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2019

Hello all.

 

Ever wonder where irrational thinking comes from? You know, the type of thinking that can be negative or harmful. I mean, when it comes to addiction, what really makes it become the deceptive friend that it pretends to be?

 

I’ve thought of this topic a lot over the years because I really wanted to know how I became a willing slave to myself. I know how it started but to know how we build our addiction is to know the inner workings of our own mind and yes, how that mind can transform what we believed to be our world into something completely different.

 

The first thing that comes to mind when thinking these thoughts is the reality that we had to work to create our addictions. We weren’t born with an all consuming desire to smoke. No, in the beginning we had to create that desire with the help of our dopamine receptors which are impacted by our smoking to help us to create the fantasy that what we’re doing is “pleasant”.  

 

Over time we begin to accept that smoking is a normal part of our lives and we slowly forget what really is normal. At first we think about the known damages to our bodies that smoking causes as we continue to create this chemical pleasure within ourselves by creating more damage. I think there were times in the beginning of my addiction when my rational thinking would surface and I’d have to change that thinking by making excuses for my actions.  

 

I’d think of the pleasure that smoking brought me, smothering my thoughts of reality. Over time I’d told myself of the pleasure so often that this became my reality. Thoughts of freedom and health were swept away by my desire to keep my world pleasant, even as I continued damaging myself.

 

When someone challenged my addiction, it would create an instant intense anger within me. I’d blurt out all of the excuses that I’d used to create my addiction; All of the thoughts that kept me enslaved, never realizing that the non addicted person I’d be talking to found what I was saying to be totally irrational thinking, and the reality is that it was!

 

I could write an entire book out of my personal discoveries, but that’s not really what this blog is about. The point that I’m really trying to get at is the fact that when we created the condition of addiction within ourselves, it took time and it actually took a lot of effort if you think about it. Changing our perception of our own reality isn’t easy to do and yet as addicts, we’re experts at it!

 

This is the basis of the fear of change I think. The part that makes us fear life without the comfort of the thoughts we’ve created for so long. Over time, we lose our memories of the past when we weren’t enslaved and the enslavement becomes what we consider to be normal.

 

I call these thoughts the tentacles of addiction. I see them that way because those irrational thoughts slither their way into the very core of our beings, every day becoming more and more entrenched.

 

When I quit, I would see myself pulling each of these out of me one by one as I mastered the reality of freedom. Each negative thought that I’d created in order to remain addicted had to be dealt with and transformed into a new positive thought.

 

That’s why quitting is a process. It took us a long time to create our addicted reality and as such it takes time to replace it. That’s why “one day at a time” or “one step at a time” has to be our mantra as we fight to be free! We must remain proud of each achievement we make as we change our world, and we must remain vigilant.

 

As we remove our irrational thoughts one by one and then move onto the next, we slowly start to see the reality that once was. We slowly discover that there really was no pleasure in our slavery. No, we created that illusion for ourselves. We learn that there’s so much happiness in our lives and that this happiness has nothing to do with a modified plant and then one day when all the tentacles are removed, we realize that we’re free. We see life the way we were meant to see it on that day we were born. So much peace and yes, a happiness that comes from within and never again has to be created for us!

 

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

 

Chuck

Of course it will end, but the whole urge thing is still unexpected. Thankfully, today hasn't been filled with them.

 

The friend I visited with last night - I've known here for 40+ years. We used to go out to bars and smoke and drink, and all that stuff that 20-somethings do. Last night, we were talking and she remembered the exact date (in the 1980s) when she and I both quit smoking on a National Smokeout day and signed a promise to each other not to smoke that day and night. She never smoked again. She said she doesn't understand how I can smoke and then just up and quit. I told her I hoped I was done with that, or as elvan says, NOPE not hope. It was a good conversation that took me way back to my days of smoke/not smoke/smoke/not smoke, etc. I like this determined not smoking much better.

 

I have plans today that will keep me busy enough to not deal with the confusion of NML. Little nap, shower, then Richard and I have a date tonight. We're going to a bluegrass concert in a town nearby. We might even go nuts and go out to eat (McDonald's is out to eat with my husband; he has very simple tastes!). 

 

Walking is done for today and a bunch of painting. Laundry to put in the dryer. Isn't life exciting? LOL

 

Happy day 74 to me!

 

Donna

Day 74

ShawnP

Update on Pops

Posted by ShawnP Champion Feb 27, 2019

I know many have asked about Pops recently. I spoke with him on the phone today. He is doing fine. His health is good. He will be retiring at end of this year and has his plans all set. He still has his sobriety but, he is smoking again. He's been busy and rarely checks his messages if anybody has sent him any. He will quit again but, right now isn't the right time. 

DonnaMarie

73 and me

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 27, 2019

Hi everyone,

 

It's day 73 and I'm feeling pretty happy about that. For every new person on this site, know that you can do it. Every minute you spend fighting an urge today will pay off ten-fold tomorrow. I promise. 

 

In the "all it seems is that I do medical stuff" news, I found a new doctor today. The one we're giving up is a good doctor, but both my husband and I have become disillusioned with him and, therefore, have lost our trust in him as our caregiver. I've been looking for someone now for a while. It's difficult as heck finding a doctor that is willing to take some time to talk to you before you sign on the dotted line. Richard and I met with this doctor this morning and really talked about our concerns, our wants, and our challenges as aging citizens who want to keep going and going and going. At the end, both he and I were more than satisfied and the doctor said he was up for the challenge (us!). We left there smiling and now I have appointments to cancel and appointments to make. It's dreadful when you don't feel confident in your physician! 

 

Tonight is volunteering at the police department and then working a couple hours. See? I need to be able to go, go, go, especially with the time and stress that was tied up in smoking now gone. 

 

I think it's time to make a sammy and call it lunch. Hope everyone's having a beautiful smoke-free day!

 

Donna

Day 73

MattRoux98

I’m struggling alot

Posted by MattRoux98 Feb 27, 2019

 withdrawals are really really hard right now. I’m happy then all of a sudden something will annoy me and strike a nerve causing me to lose my ****. It’s been like this for 5 days now. I can’t take it. I was better when I was smoking. I need to keep going but I regret going down this road as of now cause of how I am. I need help. This is so hard for me and probably the hardest obstacle of my life 

DonnaMarie

Day 72 and stupid MRI

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 26, 2019

I'm heading for triple digits! In another month, I'll be there and I do believe I'll make it.

 

I'm in get healthy mode, in case I haven't said that enough lately. I'm prepping for potential shoulder surgery and had an MRI of said shoulder today. I'm here to say loud and clear - "I do not like MRIs!"  I'm not the first and not the last person to have one of these scans, but ick. They give you earphones because it's so loud, but for most of the 25 minutes of "stay still!," it sounded like Desi Arnez beating the bongo drums really fast. I tried to make a tune out of it or play with the rhythm, but as soon as I'd get a hand on it, the noise would change. 25 minutes never seemed so long. Whew, I'm glad that's done with.

 

The rain has been stopped for a couple days now and the ground was dry enough today to do my walk. Even my dog was excited to be outside instead of stuck inside. She ran and played and we volleyed the basketball around the yard a bit. Normally, she just hangs out while I walk. This time, she was like a puppy. The painter was here and finished up the trim outside, just touching up here and there, and my front door is freshly painted after  years of dogs scratching their intentions to get inside onto it. 

 

I got out a bit after the MRI. I headed to Joann for fabric shopping therapy. Of course, I bought a piece. It's a habit I'm going to have to give up someday!

 

Sorry I haven't been around today. Just haven't felt like being on the computer, but did want to vent about the MRI and check in for the pledge. 

 

Happy Tuesday!

 

Donna

Day 72

DonnaMarie

Day 71 and a declaration

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 25, 2019

I've moved today. At least for a week. I'm now living in a town called Healthy City. Visitors are welcome.

I've been trying hard to get my eating under control and start exercising, even a little bit!, again. I've been doing a little here and a little there, but now I'm ready to bump it up a bit. I found a fun video to do on Amazon Prime, simple dance moves for people in their senior years. LOL I don't care. It was movement and it was a start.

 

I may be having my shoulder re-repaired and need to be in my healthiest form if I'm going under the knife again. Hopefully for the last time for a long time. Seems like I'm always getting something fixed. MRI is tomorrow. We'll see! 

 

So, to add to today being day 71 of quitting smoking, it's also day 1 of living in Healthy City. The rules for me are to a) not smoke, b) eat within my plan, c) get some movement, d) get some sleep, e) keep track of my blood sugar. 

 

Every day is a chance to begin again and today, I'm jumping on it!

 

Donna

Day 71

It will be 48 hours at 10pm for me. I honestly thought I’d terribly miss it but I don’t.. I feel so much more energy and happy but most of all free! The cravings still come and I have to breathe through them or find something to take my mind off of it but I realized when I truly decided and wanted it, it made it that much easier. Still struggling here and there when small stresses come but it makes me that much happier I’ve been able to work through them. I think I’ll reward myself with a nice warm bath with some oils and epsom salt to help relax and noise machine and hopefully get better rest tonight. Thank you all for your kind words and support through this 

-Mollie 

indingrl.01.06.2011

THANK YOU SHAWN!

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Feb 24, 2019

Just a note in HIS love to thank Shawn for the BEST bonfire party! THANK YOU SHAWN AND SO GOOD TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU SHAWN! I love you and appreciate ALL you do and continue to do for ALL of US here to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER!!!! Gentle hug. 

DonnaMarie

I survived

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 24, 2019

Yep, I survived my own entertaining. It is now day 70 of my quit! 

 

One of my friends asked me if drinking made me want to smoke. I told her I didn't know yet. Then I remembered I had some Bailey's and had some. It wasn't until later that I was able to answer her question: Yes, alcohol does make me yearn for a cigarette. Now I know! I didn't smoke. I let it ride, which is what I have learned to do over the past 69 days. I watched all evening as the 4 people (4 out of 8! 50%) went outside and returned. What I learned is that the other 4 of us had conversation inside and life went on. The conversation outside that I was "missing" wasn't really being missed; I was just having another one inside. Hmmm. So simple. As I mentioned earlier, the weather is so icky. Originally, 12 gals were coming. It worked out fine that only 8 could make it. Made for better card and game playing. I have a lot of food left over, but that's okay too. I see ham biscuits in my immediate future!

 

I also learned that alcohol interrupts my sleep. When did that happen? I thought it helped you sleep. I drink once or twice every three or four years. LOL I forgot how to do it. 

 

I'm on day 70 and it's wonderful. I'm protecting this quit as if it were life or death, which it is. My house is clean, my entertaining is done, everyone had a good time, and my husband is off to get burritos from McDonald's for breakfast. Am I a lucky woman or what? 

 

Donna

Day 70

Creating a new world for ourselves is never easy, especially if we don’t want to create that world in the first place. As an addict, the world of freedom seemed impossible to grasp. I mean, why change? What could possibly be better than this world we’re living right now?

 

It was crazy thinking but then the thoughts of an addict usually are. I think this is because as addicts, we replace our old belief system with a new one. We strive to keep our addiction safe because we believe that this addiction gives us strength and helps us to achieve that which we desire to achieve.

 

We push the negative aspects of our created world out of existence because it doesn’t fit with the narrative that we’ve created for ourselves. And over time, we become comfortable with the relationship we have with our addictions. The world we created for ourselves in order to rationalize our addictions becomes the foundation of our lives.

 

Over time, we begin to see our new foundation as the basis for how we live. We slowly lose our memories of what life was like before we chose to let a modified plant control it. Soon our addiction has completely consumed us, taking away our very ability to see the damage we do to ourselves. I know I lived this life for many years and you know what? Somehow this insane life of addiction felt right.

 

This is why the first time I thought of change it just made no sense. Why change everything that makes me happy? Why look for a solution to a problem that I’ve convinced myself isn’t a problem? I was confused and this confusion created fear and this fear compelled me to stay on .  the path odf addiction.

 

But no matter how strong the addiction, there comes a day when we see it for what it is. A day of clarity that allows us to see through the world that we created for ourselves to the world that was there before we changed. For me, the first emotion was fear. But what followed that was anger. Anger at myself for allowing myself to be duped. When reality slapped me in the face for the first time, my foundation crumbled. And yes, I was suddenly lost. I was scared and confused but over time, I gained strength and a belief that I really could change this world that I’d created.

 

Over time I began to see a world without the modified plant. And over time I could see things with a new clarity. It didn’t just happen. I had to search for it. I had to remember how things used to be. How they COULD be. And over the period of a few weeks, I was imagining a life of freedom.

 

And you know what? Over time, my fear of change not only subsided. It became a beacon. A shining light to my future. I knew that change doesn’t come easy but over time I was committed to change.

 

This was when I began preparing. My single goal from day one was to see my world without cigarettes in it. I knew that if in my minds eye I could see my world without cigarettes in it that it would become real. I prepped until I could not only see that but WANTED to see it.

When I put out that last cigarette, I had no fear of change but rather because of my preparations I was excited to quit. I was actually looking forward to it! Sure the first days were tough. That’s because change never comes easy.

 

I’ve always found that if we can forgive our past and stay focused on the future that we can win the war with ourselves. If we can always remember that what we do today will determine what our future looks like tomorrow then we will stay focused on the future rather then remembering the world of our addictions.

 

This is why I always say that the ability to quit lives within all of us. Sometimes it takes a little time to find all the right tools that we need to progress to our new world. But so long as we never give up on seeking that new world then we will find it. It took time to build our world of addiction and as such it takes time to change it.

 

So what’re you waiting for? I look forward to hearing of your personal freedom. Why? Because I know from experience how wonderful it feels inside and I want to see it shining in your life as well!

 

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

 

Chuck

WOW........this weather is something in MY area.....one day it is below zero and snowing like I am inside of a globe....the next day its 45 degrees and melting most of the snow....one day FROZEN BELOW FREEZING...YIKES ITS THE END OF THE WORLD.....and then....the next day it is winds blowing at 50 miles and hour and RAINING ALL THE DAY LONG......I watch for the NEXT NEWEST UPDATE ON THE WEATHER.....MY area and ALL the worlds and I am staying in prayer for ALL of US here on planet earth.....it just seems..... really..... NOT the usual weather I have been accustomed too.......like spring then summer then fall then winter.....spring flowers.... summer tanning at the beach.....fall walking through the woods kicking up the pretty leaves of browns...yellows...reds...and green mixed with brown yellow and red colors....then winter ....shoveling and salting and making a snowman......NOW 2019 weather.....I don't know if I am wearing MY swim suit in the dead of winter while looking up at a tree filled with yellow green and brown and red leaves that DO NOT FALL OFF THE TREE and the sun is shinning so HOT and bright as the below zero WIND at 30 miles and hour blowing and hitting ME in MY FACE which FEELS like ice picks on MY FACE but melt and run down MY face like I am the one crying ONLY I WAS JUST SHOVELING SNOW!!!!!!

     I am shocked at each day and I am blessed to wake up each NEW day so I  LOOK outside to see what the weather is TODAY.....before I turn on the television and WATCHING THE WEATHER CHANNEL.....FOR THE NEW DAY....RAIN....... for MY area .......all this day and I was WATCHING the news with the reports for the rest of the EARTH areas....flooding....tornadoes....rain and more rain.....mudslides.....snowing in parts of the world who do not get snow and some cities shut down due to  SNOW.......so I continue to pray and also to remember to calm down......and to come here and blog FIRST before..... I let MY emotions run ME to eat...... over the weather and that I MUST accept I am POWERLESS over the weather....then I remember...at least I am still growing and healing and LEARNING each NEW day to STAY IN REALITY and be responsible for ME and MY attitude and regardless of the MY WATCHING .....always watching.....the NEWS and the WEATHER CHANNEL.......so I turn the television.... OFF..... and came to the library to blog and just share and clean up the message UPDATES I received from 10 YEARS AGO FROM SOME OF MY FRIENDS....weird....that life on life's terms and only by Gods grace....I am OK.......thanks for letting ME share MY weather watching........laughing out loud.....I am grateful to the library being open with these rainy blowing winds......YAHOOOOOOOO bonfire tonight......yeah for Shawn....she always has the GREATEST BONFIRE PARTIES...........amen

DonnaMarie

Day 69 and entertaining day

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 23, 2019

Here it is - the day of the evening when I have the girls over. I'm in manic mode today with last minute cleaning and food prep. Argh! I need a maid and a caterer, someone who is a pro at this. LOL

 

Also, it's day 69 of my quit and even though there will be smokers here tonight (outside), I'm good to go. 

 

I won't be around much today, but wish you all an amazing smoke-free Saturday!

 

Donna

Don't forget the bonfire (not real one, virtual)  starts tomorrow night on my blog. More details he can be found here. 

Winter Bonfire Feb. 23-24th. 

 

See you then!!!

DonnaMarie

Day 68 and a fun milestone

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 22, 2019

 

1000 cigarettes not smoked AND 68 days AND Friday. Pretty good beginning today, don't you think?

 

Today is last of the cleaning day. You know how it is when you have friends coming over, right? You see dirt and mess where you thought it was once clean. I'm about done. Dusting and vacuuming in the living room and then it's time to start making the snacks - potato chips dipped in chocolate and nuts, Watergate salad, and some other stuff that doesn't need real making. There's a place in Williamsburg, The Cheese Shop, that is the go-to place for real Virginia ham, and I've ordered some to have on rolls. And my sister wanted some fruit from Edible Arrangements and that is ordered too.  Entertaining is something I really haven't done in a while. Even though it's just the girls, it's amazing how almost fun all this work is! 

 

On a nonsmoking note, I had the front porch cleaned professionally. The ceiling, the walls, the windows, the shutters, the floor, all of it. My screened porch is gleaming! She'll be back to put a fresh coat of paint on the painted parts, including the front door, but can't do it today because it's too humid and rainy. Other than sweeping and general cleaning, that poor porch hasn't been deep cleaned since we built the damned house. It should last for another 30 years, right?

 

I weigh in on Fridays and there's a loss this week of, drum roll please, 1/4-pound. I'm shooting for a half-pound or more next week. I'll take it! I still have a snack from time to time and I'll get past this part eventually. As long as I'm not gaining anymore, I'm happy. Guess what? Not smoking comes first.

 

I had an event with the police last night involving hanging with 7 and 8 year old Cub Scouts. Oh my word, do they have energy or what? My youngest kids are 34 and I'm not normally around little ones.  I pulled out all I could remember - Rock/Paper/Scissors and Simple Simon. I didn't have the kids alone for long, but whoo! I threatened to teach them Girl Scout songs and they all screamed "nooooooo!" It seemed like there were 100 of them, but it was only 8 of them. Overall, it was fun and I got a lot of exercise, didn't smoke, and didn't smell like smoke

 

Gonna finish reading and posting out here and then I have a smidgen of cleaning here in the living room to do. Y'all have a great day and don't smoke!

 

Donna

Day 68

DonnaMarie

Day 67, here we go

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 21, 2019

I had a wonderful victory today, day 67 of my quit, out in public.

 

It used to be, if someone struck up a conversation with me in public, I would slink back just a touch and try not to get my breath on the person. This morning, I went to Joann Fabrics to order some fabric since I ran out while cutting out a summer outfit. Two different people talked to me and I, fearlessly, talked to them! I didn't move back. I didn't semi hold my breath. I was right there in the conversation not worrying about smelling like smoke. I didn't even realize until afterward what had just happened. 

 

I have to say it was a boon to my quit. I was proud again. I texted my daughter and told her and she texted back her pride. (I've mentioned how she's one of my biggest cheerleader.) 

 

New people, pay attention. It's the little things that cement your quit. After those first 10 days while you're detoxing, your life changes. You're freer to be yourself. You don't stink!

 

On the way home, I played a song several times and sang out loud, holding out the tune as long as I could as a kind of breath training. I was just happier than hell and it required singing, you know? 

 

Now I'm home and getting ready to do some busy work around the house. 

 

And so.... I crow!

 

Donna

Day 67

anaussiemom

SNAP-ed

Posted by anaussiemom Feb 21, 2019

I want to smoke!   It is that simple!  I am going to smoke!
I need it and I want it!




Update**************
Had to face the world alone! Smokes everywhere to buy and be had. 
I am home !! 
I AM A NON-SMOKER!  A TRUE QUITTER.
I EMBRACED MY TEARS WITH MY CESSATION COUNCILOR!!  WITH STANDING IN GODS GRACE AND TINA H.   I CONQUERED A HORRIBLE EMOTIONAL DAY WITHOUT THE HELP OF TOBACCO!! 
ANOTHER DAY WON
MY EMOTIONS FEEL LIKE THEY ARE ON A FREAKING TRAMPOLINE!

DonnaMarie

Day 66

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 20, 2019

Day 66 and was just sitting here doing nothing in general when, all of a sudden, whoosh, an urge flew through the room and bopped me upside the head. I looked at my dog and said, "well fuckaduck!" She reminded me I don't smoke anymore, not that I really needed it. But you know what? Even after 66 days, those urges are hiding in the recesses of our minds just waiting to pop up and catch you unaware. It was only momentary and is long gone, but daggumit; I want those to stop.

 

I did take my own advice - an urge is not a command to smoke.

 

Other goings on include my personal mini pity party about my shoulder and potentially having to have surgery again. I'm about out of my funk and ready to move on, though. I kind of knew it was coming because the surgery in August really didn't fix anything. BTW, I quit for a week before that surgery and started up the day of surgery on the way home. Am I an addict or what? 

 

My dog has a quilt that I keep on my bed for her to sleep on. Just a lap sized thing. From time to time, I'll bring it downstairs and repair any wear and tear. I did that today. I think I just needed to hang out with my sewing machine. It's in the wash now with the rest of our bedding.

 

Oh, quick thing - last night, I did a volunteer thing for the cops (yes, twice in one day yesterday) and as I was putting my police volunteer jacket on to leave, I got a huge whiff of smoke! I haven't worn it in so long that I forgot it needed to be washed to get that smell out of it. It is also in the washer with everything else.

 

The rest of today is going to be much better. I just know it. I have a quickie dental thing at 3, dinner is already planned, no outings for tonight, and there will be clean sheets on the bed. What more could a girl ask for?

 

My personal lesson learned today is that I must always have my guard up and never, ever lost vigilance against my addiction. The second lesson is that pity parties don't do a girl much good. It's not even a fun way to wile away a few hours!

 

Wow, didn't know if I could make it.
Call from my Neighbor this morn. (Suzy).  
She needed me to come over, she is having a tough time with surgery, colostomy bags, and also comes depression, adjusting to new medical changes in her life.
I am thinking ok, she is a smoker, can I do this?
My brain says one cigarette, won't hurt.  I'm not finding myself saying no, to my thoughts, of having just one"!
  I pray for a miracle to not smoke, very quickly a little prayer.
God heard me loud and clear.  Start talking with Suzy... She is afraid she might not have the bag on right etc.  I said let me have a look; Did have the knowledge and some experience with them.  Anyway, moving past that issue.  And some butterscotch pie she had, yum. 
I mentioned EMS to her  and high bp, and such...   So she says I am running outside for a cig." 

She said do not come out with me, cuz you quit". 
Suzy has always been the  worst for enabling me.  (MY OWN WILL. My OWN FAULT).

Yes indeed God said this is wiped from your brain   as I sat waiting for Suzy to come back in.
She came back in, we continued our chatting. Amen Amen Amen !!
All I can say is Amen. Thank You GOD.
Thank YOU EXers.
Now I have to sit back and reflect, how easy it was to thinking it would be only one!!"""

I know better!!
I am going thru Hell, because of 46 years of abusing my body with tobacco!!


GOD!

Amen

Eight years ago today I made a decision that has seemingly changed my life forever! Eight years ago today I put out my last cigarette and after that day, I never looked back. My journey began with a small whisper in the back of my mind. A nagging feeling that something was wrong. As an addict, I couldn’t quite fathom what it was. I’d sit there in my little bathroom in the mornings smoking and coughing endlessly and still, I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was wrong.

 

Usually the problems that we face are quite clear but under the shroud of my addiction I just couldn’t see what wasn’t quite right in my world, or rather in hindsight I realize that I didn’t WANT to see what was wrong because the problem was with the very foundation of my life. The problem that was so hard for me to see was my smoking addiction!

 

I realized that I’d never seen this addiction as a problem before, even as the reality of what each of those cigarettes were doing to me was manifesting itself in real physical ways that I could no longer ignore. Deep in the core of my being, my self preservation reflex at long last became stronger than my addiction and for a moment I could see the reality of what I was doing to myself. For a moment the cloud of addiction lifted and I saw the reality of addiction. A reality that I had created over countless years and to be honest, it scared the heck out of me.

 

But you know what? That fear was nothing compared to the fear I felt when I first thought of doing something about it. That thought created a fear within me that rocked me to the very core of my foundation, and so for a while, I dismissed it, though the reality was now always there in the back of my mind, nagging me. Whispering to me that there was something I needed to do. Something very important for my future. Something that I shouldn’t put off.

 

I think this was a period where my mind had to learn to accept that which was so unacceptable to think about. And eventually, there came a day where I was able to not only think the thought of change, but I was able to grab hold of it. This was the first time I knew I was going to attempt to change the foundation of my life forever. And the fear I felt on that day was incredible!

 

I knew I’d need help if I was to be successful. My fear of change was enough to convince me of that and so I called a quit line and from there found this incredible place, filled with the wisdom of people in every stage of quitting. You see, we can learn from those who have just started the journey as well as from those who have found the answers to their own addictions and are willing to share those answers, or rather internal discoveries.

 

Using the knowledge of others and also doing a lot of soul searching, I began building my quit plan. I learned about triggers and urges and  how they affected me, or rather how I personally interacted with my addiction. The more I learned my enemy, the more my fear of change dissipated and as I began to understand what I was fearing, I was able to react to that fear in a more meaningful way. I was able to begin the process of building my new foundation and at the same time, I was able to peer into the world of freedom and over time, I wanted that freedom more than I wanted the future that I had created within me for so long. You know, that place where we choose to harm ourselves, never really knowing why. That place where we simply react rather than feel because of the depth of the addiction. That place filled with the lies we must tell ourselves in order to keep smoking.

 

I had no fear of quitting by the time I put out that last cigarette so long ago and you know what? Those first hard days seemed way easier than I’d expected. I think part of the reason for this was that I’d already experienced everything that happened to me at first through my practice quits. Sure it was tough. Change always is but if we’ve accepted that change as a positive one, it makes us so much stronger.

 

I struggled through those first days, understanding that the first days are the days where we learn how to live a new life, free of the baggage of the past. I’ve never regretted my decision to fight for change. I’ve also forgiven my past so that I can focus on the future. After all, when we choose to quit, we’ve made a choice to create a better tomorrow for both ourselves and those that we love.

 

And now I’m living that tomorrow, and you know what? It looks a lot like I always imagined it to be. So peaceful. So much calmer. So much freedom!!

 

I’m proud of my freedom and you should be too! All I can say is that if you haven’t put out that last cigarette yet but are thinking about it, try to look at this as a chance at a new life. If you’ve just put out that cigarette and are wondering if you’ll ever find peace, know that you will. And if you’re one who has found the true freedom that lives at the end of every quit, I’m proud of you, just as I’m proud of myself for choosing life over a slow agonizing death. For finding the truth just as I did and allowing that truth to grow into an incredible future!

 

Every element needed to quit lives within all of us. We just have to look inside and find those tools that we need because they’re there waiting to be discovered. All it takes is a desire to try and a belief that given the right circumstances, even if we have to create those circumstances in order to succeed, then we will win!

 

Keep fighting and one day you’ll realize that you’re free. It’s kind of funny but I can’t even remember when I became free. It just happened and now I’m living my dream of eight years ago and never intend to look back!

 

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

 

Chuck

anaussiemom

Somewhere

Posted by anaussiemom Feb 19, 2019

Somewhere over the rainbow,
Bluebirds fly.
If birds can fly over over the rainbow,
Then why, then why can't
I
(Bids fly high, why can't I)
(If birds fly high, why can't I)
If every little bluebirds fly (if every bird fly)
Over the rainbow,
Somebody tell me why, somebody tell me
(If bids fly high, why can't I)
Why can't I.

 Crazy Morning Mare this Morn" .  Seem to have weird dreams in the morn, more so than at night.  I call them morning mares.  Anyway I was so bummed in dream Smoking my brains out felt like it was real. I was so perplexed, trying to figure out when I picked up the first one...that spun me out of control chain smoking.
I knew I had finally quit the addiction.   Just couldn't remember picking up the first one... I thought I really failed my quit.  I was so disappointed.  In my dream I seen no reason to try again.  Cuz I was enjoying it
so......

EEK!

This Blue Bird" (ME) Is not picking up another cigarette at anytime, ever, not one more puff, not going to happen, I choose to be a quit until the day I die!

I will soar and sing like a beautiful blue bird"


I will reap the cherries with the small pits.  Happily and Merrily as often as possible.

Happy Tuesday~~

DonnaMarie

Day 65, busy already!

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 19, 2019

Here we are, day 65, and feeling pretty derned good about it.

 

I do volunteer work with the James City County Police Department and this morning, they did an active shooter drill with the local outlet mall. They often call on us to be customers or victims or something like that when these drills are happening. Today, I was a disgruntled customer in the CS department office. The "shooter" (a cop with blanks in the gun) did his thing and it was my job to follow the lead of the gal who worked in the office. She did a great job! She was scared to death, but I was so proud of her. I patted her on the back while we were barricaded in her office waiting for the door to be unlocked, indicating the drill was over. I told her she had done great, and she had! Her anxiety went down like you wouldn't believe. It's amazing what a human touch can do. Of course, if she had been averse or seemed skittish about me touching her, I wouldn't have done it. The drill was over by 8:30 a.m. and now I'm home and have been up way too long for me! LOL

 

Today, I go for a second opinion on my shoulder that I had surgery on in August. It's driving me nuts. Then tonight, I do another cop thing. This one is simply registering students as they arrive for the Citizens Forensics Academy. I normally don't have this much stuff to do in one day. It's a good thing I don't smoke. I don't have time to take a shower between each activity. That's my old habit, you see; I would take a shower before the doctor or going in public so people wouldn't know I smoked. What idiots we can be!

 

Just had breakfast part 2 and enjoying a cup of coffee and Perry Mason on TV. 

 

Here's hoping everyone has a gorgeous day. It's getting cold here!

 

Donna

Day 65

Onna

urges/habits

Posted by Onna Feb 18, 2019

I have made it one month and two days nicotine free. Days are easier than they  were that first week. (N.O.P.E. for me as I never want to experience hell week again).

I'm finding that I get "urges" rather than cravings ... But it's easier to overcome /ignore them. And it's only if we go to places we used to go (but have not been since we quit smoking)

Really weird... I can see the "ties" I guess.. that the addiction to nicotine had and the habits with it.

I think I understand the "two sets of seasons" post more now. Years and years of smoking were tied into a lot of habits/routine.

I understand that it will be a lifelong battle to never give into Nicorderm.

I did not think that I would make it this far and am grateful for every non smoking minute!

One thing I have noticed though is that I am extremely hungry.. all the time. I have not gained any weight (in fact I lost a couple pounds. Yay grapes and dark chocolate) but this is a concern of mine.

I seem to be switching the smoking habit to an eating habit. Food just taste so much yummier!

 

New goal: excercise more eat less sugar.

DonnaMarie

Day 64 and still at it

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 18, 2019

I'm feeling pretty proud today. I'm not letting up on my vigilance, but am doing some inner crowing. I went here and there today picking up supplies for the girls' game night on Saturday, and I also picked up some super healthy foods for myself for between now and then. 

 

I'm proud of 64 days smoke free. I'm proud of me for taking control of my food intake for 2 days now. Not smoking comes first, but it's less of a front burner issue every day. Being a nonsmoker makes me just want to cry from the rooftops! I QUIT! Don't worry, I'll always remember I'm an addict and one puff away from being a smoker. I can never, ever forget that. 

 

Regarding weight, I may have mentioned in the past that I was well over 300 pounds and unable to walk, sleep, or do anything other than eat. I had my left knee replaced and began exercising again. A year later, and 30 pounds lighter from merely adding exercise, I had my right knee replaced. I began not only exercising, but working on the weight I had gained. I joined WW and lost 55 pounds. I got into a rhythm and eventually topped out my weight loss at a bit over 100 pounds by 2013. I've remained steady since then. Last May, I decided to reach for another goal and lost another 20 over a few months. Now it's time to look at the quit smoking weight and address it. I'm ready. I don't need my jelly beans and ice cream anymore. I still have my cinnamon sticks and sugar free candies, and for at least the last 2 days, I haven't wanted to smoke or overeat. Go figure.

 

While being an addict includes my addiction to nicotine, I also have a bit of an eating addiction and it's time to take my control back before I go too far.

 

The good news is, I'm not giving up a thing. There is nothing but positive involved, just like with the smoking. I have no reason to smoke. Now I have no reason (or rationalization) for overeating.

 

And that, my friends, is my brain drain for my 64th day of smobriety. Hell yeah, I'm proud!

 

Donna

 

Chuck_Quit_2-20-2011

From the Heart

Posted by Chuck_Quit_2-20-2011 Feb 18, 2019

Good morning my friends!

 

Having been on a kind of forced hiatus, my mind found itself thinking of all of you quite often and there’s a very good reason for this, I think. My thoughts were thoughts of compassion, always wondering if everyone is OK.

 

For most of us when we find EX, we’re a bit confused and scared of change simply because we don’t yet understand that change enough to see it as a viable opportunity. Many of us don’t really want to quit, but we have to for one reason or another. At first our confidence level is shaky at best, and so we choose to interact with others who might be feeling the same things.

 

I think when we find a place like EX in this very confusing and trying time in our lives, and meet people just like ourselves who choose to interact with each other, it allows us to see our addiction through the eyes of another and quite often that other person has found their way through the twists and turns of their own addiction. We discover that maybe we’re not alone after all and this gives us the confidence to try to go on.

 

And believe me, in those first confusing times when our minds are filled with a constant argument and a kind of dread it means a lot to find others who have felt and as such understands that dread.

 

So yes, this site has been a special place for me. A place where I grew and transformed from an addict into a new found life filled with light, peace, and so much freedom. As such, a piece of my heart will always remain here, in this amazing place that helped me to teach myself how to be free. I will always be here when I can to perhaps make anothers day a little brighter. To show them through my own success that they too can be free! That freedom is there for the taking so long as we’re willing to take that first step into our new lives.

 

There’s strength in numbers. Always remember to come here first whenever your thoughts might waver from what’s truly in your heart. That heartbeat of freedom that lives just over the horizon as we face each new day until we reach that day where the freedom is no longer a dream. The day when that freedom becomes your beautiful new realty!

 

Stay true to your heart and before long you’ll be living a new life free from the suffering of slavery. And you’ll be picking up so much along the way that you can use for the rest of your life! There’s nothing negative about quitting. In fact even though it doesn’t feel like it, the entire experience is a positive one because the moment you put out that last cigarette, you become free.The trick is to convince that addicted side of the brain of that fact.

 

Keep fighting! Keep believing! And never, ever stop looking ahead to where your freedom lies. It’s the decisions you make today that will determine what your future will look like tomorrow. I hope you choose a bright one!

 

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

 

Chuck

Daniela-3-11-2016

3 min meditation

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Feb 18, 2019

If you want to learn it, this seems like a good start, enjoy! 

 

Chuck_Quit_2-20-2011

OOPS - I'm OK!!

Posted by Chuck_Quit_2-20-2011 Feb 17, 2019

Hey all,

 

I guess I never really let anyone know why I’ve been absent! Well, about a month ago, my last viable internet device crashed. Still working on getting something that I can get back on line with, but I’m OK! And yes, quite free from addiction.

 

I borrowed a laptop from a friend for this week do I can celebrate my eight years of freedom with all of you on the 20th. See you then!!

 

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

 

Chuck

Here it is, my smoking trash. It's beside my glider and next to the table upon which lived my puzzles. elvan, next to my ashtray is a tube of bubbles   You encouraged me to buy the, but they didn't do me much good hanging out with my smoking gear. That's a stack of puzzle and two books about quitting smoking, one from the last quit smoking class I went to. Notice how I would go from high test cigarettes to lighter brands. What a joke. We are such liars! But we lie only to ourselves when we smoke. I did my best to get my empty packs in my trash box, double bagged so that no ashes or crap got out, but often, it would overflow, like in this picture.  

 

This was my world every single morning, no matter the temperature. My beautiful screened porch with a view of the woods and I sat there every day smoking, drinking coffee, and doing puzzles or reading. It can be my world again one day, but it will be on my terms, not the cigarettes' terms. 

 

On a side note, my husband has cleaned the rest of the porch, including all of the dog hair. I was intent on doing my corner myself. I took the picture not just to show all of you, but to remind me of how gross smoking is. 

 

I just noticed the little red cups. Those are for my morning pills. Sigh. This is no longer my private spot of depravity.

On a less photographic note, today is a beautiful day 63. That garbage up there has been sitting for 63 days. LOL But I was ready to address it finally. Me and my big trash bag. Look at all those $5 per packs just sitting there. At least $5!

 

I don't do that anymore. The new normal for me is to enjoy my coffee with creamer with my dog and maybe Perry Mason on TV if it's time. I didn't use creamer before I quit. It's one of the things I changed and it's been working, so I'm going with it. 

 

I love my 50s style glider and table, and I am going to love reconnecting with them. In due time, Donna; in due time.

 

Happy Sunday everyone! Celebrate when you toss your smoking trash is something I'm going to remind newbies from now on. 

 

  • You're not giving up a thing when you quit smoking; you are gaining everything.
  • An urge is not a command to smoke.
  • Not One Puff Ever (N.O.P.E.)
  • You don't do that anymore.
  • Smoking is not an option. 
  • Celebrate when you dispose of all your smoking regalia and trash. 

 

Thank you to everyone here who has helped and is helping me quit and stay quit. You're all more valuable than you'll ever know.

 

Donna

Day 63

DonnaMarie

Day 62 weirdness

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 16, 2019

Yep, day 62. How about that? 

 

I got up and cooked for my husband and sister. I was feeling good and ready for my coffee. I read the weekly paper and tried to decide what to with my day. It's raining and sleeting, so some of our plans were dashed, but we can walk in the woods tomorrow when it stops, right? I decided to do something I hate - clean.

 

The downstairs bathroom is tiny and it is easiest cleaned while you're sitting on the floor using wipes to clean the floor. A pain in the butt, but the whole room is gleaming right now. 

 

Next stop, dining room. That's where my weekend guests will mostly be hanging out. It, too, is a pain in the arse to clean, but the 8x10 rug needed some attention. Got that room done. 

 

After I was done with the "housework," I sat down to paint and the strangest thing happened! An URGE! Where did that come from? I think I know - I used to clean and then go out on the porch with the dog to have a cigarette. Has it really been that long since I've cleaned enough of the house to have a routine urge?

 

The last thing I had planned was to clean my former smoking area on the front porch. I'm going to let that go to tomorrow. I can't wait to get it done, but I'm not sure right this minute is the time to do it.

 

Lesson learned is that even after this many days, I'll never be able to let my guard down, ever, ever, ever. 

 

Donna

Day 62 and proud as heck

Jeanmarc19561

Changed my mind

Posted by Jeanmarc19561 Feb 16, 2019

I've been thinking about NRT's. I've never used them in the past because like Alan Carr I thought fighting a nicotine addiction with nicotine did not make sense. This time however, I am pulling out all the stops to quit and using a patch (21mg) as well as the occasional gum. It is definitely helping because I experimented and went without for a day and noticed the difference. The patch does take the edge off. So what about the nicotine addiction itself? Isn't that our biggest enemy? My thoughts are now this on day 16. Yes and no. Yes it was nicotine that brought us to the point where we are at now but there is, I believe, something else that demands more of our attention. My understanding is that anywhere from 72 hrs. to 3 months the chemical part of the addiction is gone. From pervious attempts I'd say this is accurate. The insidious enemy is association of a smoke and and an action or non action. So I started smoking regularly at 15 and I am now 62. Every single day I'd light up in any and all circumstances. Thats a lot of years and a lot of associations, i.e. triggers. Even in the short span I've not smoked I'm already experiencing moments when I realized I did not think of a smoke when I normally would have. Few and far between but there none the less. Now I read here that only 6% make it a full year. So here is why I've changed my mind about NRT's. It won't take long for the physical part of quitting to completed but the psychological aspect takes much longer for obvious reasons. We've smoked a long time. So a years time seems a realistic time frame for that. So for me, the patch is a benefit and worth whatever discomfort I my feel when I stop using them. This is not an endorsement for everyone but for those who find it helpful, don't feel guilty or "less strong" Whatever works! Have a great day everyone and stay focused! 

DonnaMarie

An eye opener on Day 61

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 15, 2019

I decided to do an accountability check on my weight today. I'm kinda proud to say I've gained 8 pounds in 2 months. I say proud because it could be so much worse. I could have gained those pounds and still be smoking. A little background - I lost 16ish pounds in May 2018. That's another reason I'm not panicking. My priority is quitting. I gave myself 90 days before I truly buckle down on weight again. So, yeah, I'm not upset, but my eyes have been opened and perhaps it's time to remind myself what I remind others - an urge is not a command to overeat. 

 

Today is an almost lazy Friday. The weather is really close to open window warm and my coffee was extra tasty this morning. Life is good!

 

Donna

Day 61

Today Sucks

Posted by SaraPeach Feb 14, 2019

I'm about to wrap up my "day 4" in 10 minutes. So far, today has been a struggle. I know part of that is because it is Valentine's Day, which has me down. I keep thinking about how I could go buy some and smoke for a few hours and start over again tomorrow. That is what I was doing for the week or so before I quit this time. I would buy a pack, chainsmoke for 3 or 4 hours, crush the rest of the pack, not smoke for like 18 or more hours and then do the same thing the next day.

 

I'm going to go for a short walk. Hopefully that will make me feel a bit better. Thanks for listening.

DonnaMarie

My Valentine's Day

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 14, 2019

I gave myself a Valentine's Day gift. It's a 6, a big ole 6 that goes with a zero. Yep, I'm at 60 days smoke-free today. Not a bad gift. It's a life saver, for sure. 

 

I'll get over this eventually, but I constantly wonder why I'm able to quit this time. I don't question it! I just plain stopped. No real plans. I was quitting, sort of, before I went to the ER on 12/17/18, but my heart wasn't in it. Not even close. I did take a shower and brush my teeth before driving to the hospital. Know why I did that? I didn't want to smell like smoke. Is that sad or what? We act like such fools when we smoke.

 

My husband is out of town, so my VD plans include going to dinner with my sister and a good friend, and then off to the local community theater to see a play. My friend doesn't smoke, but my sister does; I suspect she'll keep it to a minimum while we're out. I need to always be cognizant of it though. My husband going out of town used to give me permission to smoke. That, in addition to going out with the girls, would have doubled that permission. Today and tonight, though, smoking is not going to happen. N.O.P.E. is more important than ever.

 

I've been painting and crafting all morning. I have rocks base painted that will last me a while. I even got out the vacuum for my sewing room (our former dining room) after I gave it a good tidying. Right now, though, I think I'm going to get a tiny little nap to prepare me to make good decisions later. 

 

Here's hoping Mandolinrain is feeling like a million bucks today (or even a half-million). 

 

Happy Valentine's Day quitters!

 

Donna

Day 60

Jeanmarc19561

Two weeks

Posted by Jeanmarc19561 Feb 13, 2019

Today is two weeks without a smoke and it's been interesting. Not horrible or knuckle biting but to put it in a genteel fashion, challenging at times. Ok, let's cut the crap. A couple of times would have been a disaster if I was one of those who kept a pack around "just in case". But so far so good. This afternoon I read Allen Carrs book per your suggestion and it was very good but it also triggered a "moment" One that I had to laugh at myself over. Near the beginning you'll read this, "It's essential to keep smoking until you have finished the book completely." My first reaction was Woo woo!! and to take Mr. Carrs instructions to heart because he said we should achieve success "Provided we follow all instructions". In the book this is capitalized. So my first thought is 1-as an ex military person I can follow orders 2-Who am I to argue with a proven method of quitting smoking. 3- I'll follow the instructions and smoke until I finish the book. Of course I didn't but this is how the addictive mind works. That is what I remembered as I was reading the book and when I went back to re read the part about smoking till you finish the book I read what I had to have read before but conveniently did not register in my addicted mind was the previous sentence, "provided that you are not a non-smoker or an ex smoker" Whew, close one! I say this mostly in jest. Anyway, hope everyone is doing well and have a great evening! 

Just passed 72 hours!

Posted by SaraPeach Feb 13, 2019

Onto day 4 -- woo! Today hasn't been too bad so far, but I have to drive about 35 minutes to a doctor's appointment with my new gastroenterologist this afternoon. Driving is a big trigger for me, but it will be nice not to reek like smoke at the doctor's office and be able to answer with "n.o.p.e." if they ask if I smoke!

 

Thank you for all the support so far. This site is awesome.

DonnaMarie

Day 59

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 13, 2019

As I embark on my 59th day of nonsmoking, I do so with some grateful thoughts and personal goals. 

 

  • I want to improve what I can, fix what I have broken, and learn to be comfortable with those things that remain the same. 
    • I quit smoking. I am working on improving exercise and food, as well as sleep.
    • I'm having some limiting fingers repaired so I can use them for years to come. I've had my knees replaced and a shoulder repaired. I work daily to put my sleep hygiene back together.
    • I exercise within my limits, eat foods that work for me and not against me, and look forward to waking up every day.
  • I wake up daily thinking that I'm going to make a change today. I'm never exactly what change the day will bring, but I make at least one goal and work toward it. Today's goal is to complete base painting some rocks and to tackle my kitchen counter. 
  • I am going to be 64 this year. I want that number to surprise people when they meet me. I'm doing my best to push back against the "ravages" of aging. Not sure what else to call it other than ravages. It's really a dirty joke that our bodies play as we age and in my case, I can either let it kick my hiney or I can flow with it. It related to all that stuff above.
  • I'm so happy that my sense of humor is intact. I'm a little skewed and I'm okay with that. 
  • And I am grateful to be here and to have met fellow quitters who are always in my corner. I've said it before, but new quitters and elders both inspire me daily to keep my quit. 

 

Enough about me. How's your day going? 

 

Donna

Day 59

DonnaMarie

Day 58

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 12, 2019

I'm bored. Just plain bored. LOL 

 

In the old days, I'd grab my phone and a cup of coffee and hit the deck or the front porch with a pack of cigarettes and my dog, maybe a crossword puzzle book, and waste an hour or two doing absolutely nothing but continuing my slow suicide. I don't do that anymore. So now, I have to push through the boredom without cigarettes. Guess what? It's not so bad. You would think that at almost 2 months, I'd be used to this, but I'm not. 

 

My dog destroyed a toy a few weeks ago, so I rebuilt, repaired, stuffed, and revitalized it this morning. I'm thinking of....gasp.....cleaning. The reason for the gasp? I could be a real neat freak if I had a maid. LOL I hate housework and will find 2200 reasons to avoid it. Reality dictates, though. I'm having girls game night here on 2/23 and need to do some neatening and tidying. Blech. It's raining and I totally don't have the oomph I need to clean anything. Poor me, right?

 

The good news is that I'm getting used to this nonsmoking thing. The urges are easing up to the point where I probably didn't have any yesterday. I'm using fewer and fewer of my cinnamon sticks and none of my cinnamon toothpicks. I'm seriously trying to take control of my eating (which isn't totally out of control) and lose the 5ish pounds I've gained. I feel a bit sorry for my sister when she goes out for a smoke after a meal. Having said that, it pains me to admit that because I was and could be her. I've been that person. 

 

Anyway, I'm brain draining for no particular reason. No deep thoughts or insights. 

 

Here goes day 58. Let's kick it!

 

DonnaMarie

Visit to Hospice today

Posted by DonnaMarie Feb 11, 2019

I do some volunteering in the community, mostly at the local police department. With semi-retirement and quitting smoking, I am left with a ton of time on my hands. I do work part time (in the evenings, at home, on the computer, about 15 hours a week max) and my days are free. I've been looking at places around here to volunteer some of my time and somehow, ended up making an appointment with a community-run hospice center. They need folks for their desk, to do paperwork/admin duties, fill bird feeders, and a million other things that don't involve patient care. 

 

I feel like it's a good fit, but when I told my daughter I was interviewing there today, she said, "Mom, that sounds so sad." They don't call it dying at this hospice; they call it transitioning. Anyway, I left the interview feeling that I'd do stuff for them if they called. I don't think it's sad. I think it's noble that we treat our dying with respect and give them options and choices at the end of their lives. When the interviewer asked me why I chose hospice, I mentioned that I liked to pay back to the community and have done so for most of my life, and perhaps as a result, someone would give back to the community when it was my time to be in need.

 

None of this has to do with quitting smoking other than quitting has given me time to use as I please, and I think this is how I please to use it. 

 

Donna

Day 57


Amen.

My to do list...

Amen

Meditate, to say list...

So it is!
Happy Renew week everyone.

ShawnP

Bonfire???

Posted by ShawnP Champion Feb 9, 2019

It looks like it's been almost a year since we had a bonfire and it looks like we have alot of new people here as well.  I could throw one in 2 weeks if there is an interest? We can chase the winter blues away LOL

I wanted to thank you MY beloved Larry for teaching ME to help others when I am in need- you are a good example of LOVE OTHERS ABOVE YOURSELF!!! WAY TO GO!!! Prayers lifted for you Larry in MY Lord Jesus name amen Please take what HELP and let go of the rest-thank you.

ShawnP

Sing Your Victory

Posted by ShawnP Champion Feb 8, 2019

Helloooooo out here!!!
I was driving home tonight from work and listening to sirius and a song that I never heard came on. The lyrics made me think of our quits. How many times have we doubted ourselves in our quits? Didn't think we could go on or make it at all? We can make it through. We have each other here. Play this song and sing your victory!!


Nanalori

Day 8

Posted by Nanalori Feb 8, 2019

The irritably kicked in high gear yesterday-still with me today but not as intense. I didnt want to take it out on my client so bit my tongue n asked him not to talk to me and today he seems a lil scared of me, I brought a copy of the letter with me for him to read in hopes he can understand. He is so sensitive that he thinks he did something wrong and Im so tired of explaining to him that its the addiction withdrawals and I will be fine. Then he wants to fix me n that makes it worse for me... sticking to my cinnamon sticks n sugar free candy!!! 

indingrl.01.06.2011

love month

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Feb 8, 2019

Happy love to all and thanks for all your love and support and prayers. I am very grateful to be a non smoker today and grown up INSIDE to handle MY days as they come in MY Lord Jesus name amen. Please take what HELPS and let go of the rest-thank you.

These days in finding I'm not thinking much about smoking at all. There are fewer and fewer moments where I think  'wow I used to smoke in this situation.'  I'm still coming on and reading and participating on this site and whyquit site at the end of the day. But overall, I'm really getting used to the new lifestyle. I'm also much more sociable and more present at work these days and it's leading to better relationships with coworkers. I'm applying for a new job opening soon and it's a pretty good bump in pay and opportunity, so the improved relations could help to get that. I'm up against another person for the position, and she's also pretty qualified for the position  so we'll see how it goes. However, I'm so happy I'm not smoking now. If I were, I'd probably be out there smoking away and thinking and worrying about it rather than be inside talking with people and improving and building interpersonal relationships. I'm also finding I'm physically stronger and healthier nowadays from both the quit and the exercise. Not coughing all day and being ten pounds lighter helps a ton. This week I've even been kind of sick. In the past I'd probably be pretty severe by now and potentially have bronchitis. Instead  I've still been able to hit the gym each day and feel pretty good afterwards. It seems like the exercise is helping to minimize the severity of the cold. Perhaps it's just that I'm not smoking that's minimizing the severity of the cold.

 

Well, it's day 146 and I'm getting close to day 150. That will be 100 days away from my last quit which lasted 250 days. This time I'm absolutely determined to get past 250 and push to a full year without smoking and then to a full calendar year without smoking. I have gotten to about 8 months quit a few times in the last 20 years, and before that two years quit twice. But I haven't gotten to 9 months quit in a long time and I haven't been off cigarettes for a full calendar year since I was basically a young twenty something. I spent most of my twenties, all of my thirties, and a good portion of my forties smoking or quit for a short time. My goal is to be quit for the rest of my forties  and all of my fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties, nineties  and to a hundred and five without smoking. One thing I've noticed on this site and whyquit is that most of the people using these sites are in their fifties and sixties. All of them say they wish they had quit earlier. I'm planning on doing that. I had an uncle who smoked till about 42 who then quit and lived a long and healthy life till 96 upon which one afternoon he layed down for a nap, put his glasses on his nightstand and fell into his final sleep. No disease, no sickness, no infirmities, and sharp as he ever was (he invented those little wands you turn to open and close window blinds). That is the way to go, in my thinking. So, I've quit smoking at a similar age as he did and I'm hoping to have the same good luck and fortune he did as he aged. Aside from some good luck, the most fundamental prerequisite is that I never ever take a single puff of another cigarette. Others seem to be getting regular exercise, eating relatively healthily, having an appreciative mindset, staying active and curious and always looking to learn and do new things no matter how many birthdays you have celebrated. It seems that those who approach life with a joyful attitude are the ones who are most successful. I read a book once in which the author postulated that rather than success leading to happiness, happiness leads to success. Happiness is not something you search for, find, work for, earn, buy, get from another person, get from a drug, achieve, or arrive at. Happiness is something you choose to do, no matter what the situation is, and it is a precondition for all other success in life. Happy shouldn't be an adjective. It should be a verb. Like, rather than being our becoming happy, it seems that happy is something you do, like you need to decide you're going to do happy. You just gotta decide to do happiness. Then just start saying you're happy, tell yourself you're happy, do things with a happy attitude. I'm certain, now, that this will lead to success in every area of life. When I used to smoke, I never felt happy while smoking. In fact, while smoking I was almost always doing unhappiness. Griping to myself about all the things I didn't like or talking poorly about others. It just seems like nicotine had something to do with that. I mean, if you're constantly in a state of withdrawal, how could you feel or do happy? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we can or should be giddy with delight all the time or that we can't or shouldn't have a difficult day. I'm just saying that we can choose to do happy even when we are having a difficult day and we can focus more on doing happy at a more general level of our lives. Doing a happy attitude overall. Well  that's my thoughts for tonight. No more doing unhappy fueled by nicotine anymore that's for sure. 

hattonc

Wheezing

Posted by hattonc Feb 6, 2019

Did anyone else wheeze while u were a smoker ?

hattonc

Need support

Posted by hattonc Feb 5, 2019

So As im getting closer to my quit day things are piling up.. I lost my job yesterday and have been in a real funk today .. this is the last thing I needed .. I glad to be out of a terrible situation.. I worked for a real jerk , rude, belittling, etc.. but no one wants to be unemployed either .. this is not an excuse, it’s a fork in the road .. I want to keep my quit day as planned ., I cleaned my truck today , trying to prepare myself.. I need some kind of positivity in my life.. have a good evening...

Kkplayhouse

Day 11

Posted by Kkplayhouse Feb 5, 2019

I made it through day 11. I did not smoke. I found out a friend and coworker passed away. She left two son's 14 and 18. May God bless her.

Exploded

Sliced the artery in his neck

 

Hi Everyone, Just ranting a bit and perhaps be of help as well. I'm on my 6th day of not smoking and all of you know what that entails. Having gone through the process countless times I've come to expect a certain pattern. That the first three days would be the most difficult and somewhat ease a bit after that. Well this time was different. It was starting on the fourth day that I started experiencing urges with alarming frequency. So I pulled back a bit and gave it some thought. I'm 62 and started smoking at 15. What that means is that there is probably no time in my life when I didn't have a cigarette in any given circumstance. Feeling good, light up. Feeling down, light up. Under stress light up. Excited or bored, light up. And on it goes. Heck, I remember a time when I was in the Army I fell asleep smoking! But that realization did not answer the question as to why so many urges after three days. Then it hit me. I have a great deal of patience with other people but not so with myself. The thought process was lets get through the first three days then move on. Git er done as they say. That isn't how it works when quitting. You need to be patient. Deal with each urge as they come, know that more will come, but trust the folks here when they say it does get better and the urges are less frequent. I guess being patient with yourself is part of being good to yourself. I hope this is a benefit to someone. Just thought of something, how about if when an urge strikes we quickly think of something we're grateful for? 

jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007

Chaos

Posted by jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Feb 4, 2019

It's the unfamiliarity of not smoking

 

the link below has parallel's with quitting.

some insights, and, helpful suggestions.

 

 

 

How To Be Productive When Your Life Is In Chaos - Darius Foroux - Pocket 

anaussiemom

Rebirth

Posted by anaussiemom Feb 4, 2019


Time waits for no one...Or does it?

God is so good.  Dean and I needed a get away.  Bitter and so so sweet. We inhaled it all in.
Medical news was good and important, and so,  relaxing  too.

Dean and I, feel it rejuvenated, our souls.



True I believe

It surely does. 
Amen

test after another and then medicine ONE after another given and THEN FOUR DAYS LATER OUT OF HOSPITAL and MY beloved daughter home with ME- doctors have done all they can- sepsis is living with cirrohsis of the liver and given STRONG antibotics which they have given to her in hospital and gave with script to be filled at store but the state medical card will NOT cove half her medicine NEEDED to live so thats LIFE- WE TRUST GOD- and she has liver dr appt on tuesday feb 5-2019@ 3:30pm- she is staying with ME and WE MY husband and I will be taking her to -tests - doctor appointments and university of chicago to get on liver list- the doctors have done all they can for MY daughter and her disease- cirrhosis of the liver- WE have done ALL we were required to - God saved her life again- a liter of water- ascities disease- drained from her lung area - none in abdomen area- three bands put on esophagus vacries BEFORE IT RUPTURED AGAIN - last year- jan 8-2018 it  ruptured in her throat stomach and bowels and she was in coma 8 days in Colorado and God let her wake up Jan 17-2018-MY 61st bday - and NOW Jan -2019 they caught it and operated- WE ALL are  thanking God for His tender mercies on US ALL - NEXT HER BLOOD- - ALL blood levels OK - she had too HIGH of levels in her blood- sepsis blood infection- and also too much ammoina levels in her blood and TODAY- she must poop EVERYDAY- DO NOT MISS ONE DAY OF POOPING - if you do cone to hospital - for someone living with cirrhosis of the liver it is very DANGEROUSand  that LIFE of MY NON SMOKER LIVING IN REALITY ONE BREATHE AT A TIME FOR ME and only by Gods grace- I will NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER- fyi smoking cigs puts AMMONIA in the blood stream- OVER abundance of AMMONIA in MY daughters blood is POISION - shes 33 YEARS OLD - HER DISEASE - HER LIFE And her CHOICE TO SMOKE-  I will love in HIS LOVE - and TRUST GOD ALONE-for HE has brought ME this far-  it is MY Holy Comforter that keeps ME focused on MY Lord Jesus - once diagnosed with ascities it is a 2 year life expectancy - 2016 diagnosed with ascites and cirrhosis of the liver- which is 3-5 YEARS life expectancy - LIVER DR SAID - you need to get on LIVER LIST - WE will do what WE can and you do yours and get the paperwork and testing going for that NEW LIVER- I only trust God and for ME I know that MY Lord Jesus-  who can touch MY beloved daughter and heal her YET even if He doesn't- I will CLING TO HIM by MY Holy Spirit Comforter to Counsel ME- for MY Lord Jesus is MY ONLY HOPE- REALITY AND FACT - MY daughter - it is written - belongs to Christ and Christ is Gods- so either way for MY beloved daughter- it is written absent from this body present with the Lord - WE will be together - HERE AND IN HEAVEN FOR ETERNITY- so NO worries GOD is Sovereign and in COMPLETE CONTROL OF ALL - in MY Lord Jesus name amen. Please I am talking about ME and MY daughter NOT anyone else- please take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim- thank you! Thank you ALL for your prayers and HELPING ME NEVER TO TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER! amen and amen

It starts with the decision to quit smoking and making the choice to stick with it N.M.W. - No Matter What, for me when I finally wised up I wanted support so i got on line and found this site because after a half dozen failed attempts I'd had enough of playing Russian Roulette with my life so I started reading everything I could find about this horrid addiction anyway to make a long story short here I am living a life of Freedom it's been 1664 days of being an EXer as horrendous as the cravings and moodswings and lack of sleep were at times I knew that I was going to make it through from all of the reading that I did here and of course all the awesome people in this community that talked me through some horrid rough patches, if you're struggling let us know by blogging HELP because we're all here to help you in any way we can. It's Groundhog's Day   if he sees his Shadow we'll have 6 more weeks of Winter   and if he doesn't see his Shadow we'll still have 6 more weeks of Winter hummmmmm  happy Smokefree Saturday everyone.....

 

Daniela-3-11-2016

Breaking free

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Feb 1, 2019

We each have our own history: we set ourselves free from many things and felt the joy of breaking the chains.

 

For as long as I remember, I wanted to break free: from an overwhelming family dynamic, where abuse and love made one;  from an oppressing society in which telling a joke could have been the ticket to a life in prison; from a social order which placed me, the newest member, on the lowest level with no respect for my education or enthusiasm for working hard and be accepted; from yet another social order which while providing the bare minimum, kept me frozen in place, with no opportunities to grow and integrate.  I finally settled in a place which gave me a chance, gave my son plenty of opportunities, and for that I am EXTREMELY grateful! And I stayed, it is where I am.

 

Smoking, I thought, helped me deal with any major crisis in adult life: obstacles, challenges, drastic moves, crushed hopes, getting myself together and starting over, smoking was my "friend".

 

It took many years, and a phase in my life where everything seemed to finally fall into place, to start thinking about what smoking was doing to me.

Of course for almost 40 years I was on autopilot when it came to smoking. Several attempts to quit, like many of us, but none of them really reached my conscience.  It took the intervention of my conscience to take me where I am today.

 

EX made me think about smoking, look at it from all its faceted angles and its impact on my life, health, freedom.  I needed guidance for this one, more than for many other changes in my life.  But I found it here and for that I also am EXTREMELY grateful!  I learned to use my mind, and to change my thoughts and consequently, my emotions.  I learned to look at smoking for what it is, a terrible addiction, so breaking away from it did not seem as hard as I always thought. Quitting set me free, one more time!

 

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