Been on this site almost a year. Kinda strange when I ask God, to help me quit he sends me angels...Over and Over.
He seems to give me" illnesses to help me quit. Which I wish I would learn. But, I am not.
I panic, I grieve , I sob, I shake.
He has closed many doors, for me to help me be a non-smoker.
Im a sick again" with a gentle warning, I pray. This time!
This time with Bronchitis. My loving God has done so much to help me!! IDK how to stop this madness!
I have so many tools. It has become an empty obsession!
Been smoking since child birth it seems. I fear I may never be able to change the gazillion receptors in my brain of the chemical changes in my" brain.
To be happy and not grieve, and fall to the floor with panic attacks not knowing why.
Has anyone smokes a pack a day for almost 1/2 century, and feel and concur these horrible chemicals in freaking cigarettes!
I tremble as I write this. I stop for a few hours and hit crisis. I have meds, patches, music, water, candy, exercise equip, etc...
Can my brain really achieve relearning thought processes?
I think I need a new brain 
The more I seem to quit and fail the worse it gets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
