Good day exer’s!!!
I hope all is well with you! There was a time where deep in my mind, I thought I was invincible. That bad things only happen to others and that my future would be just fine with what I was doing right now. I was content and believed that I was perfectly happy with my life and how I was living it.
But like so many of us, I realized that my perception of the world was all a lie. You see, I was an addict and as such, I’d trained myself for years to be comfortable in my addicted life and you know what? I realized that I wasn’t just lying to myself about smoking. No. Once we begin to deceive ourselves in order to justify smoking, we start to do it in other places as well.
The addiction teaches us that deception makes things easier to deal with. That we can live our lives happily without ever have to change a thing. That the time we waste smoking is actually somehow a very productive period of time.
We build our addictions one day at a time, one cigarette at a time and with each passing day we strengthen that addiction and allow the tentacles to intertwine into every part of our being, like a creature that sucks the life out of us while digging ever deeper into our very essence, controlling us.
I saw this image of my addiction very soon after I quit. I realized that over all those years, I’d allowed it to grow inside of me. To consume my very being and my outlook on life. Even as I felt the effects of my smoking, I denied reality because it was easier than admitting to myself that I was an addict and that I had to take my life back. That I had to change things for my own good. Like every addict, I was my own worst enemy.
And then the coughing started. Every morning for a couple of hours, I would cough endlessly as I smoked my morning cigarettes. Still I let the cloud of addiction keep me from seeing the truth, because it’s just easier then facing reality.
But one day I did see through the deception. I saw my life how it really was and you know what? I realized it wasn’t the world I’d happily convinced myself it was. When the cloud of addiction was lifted from my eyes, the world just looked ugly, or rather my little piece of it.
I was both amazed and terrified of the truth that I was now seeing, amazed that I’d never seen it before and terrified because I knew I’d have to do something about it and on that day, I chose to take the harder path and change my life forever!
A little over seven years ago when I put out that last cigarette, I began the recreation of myself. A little over seven years ago, I changed that ugly world into something beautiful! In reality, the world was always beautiful. I was just too addicted to see it. The ugliness was my addicted perception of that world, not the world itself.
And since that time that I put out that last cigarette, the world really has become beautiful and now I have the time and desire to see it in all its splendour. I just feel so much more a part of this wonderful world now that I’m free.
I feel no shame for my past, only a kind of sadness because I was missing the real world for so long. But now there’s a kind of pride in my world and a belief that I could do almost anything if I just put my mind to it for you see, when I smoked there was always a distraction in the back of my mind. Creating the schedule to feed my addiction. Deciding if I even wanted to go places where I couldn’t smoke.
Now there is peace. And a kind of real happiness that comes from deep inside. There’s a sense of pride that I chose life over a slow agonizing death. But mostly, all of the color has returned to my world and it’s no longer ugly. Now it’s beauty is beyond belief!
That same world is waiting for you. Go for it!! I can’t wait for you to see it!! All it takes is a little time and a burning desire to be free . . .
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!