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Share your quitting journey

I am right back where I started...Full Blown Relapse...Today New Day 1

princessdeb
Member
6 40 651

I'm not going to make any excuses!  It all happened so fast...One puff...one smoke and next thing I know I was buying a pack... Sneaking around... I kept telling myself that when this pack is gone, THAT'S IT!!  And back to the corner I would go...I said that's it for 3 weeks! Michael and I are early risers...3-4 am.  I was waking up at 1 and 2 am.  Walking down to the patio where no one could see me and smoke with my coffee.  The old behavior was back with a vengence!

This morning I went to the patio and had one cigarette.  I said That's It!!  No More!  I destroyed the rest of my pack....threw my lighter away and headed home. I feel like such a loser! All I can do now is take one minute at a time!!! And I know where one puff will lead me! I don't want to go there again!!!   

Deborah

40 Comments
About the Author
I'm a retired Business Manager and Make-Up Artist for Estee Lauder Cosmetics. I love living near the beach in beautiful, sunny San Diego, California. I've smoked for 45 years...I remember the first time like it was yesterday. I was in 8th grade...13 years old...a circle of about 6 girls. One of the girls had a cigarette from her brother. We passed it around and I remember coughing but tried it again the 2nd time around. I smoked to be cool when I was in high school. Smoked at parties and the weekends. After I graduated and lived on my own, I smoked a pack a day....everyday until yesterday...6/8/18. I'm here because I want to quit more than anything. I'm 60 years old and pushing my luck! I want to live healthy for 20 more years. I love life!!!