Day 66

[DonnaMarie]

Day 66 and was just sitting here doing nothing in general when, all of a sudden, whoosh, an urge flew through the room and bopped me upside the head. I looked at my dog and said, "well fuckaduck!" She reminded me I don't smoke anymore, not that I really needed it. But you know what? Even after 66 days, those urges are hiding in the recesses of our minds just waiting to pop up and catch you unaware. It was only momentary and is long gone, but daggumit; I want those to stop.

I did take my own advice - an urge is not a command to smoke.

Other goings on include my personal mini pity party about my shoulder and potentially having to have surgery again. I'm about out of my funk and ready to move on, though. I kind of knew it was coming because the surgery in August really didn't fix anything. BTW, I quit for a week before that surgery and started up the day of surgery on the way home. Am I an addict or what? 

My dog has a quilt that I keep on my bed for her to sleep on. Just a lap sized thing. From time to time, I'll bring it downstairs and repair any wear and tear. I did that today. I think I just needed to hang out with my sewing machine. It's in the wash now with the rest of our bedding.

Oh, quick thing - last night, I did a volunteer thing for the cops (yes, twice in one day yesterday) and as I was putting my police volunteer jacket on to leave, I got a huge whiff of smoke! I haven't worn it in so long that I forgot it needed to be washed to get that smell out of it. It is also in the washer with everything else.

The rest of today is going to be much better. I just know it. I have a quickie dental thing at 3, dinner is already planned, no outings for tonight, and there will be clean sheets on the bed. What more could a girl ask for?

My personal lesson learned today is that I must always have my guard up and never, ever lost vigilance against my addiction. The second lesson is that pity parties don't do a girl much good. It's not even a fun way to wile away a few hours!