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Share your quitting journey

Why?

Christine13
Member
2 30 214

Why do I get days like I just can't or won't do anything to help myself out?  Yesterday and today have been heavy grieving days and I went and bought cigarettes.  I smoked seven last night and had another four today.  My therapist actually said I should smoke right now to get through this difficult period, she said my mental health was more important than my physical health right now.  She said without my mental health I have nothing.  I can't afford to break down, but I feel she should have supported me with my decision.  My oral pathologist wants to see me in another 3 months.  I am close to tears again here today.  I have to stop this madness.  I don't feel strong right now at all.

So........I know smoking doesn't help a darn thing, I am close to loosing it, and I'm going forward with my quit.

I don't get her rational, without my physical health I'm screwed too.  That could mean my life!!  My life is more important to me!!  I am feeling stressed and pressured.  I know when I am quit I feel better about myself so I'm going forward with that.  I will feel my feelings and get through it somehow, without smoking!!  I need to learn a new life, without Brian and without going to my crutch.  Thanks for listening I need to decide what to do here in order to make my quit a priority.  Oddly enough I don't want to deal with grieving either, I want a magic pill that will make my heart and soul feel better.  There is no magic pill to make things better.  God be with me.

30 Comments
About the Author
I'm a widow now, my husband passed away January 1, 2018 He died of COPD, and pre leukemia and the flu. He quit smoking 15 years ago which gave him extra time. I am a mother, and grandmother. I have smoked for 47 years. I am going to have my forever quit and I'm doing it for me and my two daughters so I can live longer and be with them. I like to read, swim, garden, crochet, paint and doodle. I also enjoy walking and visiting with friends and family. I am 100% making this my last quit. I have been in denial about what smoking has done to me and my kids. I must make a new life for myself and it doesn't include cigarettes. I may already have COPD, but have not been officially diagnosed.