It's been eleven days since my last post when I got a 7:18 minute mile. Today I got it down two more seconds. I didn't run much last week because I took a trip to Las Vegas with my father. He goes there once a month to get an infusion treatment with an experimental drug for alzheimers. I found out that his cognitive tests over the last 18 months have improved significantly and it appears the drug is working. Anyhow, he's 83 and is happy to be able to not only get a chance to get cured of
Alzheimers and help prosperity but in top of that he gets a free flight, hotel, taxis, and some spending money every month to Vegas with mom. This month I went with him to give mom a break. I did do twice before last year prior to my quit. This time I couldn't stand the smell of cigarette smoke that permeated the entire casino resort. At the tables there were smokers too. I don't remember the smoke bothering me at all the previous trips but this time it was making me sick. The previous two times I won some money too but this time I couldn't focus at all and I lost. Another interesting thing was that last time I got really into the whole casino gaming. I was enjoying free drinks, the excitement of the games - craps is my dad's game so we played that. However, this time it just didn't resonate. I didn't enjoy the gaming or drinking much at all and definitely not the losing part either. It all seems tied together though.these last few months I've been enjoying challenging myself to live a cleaner and healthier lifestyle and the whole casino thing just didn't jive. What I enjoyed this time the most was eating a cobb salad in a restaurant with my dad. Now, he never smoked or drank.his father had been a heavy smoker and died of heart disease when my dad was only 13. So dad always hated smoking and I never did it around him. He found out I smoked as a kid, but doesn't know I still smoked this long and thought I quit years ago - which I had until I started again. So the last two times I was in Vegas with him I had to sneak away constantly to get a smoke in. This time I didn't do that and it was so nice to be fully present with him. I realized that not only do I have a high risk of getting heart disease if I keep smoking like my grandfather died from, but I also could end up dying from smoking when my kids are teens if I don't stay quit now. My dad is always sad when he speaks of his father and I never want my children to be in the same situation. So, the sickening smell of the smoke, the greater presence of mind I experienced, and the acute awareness of my mortality and a fear of allowing history to repeat itself strengthened my resolve to make this quit stick and make it the final quit. I also want to do it to honor my father and his father, my grandfather I never met because he was taken from my father when he was just a boy. I do this, also, to honor my children who deserve to have their father there for them for another half century. I also do this for me cus, it just feels great to not be a slave to nicotine and to be living closer to my ideal sense of self these days.
