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2018

Today in MY world.........there is a lot of FAMILY members with different types of cancers....physical health ailments....crippling arthritis.....and as I was sitting at home.......I read a story of a person who LEARNED she had to take ACTION and CREATE MY OWN HAPPINESS.......I got up and came to the library to use their computer for FREE.....and I made a decision to pray and I ask My Holy Comforter to put a song in MY HEART TO SING.....I sing because I'm happy....I sing because I am free...his eye is on the sparrow and he watches over ME.....then I found some movies to rent for FREE..... I have been wanting to watch the Bourne trilogy.....I asked the librarian for helped to locate and WE found two of the three......then I prayed for people throughout MY whole day....since I got up at 5:30am and then God willing  called MY mom and I scheduled a thanksgiving visit with her......I spoke directly to her to make sure she would be home and that she wrote the date down on paper TODAY and that no one was scheduled at this time to visit her.....I tried for September and she was booked up with other family members.....NOW I know I must be responsible and TRY to remain spiritual fit and grown up....I had HURT FEELINGS at the time I called for the time in July and I was able to pray and NOT LET MY FEELINGS RUN ME.......for ME.......please I am talking about ME and no one else..... so please take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim......thank you....I pray a lot its MY LIFESTYLE.....has been for 31 YEARS......so I ask God to help ME learn to keep MY eyes on MY Lord Jesus and to obey the Holy Spirit.....I learned along time ago to throw MYSELF into HELPING others when I am EMOTIONALLY HURTING AND MENTALLY DERANGED WITH ALL OF LIFE ON LIFES TERMS COMING AT ME ALL AT ONCE..... overwhelmed with all ME AND BEING SPIRITUALLY UNFIT with MY husband's mom...she has breast cancer and her birthday is the 13th of September God willing she will be 95 years YOUNG and has decided NOT to do anymore radiation for the breast cancer her choice her decision and her life.......AMEN......end of subject.... NEXT.....his sister age 61 years YOUNG is being sent home to spend her last days in hospice....she has brain cancer.....MY mom with debilitating arthritis that leaves her unable to MOVE AT ALL on some days....other days she is ok....and physically all her health is good at age 86 years YOUNG...no worries......MY sister has been her caregiver forever.....she NEVER left MY mom's house......she recently built her own home and built a room for mom at one end and close to the door in case of emergencies......so MY mom is very blessed by MY Daddy God in MY Lord Jesus name amen and amen...end of subject.......ALL DAY......MY TODAY..... MY EMOTIONS HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TAKE ME TO THE PITY PARTY AND I REJECT THAT AND SAID GOODBYE PITY and hello to CREATE MY OWN HAPPINESS.......then I text MY husband to let him know the dates to visit MY mom in November and he said ok.....he is doing a lot better than yesterday with his families health issues....only SUGGESTION I made to him....... was to let himself cry.....just let it all out..... it is OK......he thanked ME and agreed....so he has picked up on exercising and taking care of himself when he goes on his walks at work during breaks and his lunch time......he walks outside and prays and let his tears be his prayers for his mom and his sister........ I take care of MY OWN health with exercise and eating too..NO ONE CAN DO IT FOR ME...ACTION ON MY PART...AMEN.....WE are staying with fish and veggies and strawberries and blueberries and water daily with some beetroot juice with fresh lemon and 1/4 teaspoon fresh garlic when WE first wake up....for US.....we pray together asking God to teach US to take care of ourselves and each other.....staying in pray for each other throughout this DAY.....truly living ONE DAY AT A TIME AND ACCEPTING LIFE ON LIFES TERMS.....is tough enough with life on life's terms......when I get all SQUIRRELY...AND YES I KNOW..... I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN EMOTIONS AND MENTAL HEALTH SINCE GOD GAVE ME A BRAIN....I AM RESPONSIBLE TO USE IT.....AMEN.....I MUST ALSO PUT MY BODY INTO ACTION TO CREATE MY OWN HAPPINESS...I USE TO USE NICOTINE AND SMOKE 50 DEATH STICKS A DAY TO COPE  WITH LIFE AND ME...GOODBYE TO ALL THE OLD USING CRAP.....USING OLD LIFE.... AND HELLO TO HAPPINESS.......so I went to a support group this morning.... 20 other woman showed up and some were JUST LIKE ME..... INSIDE THEMSELVES TODAY TOO.....GODS AMAZING GRACE SO POWERFUL...HIS LOVE SO TENDER BLESSING ME WITH RECOVERING FAMILY....it was like a breath of FRESH AIR INSIDE OF ME then I went home ate lunch....prayed and came here and I am CHOOSING to do things that make ME happy.....now when this is done.....TRYING to be of service in GODS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE to anyone who is HURTING....SAD....BLAH....FEELING JUST LIKE ME TODAY INSIDE OF YOURSELF...... on this support NEW RECOVERING FAMILLY TOO......you can CHOOSE..... .CREATE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS......AND CHOOSE TO SAY GOODBYE TO USING NICOTINE and CHOOSE JUST LIKE ME TO CREATE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS.....This is what I put into ACTION for ME.......it works.....NEW  WAYS ....NEW IDEAS ......NEW LIFE TODAY.....and I sing because Jesus is MY portion....and I sing.......Jesus is MY best friend and with ME always NEVER will he leave ME.......and I sing..... ALL IS WELL with MY mind.....will......and emotions.....because of MY Lord Jesus I can sing because ALL IS WELL WITH MY SOUL.....thanks for letting ME share how I CREATED MY OWN HAPPINESS.....and remained a HAPPY NON SMOKER and grateful for the support I have been given by MY God and by his AMAZING....WONDERFUL....LOVING grace and more  grace....his love....his joy....his peace...MORE AND MORE.....I sing because I'm happy...and I took MY sister her birthday gift to her job and it lifted her spirit because she is also dealing with her job closing after 20 YEARS of her service there and her friend is in hospice with cancer too.....she was SAD and emotional too......just like I was INSIDE of ME.....yet by GODS AMAZING GRACE....I was able to SMILE to the best of MY face and wish her a happy birthday EARLY....her 63rd years YOUNG.....Praising God for his truly AMAZING GRACE UPON GRACE.....two hurting souls...... TODAY......singing because we are HAPPY IN THIS DAY!  in MY Lord Jesus name...amen 

This non smoker living has brought my husband and I to evaluate what WE put in our mouths every drink and bite. We have learned to think BEFORE drinking or eating anything this DAY......it is amazing WE cannot EAT OR DRINK like when WE WERE YOUNG.....we laugh at how we get sick when we eat or drink in WHITE SUGAR OF FRIED FOODS.....it is so HUMBLING to admit....WE ARE NOW VEGGIES AND FISH EATERS AND DRINK ONLY WATER....sometimes we have a fresh lemon squeezed in the water for EXCITMENT......just very grateful to be learning better ways to eat and drink each day God blesses US with His breath in US in Our Lord Jesus....we just brought a super juice called beetroot....2 tablespoons a day.....in the early morning....helps with blood circulation and internal organs for health INSIDE out....amazing....just sharing the love the website is ALLSTARHEALTH.COM....tons of healthy inside fruits....veggies...vitamins...and minerals.....thanks for letting ME share healthy love ideas....love love love to all living a non smoker life....ONE DAY AT A TIME TOGETHER IN UNITY WITH ONE MAIN OBJECTIVE.....NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER....NOT ONE PUFF OVER ME.....amen and amen

indingrl.01.06.2011

WORDS

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Aug 23, 2018

Words are so POWERFUL......everyday I try to REMEMBER to ask for MY Holy Counselor to use ME for MY Lord Jesus purposes to be HELPFUL to all I meet TODAY.....Words of KNOWLEDGE.....when it comes to NICOTINE using...this is MY story......I was determined with MY OWN IRON WILL to quit using....... MY DEATH STICKS....the night before  I was really going to QUIT FOREVER........so I threw MY DEATH STICKS in the garbage and dumped wet coffee grounds and garbage ALL OVER THEM.......then I went to bed with the same DETERMINED MIND-SET...I WILL QUIT SMOKING....I WILL DO IT......I WILL!

 The next day I went straight for the garbage and took out the DEATH STICKS and laid them out to DRY.....I SMOKE ALL OF THEM AND WENT TO BUY MORE.....this is MY KNOWLEDGE OF SELF WILL RUN RIOT.....I have TONS of self will USING AND QUIT AND USING AND QUIT TO INFINITY.......I will quit......I will stop.....I will do it.........NONE OF MY SELF WILL WORKED.....it was said to ME..... this way to LEARN ONCE AND FOR ALL FOR ME......I am not talking about anyone else....so please take what HELPS and let go of the rest.....thank you...it was said to ME.....here is a LESSON IN SELF-WILL....go and eat a whole box of ex-lax and TRY not to POOP.... this made ME laugh so hard....a belly laugh does wonders in times of wanting to die.....WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT MY DEATH STICKS TO COMFORT ME AND LOVE ME THROUGH THIS LIFE ON EARTH WITH THOSE PEOPLE....ALL THOSE WORRIES....TROUBLES...PROBLEMS...BILLS TO PAY BUT I NEED MY DRUG NICOTINE BEFORE STUPID FOOD.....AH MY OLD LIFE OF USING NICOTINE AT ALL COSTS AND ALL LENGTHS I CHOSE TO DO.....Words of WISDOM......I tried to quit.....stop....not use NICOTINE .....I USED FOR 38 YEARS....then I TRIED AGAIN AND AGAIN MY SELF WILL.....I WILL QUIT USING....so I used the nicotine patches...nicotine gum... went to FREE weekend panels listening to RECOVERING NICOTNE ADDICTS SHARE HOW THEY DID IT AND LIVE AS NON SMOKERS TODAY.......I always USED AGAIN AND AGAIN........I am a born again believer since November 6, 1986..........I wasn't willing to surrender MY DRUG NICOTINE until the night of January 5, 2011.....FREE WILL CHOICES.....GOD DOES NOT MAKE ME DO ANYTHING.....I HAVE FREE WILL TO CHOOSE.....GOD IS NOT INTO ROBOTS....JUST FYI.. ANOTHER ATTEMPT I WILL QUIT....I WILL DO THIS I DONT NEED ANYONE I CAN DO THIS MYSELF!......MY self-will had gotten ME to cut down from 50 DEATH STICKS A DAY TO 2-3 DEATH STICKS A DAY......then I would just go buy ANOTHER PACK... ENDLESS CYCLE OF SELF WILL RUN RIOT...I WAS SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED.......so on January 5, 2011.....I got on MY knees and prayed this prayer....Dear Jesus if you don't take these cigs from ME I will smoke them till I drop dead in Jesus name amen and went to bed.......I got up the next morning and was given a COLD TURKEY QUIT.........Words of ENCOURAGEMENT......it was said IF YOU CAN STAY QUIT...there was MY HOPE IN YOU...... I CAN STAY QUIT.....FOR ME.....I must come here every NOW and AGAIN has changed to I WANT TO COME HERE EVERYDAY AND HELP AND LOVE ALL OTHERS TO GIVE THE SAME HOPE AND BELIEF THAT WAS GIVEN TO ME THROUGH ALL OTHERS BEFORE ME WHO ARE STILL STAYING QUIT NO MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS AT THEM......to be of help to the next SUFFERING NICOTINE ADDICT TO BELIEVE AND HOPE...so these are the WORDS.... I share..... what I use to DO TO GET MY DRUG NICOTINE AND JUST ONE OF THE LENGTHS I WENT TO USE MY DRUG NICOTINE........TODAY I come here and share MY recovering days with life on life's terms with all who WANT TO NOT USE NICOTINE ONE DAY AT A TIME......Words today for ME are the life breath of MY Holy Comforter teaching ME to use MY words of LOVE.....telling the TRUTH just about ME and leaving the OUTCOME IN HIS MIGHTY POWERFUL LOVING HANDS......please if you have never accepted the FREE GIFT OF SALVATION....read in the Bible for YOURSELF..... the Words of ETERNAL LIFE read in First Corinthians chapter 15 verses 1-4.....just believe what you read in your heart and you are saved in MY Lord Jesus name amen and amen.....thanks for letting ME share MY experience strength and hope with all WHO WANT TO LIVE AS A NON SMOKER WITH ALL OF US OF YOUR OWN FREE WILL......WORDS to help......love.....and give by MY FAITH......to BELIEVE......YOU WANT NON SMOKER LIVING TOO...........love love love to all.

indingrl.01.06.2011

FEELING

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Aug 21, 2018

Today I am dealing with the MY real feeling of feeling...... MY feelings......Judy is going to be sent home next week....they didn't give the exact day due to INSURANCE PAPERWORK still being filled out so EVERYONE is covered.....isn't it amazing..... ALL THAT PAPERWORK.....Judy invited ME to go with her to the meeting that was called....HOSPICE CARE.....at home....the occupational and physical therapies OFFERED through Judy's insurance....I just held her hand...I listened as they talked with her daughter.....the legal VOICE....of Judy's well being and last days were being discussed....they.... INSURANCE people....did glance at Judy every now and again..... as they continued to talk INSURANCE TALK with her daughter.......all the bases covered.....they have done ALL they can to manage Judy's well-being and taught Judy pain management and now we will get the PAPERWORK ready for you to transition home to HOSPICE CARE.....then Judy and the daughter and ME left the office....going back to Judy's room.....Judy has brain cancer.....I love and like Judy when I met her over 23 YEARS ago....Judy says she loves ME and I am her favorite sister-in-law.....her ONLY sister-in-law..... since she has ONLY ONE BROTHER.....Judy has a good sense of humor..it brought back memories from a book I read over 31 YEARS AGO.......by Bill Wilson...... called Alcoholics Anonymous......there is a little bit of bad and a little bit of good in EACH and EVERYONE of us.....NOW I remember....Judy told ME she is a size 3 now...I stay and visit until.... MY heart will NOT take another ache......it is a lot tougher for ME.....those of US..... that have to go on living.....THAT IS WHAT I BELIEVE......selfish on MY PART I KNOW.....this is MY story....I am NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYONE ELSE....so please take what helps and let go of the rest to be helpful is MY ONLY AIM....thank you....I read MY BIBLE before and after and in between..... I stay in constant contact with MY Holy Spirit to guide ME and to TEACH ME......to be a COMFORT to Judy and NOT A BURDEN....I feel MY FEELINGS AND DO NOT LET THEM RUN ME....I visit Judy..... even though it is very hard to STAY IN THE MOMENT....cancer is hard to look at when the physical is being destroyed NOW CUZ CANCER ATE AT HER INSIDE AND NOW I REMEMBER....she witnessed at her church......Judy was healed of lung cancer a while back and CHOICE TO SMOKE AGAIN.....cancer came back with a VENGENCE.....CONSEQUENCES OF JUDY'S FREE WILL CHOICES.. I know yet MY HEART doesn't want to ACCEPT REALITY.......MY feelings.....FEEL....they go twisted in ME....FEEL THE FEELINGS.....MY thoughts........ when she CHOICE OF HER OWN FREE WILL TO USE NICOTINE AGAIN....I was mad and upset and judge and criticized her and spoke to MY HUSBAND...I vented and expressed to MY HUSBAND ALL THE FEEELINGS I WAS FEELING until I was wore out and cried OUT TO MY LORD JESUS....then I went before MY Lord Jesus BY FAITH IN PRAYER....I asked forgiveness for judging and criticizing Judy....I received His forgiveness with NO GUILT OR CONDEMNATION....in MY Lord Jesus name and his HEALING BLOOD....I REMEMBERED A PREACHER TEACHING ME.......THERE IS POWER IN JESUS NAME FOR GOD IS IN HIS NAME....how I have cried.....begged....claimed for Judy to be HEALED...yet I don't know WHAT JUDY WANTS HER HEARTS DESIRE AT THIS TIME WITH HER BRAIN CANCER.....its so sad....and I KNOW.....I am NOT GOD.....I know MY Lord Jesus can heal..... if..... HE CHOOSES AND EVEN IF HE DOESNT.......FOR ME.....MY Lord Jesus is MY ONLY HOPE......and I will stand in God's Holy Word and believe.....I will see Judy again......for NOW... TODAY.....Judy is still alive and dealing with her brain cancer.... the best she can.....moments of reality.....then speaking gibberish....and it is noted.... that brain cancer causes violent OUTBURSTS.......I go into denial because FEELING MY FEELINGS HURTS WAY TOO MUCH.... FOR ME.......I ask MY Holy Spirit to  teach ME to stay in prayer.... all the DAY long and in thankfulness to God in REMEMBERING HIS BOWELS OF MERCIES....BOWELS OF KINDNESS....BOWELS OF FORGIVENESS....AND MOST OF ALL GODS BOWELS OF LOVE ......FOR HIS BELOVED DAUGHTER JUDY.....not once did I think of using..... NICOTINE TO ESCAPE MY REAL FEELINGS OF POWERLESSNESS.....NOR MY FEELINGS OF HELPLESSNESS.......Judy  still CHOOSES TO USE NICOTINE...I noticed Judy very dried skin and that she had the same clothes on from yesterday......I ask Judy if I could help her bath and lotion and change her outfit into the new outfit her brother and I brought for her and she said YES....what an honor to be of service to a beautiful courageous beloved sister......thank you ELDERS for teaching ME.....I will be able to live a NON-SMOKER LIFE and deal with MY REAL FEELINGS TO FEEL AND BE RESPONISBLE GROWN UP.....MY FAITH IN GOD AND HIS HOLY WORD......TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD TO MY ETERNAL INHERITANCE......MY LORD JESUS......so just for TODAY.....NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER AND LIVE IN REALTIY.......TO FEELING MY FEELINGS and share the HOPE.....with ALL who are suffering from NICOTINE ADDICTION......BELIEVE ME.....IF I CAN FEEL AND LIVE WITHOUT USING NICOTINE.....SO CAN YOU...IF.... YOU CHOOS....E TO LIVE AS A NON SMOKER..... NO MATTER WHAT LIFE ON LIFES TERMS BRINGS.....SO FEEL AND BE RESPONSIBLE TO THINK MORE OF ANOTHER THAN MYSELF.....love love love to you all in My Lord Jesus name...amen and amen.

In the beginning of your quit, and, for quite awhile,

It feels unnatural to not smoke.

We can get fidgety after we quit.

Which can lead to discombobulation.

 

I cut a straw into thirds and I would chew on them.

It released the unease and tension created by not smoking.

Some use flavored toothpicks.

A rubber band on the wrist.

Find your distraction.

It's easier to let go of later than letting go of smoking seems now.

      I was a smoker for 40 years. I thought I was a smart smoker.

I bought 100's and only smoked them halfway down thinking the further away from the cherry, the safer the smoke and my lungs. I was aware I was smoking 5 good puffs for the feeling. I like many, didn't think about smoking any more than that, if they even thought about it that much.

 

      I never considered it controlled me although I did go outside during intermissions to smoke. 

 

      What I've learned is, it does control you and, I believe other than PREVENTING OBVIOUSLY KNOWN HEALTH RISKS, that removing it's control is the greatest success for your self esteem.

 

Let's talk about smoking's control.

Cigarettes were on our mind 20 times a day more or less.

>When we thought of smoking, most of us had to stop what we we're doing to go smoke.

>If we couldn't stop the task or end the conversation, we thought about smoking until we could smoke. That wait is what made smoking "the reward."

That is control perceived or not.

 

Other ways smoking controlled us

>The special trips to the store just for smokes.

>Wondering if you had enough left to get you through the night and the next         morning until you could get to the store.

>The yearly costs which could have gone to other things like a real vacation.

 

THE FREEDOM FROM IT'S CONTROL

IS WHY YOU SHOULD WANT YOUR SUCCESS.

Freedom is your hope and hope is your freedom.

That is what we strive to inspire in you.

 

Regarding my methods: Some think I can be harsh. That is not my intent.

      I would never hurt anyone's feelings over what they had done or not done regarding their quit but, I'm not a fawner. (I do love those here who can be both the fawner and the helper. Hopefully, I've helped teach them something.)

I will ask questions if I think I can help someone who smoked understand how their thinking made them smoke and how to prevent them from "getting to the point of crossing the line" in the future.

 

Not Critical, Analytical 

I finally blew it.  On Wednesday night around 8pm, I bought a pack of cigarettes:(  Like a criminal I waited for everyone to go to bed and then snuck outside, wrestling with my conscience the whole way.  I opened the pack, and smoked one of the cigarettes.  It was a strange combination of wonderful and gross.  (That's probably why I only smoked one)

I feel like a hypocrite. The second cigarette I smoked was the next morning when I was out on an errand, feeling sick and dishonest the whole time.  Then again last night I smoked one and this time I paid attention to my mind and my body trying hard figure out what I was doing and why.  One thing I noticed was when I exhaled the smoke kept coming out of my lungs, so exhaled harder and it kept coming......GROSS!!!!  I then remembered what my carbon monoxide levels were before I quit in the first place.  I can't claim a slip because I did it on purpose.  I felt sad and disappointed in myself and still do.  But I brought the pack to my husband  (all of them)  and told him what I had done.  He refused to distroy them,  He said this is entirely my decision.   So

I broke them up into a Walmart bag and went out to my studio to write this confession.  It was very hard to bust those cigarettes and I have yet to add water to the left overs!  I need to reset my quit date,  I haven't smoked any today yet, but I noticed that there were still a couple of good ones left in bag. . I am hearing on the ledge. 

..  I am sorry to let you all down.

Cricket 

Bag of Destroyed Sickorettes

I'm one of those those people that like a Happy Medium when it comes to the weather   I like the low to the mid 70s but that rarely happens but it's my preference, it sure feels like Fall this morning and ugh two weeks from today is the last day of August wow but they'll still be some good weather coming BUT no matter what the weather or anything else that's happening in life I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that smoking isn't even a blimp on my Radar because I don't do that anymore, my oldest grandson Adam who's 14 called around supper time last night and wanted to come spend the night so he's still sleeping this morning I'll fix him at least a half lb of bacon 3 eggs and a bunch of toast and apple juice for breakfast we haven't seen much of him this Summer so it's great he wanted to spend time with with us old fogies .....

Dhow

Quit day tomorrow!!

Posted by Dhow Aug 16, 2018

Today is my first time on here. My quit day is tomorrow. I have my patches and will remove all things related. I attempted last week and had 3 days under my belt but became weak and bought a pack... I have to do it! I need to do it! I work in health care and hide the fact that I smoke... I think they know but they don't ask and I don't tell! Fabreeze is what I use to mask the smell. Plus I remove my work top and put on a jacket, pull my hair up... all just to chain smoke at lunch. I'm embarrassed and ashamed to admit this but this soon will end because I'm going to beat this!!!!

BryceEvans

Day 10!

Posted by BryceEvans Aug 16, 2018

It’s been 10 days since my last cigarette and I’m loving the life of a non-smoker. I’m starting to get more energy, and I can go out and do things with my family without stopping to smoke before/after. 

 

Here are a few coping methods I’ve found effective:

 

1. Deep breathing

when I start craving, I take some deep breaths and try to imagine how much the health of my lungs has improved.

 

2. Go do something

This isn’t very effective at night, but after work if I start craving it’s usually because I’m not busy enough. I found it helpful to get up and do something. Sometimes I’ll load up the kayak and take it out for an hour or two before sun down, other times it’s just weeding the garden or organize the garage for a little.

 

3. Food 

i know this isn’t the ideal method, but there is a time and place for this one. I use it very seldom. Just snack! I snack on more healthy choices like peanuts or fruit and it is a good method to fix that late night nicotine craving. 

Life happens whether we smoke or not and choosing NOT to is the gift of LIFE which I consider the one gift that'll keep on giving day after day week after week month after month and Lord willing year after year BUT like most things worth having it's going to take time to relearn life without the smokes BUT once you stop and think about how many decades you smoked then it only stands to reason that you have to go through all of the rough patches to get to that point where you realize how much better life is as an Ex Smoker because life really does get easier and easier with time under your belts,  it's such a great feeling to be able to go anywhere anytime whenever wherever and however without worrying about where to sneak off to suck on a cancer stick.....

I got so frustrated again today in traffic (it's 1.4 miles and it took me over 90 minutes to get home cause there is a FAIR in town) so I cried again after Yoga...where I live is weird and literally on the wrong side of the train tracks so sometimes it takes 5 or 10 time longer to get where you're going and it drives me insane!

 

So today I felt good, did yoga then got in the car and couldn't get home, so pulled over and cried and had that feeling of being trapped, having no options, making all the wrong choices in life...OMG. It's too hard to move! I can't afford it! I have no where to go!...jI hate my life! Just a flood of negativity and fear... I didn't want to smoke, but I did recognize a long time ago that cigs are an emotional connection, a comfort for me, not really a craving for nicotine...which would probably be easier. 

 

BUT tonight when this thought PATTERN arose (and I realized it is a pattern and I am going to figure out how to change it)  I didn't smoke to make myself feel better. I looked for another option, which was keep feeling miserable or thinking through the feelings. So I stopped, calmed myself down and said "What's the big deal, it's just a week and the fair will be gone, there's traffic everywhere, it's okay, you can go to an earlier class and avoid the traffic, etc etc." 

 

This was a big deal talking myself off the ledge because again, I don't really have anyone to talk to in my current life situation. But I wanted to write about it because this would've been the time to panic and complain and smoke...and I didnt. Made it through Day #3...all your kind responses really make a difference. I hope I can do that for someone else someday!

Well it's my day 3. Late afternoon and evenings are tough for me. I work alone from home most days and the reward cycle begins like many when this time comes. But, I am going to yoga again and it is so sweaty and exhausting that smoking a cigarette would feel gross, so I use it to stop the desire and it works.  Just to get some time under my belt before I go out into the world and face triggers...like all the traffic where I live, hating where I live, feel trapped, angry etc...anyway, I am blogging since you told me too and now I feel I have someone out there...many...who care and there is some accountability. I used to say to myself  "how can I depend on myself when I am so undependable to myself?" Asking the addict to guide you out of addiction doesn't work.  Getting all your kind responses to my first post really gave me a boost to keep going just for today.....  thanks.

you would not be focused on smoking or not smoking.

 

Blame your uneasiness and temporary discomfort on smoking, not quitting.

 Over time, you can psychologically disconnect from it,

and, be over it, FOREVER.

 

 

The Only Way Out Is Through!

I recently came across this old Native story and thought how well this applies to so many areas of life. I felt you may all enjoy this.

________________________________________________________________________

 

 

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

”It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil–he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you–and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:

“Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied,

“The one you feed.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

Have an Excellent day.

Recognize the wolves inside of you and fed the right one.

Be good to yourself and others.

And as always....

N.O.P.E.

indingrl.01.06.2011

YOU GET TO DECIDE

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Aug 13, 2018

Today there is much MORE to choose from......MORE flavors to enhance NICOTINE....yet the bottom line....it is YOUR personal CHOICE and YOUR personal DECISION....to CHOOSE which way YOU personally WANT TO QUIT....the

TRUTH is there is NO safe cigarette.

Eyes65

Cravings!!!!

Posted by Eyes65 Aug 11, 2018

This has been my worst eeek!!!!  The craving are killing me.  They seem to be coming every hour!!! Please Please pray for me... I have NO intention of ever smoking again.  No I will never smoke again !! I have to sleep for them to subside but that is not an option!!!  Thanks in advance.

mama3953

Vacation

Posted by mama3953 Aug 11, 2018

Well on my first smokefree vacation...wow there are so many people who smoke...why is it when you stop smoking you see so many people who do smoke? Anyway doing pretty well....doing deep breathing when I need to but staying the course.  It is so enjoyable not having to think when  and look around as to where I can have a cigarette...... I don’t do that anymore!  Still doing a lot of praying......I will be in touch.  Have a wonderful day everyone!

Whether you're on day one or day one thousand and one or wherever, it really doesn't matter where you are it only matters that you're taking your life back from the clutches of the nicotine poison and that you realize that there's definetly Life after Cigarettes if you're on the fence about quitting smoking then it's time to bite the bullet and quit smoking for your health family and friends but especially your life which is depending on you to look after yourself because if you don't nobody else can do it for you and as difficult as quitting can be it's absolutely Doable and totally worth it to be Free....

It's been a long weekend here yesterday was a Civic holiday it was New Brunswick day Mark headed back to work today poor guy it's been crazy hot and humid again just plain sticky which most of you are Experiencing as well BUT just like quitting smoking Mark and I finally wised up on Saturday and bought a damned air conditioner  and it feels heavenly and I can't for the life of me figure out what took us so long because just like quitting smoking once the house cooled down which took awhile BUT WOW I can breathe so much better we bought a 8000 btu one which is able keep the living room, dining room and kitchen cool we blocked the back end of the house off where the bedrooms are but with Window and ceiling fans it's pretty good for sleeping on Sunday we cooked beets from the garden  a good chunk of the day and pressure cooked a batch of yellow and green beans and YAY the house stayed nice and comfortable   hummmmm just like quitting smoking why did we wait so damned long being so uncomfortable with so many people telling us that we'd love it BUT I guess we had to figure it out for ourselves and wowser I'm so glad that we finally did, we hit 100 °F  with the humidity yesterday we may get a little higher than that today which is abnormal for this region BUT YAY and YAY again for Smokefree living and yay for each and every Day WON AND YAY for wising up and buying an air conditioner.

indingrl.01.06.2011

SHARING

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Aug 4, 2018

Today I haven't used nicotine.....Today I have prayed and rejoiced with others who have not used their drug of choice NICOTINE.....Today I have shared with all others who are suffering from the NEED to be accepted....love....noticed....to be a friend that SHARES....life on life's terms...Today I have asked God to HELP ME DO ALL THE ABOVE ACTION IN ME....by faith in MY Lord Jesus and his name and MY Holy Comforter's in ME who gives HIS fruit in ME.... love... joy... peace...faithfulness...goodness.. kindness...self control...gentleness and long suffering also know as patience MORE AND MORE to keep growing and sharing with anyone who WANTS NICOTINE FREEDOM....by praying to be a generous giver to anyone... who likes reading what I use to be like and what I am like today and ever changing more day by day........I had MY first death stick at age four....I was sent to pick up cig butts off the street for MY grandma who said....take this empty coffee can and go pick up every cigarette butt on the street that you can find and bring it back to me when it is full.....so I did and BEFORE bringing it to her..... I went and smoked some cig butts for MYSELF....it wasn't hard since most of blood family members taught ME by their ACTIONS of using nicotine daily...since I was such an obedient child of 4 years old.....Today I pray to be MORE obedient to God at age 61 and blog BEFORE I take one puff over ME....Today I share that I went to any length to use NICOTINE and Today I am a RECOVERING NICOTINE ADDICT....that admits I NEED ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT...so I choose to go to any length to STAY NON SMOKER living this day only...You ALL here staying quit no matter what....BY YOUR ACTIONS... BLOGGING TO HELP ALL WHO SUFFER FROM NICOTINE....one day at a time... ALL OF YOU HERE DAY BY DAY ARE MY examples to follow your ACTIONS BLOG...DISCUSSIONS...QUESTIONS AND SHARING YOUR EXPERIENCE AS A NON SMOKER LIVING ONE DAY AT A TIME...Today I choose to share MY OLD NICOTINE STORIES.. to help ME to remember NICOTINE is subtle and so sneaky it will whisper....remember when you used....it will TRY to convince ME to hang with ACTIVE USERS and tell ME.....YOU CAN SHARE WITH THEM HOW YOU QUIT.....before I am BITTEN BY THIS LIE........ I pray and RUN TO GOD FIRST AND ASK FOR HIS HELP....to be thankful for his grace and to ...remember I CANNOT CHANGE ANY HUMAN BEINGS MIND....GOD ALONE CAN...Today I share... how I live this day ONLY....by sharing MY experience and hope with ALL. Please take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim.....YOUR SHARING TAUGHT ME TO DO THE SAME.....NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER.....NOT ONE PUFF OVER ME. Thank you ALL so much for SHARING YOUR ACTION.......LOVE.....LOVE.....LOVE!

Please I am talking about ME and no one else and to be HELPFUL is MY only aim....thank you.

 

When I first HAD to quit using MY drug of choice nicotine......I was not happy....in MY house it was MONEY....pay the rent or buy MY CARTON OF DEATH STICKS.....we had down sized and with the kids all grown it was just MY husband and ME.....no need for two cars...two bedrooms...two jobs.....so WE made a decision together to let go of a lot of extra spending just to spend......so we were living the life.....I was the best homemaker and he was the money provider for all of our daily NEEDS.....then one payday he was going over the finances and stated that WE could not afford to pay rent and get MY DRUG NICOTINE.....2010 for ME it was 75.00 a for a carton of DEATH STICKS.....He said I could get a job IF I still wanted to continue to smoke. I loved MY new life as a homemaker....cleaning .....cooking....and doing whatever I wanted throughout the day.....NOT WITHOUT USING MY DRUG NICOTINE....MY BEST FRIEND TO HELP ME COPE WITH OTHER HUMANS AND LIFE......yikes....no way and yet in MY HEART I KNEW THIS WAS THE TIME......so I attempted to stop using 50 DEATH STICKS A DAY AND TO CONTINUE TO EXERCISING EVERYDAY.....I got down to 2-3 DEATH STICKS A DAY!

I couldn't get those 2-3 DEATH STICKS conquered....so I would get ONE MORE PACK.....this went on for days and then I just fell to MY knees on MY kitchen floor and pray out loud in complete defeat I was powerless over MY DRUG OF CHOICE NICOTINE....I said Dear Jesus if you don't take these cigs from ME I will smoke them until I drop dead in Jesus name amen.....I woke up the next day on Jan 6, 2011 with a COLD TURKEY QUIT....only by Gods grace I have VICTORY IN CHRIST JESUS...day by day I have been coming to this site since...... Oct 2010.....YES...I was still using MY DRUG NICOTINE 2-3 DEATH STICKS A DAY AND READING THE BLOGS.

This was MY beginning on this site and only by Gods grace I have been coming back to HELP ALL those who think they CANNOT QUIT NICOTINE......I BELIEVE..... by sharing what happen to ME and for ME.....I pray everyday to be of service to ALL who suffer from NICOTINE ADDICTION.

Thanks for letting ME share and please read the BLOGS WRITTEN BY ALL THOSE BEFORE AND AFTER ME.... there is HOPE....I thought to MYSELF...... if others can quit using NICOTINE so can I....I needed support and still do daily to STAY IN MY VICTORY with ALL those here....... WHO WANT TO STAY QUIT NO MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS AT US.....WE CAN BE VICTORY WITH EACH OTHER IN LOVE LOVE LOVE......by giving it all away for the JOY OF VICTORY DAY BY DAY STAYING TOGETHER IN UNITY OF NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF....NOT ONE PUFF EVER......VICTORY TOGETHER AS ONE!

Tammi777

Relieved

Posted by Tammi777 Aug 3, 2018

It's great to have found a community like this to help me on my journey. Nicotine replacement products are hard to find where I live, yet cigarettes are everywhere. My smoking has been a shameful secret for a very long time and most of the people currently around me have no idea I do it. I am relieved to find other person's going through similar struggles because no one in my life has them. It feels like such an isolating experience at times. I'm looking forward to getting through it.

indingrl.01.06.2011

SMELLS

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Aug 2, 2018

I was SUDDENLY hit with strong SMELL OF NICOTINE-it was out of no where-so weird-I told MY husband I smell smoke-he said no you dont smoke-this has happened off and on throughout MY 7 years of MY NON SMOKER LIVING. Just sharing MY adventures. Thank you for letting ME share.

indingrl.01.06.2011

this site TODAY

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Aug 2, 2018

I don't know what is happening on this site TODAY....I have had to log off....log on....giving some love badges away I have been logged OUT......in the middle and then black screen loaded to a navigate area for those who run computers and put in the data to run this mother ship.....I surrender....I am going home a NON SMOKER FULL OF LOVE FOR HAVING THIS DAY TO SHARE WHAT I COULD WITH ALL HERE.....WE WILL STAY NON SMOKERS AND LIVING TO HELP ONE ANOTHER AND ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER TO REMEMBER......LOVE LOVE LOVE....ALL WHO SUFFER......thanks and God willing blog you all later in MY Lord Jesus name amen and amen Please take what helps and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL IS MY ONLY AIM...gentle hugs for whosoever wants one...thank you.

indingrl.01.06.2011

PHYSICAL CHANGE

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Aug 2, 2018

I was already working out daily BEFORE I quit using nicotine and then when I was blessed by MY Lord Jesus with a cold turkey quit on Jan 6, 2011 I continued to workout by walking.....just walking with Leslie Sansone...dvd walk at home...not even knowledgeable about nicotine hurting MY heart....I was very ignorant of the research that already existed about the drug nicotine.....God has blessed ME yet I must continue to educate MYSELF....aint no one gonna do it for ME....so Today I learned by Gods grace I am still working the biggest muscle in ME for the better....MY Heart...both physically and spiritually.....MY Daddy God is so loving and filled with tender mercies for ME....I am so grateful to be able to walk still by putting MY PHYSICAL BODY INTO ACTION.....prayed and got MY butt off the couch in My Lord Jesus name amen and amen....PLEASE take what helps and let go to the rest.....to be HELPFUL and sharing is caring....thank you.....yes I finally made it to the library.....now where did I leave those rewards I was gonna pass on....hmmmmm.....found them....badges given in love love love.....gentle hug to all....freely....smile God don't make junk and he LOVES you!

indingrl.01.06.2011

NO THANKS

Posted by indingrl.01.06.2011 Aug 2, 2018

Gosh isn't it wonderful when offered a smoke to say no thanks. Just keeping it simple and sharing the love of recovering this day ONLY in love love love of all those who suffer from nicotine addiction. Gosh isn't it wonderful to offer the help of sharing this site with those still using their drug of choice nicotine. Just keeping it simple and sharing how I was introduced to this website by their t.v. commercial. Gosh it is wonderful to pass recovery on in MY Lord Jesus name amen and amen. Please take what helps and let go of the rest....hope everyone has a good day by your OWN choosing.

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