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Posted by Chuck_Quit_2-20-2011 Oct 28, 2018


When we first get past the fear that comes with the idea of quitting and see the idea of of being smokefree as a new possibility in our lives, or something that we might be able to achieve if we work for it, we begin to see through the lies of our addictions. It’s a time of discovery, though most of what we discover is the reality of what we did to ourselves and to be honest, I think the journey begins right then, on that first day of clear thinking. That day where we set aside the fear of change long enough to see the possibilities. To glimpse freedom for the first time.


Perhaps it was something that changed in our lives that got us to first consider the possibility of freedom. That was the case for me. In my case as many of you know, it was the endless coughing every morning, trying to get my lungs to function right while at the same time having a cigarette hanging out of my mouth. Even that was a wake up call that took me a while to see. But like most of us here, I did eventually allow myself to see through the addiction. To understand what I had done to myself and that I could blame no one for my own failings.


For me,this was the first point of acceptance for my quit. The moment that I actually “entertained” the idea of quitting. I realized I had to accept the fact that I must make this monumental change in my life to reach a better one, even though in the beginning, I personally had no idea what that better life would look like. I’d been addicted for so long that I just couldn’t quite wrap my mind around the concept of freedom from addiction.


And so I continued on, but now, something had changed. There was always this nagging thought in the back of my mind every time I lit another cigarette until I finally accepted the fact that I might actually quit.


That was my second lesson in acceptance. It was during my preparation, as I learned the enemy that I had built within my very soul that I realized what the foundation of my freedom would be. Acceptance for you see, quitting is very much about this one thing. We have to accept change in both our lives and our very minds and on top of that we have to convince ourselves that this is the change we really want even as the addict within screams at us, telling us that change is a horrible thing!


And so from the very first internal fight that I had, I knew that acceptance was the key to freedom. That if I could accept the world as a nonsmoker and see that vision instead of what I always saw as reality before, then there was no stopping me!


Sure, it takes a little time to learn how to win this war. And yes, it’s a hard road at first because when we’re addicts, seeing freedom is really hard.


I know there was a point in my quit where I’d tipped the scales in my favor. That I no longer feared change. That I’d accepted freedom as my new reality. That was the day that I knew I’d be free forever so long as I never lost sight of the fact that in order to change, we first have to accept both what we don’t like about our current situation and what we want to do to change it.


And with each new acceptance comes a renewed belief that this illusive freedom that we seek is just around the corner. Waiting for us to know that this is the life we want for ourselves. It’s within all of us to accept change. All we have to do is prefer that change over what our lives currently are.


So if you’re currently thinking about quitting, go for it! If your already on the path, continue to find ways to accept your new reality because in the end, it brings freedom and a kind of peace that I never would have believed was attainable had I not chosen so long ago to believe this new world existed and to understand that I fought for it and no one can ever take that away from me! I created the addict within my mind piece by piece and in the end, I had to dismantle it piece by piece for you see, I  wanted freedom more than I wanted slavery and once I accepted a new life of freedom my focused changed forever!!


Never give up and never give in!! The rewards are incredible!!






Stop and

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Oct 27, 2018

TODAY I stop to pray and then I stop and thank God for God-MY REALITY-FACT-NOT FEELINGS-which come and go and are fickle-YET-I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MINE! Please take what HELPS and let go of the rest-to be HELPFUL-is MY only aim-thank-please I am talking about ME not anyone else-TODAY is MY new day-YET-I am stuck by MY OWN CHOICE-in 2016 MY ADULT daughter CHOOSE of her own free will to use alcohol to drown out life-end result her CONSEQUENCE of that CHOICE of hers-cirohsis of her liver-2016 to 2018-this LIVER DISEASE is at the stage-dr said get on transplant list-quit alcohol-will you do whatever transplant dr says to do-she gave no answer-in 15 days she and I have been in ER room for dr to drain fluid out of her abdomen area and yesterday her right lung-she couldnt breathe-YET-she is using newport death sticks to cope-ONLY HALF A PACK-its her life-her free will choice-MY problem is I aint gonna use MY DRUG OF CHOICE-MARLBORO RED NICOTINE-because MY Lord Jesus doesnt use-please remember talking about ME-I am praying to be willing to accept and honor her free will CHOICE and to live MY OWN LIFE-when the dr was asking her the question-will you do what the liver dr asks-I SAID YES TO THE DR-OUT LOUD-he looked at ME with eyes saying I am talking to her-and the dr asked her again-she gave no answer-so the dr said your liver is 133 years old-your too young to have such a sick liver-they drained her right lung and released her-she used her death stick to cope-BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I-I stop and pray-dear Jesus dont let her suffer-HEAL HER QUICKLY OR TAKE HER QUICKLY-in MY mom HEART I am selfish and self centered as I watched her slowly dieing from the 5 stages of liver disease-I STOP-I BLOG-BEFORE I GIVE UP-I ASK MYSELF-WHO has the liver disease? I STOP and remember MY GOD will supply all I need just for TODAY-for ME to share MY life as a living one day at a time and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF OVER ME OR USE MY DAUGHTER CHOICES AS AN EXCUSE-HER LIFE IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS! TODAY I STOP-I thank all who take the time to read in MY need for SOME ONE TO KNOW USING NICOTINE TO COPE ONLY PRODUCES DEATH-and for ME-I chose to share MY broken heart - letting love lead ME here where a RECOVERING NICOTINE ADDICT IS LOVED AND FAMILY WELCOMES ME JUST AS I AM-RAW-REAL-FACT FACING REALITY-THATS LIFE DEAL WITH IT-SINAO-NOPE-NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF OVER ME EVER!



Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Oct 26, 2018

NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF OVER ME-SINAO-SMOKING IS NOT AN OPTION-NOT ONE PUFF OVER ME EVER! Yesterday was MY husband sister Judys bday- she turned 62 yrs YOUNG on 10-25-18 - he went over to her home where she was in hospice for 3 weeks- family invite to come say good byes- we went last saturday-hospice stated Judy time soon and may not make through night- Judy stayed to her bday and we went to say happy bday Judy-and MY husband prayed silently in his heart for her to go to heaven- Judy fought for 2 years-  fighting LUNG CANCER- Judy went home at 12:01 am.

There are times when, I say what the heck?  I want to smoke!!  There are times when I feel the pull to go get some.  I was sure feeling that way this morning.  Glad I didn't go.  I even gassed up the car the other day, and didn't buy any, but I bought a Lotto Ticket instead.

I have decided to work this quit for everything I am worth!  I can be the only one to choose not to smoke at any given time.  That means I must commit. I am afraid of commitment.  Does that make sense?  To thine own self be true.

  I WILL NOT SMOKE!!!!  It's up to me, to remain quit.  I am responsible for my quit!!

No one else.  

      What does 12 weeks or 6 months or forever on nicotine after you've quit smoking really guarantee?

      Not a whole lot.

      You are still closer to smoking by using it than someone who has worked their way out from under it.


      That old cigarette delivery system was the quickest way to your brain.

and you know it!

      If you are still thinking nicotine is the only reason you smoke?

      Nicotine is what keeps you coming back before you stop using it but, it is half the reason we smoke. Actually, I consider nicotine 10% of the reason that drives people back to smoking. IMO, Unlearning smoking is 90% of final success.

The problem is the ritual has taken over our lives.

      That ritual lodged in our routine is what makes people who haven't yet attained 4-6 months quit go back. They haven't turned their thinking away from smoking as yet, and actually most of us haven't at that stage.

      So, how do you know if or how to get off nicotine?

      You can't if you don't test yourself a little bit. 

      If you forget to use your patch, or you forget to take your nicotine with you, you test yourself and you make an informed decision by listening to your body. Nothing's keeping you from doing what you were doing if you're still uncomfortable but, how else are you going to know?




      I'm not telling you to get off your nicotine, I'm telling you how to.

When we make the decision to change our lives by choosing to quit smoking, it seems like an impossible task and to be honest for most of us, when we first choose to make that decision it seems like it’s an impossible task.


We spend most of our time as we’re addicted building the foundations of our addicted life. The idea being to convince ourselves that what we’re doing might possibly, maybe cause harm if we’re not careful, but also that it harms others but somehow, it won’t happen to us. We make the decision to see ourselves as happy and content simply because we have this thing always in the back of our minds like an itch that feels so good to scratch even though we know we shouldn’t be scratching it because if we keep scratching, it will eventually harm us.


And so we move on through our lives, building a world that more matches our desires rather than seeing what might be truth. And the longer we build that world of addiction on top of that foundation, the stronger it becomes.


Every time we lie to ourselves in order to remain addicted, we stab another tentacle into us and nurture it until it becomes interwoven into the very foundations of our lives. Well, that’s how it was for me at least, but I was pretty addicted.


When I saw the reality of what I was doing to myself, and I mean really saw it, I was terrified! How could I do this to myself? I looked around at those close to me, trying to find someone else to blame, but once you start seeing reality it’s harder to create new lies so I had to admit that there was no one to blame but myself.


No one else created this fake belief system that I had created. No one else lied to me and told me that bad things only happen to others. No one else put that cigarette in my mouth and lit it. No, this problem that I had spent so long enabling and strengthening with each lie that I told myself was all on me and as such, only I could get myself out of it.


This is when the thoughts began hitting me. How could I possibly do anything right without a cigarette to keep me focused? How could I live without the constant reward for every little task, that being the cigarette. The old friend. I wasn’t even sure if I could drive without a cigarette hanging out of my mouth.


That’s when I realized how strong of an addiction I’d created and nurtured. That’s when I realized that by quitting, I would be completely changing every facet of my life. I realized that it wouldn’t be easy to do on my own, so I found support here, and started building a quit plan, or rather the plans for my new foundation.


And so I spent the time I needed to spend kind of looking over the plans of the old foundation. I learned every facet that I could of that foundation because in order to build a new one without blowing up the entire house, sometimes we have to create the new one in pieces. Sometimes we have to learn about the old to create the new.


When we quit, we’re building a new foundation for our lives based on freedom rather than addiction. We’re slowly replacing the dangerous parts with more harmonious parts and at first, it’s not easy because we have to relearn each new facet of our lives. We have to force ourselves at first to see the benefits of what we’re doing for ourselves, and it’s hard because all we have to compare how we see our new world is our old lives of addiction. Our old memories of smoking.


And at these times, it’s really easy to decide that the old foundation was just fine after all. That’s why it’s such a fight at first. We just don’t have enough knowledge of how wonderful our new world will be until we spend some time there. We all have to do it. We all have to fight and scratch for our very sanity at first, and often we want to just forget it and go back to what seems normal.


But in the end so long as we stay true to ourselves, the old foundation just kind of fades away as the new one replaces it. And once our shiny new foundation is firmly anchored into place, we often wonder why we didn’t just do this in the first place because what we discover is that peace and freedom are things we rarely felt before.


And once you get there, you’ll finally understand all that our addictions had taken from our lives for so long. That new world was really always there. We just had to learn how to find it.  . . .






It Is Time.

Posted by Lauralives Oct 19, 2018

Dear Friends,

I want to apologize for not posting and supporting the EX site.  As many of you know, I had a relapse back in June and have continued to move my quit date out.  My quit date is Monday.  I have given myself too much time to smoke.  I am sick of it.  I am sick of coming up with excuses to keep smoking.  I am sick of coughing and feeling tired.  Sick of so many things.  I see how smoking gives me excuses to be even unhealthier in other ways.

I am tired of feeling like a failure.  I am moving past feeling sorry for myself and embracing the brave path forward.  It isn't easy for anyone.  

That is all for now but I plan on doing a lot of reading on this site over the next few days.  Solidifying my reasons for quitting and putting new, healthy steps down the path of NOPE.




Our 'last' quit

Posted by Jimbone Oct 18, 2018

I would wake up in the morning my arm flopping over to the nightstand and landing right where my cigarette pack lay. Right after opening my eyes from sleep at the start of a new day. A month and a couple days into my quit, my first thought of the day is now "what will be the first thing I put in my mouth today?" Currently it is my 50+ men's multi vitamin and seven gulps of water. 


We are all cross addicted. When I, as a long time friend of Mr. Bill, took my last drink on July 6 1987, the smokes remained. Part of twelve stepping until I left the meetings behind. Just learned that since age 16 I didn't know what it felt like to handle life, the good and the bad, the wins and losses, without some substance. I now know what I smell like, without the smoke, and I like me better. I never knew that I was smarter than the nicotine, and that smoking changed nothing either way. I work thru thoughts of smoking that seem so close sometimes I think maybe I am a cigarette, but no. I walk by the liquor case in the stores and am not bothered even remotely. That person I was no longer lives. My late Dad smoked until he quit and as a teen I was the sponge. I so mimicked him, so I picked up the habit in admiration. But he didn't give them to me, or get me started. That was all me. And likewise my quit is and will be.


There are some important poeple in my life I haven't told of my quit yet. It's a high mountain I have yet to climb. Both embarrassed because they know me as smarter than to smoke at all, and one will cause separation anxiety. I feel and fear this person might feel that I am leaving her behind. I will give that tell more time and space because I'm going on. Everyone's quit is theirs, I'll never judge if it's gradual; three, two smokes down to one or cold turkey which is where I'm headed after the 2mg lozenge treatment I've stepped down to, plus the migration from coffee to tea is complete. But I'm sensing the real me, gradually, the me I believed was there and that for almost a lifetime I've been longing to befriend. I'll not be a victim anymore.


I get weepy when I come on the site and silently survey many of you who carry burdens of health and loss so much heavier than my own, and feel that you have wherewithal to care, even for me. I want to grab hold of one who doubts they can do this and say, come aside, let's just walk together. Your victory is on the inside. Water it. I do that with prayer and meditation, knowing that I can't sell the spiritual solution to all. But take your freedom by force. Contend for it with zeal. Like it wanted to keep you in chains. One step, one day, one deeply breathed denial of your own demise thru smoking, at a time. And we'll see the day together that our feigned executioners' bottom lines will so go in the tank, in the toilet where they belong. And generations won't need to go thru another quit. Anymore. Because we will have shown them the way.

I’ve always believed in the power of the mind over our lives. I’ve also believed that we find truth when we seek it, so long as we’re willing to listen. That reality is what we make it, according to the whims of the mind. That choices must come from within and should never be dictated. And that we as humans seek harmony wherever we can find it.


The problem is that with addiction, all of these beliefs just sort of disappear or are tamped down by what becomes a one track mind. A mind consumed by first ensuring that we remain addicted and secondly, that nothing gets in the way of that addiction. It’s a gradual thing, the removing of our principals, and the thing is, we rarely fight this once we begin smoking.


For me, as the time passed with me and my addiction, I actually lost much of my belief system. I forgot that I was the master of my own reality, and that I make choices to create that reality. This is because my choices were being dictated to me by my nicotine receptors, and as such I somehow created the false belief that I was actually seeking harmony by continuing to smoke That the smoking actually created harmony within me.


As proof to myself that this was indeed the case, I’d think of those times when I somehow forgot to plan right and ran out of cigarettes. The mind went crazy and as such I think I changed one of my core beliefs and began believing that harmony could only be achieved by continuing to smoke. It was a firm belief in the core of my addiction. Feeding those receptors was the only way to create the needed harmony in my life.


And so, like a lot of addicts, I smoked more and more, completely forgetting my old beliefs and before long, or rather after way to many years my core belief system changed.


I think this happens for a lot of us. We fall into the clutches of addiction and never look back. But there’s one thing I have to tell you. The core belief system does return the moment we get the addiction out of the way. It never disappears, it just changes. As our minds evolve into the mind of an addict, we lose our core values because those values would never allow us to smoke.


But in the same way, those core values return once we’re free of the addiction. The hard part is finding them in order to quit in the first place. But I never lost sight of the belief that we will always find truth so long as we listen to the world around us as well as to ourselves. But we must first seek it in order to find it.


I think that this one value remained. The part where I always believed that we will find truth so long as we seek it and listen. This was the crack in my addiction. The single part that was left that allowed me to see a reality that I’d hidden from myself for so long.


I think that just as quitting is a process, so too is becoming addicted. We spend time

changing our core beliefs in order to keep feeding those receptors and creating the fake harmony that addiction creates within us.


That’s why I always saw my addiction at tentacles, wrapping themselves around every part of my being, and every day that we smoke, we create more of these tentacles and in order to quit, we have to learn and pull these tentacles out one by one until our core beliefs return to us, allowing us to see a new reality that was there all along.


Once we’ve cracked the foundation of our addiction just enough to peer at a life of freedom, the hardest part is already done. For me it wasn’t the quitting that was so hard. It was finding that crack that allowed my core beliefs to once again shine through, if even for a moment. The part that allowed me to take that first step into a world where once again, my foundation of life was complete.


And just like when I became addicted, when I felt the freedom, I never looked back!!


Never give up and never give in and you too will find that freedom that you’ve dreamed of for so very long! That core that you know is there, just waiting for you to fight for it. Go for it! Your future awaits you. I know you want that future to look bright and free and it’s within you to make it that way.





I hope everyone is doing well today. There was a time so long ago that I can’t even remember it when I wasn’t an addict. Of course, it was during the innocence of childhood. This realization was one of disbelief at first for you see, I’d never thought much about when I became an addict. After all, once I was addicted, things like that became rather unimportant.


What was important was making sure I could support my addiction, as is the case with most addicts. This became my first thought in the morning and at times my last thought before bed because I was only thirteen at the time. Too young to buy cigarettes and to stupid to see that there was a reason for that law law existing.


By the time I was eighteen, I was a full fledged addict and I lived that way for most of my life. The concept of quitting was simply that. A concept that would pop into my mind and then be pushed back to the farthest reaches of my brain.


By the time I decided to quit, I had no concept of what life would be like without cigarettes simply because it was so long ago when I’d had a life free of addiction and that life was well hidden from me by my own mind.


For many years, I’d entertain the idea of quitting and then simply forget about it because well, that was just easier. But one day in the blink of an eye, my wall of addiction came crashing down and I could peer into my future, and what I saw was incredibly ugly.


Somehow, in a single day, my quit became more than a concept. It became the makings of what could become reality. I was trembling just at the thought of quitting. My heart was pounding and I’ve never had one before but I thought I was having a panic attack. I was that scared of just the concept of quitting and almost gave up on the idea right then but there was a problem. This nagging cough that I had for hours every morning for hours at a time. This I knew wasn’t normal and for that reason as the coughing started once again the next morning, I knew for the first time that I was going to quit forever!


But because I had no reference to go by as to what life would be like without cigarettes, I knew I was going to need some help. As most of you know, I called the quitline and ordered patches and found a link to this site and somehow I knew that was all that would be needed. You see, I now had the resolve to quit. I just had to learn how.


I read and got a solid quit plan together with the help of this site, and then set about showing myself what a life of freedom might be like. I used many methods for this. Practice quits where I’d quit smoking for most of the day, just to find out what the withdrawals might do to me. I tracked my triggers and urges, learning about my enemy which was actually myself, and the addiction that I harbored inside of me. I cut down to four cigarettes a day and when I was sure I was ready, I stepped into my new life.


I know everything seems so intense when we first quit. We don’t know how to act without that cigarette in our hands to guide us. I remember jumping into the car on that first day and smiling. The reason was that before I quit, smoking and driving went hand in hand, or rather hand to mouth, if you get my meaning. I knew that when I entered my new life, this would be a hard one so I quit smoking in the car on day 1 of my preparation. This was a trigger I was ready for!


So many times as I learned my new life I’d reach inside of myself and I discovered that I now had time to look ahead. I realized that when I smoked, I really had very little time for just plain thinking. I was too busy feeding my nicotine receptors. But when we quit, the mind does have a bit more time and unfortunately for some of us, the mind tends to do what it always did and start thinking about the addiction.


This in turn creates discomfort, or what we perceive as a long endless crave. I found distraction, especially mental distraction to be a very useful tool to me. As such, I created Mt. Freedom as the symbol of my journey to freedom. And a quiet place at the foot of it where I could reflect. I created every little detail in my minds eye, down to the blades of grass and the clouds in the sky, and sure enough when I finished this exercise, the crave seemed easier. I had managed to get my mind to focus on new things besides my addiction and you know what? It felt good.


My point being that every person is different and as such every quit is an entity of its own. The answers to helping us to quit live inside of each of us. We just have to see through the wall that we created in our quest to remain enslaved in order to find it.


What we can do is offer a little support and understanding. The process is the same in a lot of ways and we can teach you that, but the little things that really make a quit successful has to come from inside, because that’s where the battle’s fought.


The rewards that await you are incredible! There’s so much peace in the world of freedom. I look forward to the day that you too will feel that peace and know that it all started in the blink of an eye . . . .






"Life Happens..."

Posted by minihorses Oct 15, 2018

It has been a really crappy couple of days for me. Y'all are probably sick of my whining from my last quit so I'm not going to elaborate what has gone on here.  Suffice it to say it's my nuclear family and  "stop the world I want to get off".  Boy have the cravings come on hard in the last few days.  Thank God my repeatedly uttered phrases of "N.O.P.E.", "I don't do that anymore", "smoking won't make things better because life happens whether we smoke or not" have really been my saving grace from a relapse.  Thanks EX-ers for the wise words because once you get them ingrained into your brain and fully understand the power they have over this addiction those phrases can save your butt from going back to the death sticks and another Day One!  And keep this in mind "Don't Panic" and "The answer to life, the universe and everything is 42."  The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Universe




I know it sounds like what someone would say who’s no longer in the throws of addiction, but this is something that helped me out during my prep as well as my quit. It was during my preparations that I first realized that I was doing just that: Dwelling on what I was losing.


I realized that my thoughts during my practice quits were always about what I was losing rather than understanding that by quitting, I was gaining everything! Those first days that I began preparing were really, really hard and being one that always strives to find answers, I turned inward because well, that’s where the quit would really be happening once I put out that last cigarette.


I realized that my thoughts were ones of jealousy, loss, change and yes, fear. I was looking at how my world will look once I put out that last cigarette. I wondered how I could possibly cope with life. How would I concentrate when I was alone, cause I always had a cigarette for that. How would I appreciate the world because in the past, I always had my cigarettes with me and somehow giving me a strange kind of confidence that I would no longer have after I quit.


I was fearing change and my new life, seeing it in my minds eye as a colorless and lifeless world without the old slave master to keep me company. I realized that I was jealous of all those who still smoked and that I feared failure.


I realized that in order to succeed, I’d need to lose that perception of things and for me, that was my eureka moment in my preparation for you see, not only had I really dug inside of myself to see what was generating the fear but I also figured out the very foundation of my addiction and how it interacted with me in my day to day life.


Now I had something to work on. Something that I knew would strengthen my quit and so when I’d do my practice quits, where I would quit for several hours, I looked inward to what my mind was telling my and I realized something new. It was like there were two voices inside of me. One was the voice of my addiction while the other was my voice of reason. And I realized that I’d hidden the voice of reason from myself in order to keep my addiction strong.


I realized that the voice of addiction that lived inside of me was stronger than the voice of reason. I think this is some of what we do when we become addicted. We suppress our reasonable thoughts in order to keep smoking.


This was the time that I actively began changing these thoughts within me. With each urge, I’d visualize my life without cigarettes in it. And I’d analyze how I was feeling and why. I’d see myself in my future without cigarettes and believe me, when a person is addicted, it’s actually hard to see a world without the source of the addiction.


I’d see myself with my children and grandchildren, everyone smiling and happy, including me. I realized that this visualization and actively changing my thoughts were gradually helping me to make the voice of reason louder than the voice of my addiction. Soon, all I wanted was to at last reach that quit date because I knew in every part of my being that this time would be different. This time my voice of reason will already be the dominant voice within me.


Don’t get me wrong. I had the same internal arguments all over again on those first days after I put out my last cigarette but just as I thought it would be, it was easier, and I had way more confidence in my ability to win.


All I can say is that preparation can be a key to success, but if you just decide one day to quit cold turkey, the same things apply. Look for that voice of reason inside. It’s right there, hiding behind your addiction because if you’re like me, that’s where you put it.


Change is always scary, but how you perceive that change can determine how easy the quit may be. But whatever tools you choose to put in your quit kit. Whatever methods you have learned along the way that work, the main thing is that you’re dedicated to a new life free of slavery.


I can tell you the world is just brighter once you reach the other side of addiction. And it’s free!! So very free!! And that feeling of pride and freedom that you’ll have when you reach the end of this ordeal is simply indescribable!!






I'm home!

Posted by SaraCorinne Oct 12, 2018

Just a quick note to let you know I'm home. 

I did half of my exercises now I'm just chillin'. 

The worst part, right now, is the compression thigh highs.

The best part is getting to sleep in my own bed tonight!

Thank you ALL for the well wishes!

Good night 

Sara 55 DOF



Posted by Chuck_Quit_2-20-2011 Oct 12, 2018

Good afternoon EXer’s!!


Boy, it can take me awhile to type these at the moment, but I don’t care! I’m just glad I found a way to get back in touch with all of you dedicated people!


Quitting an addiction is never easy. And the hardest part of it is that the entire experience lives inside of us.


There’s really not a lot that can be done by others to help us, besides offering a little support and knowledge so that people aren’t blindsided by so much of what happens. But one thing is certain, knowledge is a key to success!


We create our dreams within our minds and if we can hold onto those dreams, they really can become a reality. So many here have already taken the first step. The step that no one can do for you. The one where you decide deep within yourself that this addiction is killing you slowly and that something must be done about it.


If you’re like me, the moment the idea of quitting popped into my head, I felt fear, and a kind of unfocused dread. You see, when we actually decide to do something about our addictions, we’re shaking the very foundation of what we perceive to be our normal life.


After all the years of telling ourselves that smoking only harms other people. After living the lies of our own making for a long, long time in order to be comfortable with the fact that we’re slowly killing ourselves, we create a fake reality I think.


And when we shatter this reality, it scares us! That was the first lesson I learned when I started this amazing journey so long ago. That I’d been living a lie of my own making, and on top of that, I’d found ways to rationalize my slow death spiral in order to keep smoking!


For me, I knew that this was the root of my addiction. Fear of changing things. Fear of deprivation. I just knew that life would be different and it took me a while to wrap my head around this. To see through my own lies to the way life should be, free from slavery.


And so I prepped for my quit, knowing the entire time that if  could get rid of this fear of a new and different life, that I would succeed. I did a lot of what I called “playing with my addiction.”


I would do practice quits, where I wouldn’t smoke for several hours just to understand what I was going to experience. I learned and documented the times that I wanted to smoke, how I was feeling right before I smoked and how I felt after I smoked. I was taking the baby steps that made sense in order to step into a new life once and for all.


And as I prepped, I began to see glimpses of what my new life could be like. Of how I would cope with life without the cigarettes and over time as my mind began to slowly accept that I was about to change things forever. And as I accepted this, the fear of quitting began to fade.


I know now that had I not prepped. Had I not laid the foundation for my new life before I stepped into it, then I think I may have failed. For me, quitting was first finding the very foundation of my addiction and then blowing it up so that I could build a new one based on freedom rather than addiction.


I knew that I had accomplished my goal when I put out my last cigarette because there was no fear of quitting in my heart. In fact, I was actually smiling when I put out that cigarette for you see, I somehow knew that this really was at long last my last quit!  


Don’t get me wrong. I still had the same withdrawals that we all must face. I still had to work through the endless internal arguments of my addicted mind but this time I knew that I wanted freedom more than anything! This time I knew that so long as I continued to understand what was happening to me that I would be fine.


And almost eight years later I can say that the dream of freedom that I had so long ago is in fact my new reality. And I cherish that new reality every minute that I live it.


It’s within all of us to find that new reality. All we have to do is understand that things are different now. That we live on a new foundation of life and that foundation is called freedom!!


I long to see each and every one of you find the method that works for you. The method that allows you to see the other side of addiction. It takes a bit of work but the results are almost indescribable!






Checking In

Posted by Chuck_Quit_2-20-2011 Oct 11, 2018

Good afternoon EXer’s!


Just checking in again. As far as my quit goes, everything is fine. Still closing in on eight years!! Unfortunately, I had a major computer crash some time ago, and was to busy to fix it. So now I’m on an old laptop that I finally got upgraded enough to use, but unfortunately, the keyboard is shot, so it takes me awhile to type


Mainly, I wanted to let you all know that I’m still doing well!


There was a time when I believed that I could never reach this point in my life. A time when I believed that addiction WAS my life. You see, I’d allowed the addiction to consume me completely. To the point where I believed that there was no other life, or perhaps that I would never perceive it.


I was stuck in the dark world of addiction, and to be honest, for the longest time I really wasn’t all that interested in finding a way out of it. I felt entitled to smoke, and no one was ever going to tell me otherwise. And this to me was the root of the problem. I ignored those who tried to tell me of the horrible things I was doing to my body. For that matter, I ignored my own inner voice that sometimes would try to make me see through the cloud of smoke to reality. To the reality that I was slowly killing myself.


But over time, my body had symptoms that broke the barrier of my own making. Every morning, I would cough for hours on end as I smoked, and still I would ignore what I was doing to myself. For some reason, feeding my addiction was more important to me than facing the reality of addiction. It took a lot of reflection and self understanding to reach the point where I could even admit to myself that I was an addict.


And that was only the beginning! I allowed myself to see through my addiction and finally decided to turn these thoughts that were at first more of a fear into an actual reality. At last I had torn just enough of the tentacles of addiction from my body to see the reality of what I was doing to myself and you know what? For the first time, I was terrified!


I already had symptoms from my smoking. I began wondering if it was too late to even try to quit. I mean, why bother if it’s already over. But again, that was just the addiction talking, and at that time for some reason, I could see through my addiction. I think it was because I’d decided that the addiction wasn’t the number one driving force in my life. I’d already screwed up all those years ago when I started smoking and now I figured it was time to pick up the pieces of my life, rearrange those pieces and turn what was left into something amazing!!


That was almost eight years ago and you know what? All of those fears of the past began to melt away the moment I quit trying to harm myself. Suddenly I could see other things that were so much more important for me than smoking! The world just looked so much brighter and cleaner that I just couldn’t think of a single reason why I’d want to go back to the slavery of addiction.


My heart was filled with the thoughts of life rather than thoughts of when I was going to have that next cigarette. Don’t get me wrong. Quitting is never easy, but I learned that I was blinded by my addiction, and I knew this the moment I put out that last cigarette.


I remember that moment well. Standing on my deck and staring up at the beauty of Mt. Princeton. I only smoked about half of that cigarette. I thought that I’d think, “goodbye old friend.”


But that’s not how it was at all! In fact, I was smiling! Sure it was going to be tough, but I’d prepped and I was ready and not only that, I KNEW I was ready.


I think we create barriers for ourselves when we become addicted. It’s the only way we can cope with the reality of what we’re doing to ourselves. And then as we continue to feed that addiction, we reinforce those barriers, because really if we could see the reality of what we’re doing to ourselves. If we could see past the addiction, we’d never have started.


So when that day arrives where you can see through your barriers. When you can see through the lies that we told ourselves in order to stay addicted, then my friends it’s time to forgive your past and move onto that brighter future that we all know is there for the taking and never look back!! It’s your life and your future that you’re fighting for and trust me, it’s a fight well worth fighting!!


I look forward to the day that each and every one of you feels the freedom that I and so many others feel now. It’s an amazing reality that’s just over the horizon. All you have to do is fight for it!







Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Oct 9, 2018

We got text that MY sister-in-love is being sent a hospital bed and a hospice nurse TODAY!


Major Hurdle Overcome!

Posted by minihorses Oct 8, 2018

Today I managed to get through one of my huge triggers. I had a talk with both brats about our expectations which the one with Aspergers took it the wrong way.  Then, my mother called. Enough said?  All of us kids used to, and still do is call her 'Betty Bi***'.  So it was one of those days where I couldn't do anything right along with I was a crappy mom.  I usually go in the garage to talk to her because it's quieter than the house.  Guess what I used to do, pace and smoke like a freight train. After I spoke to my adult children I really wanted a smoke bad but I abstained. Yes there's still some in the garage.  As a got more angry with each "You have got to..." and "I don't understand why you can't..." I wanted that cigarette bad. I knew from my last quit that it was just the nicodemon summoning me with the lie that it would help. So mid conversation I threw the phone and it hit the concrete floor. It was not the action I should have taken but it felt good  although it was still connected to the conversation.


But I knew how the demon works, I knew this was one of my biggest triggers and EX has taught me how to recognize and cope with stressful situations without smoking. My failure last time in the spring may have been one of those things that was best in the end.  I'm really paying attention to what is causing the urge and remember what the demon does, ensnare people in their vulnerable states.


So HA-HA Mr. Cigarette! I cleared that hurdle with room to spare! I'm positive any stress will bring on another craving but I kicked the demon today and I will kill that demon again should he show his head when I'm stressed!




I am accepting that using NICOTINE causes LUNG CANCER....that is a FACT......for ME using NICOTINE to COPE WITH MY LIFE.....not anyone else!!!!! I am talking about ME....only NOT ANYONE for ME to accept MY LIFE and all that is happening in it with a FACT FOR ME...pray and acceptance is MY key.....I am watching MY beloved sister-in-love slowly die from LUNG CANCER which CANCER has taken over her whole body......acceptance is MY KEY.......CANCER went to her brain and they sent her home....called HOSPICE....acceptance is MY KEY...I know I have shared this already with all of you......JUST FOR THIS MOMENT OF MY TODAY.......I am having a hard time accepting at the MOMENT....this too shall pass and I appreciate all of you who have experienced the loss of your loved ones to LUNG CANCER....this is MY acceptance is  MY just VENT AND NOT TAKE ONE PUFF OVER ME OR MY FEELINGS OR MY ROUGH TIME ACCEPTING THIS DAY IN MY MOMENTS OF BREATHING.... ....MY DAY.......MY MOMENTS IN MY REALITY....I was taught to have an ABC plan for when they die to have found a support group dealing with CANCER DEATHS ...and I have done the research and in the area is one church that has this type of support group....... for those who HAVE LOST LOVED ONES TO LUNG only by Gods grace I have MY plan to join when MY loved ones go to heaven........NOT YET!!!!!!!.......I stay in prayer and let MYSELF cry and go and visit her and then go visit MY husbands mom who is dealing with breast cancer and......ACCEPTANCE IS MY KEY.....TODAY IS A FACT AND IN MY WORLD.. I am talking about ME.....FOR ME.......acceptance is MY key..... now MY mother-in-love is dealing with having mini strokes and bleeding of the brain and was in ICU Thursday and Friday she was taken out of ICU....MY DADDY GOD ANSWERED OUR FAMILY PRAYERS......all bleeding stopped with no surgery needed and her blood pressure is normal and she was transferred to a regular room and then they SUGGESTED for her to go to a stroke rehabilitation place at a different hospital........acceptance is MY KEY........FACT........doctors plan to exercise her right leg.....3 times a day for the next two weeks and then send her home for therapy by sending a caregiver to help at home with her exercise daily.  Praising MY GOD for his mercy and grace upon grace and the strength MY mom-in-love has at age 95 is Gods amazing grace upon her by faith in OUR FAMILY BELIEF in OUR Lord Jesus...amen and amen.......Thanks for letting ME just share the good news and please know for ME..... only by Gods grace.... I will never take another puff over ME or MY own personal thoughts or feelings or life as it jumps out of the bushes on MY FACE sometimes with SUDDEN CAUGHT OFF GUARD MOMENTS....only by Gods grace...... I remember what the ELDERS taught ME long time ago....SUGGESTION TO ME........ TO STAY NICOTINE FREE...... IS THINK OF OTHERS ABOVE MYSELF......I want to thank you..... MY beloved brother Thomas_3-20-10 for being MY EXAMPLE OF TRUE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND keep it is to give it all away..... to HELP the next suffering nicotine addict to keep moving forward and BLOG first..... to receive the HOPE that MY beloved Christian....who has 6 NICOTINE FREE DAYS TODAY.....taught ME....TODAY....TO BLOG FIRST AND ASK FOR HELP EVEN IF IT IS JUST TO VENT WITH ALL OF MY ISSUES.....acceptance is MY key.....thank you Christine for being MY shining HOPE just for TODAY........ TOGETHER WE WILL STAY NON SMOKERS WITH GRATEFUL HEARTS....each in OUR OWN way individually and TOGETHER..... BY SHARING IS CARING...passing on OUR experience and strength and hope by living ONE DAY AT A TIME AS NON SMOKERS........dealing with life on life's terms......for ME.....acceptance is MY key...... in MY Lord Jesus name amen and amen.......PLEASE take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim.....thank you all!


For More Info

Posted by IrishRose Oct 4, 2018

LIFE GOES on last night- my husbands mom had a mini stroke-right side leg and foot drag-bleeding in brain-LIFE GOES on today-His mom-Dorothy-95 is in ICU-bleeding stopped-blood pressure high-nitro under tongue-doc may move Dorothy to regular room-then to stroke hospital for 3 hour threapy-3 times a day-or use wheel chair forever-Dorothy will choose-she is also dealing with breast cancer too-WE are staying in prayer and for ME personally- i blog to share and stay an adult-remembering-NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER-NOT ONE PUFF EVER OVER ME-LIFE GOES on- my husband also dealing with his sister in her last stage of brain cancer - losing weight and sleeping more and more-LIFE GOES on my husband and i have eaten healthier and consistently we have exercised 6 days a week and in the month of sept he lost 16 lbs and 2 and half inches off waist and i lost 19 lbs and 1 inch off waist-when LIFE GOES ON WE discipline ourselves as a team living a new lifestyle even when LIFE GOES on sucks yet WE choose to see GODS GOOD anyway-talking about US not anyone else-please take what helps and let go of the rest-thank you.

It's called look before you leap.

It's called common sense over emotion.

It's called "take a breath" don't jump to your death.

It's called WTH are you doing Fred?


Use your innerhead.

If you consider that who you are is a collection of thoughts

it's everything, it's all you've got.

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