will renew my vow to myself, "I do not smoke anymore!
These links have by far given me a restored beautiful Christmas day.
Yesterday, hearing for the 3rd time by Nurse Asst.'s, by 3 different doctor offices, that I had this or that; Not knowing period! That I had any of this stuff that had been seen on x rays and such for, a year or less caused me great alarm.
The emotions and PTSD, I had reached yesterday was so frightening, because of so many dynamics in my life....
Hell ya, after 18 days of hard work @ times. Teaching my brain to redirect thinking in my brain into positive thinking and such. Feeling much better daily physically, small bouts at a time. Lit up and had 4 puffs of a cigarette... it felt good, and comforting, after bad news of nodules, and floored by that "word! No Doc" to talk to til January 15th! IT was to much for me. Watching my mom go thru this kind of stuff passing away at 56.
... Caring for her 24/7 with a new baby in my arms, tough stuff! PTSD, kicked in" big time. Justification! No! It was a bad choice of comfort zone, madness!
So reading up on a lot of things today, I realize I can do this and succeed and be very healthy, walk my dog, take karate, all that I hope too gain and then some. One baby breathe, and step, at a time!!
See you all tomorrow, knowing I am probably medically okay!
Felt doomed yesterday!
Today I feel a great sense, of relief and absolute renewal on my vow, to what I deserve in life, good health, more animals to rescue, etc... I HAVE NO NEED TO BASH DOCTORS. THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS. However, it is hard to ask a question about something, if you have no clue on findings of something????
Merry Christmas Everyone!!