2650 days ONE at a time

Blog Post created by indingrl.01.06.2011 on Apr 9, 2018

2650 DAYS NICOTINE FREE FOR ME ONLY BY GOD'S GRACE......please I am talking about ME only not anyone else so please take what helps and let go of the rest thank you.... Gosh 2650 DAYS.....God willing I tried to come here EACH DAY I was given to blog or read and TRY to help give the HOPE that was given FREELY to ME.... Sometimes I just NEED PEOPLE so I could expresses MY complaining whining crying pitch MY fit of immaturity and sometimes just to get ATTENTION because I was ignorant in just asking for some extra unconditional love while GROWING in MY NON SMOKER LIFE STYLE..... it is not that I wasn't grateful to be NICOTINE FREE.... For ME it was very uncomfortable receiving love joy peace kindness faithfulness patience goodness gentleness and self control. All God's blessings and healings INSIDE OF ME FIRST.... God did the surgery INSIDE of ME while I would come here and blog all about ME... admitting MY INSIDES of the people places things situations circumstances and suffering the consequences of MY past or present CHOICES or MY DAY by day of living in MY OWN NON SMOKING CHOICES OF REAL RAW willingness to be willing to admit complete defeat for ME..I DIDNT LIKE IT AT TIMES CUZ IT WAS CHANGE IN ME AND OUTSIDE ME FOR MY GOOD.... I was ignorant of MY HUMAN BEING INSIDE of ME...see I use to be a raging victim of MY PAST and MY OLD CHOICES which grew comfortable for ME...ANGER RULED yet I knew in MY heart I didn't want the OLD ME BACK.....yet THE NEW ME WAS STILL BEING BORN ....A NEW NON SMOKER ME....I was learning HOW to ACCEPT change healthy CHOICES JUST FOR ME.... NEW NON SMOKER LIFE YET.....I was TORE by the OLD and fear of the NEW UNKNOWN NON SMOKER LIFE STYLE.....OLD memories of escapism from ME...feelings....past haunting of bad choices I had to live with in this NEW NON SMOKER LIFE....things and hurts I could not change...suffering I caused OTHERS by MY USING NICOTINE... I remembered......I used NICOTINE to shove way down inside... A DRUG THAT SLOWLY takes MY life subtly yet SUDDENLY....coughing...then being strangled by the mucus strings that seemed like it would never end until MY breathe is taken and then SUDDENLY....the attack passes....I just continue lighting another DEATH stick and thought......awe that wasn't too bad....I must be getting a cold....TODAY....this DAY only....I know FACTS about ME and MY DRUG USING NICOTINE and for MOST of MY 2650 DAYS.... each day I came here TOOK the SUGGESTIONS from those STAYING QUIT ONE DAY AT A TIME by giving hope love and joy by SUGGESTIING TO ME....educate MYSELF by reading the book by Joel wrote titled...Never Take Another Puff at and watch the videos of day 1-2-3 etc.....for ME not anyone else....then come here and blog BEFORE I use over ME.. so I did and only by God's grace for ME.... MY day.....ONE DAY...became 2650 days on this site staying MY FIRST 90 DAYS on this site ...reading....blogging.... MY VENT blogs it ALL away to anyone who WANTS by God's grace I will remain a NON SMOKER recovering TOGETHER with ALL those here....TODAY....thanks for letting ME share and please keep coming BACK... that's what was SUGGESTED to ME.... FREELY GIVEN....FREELY GIVE...I NEED PEOPLE EACH OF MY DAYS SO THANKS ALL PEOPLE...THANKS!