Creating a new world for ourselves is never easy, especially if we don’t want to create that world in the first place. As an addict, the world of freedom seemed impossible to grasp. I mean, why change? What could possibly be better than this world we’re living right now?
It was crazy thinking but then the thoughts of an addict usually are. I think this is because as addicts, we replace our old belief system with a new one. We strive to keep our addiction safe because we believe that this addiction gives us strength and helps us to achieve that which we desire to achieve.
We push the negative aspects of our created world out of existence because it doesn’t fit with the narrative that we’ve created for ourselves. And over time, we become comfortable with the relationship we have with our addictions. The world we created for ourselves in order to rationalize our addictions becomes the foundation of our lives.
Over time, we begin to see our new foundation as the basis for how we live. We slowly lose our memories of what life was like before we chose to let a modified plant control it. Soon our addiction has completely consumed us, taking away our very ability to see the damage we do to ourselves. I know I lived this life for many years and you know what? Somehow this insane life of addiction felt right.
This is why the first time I thought of change it just made no sense. Why change everything that makes me happy? Why look for a solution to a problem that I’ve convinced myself isn’t a problem? I was confused and this confusion created fear and this fear compelled me to stay on . the path odf addiction.
But no matter how strong the addiction, there comes a day when we see it for what it is. A day of clarity that allows us to see through the world that we created for ourselves to the world that was there before we changed. For me, the first emotion was fear. But what followed that was anger. Anger at myself for allowing myself to be duped. When reality slapped me in the face for the first time, my foundation crumbled. And yes, I was suddenly lost. I was scared and confused but over time, I gained strength and a belief that I really could change this world that I’d created.
Over time I began to see a world without the modified plant. And over time I could see things with a new clarity. It didn’t just happen. I had to search for it. I had to remember how things used to be. How they COULD be. And over the period of a few weeks, I was imagining a life of freedom.
And you know what? Over time, my fear of change not only subsided. It became a beacon. A shining light to my future. I knew that change doesn’t come easy but over time I was committed to change.
This was when I began preparing. My single goal from day one was to see my world without cigarettes in it. I knew that if in my minds eye I could see my world without cigarettes in it that it would become real. I prepped until I could not only see that but WANTED to see it.
When I put out that last cigarette, I had no fear of change but rather because of my preparations I was excited to quit. I was actually looking forward to it! Sure the first days were tough. That’s because change never comes easy.
I’ve always found that if we can forgive our past and stay focused on the future that we can win the war with ourselves. If we can always remember that what we do today will determine what our future looks like tomorrow then we will stay focused on the future rather then remembering the world of our addictions.
This is why I always say that the ability to quit lives within all of us. Sometimes it takes a little time to find all the right tools that we need to progress to our new world. But so long as we never give up on seeking that new world then we will find it. It took time to build our world of addiction and as such it takes time to change it.
So what’re you waiting for? I look forward to hearing of your personal freedom. Why? Because I know from experience how wonderful it feels inside and I want to see it shining in your life as well!
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!
Chuck
