We each have our own history: we set ourselves free from many things and felt the joy of breaking the chains.
For as long as I remember, I wanted to break free: from an overwhelming family dynamic, where abuse and love made one; from an oppressing society in which telling a joke could have been the ticket to a life in prison; from a social order which placed me, the newest member, on the lowest level with no respect for my education or enthusiasm for working hard and be accepted; from yet another social order which while providing the bare minimum, kept me frozen in place, with no opportunities to grow and integrate. I finally settled in a place which gave me a chance, gave my son plenty of opportunities, and for that I am EXTREMELY grateful! And I stayed, it is where I am.
Smoking, I thought, helped me deal with any major crisis in adult life: obstacles, challenges, drastic moves, crushed hopes, getting myself together and starting over, smoking was my "friend".
It took many years, and a phase in my life where everything seemed to finally fall into place, to start thinking about what smoking was doing to me.
Of course for almost 40 years I was on autopilot when it came to smoking. Several attempts to quit, like many of us, but none of them really reached my conscience. It took the intervention of my conscience to take me where I am today.
EX made me think about smoking, look at it from all its faceted angles and its impact on my life, health, freedom. I needed guidance for this one, more than for many other changes in my life. But I found it here and for that I also am EXTREMELY grateful! I learned to use my mind, and to change my thoughts and consequently, my emotions. I learned to look at smoking for what it is, a terrible addiction, so breaking away from it did not seem as hard as I always thought. Quitting set me free, one more time!