Good day everyone,
I’ve finally made it back to work for a while the last two days. I came home early today because my wife is having a really hard time today. I remember looking forward to anniversaries because they were milestones in a hard fought quit. But the anniversary we’re having today is one of sorrow.
Still, we improve every day. We’re going back to the doctor on Monday, I guess to talk about the possibility of using antidepressants for awhile. I know my wife needs them. I worry about her when we’re not together and I guess she worries about me as well. Maybe she sees in me the same things that I’m worrying about with her. I don’t know.
On the outside, I’m fine. On the inside however, things are a bit out of sorts. There’s a constant lump in my throat and an endless headache that has lasted for two weeks. So, like she is taking my advice, I’ll take hers as well.
Really, I came here to talk about something else. And that something else is how bad this situation would be if I still smoked. First off, I know that’s all I’d be doing in these trying times had I not lost my addiction. Smoking one cigarette after another and lighting the next one off of the last one.
And in that situation, there’s never an answer. Never progress. Just the constant intake of nicotine, adding to my stress while I believed that it wasn’t. But I don’t smoke anymore and I never will again. This latest experience in my life has just proven that. And you know why I’ll never smoke again?
Because there’s no value in it. There’s no benefit. It’s simply a way of wasting time that sometimes shouldn’t be wasted.
But since I did quit, none of that is a worry. And that takes a lot off of my plate right now so I’m so incredibly happy to be an EX. I’m so proud of my achievement of reaching my dream of freedom.
And once I finish this new journey of bewilderment and grief that I’m on and find my way home to the world that I remember from before my step sons decision, those flowers will be just as bright as they ever were. The sun will once again have all of the brightness it always did. The colors will return to my world and once again I’ll be smiling the smile that only freedom can bring.
No matter what happens in our lives. No matter how hard things might be there’s still a chance for this recovered addict to smile for you see, I’m still free!!
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!