in them...sad, but true. It didn't last long and I found that it is less apt to be that severe now. My shoulders are always going to be an issue and smoking never really helped with them, what did help was using bands to strengthen them. I basically have no rotator cuffs anymore, I have ruptured one bicep and torn the other, my shoulders are held in place because I have strengthened the smaller tendons that I have left. I can do all of the movements I could not do when I was first injured, I just have no strength. I am sure that a fly could land on my arm and I would not be able to hold it up for long...BUT, I am not having shoulder replacement surgery which is my only option at this point. You are going to make a complete recovery and you are going to find yourself getting stronger and stronger in so many ways. I am really proud of you and cannot wait to meet you next week.
Ellen
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- DonnaMarie @ elvan on May 8, 2019 8:22 PM
  Robert Ellis - "Nobody Smokes Anymore" [Audio Only] - YouTube
  
  It won't embed, but here's the song!
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Strudel May 8, 2019 6:56 PM
So sorry about the continued pain. (Mine is better and I am sleeping better. But, I still have some pain....as long as it is getting better - I figure I am good.) I hope that yours gets better and better! Those thoughts about smoking are normal....I used to think of them as clouds floating by - acknowledging the thought, but watching it float one by!
See you next week!
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- DonnaMarie @ Strudel on May 8, 2019 8:23 PM
  Next week is soon!
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indingrl May 8, 2019 8:24 PM
CONGRATS ON 141 NON SMOKER DAYS - yahooooooo
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Giulia May 8, 2019 11:56 PM
"and did not smoke. Again, I won't and I'm close to 100% sure of that. It does annoy me that I still have urges and as with the urges today, they can be right lengthy."

Someone just returned to this site after an almost 6 year quit. To my mind I am never 100% sure that I'll never smoke again. I know too well after being a supporter here for over 10 years on this site that relapses happen after 8 months, a year, 4 years, 10 years, 18 years. I am convinced, however, that if one stays connected to a quit site on a regular basis, relapse is less likely to happen. And I don't mean being here daily like certain of us Elders are, I mean just showing up on a regular basis. Once a week preferably. Once a month is good too. But to not check in (even if you don't post anything - just read blogs and conversations...whatever), you're not doing your quit maintenance. You have an oil change on your car (some do anyway) every 3,000 miles. You gonna pay more attention to your car than your quit? Which was so damn hard to come by?

I just got a PM from Shaheen. I know he wouldn't mind if I shared it with you: "It's been 7 years since I quit smoking! I'm really glad that I have a friend like you. You guys are really helpful. I can't forget your help ever."  Do you see how important the connection here is?

Donna, yes, you've been quit almost five months. You're still an infant on this journey. My truth, maybe not yours, but take what you like and leave what you don't. We make progress as each month goes by. Our cravings change. But they can still rear their ugly heads. Years into our quits. Sorry. Fact. Otherwise why the heck would there be 11 years quitters needing to come back to quit smoking again????

And yes, sometimes those urges are STRONG and last for longer than 3 minutes. FACT. But that is also dependent on how long you allow your mind to dwell on them. Wallow in the cravings and you will be lost in the murky well of smokey thoughts for as long as you continue to dwell on them. What's never talked about is the fact that this can happen even after a year of being smoke-free.

I'd better shut up. This won't be helpful to the - to those who don't really want to hear the truth. (Can't wait to meet you in a week!)
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- DonnaMarie @ Giulia on May 9, 2019 12:33 PM
  Don't ever shut up. You never know when you're going to toss out a bit of wisdom that hits home.
  
  I like to come back a few times a week because I need EX, believe in healing together, and I want to show others it can be done. I'm an elder-in-training.
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anaussiemom May 9, 2019 11:05 AM
Kudos! I do not know how many times you have tried to quit Donna. You are doing FABULOUS CONGRATULATIONS!!

Continued blessings on PT.
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- DonnaMarie @ anaussiemom on May 9, 2019 12:34 PM
  Oh, I tried a-plenty with various degrees of success. I did quit for 8 years one time. I had just one. Well, you know how that ends up.
  
  Other times, it's been many months or a year or so, but I kept going back. I believed I loved smoking. I don't believe that anymore.
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Daniela2016 May 9, 2019 11:31 AM
As for the song? The guy lists all the "beliefs" related to smoking: "no one has fun anymore", "nobody wants to die anymore", like the world becomes this gray, terrible place without the smokers. It almost sounds like an add for cigarettes
I am happy to be part of the lot who "does not have fun anymore", but I promise you, there is fun to be had outside of smoking!!!
Thanks Donna for the educational link!
Daniela
1154 DOF and counting
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Shoulder buggin me and day 141

Outcomes

1154 DOF and counting

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