It's day 132 in the land of my quit. I've had weird little urges break through, but nothing I can't handle. I'd like to say they're gone, but they are not. The difference now is that I'm in charge and I don't smoke anymore.
My sister is out of town. We had a pretty terrifying storm a couple nights ago, so I went in her room to close her bathroom window and make sure her deck door was secure. There, on her night stand, sat a pack of open cigarettes. I know she didn't leave them there to tempt me, but the pack did talk to me. It reminded me that my husband was out of town too and that no one would know if I smoked one. No one would even notice if I took one out of the pack. But then, the current me spoke up and spoke back - I would know, N.O.P.E., I don't do that anymore, and why in the world would I ever smoke one when I'm 132 days smober? I walked out of the room and closed her door, and the pack has not spoken to me since.
These are the games our addiction plays with us. There was a side of me thinking it really would be no big deal, but there was also a side of me wondering why I would want to smoke. Struggle. And win. I won. I am still clean and smober.
My current challenge is not so much smoking related as it is general health related. I am trying to put the effort into losing my quit smoking weight as I have into quitting smoking. There will be more to come on that. It's only been a couple days.
The weekend is almost over and there's a busy week ahead. Happy Sunday everyone.