15 Days...Need Advice

Blog Post created by princessdeborahd on Jun 23, 2018

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Today is day 15 for me. I'm doing much better than I thought I would. I never smoked in the house...always outside on our porch swing. I've managed to get through the triggers that going outside caused, I've managed to get through the driving triggers and a few other situations that were triggers. This is where I need some advice... there is a clubhouse here with a huge patio overlooking the pool and jacuzzi. The patio is the hub of activity... there is always something going on down there...Small cafe...a bar, karaoke, bingo, theme dances, live music, water aerobics, even Leslie Sansone walking dvd fitness daily on the dance floor. I haven't been down there for 15 days because going there is a huge trigger. You see, every time I went to the patio I smoked...6 years of doing that here. One half of the patio is smoking. The other half is non-smoking...no wall or anything to separate the sections...just a row of nicer tables. I used to go to water aerobics and the walking fitness 5 days a week... Shoot...I just burst out crying...I miss the activities... I miss my friends...4 of my friends work here and they are smokers. I also have non-smoking friends in the fitness class. My best friend is my biggest supporter! My point is...I want to go swim in the pool...I want to get back to exercising...I want to go down to the grass to listen to the band tonight...I'm afraid of going down there and being hit with a huge trigger. Any suggestions of how I deal with this? I'm paralyzed with fear!!!

Deborah 15 DOF

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14 Comments

constanceclum Jun 23, 2018 2:47 PM
Well, you can't really smoke if you're swimming or exercising. Maybe at first you could go and just do your activities. Then, when you're more relaxed, visit on the nonsmoking side of the patio for a short period of time. Concentrate on the friends who don't smoke and eventually you'll make more friends on the nonsmoking side. My husband smokes outside. He pretty much hangs outside in the afternoons and I go out for short visits. Most of the time I don't even notice that he's smoking and I'm only on day 20. Keep hanging on and you'll get there.
Connie
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- princessdeborahd @ constanceclum on Jun 23, 2018 3:45 PM
  constanceclum
  Thanks Connie♡ I talked to my best friend about this and she said she would go down there with me...She is a non-smoker. You said just the exercise...that's definitely doable. There are doors to the water aerobics indoor pool that I can go in without actually being on the patio...same with the entrance to the fitness class. Monday morning will be the day! Michael and I can hear the band from our place if we are out in our yard..
  Thanks again Connie♡♡♡
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YoungAtHeart Jun 23, 2018 2:55 PM
I like Contance's advice. Be sure you have a PLAN to leave immediately if it gets tough. I would agree that starting out with activities is the way to go. Maybe just leave after them for awhile. Gradually add a bit of socializing...I would stay away from that patio for awhile. A brief stop in would be OK - but, again, be prepared to abandon ship if it gets to you at all.
You might just be surprised and be able to increase your time/areas...but do start out slowly!
Nancy
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- princessdeborahd @ YoungAtHeart on Jun 23, 2018 3:56 PM
  YoungAtHeart. Hi Nancy...I agree with you and Connie. Exercise first!! As I told Connie I will enter through non patio doors. And my best friend will come with me. Thanks for your advice♡
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maryfreecig Jun 23, 2018 5:30 PM
If you miss smoking don't go (my opinion only). If you want to grow your smobriety by getting back to a place you enjoyed then for sure go. Whatever that teeny tiny voice that tells the truth is whispering, listen. Sounds like you have a solid plan.
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- princessdeborahd @ maryfreecig on Jun 23, 2018 10:19 PM
  maryfreecig ...I really don't miss smoking. I am really enjoying my smobriety. I don't miss sitting on the patio smoking, but I really miss being in the water and our exercise class. I think I will be okay going but I know I cannot be on the patio! Thanks for your input♡
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JACKIE1-25-15 Jun 23, 2018 6:04 PM
I am happy to hear that you have a friend to support you. As everyone has said focus on the activities if you feel vulnerable leave. Keep it simple, don't do more than you feel comfortable doing.
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JonesCarpeDiem Jun 23, 2018 6:05 PM
Put some vicks

(on the end of their cigarettes)
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- princessdeborahd @ JonesCarpeDiem on Jun 23, 2018 10:22 PM
  JonesCarpeDiem
  Hahahahaha..I love your sense of humor!!
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elvan Jun 23, 2018 7:42 PM
I go to a friend's pool to work out and she smokes...so does another friend who goes there, as well as her sister. I leave if I am uncomfortable....I stay in the pool most of the time and do my OWN workout. Makes me feel empowered.
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freeneasy Jun 23, 2018 10:58 PM
Going to the pool and exercise class would be good, especially with your nonsmoking friend. It would be good to avoid the places where you'll run into smokers for a while if you can.
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- princessdeborahd @ freeneasy on Jun 23, 2018 11:17 PM
  freeneasy You are absolutely right!! I don't want to be around any smokers. Our exercise class starts at 7:00 am. Too early for all the smokers to be out on the patio. The pool woman is a good friend and a smoker. Some times she comes in to the exercise room in the morning and that will be a quick trigger to see her. We were smoking buddies. I'm determinal to stay off the patio and get back to my exercise! Thanks.
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IrishRose Jun 24, 2018 2:37 AM
Sounds like the water and walking exercises would be really good for you to get started with. Really, anything that requires physical energy would be great for you. I highly recommend you stay away from the other activities until you are ready to deal with being around things that cause triggers to pop up left and right. You are only quit 15 days, and you do not want to test yourself, because testing causes too much stress, and it's just not good to test yourself so soon. So funny, I could not go into a bar and have a drink - it was a trigger. Now, if I go into a bar, I want to leave, because the stench of the cancer sticks is a really, really rank scent to me now. Coffin nail smoke really smells horrible, but I never realized it until after I had been quit a good while and started to appreciate the scents of other things that were much more pleasing to me. Bingo may have to wait - I could see that as a major trigger too. Physical exercise is the way to go, and when you finish, go get a glass of water and stay uphill of any cancer sticks burning.

((((hug)))) for you - hang in there - this too shall pass, and you will be a stronger Lady for it.

Irish Rose
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- princessdeborahd @ IrishRose on Jun 24, 2018 12:53 PM
  IrishRose ... thank you for your advice♡ you are right...stay away from the activities in the clubhouse where smokers will be around! Don't want to put my self to the test unnecessarily . Thanks again♡
  Deb
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15 Days...Need Advice

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