Good Day

Blog Post created by Christine13 on Nov 15, 2018

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Good Day today, I didn't smoke. was out to my Yoga class. I have been having a tough time again. My head keeps giving me indecision, yet I know this is the best thing for me. One moment I want to smoke, the next I don't. I want this to be easier, but it just isn't. I go out and my head says sure, stop buy a pack, you don't really want to stop smoking even if the Dr. says you must. I MUST do this, and not give in. There are so many better things to do with my time and energy. My neighbour was with me today, and she reaked of smoke. It made me feel revolted to know I stank like that!! She asked me if I wanted a smoke on the way home, I said no thanks.

I smell clean, I have kids to live for. They need me even tho they are grown. I know they love me. So today the thought that keeps me going is I have to live for them, and do my best. Christmas will be weird this year without Brian, I am making it through this one step, one day at a time. For everyone here, thank you.

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16 Comments

chuck-2-20-2011 Nov 15, 2018 5:28 PM
Glad to hear you had a good smoke free day. Not so glad to hear that your friend offered you a cigarette, but again I'm proud of you for not taking it. Quitting smoking while already having a big hole in your heart can't be easy. I commend you for taking both the quit and life; one day at a time.

Keeping your kids as a focus to stay free is both reality and proof that though life is hard right now, being free is more important to you. I remember my first Christmas without my spouse and you're right. It was weird but also doable. She loved Christmas and I found that I made that first Christmas in honor of her. I put up all the lights and even the tree just to honor her, and I could feel her there, smiling.

The next Christmases weren't so sad. I always to this day still feel her there on Christmas, looking at the lights and smiling. It's OK to miss them. Just know that with time, that hole in your heart will be filled with wonderful memories, once you're over the loss enough to start remembering them. Just as with losing an addiction, time heals all. Hang in there. You're doing great!!

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

Chuck
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SaraCorinne Nov 15, 2018 5:49 PM
Good Girl! Way to stay STRONG!
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Christine13 Nov 15, 2018 5:49 PM
Thanks so much for this Chuck. I have my tree up already as a tribute to Brian and his last Christmas last year. I am healing, I will be ok.
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elvan Nov 15, 2018 7:26 PM
Good for you Christine...that smell of smoke is rancid and you certainly do not want to smell like that. I think it's lovely that you have your tree up...I have to dig in the basement for my ornaments...usually get a tree after Thanksgiving which is EARLY this year. YIKES!

You can do this, Chris, I KNOW you can and you have many reasons.
Love,
Ellen
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indingrl Nov 15, 2018 8:21 PM
GOOD JOB Christine! I was having a rough day and blogged about wanting to smoke-then a woman said i have stage 4 lung cancer before you smoke put a plastic bag over your head and then smoke-when i read that i was grateful i blogged first and told MY truth and got her truth! Slow suffocating-that woman was jojo who was blessed by God with a double lung transplant and ran in NY marathon! Just sharing how she gave ME tough love truth! Amen-i am so proud of you blogging before using nicotine-fyi-reading 1 Thessaloins chapter 4 verses 13-18-all believers in Christ Jesus he will bring with him when he raptures all believers-i will see MY sister again just not yet! Love you and lifted you in prayer to be comforted in MY Lord Jesus name amen
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JonesCarpeDiem Nov 15, 2018 8:46 PM
Good
This takes some time.
We are always thinking whether we realize it or not.
Use some positive self talk whenever you can.
When you want to smoke maybe you could say "no thank you, I'm good" to yourself.
It doesn't have to be out loud forever but, you should hear yourself say it until it becomes natural to think it.
then, in time, the whole smoking thing will fade away
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Deena-A.-Yenni Nov 15, 2018 8:52 PM
You did have a good day!!
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Barbscloud Nov 16, 2018 6:21 AM
Do it for you. You're the best reason to be smoke free. Glad you had a good day.

Barb
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MarilynH Nov 16, 2018 7:30 AM
Love hugs and prayers coming your way for peace of mind Chris XO, I'm so proud of you for sticking with your precious quit I'm not impressed with your neighbor for offering you one but I'm so impressed with you, you are getting through these rough patches and craves even though it's extremely difficult BUT you are doing it keep moving forward and tell yourself as often as you need to that you don't do that anymore yell it right out loud if you have to because you don't smoke anymore . Wear an elastic band around your wrist and give it a snap if the craves get too strong BUT I believe you will make it through without having to do that XO.....
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Lauralives Nov 16, 2018 8:06 AM
Awesome Chris! You are getting one trigger after another under your smoke free belt of honor!! Hugs, Laura
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SimplySheri Nov 16, 2018 11:58 AM

I made a sign like this for my son who battles depression daily. Our thoughts wander and can touch on things that aren't in our best interest so please remember that you get to choose what thoughts you want to invest in You are in control of your behaviors and your thoughts can be pushed aside if you need them to be. Use what you learn on the yoga mat to guide you off the yoga mat as well. Focus, calm, and centered. You've come a long way, Christine, and I couldn't be happier for you!! You are doing well, my friend!
Sheri
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Giulia Nov 16, 2018 12:22 PM
Keep trusting that better part of you that says, "I don't need this this in my life." Because - you don't!
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Kejo Nov 16, 2018 5:52 PM
Oh my gosh.., I am crying AGAIN! There is something wrong with me LOL! I can’t imagine how difficult it must be during the holidays, but honestly — WAY TO GO. You are SO strong and doing wonderfully! Keep going!!
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- elvan @ Kejo on Nov 16, 2018 7:03 PM
  Kejo Crying jags come and go...your emotions are trying to get out because you have been stuffing them for as long as you smoked. I went through a period of time where I cried for three days straight and when I blogged about it, JonesCarpeDiem told me it was a GOOD thing because I was "watering" my cheeks. Cheeks NEED water.
  
  Hang in there, it really is a roller coaster, particularly at the beginning. I PROMISE you that it does get easier. Sometimes, one day at a time is too long and it has to be one emotion or one experience at a time.
  
  Best,
  Ellen
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  - Deena-A.-Yenni @ elvan on Nov 17, 2018 6:50 AM
    "watering" your cheeks...that's sweet.
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A.N.N. Nov 16, 2018 8:21 PM
Christine,
I'm so very happy for you that you chose not to smoke, inspite of all the emotions and temptations. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. The thing I keep telling myself when it's a really hard day is that smoking never fixed anything. And it truly never made anything more bearable either. It was just all we knew to do with our feelings. Just the fact that you put what you are feeling out here, means you really don't want to go back to smoking. Hang in there sweetie!
Ann
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