Venting part 1. Felt tired. Felt anxious, yelled, almost cried.
I have to be grateful today, because I went for a walk to the park with my husband and my dogs. We had a great time even though I was obviously not feeling up to par. He took my hand in his because he noticed I was quiet. I wasn't angry or upset, I wasn't feeling good and when I'm not, I'm quiet. My husband tried to cheer me up and I did smile. Those are the times when I feel this distance between how others manage life without smoking and how I don't. Oh, I know that there will be a day that I can get on with my life without thinking about a cigarette, but I'm not there yet and that's okay. People make bad choices even when they don't smoke, or never smoked. I made a choice not to smoke today. That was a good choice. I can say that I'm grateful for that.
