Venting part 1. Felt tired. Felt anxious, yelled, almost cried.
I have to be grateful today, because I went for a walk to the park with my husband and my dogs. We had a great time even though I was obviously not feeling up to par. He took my hand in his because he noticed I was quiet. I wasn't angry or upset, I wasn't feeling good and when I'm not, I'm quiet. My husband tried to cheer me up and I did smile. Those are the times when I feel this distance between how others manage life without smoking and how I don't. Oh, I know that there will be a day that I can get on with my life without thinking about a cigarette, but I'm not there yet and that's okay. People make bad choices even when they don't smoke, or never smoked. I made a choice not to smoke today. That was a good choice. I can say that I'm grateful for that.
It's nice to come on here and vent to people that understand isn't it? Those first days really sucked and somehow reading others stories and writing about mine helped. So keep up the hard work and rant on here as often as you need, we are reading:)